Music Section Morning Tea Society

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue Jun 22, 2021 8:08 pm

First topic message reminder :

Banana

by **Pal Joey** Sat Jul 17, 2021 2:46 am

superflyweight wrote:Funnel webs are nasty looking buggers up close. Also something quite eerie about their webs . Saw plenty of them on Fraser Island.

We used to pour petrol down the funnel holes and then watch them stagger out ablaze. Then smash them with a rock. I've killed many.

On another occasion my brother and I were dismantling an old brick compost heap. When we got down to the bottom we found about 30 funnel webs... probably from the same batch the got old Kath McCosker. We also napalmed that lot purely for peace of mind. It was total bloody carnage.

by **Galted** Sat Jul 17, 2021 3:33 am

Pal Joey wrote:
Galted wrote:
Pal Joey wrote:
Galted wrote:I'm going to request that the cat be entombed alive with my corpse. That'll teach the little sod.

I'm hoping it's not the gamma variant.

Thanks for the outpouring of concern, PJ.

The truth though is that death has no variants apart from face up or face down.

Instead of the beach why don't you suggest to Galtova a few hours in the sauna... to sweat the thing out. She'd probably love that. However, you'll still feel pretty rotten in the heat (initially) but then you've got a good excuse to crash out for a few days and recover more quickly. Get well soon.

Don't fancy having all the Russians laughing at my c0ck again.

by **Galted** Sat Jul 17, 2021 3:34 am

Pal Joey wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Funnel webs are nasty looking buggers up close. Also something quite eerie about their webs . Saw plenty of them on Fraser Island.

We used to pour petrol down the funnel holes and then watch them stagger out ablaze. Then smash them with a rock. I've killed many.

On another occasion my brother and I were dismantling an old brick compost heap. When we got down to the bottom we found about 30 funnel webs... probably from the same batch the got old Kath McCosker. We also napalmed that lot purely for peace of mind. It was total bloody carnage.

I see PJ in a whole new light knowing that he's napalmed deadly animals.

by **Galted** Sat Jul 17, 2021 4:52 am

PJ clearing a a couple of cane toads out of the neighbourhood.

Music Section Morning Tea Society - Page 9 Pj10

by **Pal Joey** Sat Jul 17, 2021 11:47 am

Feel bad about it now but at the time I was acting on pure fear and adrenaline. It was like we didn't have a choice. It was us or them.

by **ShahenshahG** Sat Jul 17, 2021 10:34 pm

Pal Joey wrote:Feel bad about it now but at the time I was acting on pure fear and adrenaline. It was like we didn't have a choice. It was us or them.

With that attitude you could probably join any given American police force

by **Pal Joey** Sat Jul 17, 2021 11:12 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Pal Joey wrote:Feel bad about it now but at the time I was acting on pure fear and adrenaline. It was like we didn't have a choice. It was us or them.

With that attitude you could probably join any given American police force

Or even our local one.

How's it going Shah? How's junior?
Any plans for that Amsterdam trip?

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:09 pm

Too hot to fist.

by lostinwales Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:57 pm

Sicond. This attic office doesn't seem like such a smart idea right now

by **Galted** Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:15 pm

Tird.

I managed to survive the weekend, although it was touch and go. Almost died on the floor on Saturday night surrounded by my loved ones, Galtova watching tv, my son using my head as a hill for his off-road machines and the cat, having rejected me due to my ill-health, sitting on Galtova's lap.

If anyone on here suspects that their life may be in the balance, I would advise you buy yourself a box of Strepsils and drink a cup of Rooibos each night.

by **Pal Joey** Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:21 pm

fRoTh.

I'm just glad all of you guys are still alive on the fist morning of freedom day.

Average pleasant winter's day here. Watched some Challenge Cup, sailing, motor racing and golf on the weekend. It looked as though everyone was enjoying themselves.

I'm not Mary Ward by the way.

by lostinwales Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:22 pm

So who was Tom O'Connor?

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:30 pm

Tom O'Connor = Tino Connor.

by lostinwales Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:43 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Tom O'Connor = Tino Connor.

That would certainly explain the 'jokes'

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:58 pm

lostinwales wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Tom O'Connor = Tino Connor.

That would certainly explain the 'jokes'

L*l out loud.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:23 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
lostinwales wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Tom O'Connor = Tino Connor.

That would certainly explain the 'jokes'

L*l out loud.

I also feel like I should l*l out loud but I don't know who Tom O'Connor is and I'm refusing to google him as that will give added validity to what I am fairly certain must be an insult from LiW.

by **superflyweight** Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:28 pm

What do you mean that you don't know who Tom O'Connor is? Did you never watch Crosswits, the crossword themed daytime quiz show that he hosted on ITV? It was lovely stuff.

Am sure that was where he unleashed the definitive crossword joke, "I'm not sure of the answer to 9 across, but 7 up is lemonade".

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:31 pm

Denise Lewis is going out with Tom O'Connor's son, I think.

Morning all.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:41 pm

superflyweight wrote:"I'm not sure of the answer to 9 across, but 7 up is lemonade".

l*l out loud.

Maybe LiW wasn't insulting me.

Morning rIcKO. Glad to see you're not dead yet.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:45 pm

'sup Tino, not yet but the heat and work are giving it a go, I see we've adopted Duty in my absence.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:46 pm

Crosswords don't have 'up' clues, only across and down.
LiW was insulting you.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:51 pm

rIck_dAgless wrote:'sup Tino, not yet but the heat and work are giving it a go, I see we've adopted Duty in my absence.

I faced a fierce backlash though, riCK. The place was simmering with tension for a few days. It hadn't felt so alive since Galted talked us through the time he fixed the inner zip on his waterproof jacket.

Duty appears to have died anyway so it will all blow over.

by lostinwales Mon Jul 19, 2021 10:00 pm

Duty is probably too busy talking up Trump's hopes for reelection in 2024.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Jul 19, 2021 10:23 pm

lostinwales wrote:Duty is probably too busy talking up Trump's hopes for reelection in 2024.

Just need Truss to come up with the latest polling numbers.

Trump 64%
Biden 47%
Someone else 71%

At least 84% of Truss's stats are made up.

by Duty281 Mon Jul 19, 2021 10:33 pm

Made up and often misunderstood.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 10:59 pm

Duty281 wrote:Made up and often misunderstood.

You or Truss's stats?

by Duty281 Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:02 pm

I expect better from a thrilling raconteur such as yourself.

by **Galted** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:04 pm

I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

by lostinwales Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:05 pm

Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:07 pm

Duty281 wrote:I expect better from a thrilling raconteur such as yourself.

No you don't.

by **Galted** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:10 pm

lostinwales wrote:
Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

That's worthy of an 'oooooh, you're onto something there'. Might be worth presenting the idea to Flipper. I thought of Tino as he has experience of both death and running these competitions, but he takes so long that by the time we're near the end there would be a lot more famous dead c*nts too late to qualify (pardon the pun).

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:23 pm

Galted wrote:
lostinwales wrote:
Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

That's worthy of an 'oooooh, you're onto something there'. Might be worth presenting the idea to Flipper. I thought of Tino as he has experience of both death and running these competitions, but he takes so long that by the time we're near the end there would be a lot more famous dead c*nts too late to qualify (pardon the pun).

My competitions had a touch more class than voting on c*nts. Dead or alive.

by **Galted** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:26 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
lostinwales wrote:
Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

That's worthy of an 'oooooh, you're onto something there'. Might be worth presenting the idea to Flipper. I thought of Tino as he has experience of both death and running these competitions, but he takes so long that by the time we're near the end there would be a lot more famous dead c*nts too late to qualify (pardon the pun).

My competitions had a touch more class than voting on c*nts. Dead or alive.

I'm not sure they had class but they were well thought out.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:28 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
lostinwales wrote:
Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

That's worthy of an 'oooooh, you're onto something there'. Might be worth presenting the idea to Flipper. I thought of Tino as he has experience of both death and running these competitions, but he takes so long that by the time we're near the end there would be a lot more famous dead c*nts too late to qualify (pardon the pun).

My competitions had a touch more class than voting on c*nts. Dead or alive.

You won't be nominating Pete Burns, then?

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:33 pm

lostinwales wrote:
Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

Has anyone made a "just like my ex's was" joke yet?

by **Pal Joey** Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:34 pm

We hereby sentence Ms. Katie Hopkins to Transportation to the Far Away Land of Albion for the Remaining Term of Her Natural Life for the Crime of nearly exposing Her Person (or Persons... if Unwashed), whilst wearing nothing but a Covid Mask - as per the Regulations currently In Force at the Penal Colony of Botany Bay - to an Innocent and Unsuspecting Hotel Porter (delivering apparently substandard Food) during her Mandatory 14-day Quarantine Period at Hotel Unknown.

We Trust that She finds you Well upon Her Return to Your Green and Pleasant Land (All Be It Singed a Shade of Yellow of Late due to Global Warming and Climate Change) and may Big Brother forgive us for Delivering Her back to you in More-or-Less-Equal Parts notwithstanding Her Previously Suspended Tw*tter Account of course. So Help us God.

This XIX Day of Iulius H Marxus MMXXI

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:35 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
lostinwales wrote:
Galted wrote:I also didn't know who Tom O'Connor was but I wish Julius had been present to take him to task over the ridiculous crossword joke.

Could be a candidate for the next c*nt knockout.

c*nt's who are also dead? Different. Opens up lots of possibilities.

That's worthy of an 'oooooh, you're onto something there'. Might be worth presenting the idea to Flipper. I thought of Tino as he has experience of both death and running these competitions, but he takes so long that by the time we're near the end there would be a lot more famous dead c*nts too late to qualify (pardon the pun).

My competitions had a touch more class than voting on c*nts. Dead or alive.

You won't be nominating Pete Burns, then?

Probably would actually because he is/was.

by lostinwales Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:38 pm

Just thinking about how back in the day, after Cuba's successful revolution, they exported the likes of Che Guevara overseas to ferment revolution elsewhere. Here, after Brexit, we export Hopkins and Farage.

by **superflyweight** Tue Jul 20, 2021 1:10 am

I see it's kicking off in London again today. Crazy how so many people have collectively lost their f*ck1ng minds.

I blame Duty and c*nts like him.

by **Galted** Tue Jul 20, 2021 1:19 am

superflyweight wrote:I see it's kicking off in London again today. Crazy how so many people have collectively lost their Frak minds.

I blame Duty and c*nts like him.

Unless tw*tter is lying to me, it's anti-lockdown protestors protesting the end of lockdown, so at least it makes sense.

To be fair to them, it's the sort of scorching weather that boils brains in bald heads and throwing a bottle at a police officer can seem like a good idea.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue Jul 20, 2021 6:12 pm

The phrase "Avoid like the plague" can now be put to bed, as we can now see the little effort people will go through to avoid an actual plague...

Rare fist.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Jul 20, 2021 6:38 pm

Medium sicond.

by **Galted** Tue Jul 20, 2021 6:53 pm

rIck_dAgless wrote:The phrase "Avoid like the plague" can now be put to bed, as we can now see the little effort people will go through to avoid an actual plague...

That's the kind of content that makes this forum worthwhile. If it's acceptable to you, I will use said comment in such a manner as to convince the audience to whom I'm delivering it that it was I who produced it (although I shall not make this claim explicitly in case the audience contains a Dagless or a Super).

Tird.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Jul 20, 2021 7:31 pm

Galted wrote:
Tird.

Well done.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue Jul 20, 2021 7:38 pm

Galted wrote:
rIck_dAgless wrote:The phrase "Avoid like the plague" can now be put to bed, as we can now see the little effort people will go through to avoid an actual plague...

That's the kind of content that makes this forum worthwhile. If it's acceptable to you, I will use said comment in such a manner as to convince the audience to whom I'm delivering it that it was I who produced it (although I shall not make this claim explicitly in case the audience contains a Dagless or a Super).

Tird.

It would be an honour... (f**k off spellcheck, honour has a "u" in it)

by **Galted** Tue Jul 20, 2021 7:39 pm

Much appreciated. I shall get to work at once.

by **Galted** Tue Jul 20, 2021 7:41 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:
Tird.

Well done.

Thanks. It's not easy being nearly dead and contributing to the internet at the same time. Makes me appreciate Tino so much more.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:24 pm

Galted wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:
Tird.

Well done.

Thanks. It's not easy being nearly dead and contributing to the internet at the same time. Makes me appreciate Tino so much more.

Thanks, Galted. It is pretty tough actually.

I run a Culture Cup in the afterlife as well. It actually runs slower than the one I did on here. Getting William Wordsworth to tell me his favourite Pussycat Dolls song has been difficult.

by **Galted** Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:35 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:
Tird.

Well done.

Thanks. It's not easy being nearly dead and contributing to the internet at the same time. Makes me appreciate Tino so much more.

Thanks, Galted. It is pretty tough actually.

I run a Culture Cup in the afterlife as well. It actually runs slower than the one I did on here. Getting William Wordsworth to tell me his favourite Pussycat Dolls song has been difficult.

Then Wordsworth needs to be nominated for the impending dead c*nts competition.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:37 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Galted wrote:
Tird.

Well done.

Thanks. It's not easy being nearly dead and contributing to the internet at the same time. Makes me appreciate Tino so much more.

Thanks, Galted. It is pretty tough actually.

I run a Culture Cup in the afterlife as well. It actually runs slower than the one I did on here. Getting William Wordsworth to tell me his favourite Pussycat Dolls song has been difficult.

Then Wordsworth needs to be nominated for the impending dead c*nts competition.

He would fit perfectly in the Dead Poets Society.

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