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Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:

alfie wrote:A nice try by Galted and his shark to reinvigorate this thread ; but judging by the last six day's work I am beginning to suspect my ill-advised attempt to stick my head in has effectively killed it  : apologies all round  

Of course PJ and Tino (maybe he really was eaten by a bear ?) seem to be missing so perhaps all is not lost yet ...

Rick's the one with the shark, I've got a cat.

Tino often dies but I'm starting to worry about PJ, hope he hasn't been eaten by a wombat.

I did get cornered in the garden but I managed to negotiate my release with the offer of some old carrots... which I just happened to have in my pockets at the time.
I was warned, however, to make sure I brought fresh broccoli next time... or else.

Bit disturbing, I think PJ's mind's been taken over by a Ophiocordyceps unilateralis. This one likes broccoli.

Keep us posted, champ. I for one can barely sleep for the anticipation.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Keep us posted, champ. I for one can barely sleep for the anticipation.

Will do. Sorry to build the suspense like this, not much into drama myself but it's not a decision to take lightly.

You need to go full circle and buy the sofa cover in Runcorn.

Made from human skin and lost hopes and dreams.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Made from human skin and lost hopes and dreams.

Or polyester and latex.

Duty281 wrote:You need to go full circle and buy the sofa cover in Runcorn.

One day I'm going to break the rules and take you out for a night in Runcorn. The thought of you ordering a lager and lime in the Red Addy is both amusing and terrifying in equal measures.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Made from human skin and lost hopes and dreams.

Sad, but true.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:You need to go full circle and buy the sofa cover in Runcorn.

One day I'm going to break the rules and take you out for a night in Runcorn. The thought of you ordering a lager and lime in the Red Addy is both amusing and terrifying in equal measures.

Aren't gays able to consume infinite amounts of alcohol without any ill effects? Might be elves.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:You need to go full circle and buy the sofa cover in Runcorn.

One day I'm going to break the rules and take you out for a night in Runcorn. The thought of you ordering a lager and lime in the Red Addy is both amusing and terrifying in equal measures.

Aren't gays able to consume infinite amounts of alcohol without any ill effects? Might be elves.

Maybe. More the act of asking for lime in your lager rather than the volume consumed that will land him in trouble.

I've been away a long time now, not sure I could keep Dooty safe if he starts mincing round Murdishaw in cycling shorts and a crop top.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Duty281 wrote:You need to go full circle and buy the sofa cover in Runcorn.

One day I'm going to break the rules and take you out for a night in Runcorn. The thought of you ordering a lager and lime in the Red Addy is both amusing and terrifying in equal measures.

Aren't gays able to consume infinite amounts of alcohol without any ill effects? Might be elves.

Maybe. More the act of asking for lime in your lager rather than the volume consumed that will land him in trouble.

I've been away a long time now, not sure I could keep Dooty safe if he starts mincing round Murdishaw in cycling shorts and a crop top.

Used to drink at the Fleetwood in the city before it shut down, one of my colleagues drank Fosters top, used to do my head in getting a round in. The bar staff were a multitude of Polish birds who weren't shy of showing their contemp for anything that wasn't straight methanol.

Fosters is basically p*ss anyway so adding lemonade should be a hanging offense.

I was briefly seeing a Polish girl in the late 90's. F*ck me, absolute filth. I made my mind up about them then and I've not had reason to change it since.

My mate once asked for a Lager Top in my old local near Newcastle in a mining town, and was told in no uncertain terms by the landlord that they don't server f**ing cocktails.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Fosters is basically p*ss anyway so adding lemonade should be a hanging offense.

I was briefly seeing a Polish girl in the late 90's. F*ck me, absolute filth. I made my mind up about them then and I've not had reason to change it since.

There are hordes of good looking Polish/Russian/Ukrainian mums I pass on the school drop off.  I've always suspected that they're whores and your post has confirmed my suspicions.

rIck_dAgless wrote:My mate once asked for a Lager Top in my old local near Newcastle in a mining town, and was told in no uncertain terms by the landlord that they don't server f**ing cocktails.

I guess that rules out my Sex on the Beach.

This has to be the most unsurprising allegation yet.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd7n1e8n721o

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:My mate once asked for a Lager Top in my old local near Newcastle in a mining town, and was told in no uncertain terms by the landlord that they don't server f**ing cocktails.

I guess that rules out my Sex on the Beach.

You couple probably get "Fingered Behind The Asda"

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:My mate once asked for a Lager Top in my old local near Newcastle in a mining town, and was told in no uncertain terms by the landlord that they don't server f**ing cocktails.

I guess that rules out my Sex on the Beach.

You couple probably get "Fingered Behind The Asda"

Shame. Would have been funny.

Sofa cover update:
Tried t'Home Bargains - they have a good selection of bath mats and duvet covers but nothing for sofas.  Probably because their customers seemed to be the type of people who'd lob their sofa into a cul-de-sac if it wasn't presentable.  Wasn't impressed either that there was no non-purchasing exit and I had to brush past fat people waiting at the tills to get out, a bit like t'Lidl.  Does seem to be a good place to buy Christmas decorations/stockings/hats etc so I will likely be back soon.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Fosters is basically p*ss anyway so adding lemonade should be a hanging offense.

I was briefly seeing a Polish girl in the late 90's. F*ck me, absolute filth. I made my mind up about them then and I've not had reason to change it since.

There are hordes of good looking Polish/Russian/Ukrainian mums I pass on the school drop off.  I've always suspected that they're whores and your post has confirmed my suspicions.

Do the Russian and Ukrainian mums fight at the school gate?

Do their tops get ripped off exposing their breasts? just asking for a mate.

Galted wrote:Sofa cover update:
Tried t'Home Bargains - they have a good selection of bath mats and duvet covers but nothing for sofas.  Probably because their customers seemed to be the type of people who'd lob their sofa into a cul-de-sac if it wasn't presentable.  Wasn't impressed either that there was no non-purchasing exit and I had to brush past fat people waiting at the tills to get out, a bit like t'Lidl.  Does seem to be a good place to buy Christmas decorations/stockings/hats etc so I will likely be back soon.

Keep going. This place won't rest till you've got your sofa cover.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Fosters is basically p*ss anyway so adding lemonade should be a hanging offense.

I was briefly seeing a Polish girl in the late 90's. F*ck me, absolute filth. I made my mind up about them then and I've not had reason to change it since.

There are hordes of good looking Polish/Russian/Ukrainian mums I pass on the school drop off.  I've always suspected that they're whores and your post has confirmed my suspicions.

Do the Russian and Ukrainian mums fight at the school gate?

Do their tops get ripped off exposing their breasts? just asking for a mate.

Nope, they're all pretty chummy.  They hang out together after dropping off the kids, presumably go back to one of their flats for some tea and fanny antics.  I'll let them know we're from Mumsnyeet and see if we can get an invite.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Fosters is basically p*ss anyway so adding lemonade should be a hanging offense.

I was briefly seeing a Polish girl in the late 90's. F*ck me, absolute filth. I made my mind up about them then and I've not had reason to change it since.

There are hordes of good looking Polish/Russian/Ukrainian mums I pass on the school drop off.  I've always suspected that they're whores and your post has confirmed my suspicions.

Do the Russian and Ukrainian mums fight at the school gate?

Do their tops get ripped off exposing their breasts? just asking for a mate.

Nope, they're all pretty chummy.  They hang out together after dropping off the kids, presumably go back to one of their flats for some tea and fanny antics.  I'll let them know we're from Mumsnyeet and see if we can get an invite.

If we are wearing gimp masks, that probably gets us around the rules.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Fosters is basically p*ss anyway so adding lemonade should be a hanging offense.

I was briefly seeing a Polish girl in the late 90's. F*ck me, absolute filth. I made my mind up about them then and I've not had reason to change it since.

There are hordes of good looking Polish/Russian/Ukrainian mums I pass on the school drop off.  I've always suspected that they're whores and your post has confirmed my suspicions.

Do the Russian and Ukrainian mums fight at the school gate?

Do their tops get ripped off exposing their breasts? just asking for a mate.

Nope, they're all pretty chummy.  They hang out together after dropping off the kids, presumably go back to one of their flats for some tea and fanny antics.  I'll let them know we're from Mumsnyeet and see if we can get an invite.

If we are wearing gimp masks, that probably gets us around the rules.

Rules‽  What happened to that renegade called Tino I grew to know and love respect tolerate?

That's what being assistant to the seamstress will do to a man.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:That's what being assistant to the seamstress will do to a man.

Seamstress's assistant.

Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

And a pair of high heels for your son.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

And a pair of high heels for your son.

He'd be up for that. Once tried to persuade me to buy an Elsa outfit when we were looking for clothes for the school nativity.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

And a pair of high heels for your son.

He'd be up for that.  Once tried to persuade me to buy an Elsa outfit when we were looking for clothes for the school nativity.

For you to wear or him?

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

And a pair of high heels for your son.

He'd be up for that.  Once tried to persuade me to buy an Elsa outfit when we were looking for clothes for the school nativity.

I'm sure Tino's boss could knock up a nice dress for him.

Presumably for him. The conversation never progressed beyond 'NO'.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

And a pair of high heels for your son.

He'd be up for that.  Once tried to persuade me to buy an Elsa outfit when we were looking for clothes for the school nativity.

I'm sure Tino's boss could knock up a nice dress for him.

Absolutely could. PM me Galted, I can do mates rates.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Nothing yet.  Will try to get to B&M over the weekend, have to head in that direction as my son needs new school shoes and hoping that Sunday will be the day.

Had a look at the store on Google maps and noticed that the sign above the door says Exit Only and that it's LGBTQ+ friendly so, if I'm able to get in, I'll probably end up getting a cover decorated with sequins.

And a pair of high heels for your son.

He'd be up for that.  Once tried to persuade me to buy an Elsa outfit when we were looking for clothes for the school nativity.

I'm sure Tino's boss could knock up a nice dress for him.

Absolutely could. PM me Galted, I can do mates rates.

Top man, Tino, tearing up a bit over here.  Suddenly the sofa cover doesn't matter so much, some things are much, much more important than a vaguely presentable sofa.



PS: does your boss do sofa covers?

Galted wrote:

Top man, Tino, tearing up a bit over here.  Suddenly the sofa cover doesn't matter so much, some things are much, much more important than a vaguely presentable sofa.



PS: does your boss do sofa covers?

No worries. We've turned an attempt by Jules to belittle us both into a beautiful moment. Sh*t like this is what t'internet was invented for.

She probably could do a sofa cover. I don't believe she's done one before but she is a very skilled seamstress so almost certainly within her range.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Top man, Tino, tearing up a bit over here.  Suddenly the sofa cover doesn't matter so much, some things are much, much more important than a vaguely presentable sofa.



PS: does your boss do sofa covers?

No worries. We've turned an attempt by Jules to belittle us both into a beautiful moment. Sh*t like this is what t'internet was invented for.

She probably could do a sofa cover. I don't believe she's done one before but she is a very skilled seamstress so almost certainly within her range.

I'm told her apprentice is top notch as well.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Update, Galted?

This is the only thing keeping me from another death.

Let me assist you.

Congratulations on this thread being so alive, by the way. Doesn't seem right somehow.

Thread split soon at this rate, but I tell you what won't split, anything made by Tino's boss.

I'm tempted to push for the thread split this time so that Duty can't see what it is.

That'll learn him.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Thread split soon at this rate, but I tell you what won't split, anything made by Tino's boss.

She uses a stronger thread than this one.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Thread split soon at this rate, but I tell you what won't split, anything made by Tino's boss.

L*l out loud.

superflyweight wrote:I'm tempted to push for the thread split this time so that Duty can't see what it is.

That'll learn him.

I think you should do it. I offered to take him out mincing round Runcorn (him mincing, not me) and he didn't even acknowledge. People have had their membership revoked for less than that.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm tempted to push for the thread split this time so that Duty can't see what it is.

That'll learn him.

I think you should do it. I offered to take him out mincing round Runcorn (him mincing, not me) and he didn't even acknowledge. People have had their membership revoked for less than that.

He's probably just upset and distracted by the row (pronounced 'row') between Farage and Habib.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm tempted to push for the thread split this time so that Duty can't see what it is.

That'll learn him.

I think you should do it. I offered to take him out mincing round Runcorn (him mincing, not me) and he didn't even acknowledge. People have had their membership revoked for less than that.

Yeah sorry, Tino, I can't take you up on that offer.

Firstly, that lager and lime beverage seems rather strong for a nancy southerner like me. Secondly, I've checked out Grindr in Runcorn and it looks ghastly. Would probably end up shagging you, which isn't ideal for either of us, and is almost certainly breaking the rules.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm tempted to push for the thread split this time so that Duty can't see what it is.

That'll learn him.

I think you should do it. I offered to take him out mincing round Runcorn (him mincing, not me) and he didn't even acknowledge. People have had their membership revoked for less than that.

He's probably just upset and distracted by the row (pronounced 'row') between Farage and Habib.

I'm actually more upset about Greg (Gregg?) getting suspended from Masterchef.

Duty281 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm tempted to push for the thread split this time so that Duty can't see what it is.

That'll learn him.

I think you should do it. I offered to take him out mincing round Runcorn (him mincing, not me) and he didn't even acknowledge. People have had their membership revoked for less than that.

Yeah sorry, Tino, I can't take you up on that offer.

Firstly, that lager and lime beverage seems rather strong for a nancy southerner like me. Secondly, I've checked out Grindr in Runcorn and it looks ghastly. Would probably end up shagging you, which isn't ideal for either of us, and is almost certainly breaking the rules.

Crikey. This escalated. I'm almost blushing. I haven't checked the rules for a while but being bummed by a fellow member probably should be outlawed if it isn't already.

I’d welcome a bumming. He’s blocked me on here and he never calls or writes. I’’m bereft.

I could take one for the team and then if goes well, he can bum you next. I've just read his latest post on the cricket board. Either someone wrote that for him, or he's in a happy mood so he will probably be a sympathetic and attentive lover.

Look after him up there though. I'm from Runcorn but even I'm f*cking terrified of Scotland. Lawless wild west of a place.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Look after him up there though. I'm from Runcorn but even I'm f*cking terrified of Scotland. Lawless wild west of a place.

Anyone who's terrified of Scotland clearly hasn't been to the playground in Greenwich Park during summer holidays. Makes the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan seem like an episode of Last of the Summer Wine.