Tall stories.

I had a conversation last week with an assistant in a golf shop whilst away on holiday. We were discussing a hole on a course I was due to play the following day. The hole is a par 6 measuring 767 yards off the back tees. I asked if he had played it, yes he replied, several times. He then went on to claim that on one occasion his drive had hit the cart path and he then hit the green with a 5 iron.

The hole doglegs very slightly to the left and the cart path run downs the right hand side of the fairway with trees further to the right. So if what he said was true, his ball would most likely have ended up in the trees. Assuming he had a clear shot to the green, even allowing for a bounce off the cart path, I reckon his drive would have gone no further than 450 yards as an absolute maximum, more likely 350. This would have left him 350+ yards with a 5 iron.

Sounds like a bit of a tall story to me! What ridiculous tall stories have you come across in your golfing travels?

Whenever you buy anything from our club pro, he always proclaims he isn't making ANY money on it. A tall story if ever i heard it.

Not a tall story d4s but a true one...

A few years ago a golfing pal of mine was taking a trip to the States. Relaxing in the business lounge at Heathrow Airport before the flight, he was dressed comfortably wearing a polo shirt showing a golf club motif.

He struck up a conversation with the guy sat next to him and they chatted for several minutes. After a while the guy, noticing the motif on my friends shirt said "Are you a golfer?" "Oh yes, I play as much as I can and I enjoy watching the golf on TV", my friend eagerly replied. "Do you play yourself?" he asked

"Yes" replied Retief Goosen "I am the current US Open Champion"!

My pal has never lived it down!...

Nice one BCM

A friend of mine has a friend (who I also know) that works for Taylormade looking after their tour players. This guy rang my pal up one day asking if he was free for a game the following Sunday. Mate replies'Yes, who's playing?' TM employee replies 'You, me, Fred and Retief'

0.001 secs later my mate replies' Just checked my diary, I'm free!'

drive4show wrote:...The hole is a par 6 measuring 767 yards off the back tees...

I don't know what's worse D4S, the obvious porky pie story or that fact someone thinks a 767 yard par 6 hole is a decent idea.

I wonder what Doak has to say about par 6's

navy

I had the same doubts about a 'novelty' hole like that but in practice, it actually works quite well. I hit driver then 2 3woods which put me level with the green but I missed just to the right. For a decent player, I think it gives a fun and different chance to attack for an eagle. I'm certainly not the longest player by any stretch of the imagination but even from the back tees it was in range in 3 for me.

never played a par 6 - but i really want to

It must be difficult to provide the player with 4 shots of interest while getting to the green, it seems many par fives fail to do this as it is.

my first ever medal round at a new course i had just joined back in 2005 and i got paired with a couple of decent golfers. one guy was a genuinely decent bloke and i enjoyed his company....the other bloke.....well you knew when he was lying because his lips moved !...loads of bull s hit from the word go but the best tall tale i ever did hear came at the 14th hole....good par 3 incedently....when he was telling me about his holiday in the states...cant remember the state.....and he was due on the first tee with his mate when a helicopter came into land behind the clubhouse. the starter told them they would have to postpone teeing of for about an hour and they would compensate them with dinner in the clubhouse afterwards because two members had just arrived for a game. they were a bit peed off but agreed and went back to the pitching area. 5 minutes later the starter came back up to them and said that if they didnt mind the two members had offered to make up a fourball with them and they could just make their way to the first tee. they decided to take up the offer and when they got to the tee...............mark o meara and.......tiger woods were on the tee waiting for them.

I recently told a story of how i took a Kevin Na (16) at the weekend, Lets call that a tall story, honestly

liegerwoods wrote:my first ever medal round at a new course i had just joined back in 2005 and i got paired with a couple of decent golfers. one guy was a genuinely decent bloke and i enjoyed his company....the other bloke.....well you knew when he was lying because his lips moved !...loads of bull s hit from the word go but the best tall tale i ever did hear came at the 14th hole....good par 3 incedently....when he was telling me about his holiday in the states...cant remember the state.....and he was due on the first tee with his mate when a helicopter came into land behind the clubhouse. the starter told them they would have to postpone teeing of for about an hour and they would compensate them with dinner in the clubhouse afterwards because two members had just arrived for a game. they were a bit peed off but agreed and went back to the pitching area. 5 minutes later the starter came back up to them and said that if they didnt mind the two members had offered to make up a fourball with them and they could just make their way to the first tee. they decided to take up the offer and when they got to the tee...............mark o meara and.......tiger woods were on the tee waiting for them.

As tall stories go that ones gotta be about 40foot tall.......... What a complete man sausage.

Why do some people feel the need to spout such utter crap in order to try to gain friends or favour when simply being yourself goes much further to gain both...

Its no secret I have a couple of pals that play the ET full time and another on the CT. So I pride myself on knowing what it takes to qualify for these tours as I regularly play with the guys in question when they are on down time periods/practice mode. Which is what made the tall tale of someone I played with last year so funny.

Playing in an Open comp at one of the clubs local to the family Mav, had a friend of mine caddying for me that day as a return favour for some business did on a free for him, I got paired with a guy that told me 2 stories in the first four holes, the first I laughed off even though he was lying so badly his nose should've grown 19 feet long. his first storey was how he'd supposedly off a 3 handicap made final round of Qschool and finished 31st on the rankings os missing out on his card! didn't at that point have the heart to tell him scratch handicap is the minimum requirement to even enter for a place at 1st qualifying for Q School! but like I say I ignored that storey. as the best was to come 3holes later and made my day.

He went onto say as he'd missed out on Q School he went onto play Europro for a year (about 3years before I was on course with him) without forfeiting his amateur status and finished top 10 in every event. He even said he'd just lost in a play off to a guy called Sam Piggot, and apparently had finished high enough in rankings to earn a place on the CT but turned it down for family reasons. It was just as he finished saying this I nearly urinated myself due to my caddies response to said storey teller. He kindly informed the guy he was chatting complete BS that he would not even have got a sponsors invite to the CT with a 3 handicap, needs be 2 or better, and that to play a full season he would have had to foreit his Am status effectively immediately he decided to accept prize money and that he could categorically inform said storey teller he never lost a playoff to Sam Piggot nor did he qualify for CT. Still feeling a little brash the storey teller went on to try and inform my caddy he had done all the above and how could someone call his storey a lie, "easy my caddy answered pulling out his wallet and driving licence allow me to introduce myself, my names Sam Piggot and i'm the outgoing Europoro general managerand former Europro tour player" Really that has to be my biggest ever highlight from a round of golf that I didn't win the comp in. I'd grown up knowing Sam since I was a nipper, he and my brother played county level together and when Sam got to +4 he turned pro, didn't work out to well and took the role with Europro because of his business acumen and to this day and on that storey teller will remain in my thoughts

Mav

great story, how did the guy react when his story was blown open?

The look of pure shock on his face combined with the laughs of the other guy in our 3 ball and my own led to an immediate on the spot NR, and a walk off. Genuinly thought we were going to see tears and the bottom lip was definately quivering. By the time we'd finished our first round he'd already gone home and had told event organisers he had an urgent call from the wife to go home. We allowed him to save face with the organisers and didn't drop him in it. I did see him about 6 weeks later at another 36holer, when I asked his playing partners what they thought of him one of the guys said "he'd be a lovely fella if he wasn't so full of crap" Seems some people just BS about anything and everything instead of being themselves

Mav, how come you're not moderator blue anymore?

Same reason as I'm not

What's the reason Davie? I did post somewhere a couple of weeks back asking you the same but you never replied

So is Navy the only 'golf based' mod we're left with?

Perhaps the admin team would be better commenting on that

a guy in my club off 15 handicap banged on about how he held the course record at a club in dublin (cant remember the course)- he failed to mention that he was of course referring to the NETT course record (something i think should not exist as an aside). But i think he had convinced himself that it was actually the course record!!!

Jeff I don’t think you should belittle the achievement of holding the net course record. It means he is the biggest bandit the club has ever seen!

The net course record obviously doesnt mean a thing or exist.

Do you know the net course record at your course.

And in reply to .

"Jeff I don’t think you should belittle the achievement of holding the net course record. It means he is the biggest bandit the club has ever seen!"

the biggest bandit would never put in a lowest ever nett score- they need there handicaps high for obvious reasons- a good bandit will only ever do enough and be a very good match play/money/swindle player as a result!!

I've never heard of anywhere having a net score record?!

Must say never in my life have I heard of a nett course record, clearly the guy Jeff played with is a complete plum.

Aside from that JeffKenna formerly blackburn and more importantly a mighty Saints player

Maverick wrote: clearly the guy Jeff played with is a complete plum.

Indeed Maverick- he also proceeded to tell me (a fairly accomplished 4-5 handicap for the last 8 years) what i was doing wrong!! needless to say I avoid him on the timesheet.

What is it with some people? I was drawn with a guy in a society day this summer who was playing off 23 and it soon became obvious that was far too generous.

I was getting a bit hacked off as we started the back nine and he had been scoring a comfortable 3 points on most holes. On the 13th tee as he hit another long, straight drive he announced to me "I used to play off the same handicap as you"...I play off single figures.

I'm afraid to say that something inside me just snapped...not normally an aggressive person I marched up to him and barked in his face "what the f**k are you doing playing off 23 then?"

"I've had a bit of a bad back" came the rather weak reply.

I was immediately embarrassed at my outburst and there was not much conversation for the rest of the round. Then after a while I thought to hell with it, if you once played off single figures pride alone should stop you accepting a 23 handicap until old age sets in...

i am sorry but you cant go from single to 23, the guy was a wrongon

We have a guy at my club that joined beginning of this year, plays off 16. He's had a cracking season with a series of wins/high placings in medals and drawn competitions. He has won several hundred pounds worth of pro shop vouchers and sweep money as a result.

Turns out when he joined, he 'forgot' to mention he had been a member elsewhere and submitted 3 new cards for a handicap. Played off 9 at his previous club.

I try not to let things like that wind me up, just concentrate on my own game and handicap but what he has done basically amounts to legalised theft.

Disgraceful behaviour. He should be hauled in front of the club committee, waterboarded, then banned from the club for life.

If there's one thing that annoys me more than hackers who take AGES lining up putts, it's hackers who somehow manage to magically produce 45-50 point stableford rounds.

I get invited to quite a lot of corporate golf days, and there's always someone who supposedly hasn't played much, plays off a high handicap, wins, then lets slip that they used to play a lot more.

At least heckling and booing them when they pick up their prizes softens the blow for the more honest amongst us.

i came back to my club after a 4 year break this summer- i was of 7 before- i didnt even bother putting any cards in untill the rust had settled and started back on 9, which i thought was fair.

Anyone claiming a handicap like that deserves to publically flgooged with a whip made of six inch nails I'm disgusted by people that cheat so badly, and that's what it is cheating