Modern society and rugby Union.

Modern rugby with all its complexities and the number of people involved with the game today can be compared to modern society in many ways.

Referees.
They are similar to a mother in real life. They must monitor the kids at home, ensure that they stay within the rules agreed upon by the parents of the household. Ever wondered why so many referees have those squeaky voices?

Well it is because like mothers they easily lose control of a situation at home when the kids are misbehaving. Hysterical outbursts are par for the course, and then do not forget mothers have their favourites. To their credit they try not too, but in reality we all have seen our younger siblings get away with a lot more than we did. We often feel their rulings are unfair and they always believe the favourites aren’t capable of doing something wrong.

These “angels” aren’t always very popular amongst the rest of the siblings. Ever tried to talk to your mother when she lost all patience? She simply won’t listen.

The IRB
Well they are like the fathers, they have totally forgotten they were kids once, they have no idea of what kids do in the modern era. They don’t like the new age music and are often totally electronically retarded. They want to enforce rules they have no idea of how it works in modern society, they expect you to abide by rules their ancestors thought up.

They love to give out punishment, they favour the sibling who excels in sport. They must always be seen to take the side of mothers, mothers are never wrong in their eyes. Mothers are the holy grail of the family, put on a pedestal, not to be touched and demands respect even if they are abusive or unfit. Fathers are blinded by their “beauty”. They are oblivious to their flawes.

The Sponsors.
They are akin to that rich uncle you have in the family, have no kids of their own and have often never been married. You see them with a different girl friend every other year. They love to show how much money they have, drive around in flashy cars and often have their names inscribed on their number plates or some old cliché. “I did it”, “I am the world”, Me, myself and I”. They have big corporate jobs and love to brag. If you disagree with them they will rather splash their money at your other siblings because you disappointed them.

The coach.
Most likely your eldest sibling, been there, done that. But beware there are two types of older siblings. The one has really not done anything but acts as if he knows everything, has an attitude and often will say “It is my way or the highway”.

The preferred older sibling is the one that actually cares, has been there and done that. Will always have sound advice of how to handle mother, father and how to approach any problem.

The players.
There are a number of different siblings in any household. Those that are the stars, the ones who turn anything they touch to gold. They usually get all the attention and are often the favourites. They tend to get away with murder.

Then there are the bullies, they don’t necessarily bully all the time, but once or twice are enough to have them being singled out every time there is a fight. They will be deemed guilty by virtue of being in close proximity.

You also have the instigators. They will often “challenge” you to do something you may not, they could also be the ones who will look for trouble with the neighbour’s kids and then run away, and let’s the bully get in trouble.

You can always see the emo kid from a distance. They would be broody and quiet. They often have a bit of an inferiority complex. You need to tell them how good they are every morning before school.

There is also the dependable kid. He will do the hard work. Clean the pool, mow the lawn, most likely have a paper rout to earn extra money.

Lastly, but not least. The intelligent one. The one that gives advice, makes decisions and generally will be the leader of the clan. Siblings will listen to him as he is a natural born leader.

Supporters.
Usually the neighbour's smaller kids. They will have a hero worship for the sibling who excels in sport. They often become irritatingly obsessed and refuse to see anything negative about their hero. They will defend their hero with vigor, even if he is wrong. They seldom become disillusioned about their hero and only when they grow up and mature a little, do they realise he was just another guy. Only then can they remember with fondness of the times they acted foolish in defending their hero.

So there you have it, modern society and the sport of rugby union.

Very good, biltong, a ring of truth about the whole analogy

Brilliant.

Flipping heck

Aren't the IRB the two year olds who keep taking a poop on the sofa

What about when the kids grow up Biltong?

When I grew up I told my ma she was bang out of order for whacking me with her shoes at the drop of a hat and my dad was just as guilty for letting her.

Boy, was that a family barney, I wonder whether "the kids" will get their opportunity?

It's a great piece bud, you could go on to say that currently, the parents do what they do purely for the good of the children, but don't seem interested in the kids opinions on the subject....

Good work fella

well done mate- none of the above rings true for me= i suppose bar the mother- but it all makes sense. good piece

PJHolybloke wrote:What about when the kids grow up Biltong?

When I grew up I told my ma she was bang out of order for whacking me with her shoes at the drop of a hat and my dad was just as guilty for letting her.

Boy, was that a family barney, I wonder whether "the kids" will get their opportunity?

It's a great piece bud, you could go on to say that currently, the parents do what they do purely for the good of the children, but don't seem interested in the kids opinions on the subject....

Good work fella

PJ, that is when all these controversial Autobiographies see the light.

In them you can embaress the establishment and tell tales of epic proportions.

You missed out the media mate. These are the useless people at work ccing everyone in the office to make them think they´re doing something of any use. They pander to popular opinion and sling mud at people they want to see fail and prop us those who serve their interests.

Yeah, i realised that after i placed the article. too late now I am afraid.

Excellent Bek, fantastic creative analogy.

Apart from not being nice enough about Jonny Wilkinson (from whose rear parts the sun shineth) a well observed and humourous article.

(from the squeaky little one next door)

Cowshot wrote:Apart from not being nice enough about Jonny Wilkinson (from whose rear parts the sun shineth) a well observed and humourous article.

(from the squeaky little one next door)

But on the contrary Cowshot, I did mention him. "Those that are the stars, the ones who turn anything they touch to gold. They usually get all the attention and are often the favourites."

I had him in mind when I wrote that, honest.

You didn't use the word "god"

ok, ok, I'll stop now.

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:What about when the kids grow up Biltong?

When I grew up I told my ma she was bang out of order for whacking me with her shoes at the drop of a hat and my dad was just as guilty for letting her.

Boy, was that a family barney, I wonder whether "the kids" will get their opportunity?

It's a great piece bud, you could go on to say that currently, the parents do what they do purely for the good of the children, but don't seem interested in the kids opinions on the subject....

Good work fella

PJ, that is when all these controversial Autobiographies see the light.

In them you can embaress the establishment and tell tales of epic proportions.

Yep, that works in every aspect mate, seriously well thought out. Did you find it cathartic in any way?

No mate, not really. It was more of an epiphony than anything else. I was actually reading something this morning (can't remember what it was) but it just inspired me ; )

Well, in the absence of anything else, thanks for taking the time and for helping me put our beautiful game into some sort of perspective - blame the feckin parents!

BB is their a place for the family pup?

Gatts wrote:BB is their a place for the family pup?

The one who runs in and shoites all over the place but gets all the attention? Take a bow scrum-halfs.

Yeah Gatts, he is the guy playing fetch with the kicking tee, as he would bring you the newspaper or play fetch

biltongbek wrote:Yeah Gatts, he is the guy playing fetch with the kicking tee, as he would bring you the newspaper or play fetch

Great work Biltong.

And the Assistant Refs, are those kids who cant quite make into the party and sit on the outside, looking sadly through the window, being ignored by the birthday boy with the party whistle.

Its so sad...

Gibson wrote:Great work Biltong.

And the Assistant Refs, are those kids who cant quite make into the party and sit on the outside, looking sadly through the window, being ignored by the birthday boy with the party whistle.

Its so sad...

So sad I think I just let a bit of pish out laughing.....

Does that make me a bad person?

No just a slightly damp one

In actual fact gibbo, the assistant referees are those ex wives, and the worst kind. They are envious of the new wife and tries to get her into trouble by making the wrong call/accusations in hop that you would leave her and they can get another shot. For practical purposes I just call them Lawrence

biltongbek wrote:In actual fact gibbo, the assistant referees are those ex wives, and the worst kind. They are envious of the new wife and tries to get her into trouble by making the wrong call/accusations in hop that you would leave her and they can get another shot. For practical purposes I just call them Lawrence

Glad to see you've got over that one then Biltong

Yeah and it isn't Lawrence of Arabia either

Just Lawrence from New Zealand

Arabia's nice at this time of year though, maybe SARFU could have a whip round and send him on a holiday, have his hands pruned for theft while he's there?

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:In actual fact gibbo, the assistant referees are those ex wives, and the worst kind. They are envious of the new wife and tries to get her into trouble by making the wrong call/accusations in hop that you would leave her and they can get another shot. For practical purposes I just call them Lawrence

Glad to see you've got over that one then Biltong

ongoing therapy PJ, ongoing therapy

Would the adopted kids be the poached- from- Pacific- Islands players?

PJHolybloke wrote:Arabia's nice at this time of year though, maybe SARFU could have a whip round and send him on a holiday, have his hands pruned for theft while he's there?

no mate I am not going to give up the satisfaction of slowly dissecting him to some Arabian with a sharp instrument. He deserves better than that.

First I will take his guide dog away. Then let him wonder around on a busy highway whilst people driving past can flog him with a wet piece of leather dipped in course salt.

After a few days we will proceed with interrigation. Samuel L Jackson style

Whoa! I'm feeling the vengeance Biltong, feelin the vengeance...

"Say what again...."

Gatts wrote:Would the adopted kids be the poached- from- Pacific- Islands players?

James Haskell is definitely a care in the community project, gone wrong.

Gatts wrote:Would the adopted kids be the poached- from- Pacific- Islands players?

now you are getting the idea

England would be the ASBO neighbours, tossing dwarves over your fence, tampering with your dog's balls and bringing home random blondes for loud relations in the garden

Yeah? Well Wales would be the good-looking young dude who just moved in on the end with his drophead SLK, so there.

Hang on....

....this is a carp game.

PJHolybloke wrote:Yeah? Well Wales would be the good-looking young dude who just moved in on the end with his drophead SLK, so there.

Hang on....

With all the dwarves flying around, the neighbour with the Slk, there should be plenty young referees around, hopefully one of them will take my son under their wing for some one on one sessions

biltongbek wrote:With all the dwarves flying around, the neighbour with the Slk, there should be plenty young referees around, hopefully one of them will take my son under their wing for some one on one sessions

.

Down our fictictitious street there's a big family that are rock-hard and actually have three houses between them, one of the households has just fell out with the other two for consistently telling them how it is, the other two didn't like being told how it is and decided to set the other one's garage on fire.....

Gatts wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:Yeah? Well Wales would be the good-looking young dude who just moved in on the end with his drophead SLK, so there.

Hang on....

Credit where it's due man.

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:With all the dwarves flying around, the neighbour with the Slk, there should be plenty young referees around, hopefully one of them will take my son under their wing for some one on one sessions

.

Down our fictictitious street there's a big family that are rock-hard and actually have three houses between them, one of the households has just fell out with the other two for consistently telling them how it is, the other two didn't like being told how it is and decided to set the other one's garage on fire.....

tell me more?

Those merged-houses and errant families sound like a microcosm soap-opera for the Planet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=xNnAvTTaJjM

biltongbek wrote:

PJHolybloke wrote:

biltongbek wrote:With all the dwarves flying around, the neighbour with the Slk, there should be plenty young referees around, hopefully one of them will take my son under their wing for some one on one sessions

.

Down our fictictitious street there's a big family that are rock-hard and actually have three houses between them, one of the households has just fell out with the other two for consistently telling them how it is, the other two didn't like being told how it is and decided to set the other one's garage on fire.....

tell me more?

Well, it's like this (let's just call them house A, B & C) house C has a lot of people living in it and they all contribute to running their house but also help out with the general bills in houses A & B as they're all part of the same family and they like to help because they can. Houses A & B are a bit closer to each other in terms of family as they are brother and sister where as the family in house C is just a cousin.

Houses A & B have family members that are quite successful, but there aren't as many members contributing to the cost of running their homes which is why they rely on contributions from house C.

Just recently houses B & C had a row and in order to mediate in the row house A sent in an impartial family member to try and sort things out amicably, as it turns out the person they sent wasn't very impartial at all and ended up shoiting through the letterbox of house C and burning down their garage whilst houses A & B had a private party all to themselves.

I'm not sure how it's all going to end up, but I think house C may stop contributing so freely to the other two, especially as they now have some back-up from some cousins on their mothers side that have just moved into the street.....

You're in house A, the impartial rellie PJ!

Getting interesting, tell me more about the cousin who moved in?

Wow. I didnt realise the new 606 site was also a community affairs advice bureau

So far house A's mother has confessed the she works at the House of the rising sun

DOD wrote:Wow. I didnt realise the new 606 site was also a community affairs advice bureau

well communities are very important these days.

biltongbek wrote:Getting interesting, tell me more about the cousin who moved in?

Well the way I see it is that although house D is only a cousin on the mother-in-laws side, a cousin is a cousin.

House D will probably like the parties thrown at house A because they usually have plenty of A-list celebrities at them, the parties at house B are OK but generally not well attended, the parties at house C are massive affairs and in terms of the financial benefits from social networking, by far and away the best parties on the street.

House D don't have any real successful members, but I think they are natural social climbers with a hunger for advancement and, like House C, there are plenty of them, I can see close ties coming between houses C & D that will change the dynamics down that end of the street for some time to come.