Interview questions

At Mr McLaren's suggestion, here's a selection of transcribed questions which an esteemed golf journalist suggests might be put to figures in the pro game, following on from "Kellygate" (or "Everygate" depending on your point of view):

"Dustin (Johnson), let's talk about your two arrests for driving while under the influence of alcohol. Were you a bit of a punk back then?"

"Thanks for sitting down with us, Bubba. Now, can you name the capital of France?"

"OK Nick (Faldo), you were quick to say that Mr Every should seek 'PR advice'... Did you ever do the same yourself...?"

Various others in the article, covering a wide range of subjects (spitting, slow play, cheating, ego, infidelity, choking etc) and some perhaps obvious targets (Daly, Finchem, Steve Williams)...

I would ask Poulter "Don't you have any mirrors in your room to look at before you go out dressed like that?"

So Mr Doak,
Tell me what do you know about building golf courses?

Doon,

Thankfully he knows a lot, hence the quality of his courses.



I would ask Tiger if he still plays with action man toys? Especially the navy seal version.

As an aside, do people in the military tend to play with those sort of toys?

a few more;

Ask monty if he really did cheat in Jakarta? (a Similar question to Vijay)

Ask darren clarke if his open win was a fluke?

Mr Fowler -'When were you first aware you were colourblind'
Mr Bradley -'could you give us a call when you have played the shot'

Mr Mickelson: Are do you feel about your fellow pros calling you FIGJAM?

Is FIGJAM not a little convoluted and contrived to really be considered a witty reference to anyone?

Mr Vardon.
Do you think that your new fangled grip will catch on or do you think that it another of those one month wonders?

Mr Player.
Do you really believe that our fibre glass shafts give you greater control?

"I'm delighted to be joined today by one of the rising stars of the game, Seung-Yul Noh. With such a wonderful name, you must be a demon karaoke performer?"

Skydriver wrote:"I'm delighted to be joined today by one of the rising stars of the game, Seung-Yul Noh. With such a wonderful name, you must be a demon karaoke performer?"

That is superb!

Monty, Why so smug?

Miguel, are you not a little old for the long hair?

Doon

What someone really ought to ask player is;

So who are the drug cheats in golf Mr Player?


If this were old school 606 this post would last about 10 seconds.

Red jacketed Convener of the Greens to peasant caddie.

Tell me my good man why on earth do you think it would be a good idea to make it a four inch drainpipe and not a six inch one.

[That may be lost in history to a few]

So Bruce Critchley, when did you realise you would never be a commentator?

To the idiot who always shouts "you are the man" and "get into the hole", How long ago was it since you had your lobotomy? I would not expect him to understand the question though.

"Mr Carter, as much as we enjoy reading them, would you care to tell us how many times you have been compelled to correct your articles in light of comments from a chap in Vermont? Does that make you feel a bit foolish at all?"

lorus59 wrote:I would ask Poulter "Don't you have any mirrors in your room to look at before you go out dressed like that?"

replace poulter with fowler and you may have a point

Sky

If only carter did just plagiarise kwini, at least then the readers of the bbc golf site would have something worthwhile to read.


I get the feeling bith fowler and poulter have many a look in a mirror before they hit the course.

Another question for fowler might be to explain his moustache. What is going on with that?

I like poulters style, that clash from fowler last night - jeas!! to much for me!

Yes. I agree about Flowler. I remember a quote about the Celtic player Henrik Larrson when he had dreadlocks and wore a headband, "If you are a footballer wearing a headband in that part of Glasgow, you better be a good player". I think Fowler hasn't been good enough yet to dress like a Tinkywinky and get away with it.

To Faldo (sir nick)
"So who told you, to become a Ryder Cup Captain??"

abit strong that one- at least he stuck to his guns with his wild cards

True, and he also got his "sandwhich list" right

"So Tiger, what would you like to talk about???"

Here's how not to do an interview.

http://www.golfdigest.com/golf-tours-news/2011-04/photos-regrettable-interviews#slide=1

Actually if more interviews turned out like those following golf may be a little more interesting.

At the risk of hijacking a thread which I (sort of) started, I noted with interest an exchange along the following lines yesterday:

Q: How does it feel to be the new world #1?
A: It's great, but winning this tournament is the important thing right now. On behalf of all the players, I'd like to thank the Nicklaus family and the tournament sponsors and organisers [etc etc]...

More evidence on and off the course that Mr McIlroy has greatly matured in the past year.

Doon the Water wrote:So Mr Doak,
Tell me what do you know about building golf courses?

great

Skydriver wrote:At the risk of hijacking a thread which I (sort of) started, I noted with interest an exchange along the following lines yesterday:

Q: How does it feel to be the new world #1?
A: It's great, but winning this tournament is the important thing right now. On behalf of all the players, I'd like to thank the Nicklaus family and the tournament sponsors and organisers [etc etc]...

More evidence on and off the course that Mr McIlroy has greatly matured in the past year.

wonder if this is the conor ridge effect. he never said anything that humble when Chubster was his manager

id rather have honest and forthright than humble and dull (read robotic)

he will be thanking god next and that will urine of half of his oirish fanbase

This thanking everyone is so 'have a nice day' American. Totally insincere but they seem to lap it up.

"So Howard Clark, when you commentate on sky why is there a delay of 2 seconds between your mouth and your brain and why is your mouth connected to another part of your body instead?"

Sorry. A little pet hate there.

"Tiger, do you agree Rory has a better swing, is a nicer bloke and is much better liked by fans than yourself? Looking back at your career could you not have achieved the same goals but done it with a little more class?"

"Mr Finchem, how does it feel watching so many European golfers at the top of the World Rankings, coming across to your Tour and playing the minimum number of tournaments but taking more than their share of wins and big checks. Do you enjoy glad handing Rory and Lee and their management teams? And lastly, what percentage of US Tour players will be Amercian in 10 years time once the second wave of Koreans and Chinese players join the Europeans on your tour?"

To Monty -
Can you please explain how someone quite so fat and ugly has such a high opinion of themselves. Oh, and why did you move your ball in the bunker that time ?

Monty- what bra size are you?

Tiger- do the seals recruit injured 38 year olds?

Casey- are you gonna buy your caddy a car?

Poulter- was it worth not getting the sponsership money on your attire consdring your clothes company has a poor credit rating?

Bradley- What made you think your ball plugged in the final round of doral?

Singh- Are you a james bond villian?

Bubba- Can you hit the ball straight?

Folwer- why orange?

Garcia- Have you seen tin cup to many times?

lorus59 wrote:This thanking everyone is so 'have a nice day' American. Totally insincere but they seem to lap it up.

Makes me think that there are quite a few standard interview answers used out there:

"Appreciate it." [used as a sign-off, similar to above]

"... fantastic..." [McIlroy seems to say this word a lot]

"... tough..." [ditto McDowell]

"It is what it is." [universal answer to just about any question - how's your swing / leg / marriage?]

McIlroy also starts almost every answer with "Yeah". Better than Rooney's "em"s.

Gerrard and Terry are perhaps the worst interviewees I have heard whilst harry redknapp should be limited to the amount of times he can say 'triffic' or 'smashing player'

S-R,

The Rednapps (father and son) do my head in with the use of "them" as opposed to "those". Savage on radio 5 is as bad. "Them are the breaks in football" or "Them players playered 'triffic' today."

Super

Is there anything in this world that you like or think positively about?

Why have we never heard you comment on something you actually like?

I like Trumps new course Mac.

Mysti,
Yeah, Bradley trying to get releif on Sunday was pretty pathetic to watch. Doesn't help his doubious image imo.

"Ernie, what happened after that drive at the 18th hole?"

Bad idea, bub.

Mr.Overton, When do you plan to become a European Tour member?

kwinigolfer wrote:Mr.Overton, When do you plan to become a European Tour member?

Well, if he hurries, he can start out with the Saint-Omer Open - and then he can backpack around France with his Boom-boom-baby-friend Bubba until the French Open (where I'm sure Bubba will play..)

A question to all the sycophants on American TV "Why do you always call Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer as 'Mr'?" Drives me nuts.

To Kelly Tilghman (or however she spells it)

"So Kelly could you tell us why you always get a wide-on when Woods is on TV, is it because you wished you were a waitress instead of a urine poor presenter"

It would be nice to hear an interviewer simply ask any player: "Have you got anything interesting to say?"