Ladies and Gents I give You Djoker the GTTOAT

After countless hours of contemplation, meditation, observation and repudiation, I have come up with overwhelming and ground-breaking evidence that Novak Djokovic is the GTTOAT of all time.

Warning: Please use polarized sunglasses while reading this article to withstand the lager-logic beams of every sentence. The author is not responsible for injury sustained while reading this article, either mental or physical .

Note: GTTOAT is not a typo, see the bottom of the article for more on that.

Without further delay, here are the reasons why NOVAK is the GTTOAT:

1) THE EYES: The guy is naturally impaired when it comes to sight and relies on contact lenses. Otherwise he would think its Stefler from American Pie instead of Roddick on the other side of net and lose the match laughing his bottom off just like Roger laughs his bottom off every time the real A-Rod appears on the other side of net. Novak has thus overcome a grave disadvantage and is the only real tennis talent out there.

2) THE LUNGS: Poor guy has the lungs of asthma stricken 65 year old granny. Had it not been for technology, he would need 2 other guy's with Nadal's Biceps running around the court with him carrying oxygen cylinders the size of Del-Potro just to help him breathe, especially in matches against that ugly Mallorcan Marauder. Only a guy with his talent could overcome this hardship.

3)THE HAIR: No disrespect but I have seen Wild Baboons in Angola with a better hair-do. Only Novak could overcome such hardships. He is the only tennis talent.

I know the debate is incomplete without (dis)honorable mention to Fedal. Here is why Nadal does not qualify:

1) The Hair: I think the term balding talent is morally wrong. I rest my case as far as hair goes.

2) The BICEPS AND LEGS: He is lucky that Hulk Hogan and Mike Tyson are not into tennis. Otherwise he would be working as a waiter in Mallorcan restaurants selling martini.

3) INTERVIEWS: How can a guy be called a tennis talent when his English is worse than the Chinese President Whoz seen Tao?

4) OTHERS: It has been rumored across tennis circles that some dark forces transcending physical realities took him to plant EVIL during the month of Feburuary 2012. He is known to have done a blood and knee transfusion in Dr. Evil's clinic who replaced his normal blood with superman steroid potion that cannot be detected by routine blood tests. If you don't believe me just observe how annoyed he gets over testing. That is not talent. Its cheating.

Finally, Federer:

1) The ARMS: The guy's arms are too skinny. So his hands move too quick. No talent there. All this talk of how he takes the ball early is hogwash. Don't believe me? Ok fine.

2) The SWEAT: The guy looks like he just walked out of a a week long vacation after 5 hours of grueling marathons. Hes a freak of nature. To be precise, his sweat glands are a freak of nature. That has nothing to do with tennis talent.

3) The HAIR: Rumors are amok that he will do an Agassi in his memoirs and reveal that he stitched his hair with the 99 cents paper clips from dollar store with Mirka's help. If you call that talent then I say to each his own.

Finally: The first poster who can solve what GTOAAT stands for will win the coveted membership to "Nadal has ruined tennis for self proclaimed tennis connoisseur club". In case of multiple winners, no one will get a prize.

10IS wrote:GTTOAT of all time.

The 'AT' is for 'All Time'. Is the second one for emphasis?

Good attempt.

Is he the Gothic Tee Totaller Of Arabian Turtles?

Greatest tennis talent of all time (assuming this wasn't sarcasm)!

JHM: Like your answer. Its creative but incorrect. Still I will recommend your name for one year worth of free hair cut with Djoker's stylist.


Tennisanorak: You are the winner. Welcome to the club and if you wish you may request a monthly free home delivery of a bowl Nadal's potion from evil planet.

Honorable mention: Laverfan for being the remaining participant/poster on my thread. Lots of thank yous. will recommend your name for any leftover prizes