Smile

What is the best thing about golf ? - something that always makes you

I really smile when a playing partner knocks in a putt from long range - especially if said player is a higher handicapper who might only make such a putt as a rarety. Great to see the joy in their faces!!!

The best about golf is collecting the money of my playing partners in the bar

Holing out from a bunker gives me an ear to ear.

The sound of your playing partners trousers seam tearing when he crouches down behind a putt makes it difficult to keep a straight face.

It's that moment when, after a hooked drive and a fatted second shot, that you thin a chip that just about breaks the pin in two but somehow drops in. The grin gets wider as your opponent (having hit a perfect drive and crisp iron to the centre of the green) sees his putt for a half lip out.

George1507 wrote:It's that moment when, after a hooked drive and a fatted second shot, that you thin a chip that just about breaks the pin in two but somehow drops in. The grin gets wider as your opponent (having hit a perfect drive and crisp iron to the centre of the green) sees his putt for a half lip out.

^^^ This would definitely call for a smile I have to admit. A flushed long iron always makes me want to smile as well.

Those bad days where nothing goes right do entertain me.

Granted it's better when other people have them in my four ball (which I admit is a tad naughty of me) but i do also have a chuckle at myself when it's me (which I think makes up for it somewhat).

One example was me playing a par 3. J Arthur off the tee onto the adjacent fairway. J Arthur 2 missing green right by some way. J Arthur 3 missing green right again and for good measure number four in a row to ensure that I had pretty much done a lap of the green without going near it. Purest hosel striker in the club. I think that might have been a lap of 92 (short par 70 course and handicap of 6 at the time).

The other one that springs to mind is on one of our trips we played Santa Maria in Spain. First tee boxes, raised, 150 yard ish carry over a lake below. Someone in the party decided to impersonate the European Tour tee announcer (Ivor Robson?) to start us off "On tee, Fuzzy John" practice swing, practice swing, align, wiggle, swing, skim - top it 3 inches in front. "Still on tee, Fuzzy John" same routine again, top 10 - 15 yards. "On ladies tee, Fuzzy John" same routine, big duff 60 yards - splash "In the lake, Fuzzy John!"

It always makes me smile on the holes I decide to hack it along taking 7 to get to the green then somehow one putt from 30 feet.

You've probably seen them, but these golf axioms are funny.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you are afraid a full shot might reach the green while the group ahead are still putting, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

It's surprisingly easy to sink a 50 foot putt when you are lying 8.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

It's not a gimme putt if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the largest tree in the county.

There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces just the way you intended to play it.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time and a 2-inch branch on a tree 90% of the time.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie he must subsequently make three triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods try to hit just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example, backswing 20 miles per hour, handicap, 20, downswing 400 m.p.h.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which hand is wearing the golf glove.

Hazards attract; Fairways repel.

You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.

If both balls are in the sand, yours is the one in the footprint.

Never buy a putter until you have had a chance to throw it.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.

George1507 wrote:
There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which hand is wearing the golf glove.

What doesn't make me smile is that this thread has resulted in Lilly Allen's smile getting stuck in my head now.


What does make me smile is when the natural world around the course is so stunning it makes you take a moment out of the game just to enjoy your surroundings. It could be a wonderful sunset, a wild animal or just some jaw dropping natural landscapes. Or indeed the view over the new/jubilee/old course back to the town of st andrews.

Some very good ones there George.

I start smiling when I put my clubs in the car, turn the key in the ignition and head for the course.
I stop smiling sometime after I return home (nothing to do with being at home, just the stepping back in to daily reality), preferably following some "adult beverages" and something decent to eat.
Smile only replaced by scowls in the event of a speeding ticket, slow play, a shank or skunk beer.

Good work George - quite a few that are new to me.

"If you are afraid a full shot might reach the green while the group ahead are still putting, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there."

So, so true.

Roller_Coaster wrote:Good work George - quite a few that are new to me.

"If you are afraid a full shot might reach the green while the group ahead are still putting, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there."

So, so true.

Yeah very much so... Did exactly that on Sunday in a competition... Good drive at a tightish par 5 leaving me with only a 4 iron or so to the green.... Wait and Wait and wait...

Top it about 25 yards into heavy rough which means I have to chip out, miss green with 4th and then chip and 2 putts.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH...

Ouch

Guaranteed on one of our par 5s. If I hit a monster drive downdraft it can leave a mere 5 or 6 iron in (hole is 540 ish usually into the prevailing which is usually drive, 3 wood and flicked lobber on one of the rare occasions I visit the fairway). Top (arrow straight mind) but only about 40 yards.

The other guarantee is anyone saying "you can get there in 2 today" before the drive on any par 5 anywhere!

Hit my 2-iron four times off the tee and once off the fairway on Saturday and flushed it miles and dead straight every time - a rare feeling of standing over the ball and knowing I was going to put a good swing on it .
Now, if I can just remember what I was thinking....

Hitting my new 3 wood 280-290 almost everytime, past most peoples drive and more importantly right down the middle.
That makes me smile.

Watching a guy who thinks golf is all about big hitting going OOB for the third time in a round.

When getting called through and making birdie right in front of them.

Seeing an attractive lady member on the course always makes me smile.

EmmDee57 wrote:Seeing an attractive lady member on the course always makes me smile.

rare as rocking horse Poopie.

I always smile when people make outlandish claims about the distances they can hit, such as; hitting a 3 wood 290 yards.

EmmDee57 wrote:Seeing an attractive lady member on the course always makes me smile.

We are talking about Golf here

S_R I think you've got a bite - reel him in.

McLaren wrote:I always smile when people make outlandish claims about the distances they can hit, such as; hitting a 3 wood 290 yards.

Mac, I absolutely kid you not. I have measured scores of 3 woods over the last six weeks with it. I'm happy to demonstrate it to you if you weren't such a peevish jew who never pays to get on a golf course. Even a poor hit goes 260.

It goes miles further than my driver, which is now relegated. I feel fortunate to have stumbled upon a club which is absolutely a perfect fit for me in every respect. Just goes to show what can be done with gear that suits you.

Just a shame about the Muppet name eh, Super

yes, terrible name Grumpy, should be called the Taylor Made Redneck

Bet you've got a special headcover to try and hide it from view

Not yet, but I will do , it doesn't match my bag right now.

For me it's that we'll executed shot, especially a pressure one.there have been several this trip. Probably the biggest smile came from putting my drive to 8 feet on the 6th at Kingsbarns Sat (3wood territory for Super!!)....oh & yeah....I missed the eagle putt:(

Booming a straight one off the first tee with a watching gallery always brings a relieved smile too but my favourite is pulling of the "wtf" shot...the drop & stop shot out the trees over a bunker to stone dead.

Jas, that's a rescue on the 6th. Did through same last time I played it. 3 putted from 8 feet. Felt like a quadruple.

: Cut 0.5 () after a 71 (and CSS actually went up for once to 72!) last Saturday in the medal.

: Came second after someone topped me with a 70-65 to my 71-67 .

Well done NBS, so what you off now?

3.1. Started the year at 3.3 and have crept up all year - not played that well and driving pretty unreliable. Two simple little things a couple of weeks ago has improved driving and irons massively. Chipping has suddenly improved as well although I'm not sure what that's about!

Losing the shot off my playing HCP is a bit of a pain in the @rse though with a singles matchplay final coming up .

Good work NBS, that's a big cut in one go for cat 1.

See the CSS went your way this week, was the opposite for me. Was 4.6 on Saturday, shot net -3 expecting to come down 0.2 (CSS usually -1) and get to 4 for the first time. No. CSS-2, stranded on 4.5 with the annual hollow coring due this week. Gutted.

Cheers Coaster.
Your experience sounds irritating but all too typical. We had our greens done ~3-4 weeks back and they're just about back to being reasonable now.
I hate the CSS - our medal last Saturday is the first time I can ever remember it going up. It often goes down however. Was a bit weird to be fair - no-one in Div 2 or 3 beat a net 70 whereas there were a number in Div 1.
Don't know about the rest of you lot but our course has been playing tough this year - particularly bad heavy rough and the 2nd cut (~8-10 feet off fairway) is cut at ~3", looks and behaves like bristles and a ball finishing in it always settles right down. Nasty.

Navy

Got to agree with you on the rough this year, no matter where you play it seems bloody hellish.

"members bounces" and birdies make me smile. Doesn't happen too often...

Think our greens might be too late this year for speedy recovery, we missed our annual week of warmth.

Pedro - bet the same comment could also go into a "hates/anger" thread, if it was your matchplay opponent! nothing quite like watching someone thin their approach into a bank and bounce to a couple of feet to cat calls of "I meant that".

"Shot" (or something close to it anyway!)