PGA Tour: Thanksgiving and Turkeys: Notes from the Ballwasher

It's that time of year again, when every American's mind turns to "Turkey Day" this Thursday, and every British ex-pat from Albert Road in Southsea (Ok, me) wonders how he can discretely disappear for four hours and watch Tottenham and Liverpool on the Fox Soccer Channel.
Thanksgiving is America's family day, when relatives who wouldn't be seen dead in one another's company gather together to gorge themselves silly on food they wouldn't dream of eating the rest of the year. Inevitably there's an overcooked turkey at the centre of affairs with all sorts of other gubbins garnishing it in an antiseptic sort of way. Sort of a poor man's version of what we used to have at Christmas. Even have to make my own bread sauce.
'Course, I also miss my mum rushing out from our tenement building to buy onions from the bloke selling 'em strung over the handlebars of his bike, all the while dodging trolley-buses. It's not that I'm old, but now there's a popular Tenement Museum in Manhattan!

So, in the absence of much proper golf news this week, I'll offer five votes of Thanks, and five skewers of Turkeys from the season just past:

1).Thanks to Luke Donald and Sergio for beating Stricker and Woods on Saturday afternoon of the Ryder Cup, launching the comeback that made Sunday's victory possible. And subsequent thanks to Rors and Poults, Luke, Poults and Rors again, plus Justin Rose and Paul Lawrie who, collectively, strung out seven straight European points.

2).Lots of blame applied to the US Ryder Cup Team, but the frat boys' ra-ra, usa, usa of Saturday and Friday came up way short on Sunday, making Turkeys of Bubba, Webby, Keegs, Phil and Sneds. Well and truly stuffed.

3).Shot of the year: And giving Thanks again to Luke Donald, on the 17th hole of that same Saturday better-ball match with Sergio vs Stricker and Woods. You remember the sequence:
Stricker in trouble, Tiger hits a wonderful shot - six feet?, the crowd go wild.
Solid shot from Sergio, 18 feet, above the hole, leaving a tricky birdie putt but an almost certain par.
Then Luke stiffs his mid-iron to two feet.
Tiger holes his putt, but Lukey tapped in and, with Sergio's hole-tying par on 18, Europe clinched a win which gave us all hope.

4).More Ryder Cup Turkeys?
How about ESPN's writers:
"Europeans barely live to play again"
"Hand the US the Cup"
And, from the nauseatingly smarmy Rick Reilly: "How U.S. wins"

5).Cheating here but how can we not give Thanks to The Mechanic, for reminding us that the secret to good golf may not be all gym work-outs, swing coaches and bible-study?
"This is maybe the olive oil in my joints, and the nice Rioja wine and those things keep you fit and flexible."
Thanks Miguel, a lesson to us all.

6).Ten Turkeys to Tour veterans who have just completed a season to forget, summed up in their owgr ranking from Jan 1st and Nov 19th:
Jason Day: From 8th to 34th
KJ Choi: 15th to 46th
Paul Casey: 20th to 115th
Alvaro Quiros: 22nd to 79th
Robbie Karlsson: 24th to 105th
K-t Kim: 25th to 73rd (and unable to advance from Tour Q-School)
Y.E.Yang: 45th to 89th
Darren Clarke: 48th to 138th
Gary Woodland: 52nd to 128th
Robert Allenby: 59th to 175th

7).Thanks to a breath of fresh air blowing in from Sweden, Jonas Blixt. With galleries like his, one can only hope for several multiple-win seasons.

8).Turkeys for some unimaginably bad stat's:
Greens in regulation:
Westwood: 3rd, but 175th in "strokes gained putting", 191st (of 191) in scrambling
Villegas: 4th, 164th in putting, 151st in both scrambling AND sand saves.
Weekley: 5th, 190th (of 191) in putting, 168th in scrambling

9).Thanks to all the PGA Tour pros we've enjoyed following over the past year, especially on a heater of a day at Hartford in June, Badds always engaging with the gallery, even Roary Sabbatini having a great time with the "patrons" as the heat (heat + humidity) index spiralled towards 110.

10).Thanks to the PGA of America for hiring that Turkey Dottie Pepper away from NBC TV. Dottie by name, dotty by nature, probably won't have to deal with those pesky foreigners over there. Perhaps you'll find jobs for fellow NBC Turkeys Rolfing and Jacobsen. Please.


. . . . and Thanks to 606v2 for making this forum available for us Turkeys to write our daily drivel.


Edit: PS: Happy Thanksgiving, no seriously!, to all our American friends . . . . . . .

kwini

Have a good day and thanks for all your updates, the best that I know of on the web.

As for the MAJ diet, I have been trying olive oil and rioja but still pretty inflexible! It does remind me of a friend phoning me during the Open asking if I was watching him warm up. He was crying with laughter telling me that it was great to see someone warming up with a great parrot hanger in his mouth but he said the best bit was watching him warm his hamstrings by hooking his 7 iron under his toe and pulling up!!

Brilliant to see him win though.

I've never really understood Thanksgiving, what's it all about?

Nice post Kwini! Have a great Thanksgiving, but what's this about an overcooked turkey? If you have enough gravy, problem solved.

Interestingly, my ex-pat friends living in the UK really miss celebrating this properly. My favorite Holiday.

Golf thanks? For me it's the Majors: Non-conventional Bubba at Augusta, Webb (who obviously didn't subscribe to the Mechanic's advice and with a FAR better result) at Olympic, Ernie bringing a smile to everyone's face and then Rory letting us all know who the real man is.

Turkey? Still give it to Chubby whose ridiculous comments about the impending demise of the US tour make him look as smart as Karl Rove.

Thanks 289,
Major Championships are all very well, but isn't it great to see an overweight 48-y-o puffing his way over the finish line?


Happy Thanksgiving Shotrock,
Understand how Americans love Thanksgiving, but it's someone else's "holiday", certainly nothing I can relate to. I always jest about celebrating Thanksgiving on the Fourth of July, makes those dreadful fireworks seem somewhat less intolerable.

But I grin and bear it, all the time wearing my sommelier's chapeau . . . . . .

And pgatour.com carries confirmation that Ishikawa, Hanson, Colsaerts, Lynn and Kaymer (hadn't seen that before) will take PGA Tour membership for 2013.

Certainly hope that Messrs Christian, Karlsson and Knox join them, and good luck to almost a dozen more Europeans opening Q-School competition next week.

Happy Thanksgiving to Americans everywhere ! This is one of my favourite holidays as we get a four day weekend out of it. Going to visit inlaws on Cape Cod, taking the clubs with us, and all we have to provide is pies and alcohol. Can't complain.

super_realist wrote:I've never really understood Thanksgiving, what's it all about?

I never understood Haggis. What it is all about?

I don't know GPB, I've never eaten it.

I have, can be delicious!!
But then I also love golumpkis!!!

haggis stuffed in a turkey is good

Haggis is lips and a$$hole warfood

Kwini - enjoy the Holidays!!!
Might I suggest something chilled (but not too cold) and white (but in reality an almost buttery yellow)! I know you are there already!
Great to see Miguel strut his stuff last week, and a welcome return for Henrik.
Thanks for the weekly 'Letter from America'

Thanks puligny, and yes I know where you're going.
Have a close relation in mind as it happens, plus an ample supply of Mr.Arlott's favourite for those so inclined.

Looking forward to a great few days in the Dubai sun for some of these guys and a win for Miguel would fit the bill.

Cheers for the regular unofficial commentary, always interesting and educational.

For shot of the year, I'd probably nominate Louis's albatross or Bubba's final approach (hooked gap wedge) from the final day of the Masters, bearing the circumstances in mind.

Thanks probably also due to Roger Chapman and Lydia Ko for creating some interesting golf stories slightly off the beaten path of the main men's tours.

Sky, those are my favourites too. Bubba's wedge comes first though.

Great shots both!
But my bias will always be a Ryder Cup over all else and that was the first "must make" shot of the comeback - the sort of in your face moment that Tiger's been famous for and probably thought he'd achieved again! And little Lukey one-upped him. Loved it.

Great shout for Chapman and Ko, Sky - what will 2013 bring for the two of them?

I bet little lukey wishes he could do it in the majors just like tiger used to.

Maybe, but in my book he did!

Mac, Only saw a few holes from Kingston Heath last week but what a wonderful course it is. Would love to play it, walk it even.
Poulter's Tweet on the subject:
"Kingston Heath is totally awesome. Someone please tell modern day architects we don't need 8,000 yard tracks, they're not enjoyable. Best yet."

Interesting comments on the later thread about Kaymer et al signing up for the PGA Tour - would think this will be the lowest the ET gets, as their players are basically being incented by Finchem's system to take a one-chance shot.

I'd say 50% of the guys who secure new cards, either via Q-School or taking up membership from money earned, will flop and be back in Europe for 2014, a la Jimenez, Hansen, Levet etc etc.

Nothing wrong with taking a chance whilst it's there, more power to them, but hopefully the ET will bounce back more strongly, preferably in Europe.

Who do you see failing next season Kwini, or do you not have anybody in mind yet. As bad as he has been i would hope Kaymer would be ok.

Kingston Heath is a great example of how to build a very interesting course on what is mostly flat land. It has subtle contours on both the fairways and green complexes, added to this is some of the best bunkering you will see anywhere.

It is a great credit to poulter that he picked up on the greatness of the course, unlike Guyatt who criticised KH for not looking Disney enough.

Good write up as usual Kwini

For me the Ryder Cup this year was clearly the highlight of the year, bar none. Yeah... I didn't care for the final score, or the awkward final match after the Cup had been decided... but otherwise I thought it was 3 days of start to finish drama and incredibly interesting golf. I enjoy when we get to see these guys personalities come out more... and nothing seems to bring that out more than Ryder Cups.

I'd only take issue with one point... Frat boys? Our guys were rah-rah frat boys? Um... I would think the The Euro Team (or was that the Lake Nona team) pretty much Frat boy'ed it up as much on Sunday as the USA team (Isleworth) did total for the first 2 days (as they do quite regularly every two years it seems.)

Happy Thanksgiving robo!

Yes, "Frat boys" is my cartoon description of some of the guys who behave as if they don't get out enough, look as if they might have a tough time handling adversity if the adrenaline high balloon of Friday and Saturday was burst. Characteristic or merely caricature it was the reason I felt beforehand that Europe had a chance.

Living in a College town I have to get my own back somehow!

Hope you enjoy a great day

Mac,
You never know!
Who'd've thunk Casey and Karlsson would have fallen on tough times - two years ago they were among the best in the world?

I'd say David Lynn will have a tough time, possibly Colsaerts too but both of them have the advantage of playing the early WGC's.

I wouldn't be confident of any of the Q-School guys prospering, most of them won't get in the early big tournaments and it'll be a tough slog after that, trying to meet ET commitments, which they should largely forego, and playing unfamiliar courses/grasses when they do finally get in an event. By the time they realise they need to make some money pdq, they'll find there are plenty more in the same boat.

Then: They'll be striving for "Tour" cards in the four-event mini-series in September and, if they miss out there, what next? Back to the E.T.? Or to the web.com??

Kwini/Mac
Comments re Kingston Heath - I am lucky to have played it. If I could only play one more course that would be it. Not only is the course fabulous, but the whole experience exceeds expectation. Friendly, great fun and not pretentious. Of course the good doctor helped, and he didn't make many mistakes wherever he got his theodolite out!!!
Many other superb courses in that area, but IMHO Kingston Heath is the best.

Very envious puligny!

Some courses look like they're designed to be accessible to all levels of golfer, others as if they have "Pros only" written all over them. KH looks to be in the former category, looks as if even duffers might be able to plot their way around without being totally humiliated - I'd also put Harbour Town and Pebble Beach in that category, and I'd love to play the Colt Seaside design on Sea Island where they play The McGladrey.

KH on my bucket list!

Kwini - you describe precisely one of the good doctors principles: golf courses should be playable by golfers of all standards! He did also say don't let pro golfers design courses - they will always do so to their own strengths! Left to right on a Nicklaus course anywhere?
Colt and the doctor were of similar mind and even for some time in partnership I believe?
Some friends played Harbour Town earlier this year and were delighted, and another played Pebble but philistine only wanted to talk about drinking games that evening. They are both on my list!

puligny,
We try to go to Hilton Head every year; there are some very playable / enjoyable courses there; Harbour Town quite expensive and gets a lot of play, but was in very good nick last time I played it. Great place to go for a golfing vacation and, from the end of April well into October, weather warm and sunny enough to attract the most ardent sunbathers / swimmers in your group too! Wife and daughter love it!!
Lots of reasonably priced good restaurants and very hospitable, and just a short drive to Savannah which is a beautiful "walking" City, oodles of "Southern Charm" which is much talked about but actually exists there and, further north, in Charleston too.
Highly recommended . . . . . .

Kwini, cheers. It sounds great and is getting nearer the top of the list. Last couple of years we have had a month or so in Arizona. Not everybody's cup of tea but have really enjoyed it. Golf is fabulous (if you're a bit choosy) and some amazing sites. Have found Phoenix/Scottsdale and Sedona to be very friendly and relaxed, even if some of the authorities are a bit 'strange!' Will negotiate a bit harder for Hilton Head at the next 'Board Meeting'
We both golf which is fortunate! Oregon is high on the list right now as well. Any views?

Apart from the golf, and assuming you both enjoy a glass of wine or two, Oergon has some superb vineyards, some delish vino from the Willamette Valley, reds and whites alike (and some on my table as I write), Columbia Valley perhaps not quite so good.
Never been but would love to, certainly makes Oregon a multi-faceted attraction!

A friend takes a week in Sedona for apres winter therapy every year, all spa, and good food and wine for her! Don't know Arizona really.

Wife doesn't drink - never liked the taste, but enjoys vineyard tours, general info about the stuff and driving me round to taste it etc. and she plays golf - what a lucky boy am I!!! I think Oregon might win for 2013!

Fantastic Kwini. One the best in recent times I think - too many good bits to list here! I still say you should make a living out of this. What you write is far, far better than most of the anodyne dross out there from other sources.
Thanks for writing it as it's invariably informative, funny and well-sourced; much appreciated .

Incidentally. Liverpool 1-up at half-time - managed to get away to see any of it? Hope the turkey isn't too dry - what people see in that meat is anyone's guess!

kwinigolfer wrote:I have, can be delicious!!
But then I also love golumpkis!!!

What, on Earth, is that when it's at home??

golumpkis and pierogis are to die for! Wednesday special at Tiny's Grill - Shotrock can relate.

Thanks nbs, Following the footie on line, plenty of grape-based lubricants on hand to ensure that, even if the turkey is as dry as my sense of humour, everything will be alright on the night.

Cheers

How right you are Kwin about Tiny's.

Had a fair amount to eat/drink yesterday, including a Kutch Pinot Noir ... played 18 this morning in beautiful weather ... but going cold turkey this weekend!

Not familiar with Kutch, and have a completely unwarranted prejudice against California wines - though American Airlines kindly habit of plying me with complimentary Washington State stuff got me in to Oregon and Columbia Valley!
Somewhere in my future needs to be a Sideways week in California . . . . .

No golf here until April.