Thickest rugby player?

Who is the thickest rugby player?

In Wales I always thought it was Andy Powell. One of my west Wales farmer customers told me today that it's actually Tavis Knoyle. Quite surprised to see a player in a reasonably intelligent position to be of the two planked variety.

Mark Regan had a sublime reputation for being slow during his playing days!

Ben Youngs is supposedly slow on the uptake. I heard an example of when asked whether it was true that Bracken was coming in every fortnight to do scrum half specific coaching his reply was "no, he comes in every two weeks".

There was. Twitter thing dedicated to it but I'm not down with the kids so don't know what It's called.

I think I'm in the running. Took me 2 hours to respond.

Tom James

Lee Byrne

Definitely Knoyle, you can tell by the way he plays rubgy, you wouldn't need to speak to him.

Christian Cullen, followed by Byron Kelleher.

Sam Norton Knight.
I don't actually know if it's true, but my god do I hate that man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8UqzlMSTto

Also.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP0St3mcULI

At the other end of the spectrum Adam Jones seems pretty sharp.

Andy Powell - all of the physical attributes for the perfect no.8 - none of the mental

Yh of modern times I guess Powell must be up there near the top though mark Jones ex Ebbw and Neath would give him a run for his money

Not a world renowned name, but my lock in the early nineties was as thick as mud.

My cousin Clive Burgess RIP was never the brightest but a brute of a man.

My go to man for all threads like this, is the one and only, Matt da duh doh Dunning!!!

At least he knew when he was hungry.

Feed the beast! Maybe a bit mean on the doughnut but that DG was ridiculous huh

Ben Youngs. Anyone who makes the same mistakes every week doesn't have a lot going on upstairs.

SBW seems like a bit of a halfwit in the interviews I've seen.

Anyone remember when Jonah Lomu appeared on A Question of Sport? Only thing he got right was his name, and then only after some prompting.

Definitely not the sharpest knife in the draw.

I'd plump for Bruce Douglas, formaer Scotland prop, he just looked daft

Same with Wahl Bartman & Phillip Schutte from the 80s/90s - both looked exceedingly gormless though Bartman was a lawyer off the field if memory serves me right.

Brian Moore.

Justin Harrisson wasnt just thick as a plank but he actually is one.

Andy Powell has to be up there.

Trevor Brennan would be disgusted not to be mentioned in the first 20 posts.
Honorable mention to Ross O'Carroll Kelly also

dummy_half wrote:Anyone remember when Jonah Lomu appeared on A Question of Sport? Only thing he got right was his name, and then only after some prompting.

Definitely not the sharpest knife in the draw.

To be fair, you have admitted to being half a dummy.

R Howley, McBryde and N Jenkins

Although I admired his brute strength, Jerry Collins was a classic. To be fair, our kiwi accent doesn't help with IQ perceptions, we're more action than jibber jabber.

Always hold my breath when young ABs are interviewed, close my eyes and pray. It's much better these days though.

Warthog wrote:Brian Moore.

You mean Brian Moore QC?

Yeah, thick as mince that guy...

He's kicked IT AWAY AGAIN, FOR GODS SAKE!!!!

ebop wrote:He's kicked IT AWAY AGAIN, FOR GODS SAKE!!!!

The best part of that was when he went to say something else straight after, and you could hear the BBC controllers pull the cable on him! And Butler's little giggle afterwards...

Yeah man, that is the funniest rugby moment ever!!

Still get a giggle out of it, he's just totally flipped, it's awesome, I salute you B Moore

Lions tour 2005 true story - Geordan Murphy sees Alistair Campbell sitting next to Donnacha O'Callaghan and remarks that he has never seen two people sitting next to each other with such different IQs.

O'Callaghan turns to Campbell and says "yeahhh you big Dope!"

Euan Murray on the Lions tour 2009 didnt seem like the sharpest tool in the shed

Brian Moore commentating from Paris:

".. Well, that ball didn't even land in the right arrondissement.." (sp?)
made me laugh though


Jiffy
has a very limited vocabulary.

From New Zealand Cory Jane is remarkably thick. Just watch his room raiders series or any interview.

From Austrialia the obvious one is Quade Cooper for getting caught stealing and sending some really dumb tweets however my pick is Nick Cummins as he is either quite slow or stoned, he is funny though:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gzb2VuaRW0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Wales: Too many to choose from: Powell, Henson, Byrne all very silly people.

Ireland: Not sure who is the dumbest, maybe Murray as he is very slow on the field and seems a little slow in interviews too. He might be just young though.

England: Danny Cipriani maybe? He has done some pretty stupid things like steal a bottle of champagne from an Aussie bar. When the waitress caught him he is reported to have said do you know who I am? She replied no, he aparently replied just google me then.

SA: Burger looks really thick but is surprisingly well spoken in interviews. Not sure who to pick here. Maybe JP Pieterson for singling out David Skrela as Irelands biggest threat in the backs. What JP?!?

France: Fat Bastereau has certainly done the dumbest things. Honorable mention to Marc Cessillion for shooting his wife dead at a party.

Italy: Very easy. Craig Gower and probably the dumbest guy in rugby.

My vote Craig Gower.

IronMike wrote:Euan Murray on the Lions tour 2009 didnt seem like the sharpest tool in the shed

He's a trained vet I think! Must be something in there, but I think his humour is very simple

I'm disappointed Haskell hasn't had a mention - I know he is.

Galted wrote:Same with Wahl Bartman & Phillip Schutte from the 80s/90s - both looked exceedingly gormless though Bartman was a lawyer off the field if memory serves me right.

Wahl Bartmann is actually not only a qualified attorney, but a very successful businessman. He married a girl that was at school with me, beautiful, Cisca she has two different coloured eyes. What a lady.

The story actually goes when he was in matric (grade 12) Cisca and I was in in grade 11 then, the was too shy to ask her on a date, so his mates had to help him.

Sometimes you need a wingman.

Biltong wrote:He married a girl that was at school with me, beautiful, Cisca she has two different coloured eyes. What a lady.

It's going to awkward when he finds out he's to married David Bowie. Financially rewarding though.

I've heard from someone who used to know Cipriani from working at his school, apparently he was pretty thick, its a good thing he's good at football!

Biltong wrote:

Galted wrote:Same with Wahl Bartman & Phillip Schutte from the 80s/90s - both looked exceedingly gormless though Bartman was a lawyer off the field if memory serves me right.

Wahl Bartmann is actually not only a qualified attorney, but a very successful businessman. He married a girl that was at school with me, beautiful, Cisca she has two different coloured eyes. What a lady.

The story actually goes when he was in matric (grade 12) Cisca and I was in in grade 11 then, the was too shy to ask her on a date, so his mates had to help him.

Thanks for the background info, though is a bit disconcerting picturing him in a school uniform. There was a whole clutch of Bartman brothers that hit the scene wasn't there?

Does Bluesmancommeth actually play rugby? Because...

To be honest, a lot of the rugby players I've met werent exactly turning down offers from Cambridge.

Andy Powell, Lee Byrne, Haskell, Tom Youngs, Corey Jane to name a few.

Bathman_in_London wrote:To be honest, a lot of the rugby players I've met werent exactly turning down offers from Cambridge.

Andy Powell, Lee Byrne, Haskell, Tom Youngs, Corey Jane to name a few.

you have met all those players? Do you work for the RFU or something?

Galted wrote:

Biltong wrote:

Galted wrote:Same with Wahl Bartman & Phillip Schutte from the 80s/90s - both looked exceedingly gormless though Bartman was a lawyer off the field if memory serves me right.

Wahl Bartmann is actually not only a qualified attorney, but a very successful businessman. He married a girl that was at school with me, beautiful, Cisca she has two different coloured eyes. What a lady.

The story actually goes when he was in matric (grade 12) Cisca and I was in in grade 11 then, the was too shy to ask her on a date, so his mates had to help him.

Thanks for the background info, though is a bit disconcerting picturing him in a school uniform. There was a whole clutch of Bartman brothers that hit the scene wasn't there?

Yes, by memory he has two older brothers.

GunsGerms wrote:

Bathman_in_London wrote:To be honest, a lot of the rugby players I've met werent exactly turning down offers from Cambridge.

Andy Powell, Lee Byrne, Haskell, Tom Youngs, Corey Jane to name a few.

you have met all those players? Do you work for the RFU or something?

Not all no, I think I should have said 'a few which come across as rather thick are;'.
I did come across Haskell and similar aged English players when they were younger though so thats from experience.

NeilyBroon wrote:I've heard from someone who used to know Cipriani from working at his school, apparently he was pretty thick, its a good thing he's good at football!

Yeah so thick he turned up at the rugby club

Must be the winking Tom Williams after he took the Blood Capsule for Harlequins a few years back.............

John Cregan wrote:Must be the winking Tom Williams after he took the Blood Capsule for Harlequins a few years back.............

That was really dumb. Id say he still has nightmares about that.