Bring Back the Biff

Hika Elliot, who holds a black belt in kung-fu and is an experienced boxer, is scheduled to fight the NSW and Cronulla captain in a charity event 'Fight for Life' in Auckland. http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/other-sports/8066267/Gallen-fears-115kg-monster-Hika-Elliot

Nowadays, discipline is needed on the rugby field. Incidents that don't get seen by the ref or the touchies can be referred to the citing officer. But rugby is a physical game and sometimes tempers flare and things get out of hand. So we can't and shouldn't condone foul play on the pitch but secretly deep down we would all like to see two rugby opponents go head to head in a fight. So imagine you're the organiser of this charity event and you get to choose any two players from any era to box it out in the middle of the ring, which players would you like to see standing toe to toe throwing punches at one another?

Here are Mine. The Mike Tyson Villain Grudge match. Well there are a few players who have been in trouble or escaped punishment. But wouldn't we all like to see some madmen go at it in the ring... fighting that is. So plenty of candidates. Richard Loe vs Andrew Hore. Danny Grewcock vs Andy Haden. Ashton vs Tuilagi. But frankly my pick is for Tana Umaga and Brian O'Driscoll.

Umaga and Mealamu shouldn't have escaped punishment for that off the ball incident. BOD's injury alone warranted some sort of penalty. Both players are probably keen to bury the hatchet... in each other's head. So why not empty out all the bad blood in the ring and shake hands afterwards?

The David and Goliath Match. Halfbacks are invariably mouthy players. Aaron Smith is like a guy who has inhaled helium and snorted a coffee table of cocaine. My ears bleed when he plays. But George Gregan, Justin Marshall, Mike Phillips, let's face it, we've all wished one time or other for them to get some punishment back for their lip. So what better way to have that granted with a big villain put up against them?

My vote: Peter Stringer vs Sebastian Chabal.

The Pantomine Fight. I'm not a bad man. Oh yes you are.

Ok for this one we can have a tag-team wrestling fight. They're all singled out as the players we most like to hate. Because they're so good. So how about a tag team of Jonah Lomu, Sean Fitzpatrick, Richie McCaw, Buck Shelford, Dan Carter, Christian Cullen vs John Eales, Martin Jonhson, Thierry Dusatoir, Johhny Wilkinson, Shane Williams, BOD?

The I'm the Supreme Athlete Fight

Players who think they could turn their hand at anything and be good. Zinzan Brooke, James Haskell, Tom Croft, Pierre Spies.

My vote Sonny Bill Williams vs Pierre Spies.

Battle of the Midgets. Short players who don't make the David and Goliath cut but have too much energy that needs a release.

Shane Williams, Cory Jane, Christophe Dominici, Keven Mealamu, JOC.

My pick Austin Healey vs Mike Phillips. Don't care who wins so long as they both hurt one another!

What would your ideal fight be and who would be the players / fighters involved? Don't worry. All above board and it's for charity.

Bakkies Botha vs Colin Meads: That would be epic... (no leg pulling or head-butting guys)

Am sure these guys had a few ding dongs anyway in their time but Willie John v Pine Tree would go down well.

Ronan O Gara v Dan Parks

How about ROG and the guy who battered him on the Lions tour, cant remember his name now (remembered, Duncan McCrae I think lol)

Andy Hoare vs. Dylan Hartley - who's got the hardest forearm.

John Jeffries vs Mickey (Munch) Skinner.
For the Calcutta Cup.

Jonah Lomu V Sonny Bill, and Rory and Catty, all at the same time.......awesome

Cipriani vs Henson

Bakkies Botha vs Brad Thorn, just because it would be an amazing fight.

I think Thorn will win that match. Heapsa respect for Botha but Brad's one heck of a hard man
Cipriani vs Henson, bit of a hand bag one methinks, better Cips vs Quade?

I'd like to see a rematch between Lewsey and Cipriani, but this time, not on the training ground where no one gets to see it!

Bakkies Botha v Victormatfield

Richie McCaw v Sam Warburton

Martin Johnson v John Eales.

Joe Marler v. Cian Healy?

Austin Healy v Jimmy Cowan- The two Poopie little scrum halves to have ever graced the game, can't help but love them both.

Richard Cockerill v Brian Moore v Dean Richards- Three properly old school legends, would probably turn more in to MMA then boxing though.

I'd put money on the likes of Ricky Januarie and Ashwin Willemse in a fight: I'm sure their gangster upbringing would have taught them some interesting moves...or Johan Ackerman (remember him?) not only was he an enforcer-type on the field, but he was also a policeman - back in the days when SA police where not known for their finesse and restraint!

The Viet Gwent v anyone

Angelina Jolie v Jennifer Anniston oh sorry wrong thread

Austin Healey v Justin Harrison

Rematch of the Paul O'Connell and Jamie Cudmore fight.

Veteran fight of Bekker and Skinner.

Richie McCaw can be tagged in by Irish ref Dave McHugh to fight drunken Piet Van Zyl.

Bloodgate replaced for real blood with Tom Williams fighting Dean Richards and the winner gets a pardon.

Michael Brial vs Frank Bunce. Bunce didn't get to retaliate on the pitch but now gets the chance.

In the interests of impartiality Paul Carozza gets to fight Richard Loe but Paul gets to fight with a chair and Phil Kearns pins Loe's arms back.

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:Veteran fight of Bekker and Skinner.

Richie McCaw can be tagged in by Irish ref Dave McHugh to fight drunken Piet Van Zyl.

Bloodgate replaced for real blood with Tom Williams fighting Dean Richards and the winner gets a pardon.

Michael Brial vs Frank Bunce. Bunce didn't get to retaliate on the pitch but now gets the chance.

In the interests of impartiality Paul Carozza gets to fight Richard Loe but Paul gets to fight with a chair and Phil Kearns pins Loe's arms back.

I seem to recall AJ Venter was the tag-team partner in the original bought

Bantam weight contenders:

Stringer
Shane

others ?

Headliner:

BOD v Umaga. I think we'd all like to see BOD smash him into the ground and see how he likes a broken collarbone and a 9 month sabattical.

Undercard:

Sebastian Chabal v Mamuka Gorgodze - the two cavemen of rugby.

Gio Aplon v Peter Stringer - novelty dwarf fight

ROG v Maggie Alphonsi or any other woman. - womens division

GunsGerms wrote:Headliner:

BOD v Umaga. I think we'd all like to see BOD smash him into the ground and see how he likes a broken collarbone and a 9 month sabattical.
Undercard:

Sebastian Chabal v Mamuka Gorgodze - the two cavemen of rugby.

Gio Aplon v Peter Stringer - novelty dwarf fight

ROG v Maggie Alphonsi or any other woman. - womens division

Just as long as Umaga doesn't have any handbags on him!!

One for the old time purists in the finer arts of rugby brawling:

Kobus Wiese against Wade Dooley.

Maybe backed up by Ackford against Mendez the Argie prop who gave him a good right hook.

Duncan McRae v O'Gara

That would have been a sell out after the 2009 Lions tour.

VictorU3 wrote:Duncan McRae v O'Gara

That would have been a sell out after the 2009 Lions tour.

No it would be embarassing. O'Gara was meant to be a Lion but really looked like a big pu$$y instead.

bedfordwelsh wrote:The Viet Gwent v anyone

Angelina Jolie v Jennifer Anniston oh sorry wrong thread

Oh yes, I'd really like to see these two get done in the ring....

Alex Salmond vs Alastair Darling
(for the 'Calcutta Cup')

Willy Walsh vs Richard Branson.

(Willy offered to knee Branson in the groin - for a bet)

Mr Fishpaste wrote:

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:Veteran fight of Bekker and Skinner.

Richie McCaw can be tagged in by Irish ref Dave McHugh to fight drunken Piet Van Zyl.

Bloodgate replaced for real blood with Tom Williams fighting Dean Richards and the winner gets a pardon.

Michael Brial vs Frank Bunce. Bunce didn't get to retaliate on the pitch but now gets the chance.

In the interests of impartiality Paul Carozza gets to fight Richard Loe but Paul gets to fight with a chair and Phil Kearns pins Loe's arms back.

I seem to recall AJ Venter was the tag-team partner in the original bought

Think he can be the other tag team partner. It was him and Richie at the forefront like any decent openside: first to the action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cugWIM6E39g Surprised Richie didn't get cited for a gouging attempt.

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:

Mr Fishpaste wrote:

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:Veteran fight of Bekker and Skinner.

Richie McCaw can be tagged in by Irish ref Dave McHugh to fight drunken Piet Van Zyl.

Bloodgate replaced for real blood with Tom Williams fighting Dean Richards and the winner gets a pardon.

Michael Brial vs Frank Bunce. Bunce didn't get to retaliate on the pitch but now gets the chance.

In the interests of impartiality Paul Carozza gets to fight Richard Loe but Paul gets to fight with a chair and Phil Kearns pins Loe's arms back.

I seem to recall AJ Venter was the tag-team partner in the original bought

Think he can be the other tag team partner. It was him and Richie at the forefront like any decent openside: first to the action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cugWIM6E39g Surprised Richie didn't get cited for a gouging attempt.

Looks a bit like Biltong's cousin.

Could be sent to the bin for 10 days for that comment gregortree. Anorexia doesn't run in Biltong's family.

Oh dear, sorry Biltong,
I am now given to understand your athletic cousin would have KOd the ref, plus McCaw, and would have required far more than 15 Bokke players and 2 officials to subdue him, so sorry for any slight on your family's credentials

pioden gorllewin wrote:Cipriani vs Henson

thats not a man fight but a Bitch Slap

BOD vs Healy, so we can all see what went down in 2001.
Calum Clark vs Paul O'Connell, Jamie Cudmore, Manu Tuilagi, and Jerry Collins. No particular reason other than Clark being scum who deserves a thrashing.
Morgan Parra vs Yachvilli

Tait has gown up, beefed up and returned from injury, so he definitely deserves another chance. So for me it has to be (yes you guessed it):

Tait vs Henson

Andy powell v a pub full of angry louts.

Ok on that theme then:

Hartley vs The Glass Nutter

He deserves a fair rematch. Maybe Tuilagi can be his second.