Golf rounds - the good, the bad and the ugly!

Pretty slow day at work so thought I would post a note on my last few games and see if anyone else has had the same sort of thing happen to them!?

I played last weekend (Sunday) with 3 friends and struck the ball beautifully shotting a 2 over par 74 around my local course, Burgham Park in Northumberland. It could have been lower if I had holed a few putts that I would normally stick away but I walked off a happy man. Thats the good!

The bad came on Tuesday (at the same course and same conditions) and shot an 83 which was mainly just good scrambling and solid putting but the ugly came in the form of 4 or 5 topped iron shots (haven't had one of those for many years now). Walked off that day in a rotten mood and several golden coins lighter!

Golf - its a funny old game! Anyone else got any of the same sort of tales??

This year. Off h/c 17 - now been reduced to 15

good - 79 inc. hole in one and two birdies in terrible conditions

bad - 122 inc 10 out of bunker and ball to eye

ugly - schitt myself, red raw ar5e and pair of pants and golf towel lighter

tarka wrote:This year. Off h/c 17 - now been reduced to 15

good - 79 inc. hole in one and two birdies in terrible conditions

bad - 122 inc 10 out of bunker and ball to eye

ugly - schitt myself, red raw ar5e and pair of pants and golf towel lighter

And I thought my ugly was bad tarka!! haha made me laugh though and unsurprisingly made me feel better about my 83. At least my rear end wasn't red raw and I've never hit myself in the eye!

I also got a text one evening whilst playing a few holes at dusk and the phone was in my bag which was on my back. I reached around to get the phone out the bag and I blacked out. I had walked headfirst into a bunker and knocked myself out woke up in the sand with bag on top of me. Luckily nobody was about or I wouldn't have lived that one down.

When I took 10 out of bunker it was a roasting hot day in medal on the 18th. There was a squad enjoying a pint watching the groups on the balcony. I was scared of thining the ball out the sand across the car park and I kept hitting the lip. Everyone was pi55ing themselves laughing at my pathetic attempts to get out the sand when I hit the lip of the bunker and the ball came pack hitting me straight in the fizog. I went down like a sack of tatties and when I got up there was nobody on the balcony; i was told in the clubhouse that the captain had hearded everyone in as the laughing was getting out of control. I stumbled around the green like I had just been caught by lennox lewis and missed a 2 inch putt. I said put me down for a 15 when my frindly playing partner asked if I had counted the penalty for hitting myself in the face. I would have hooked him if i could have seen him

Tarkas christmas tales.Secondhand golf towels for sale.
happy Xmas all

I have had a problem with my bowels of late. One bit of relief on my course is that on the 8th there is a toilet. It is not the most luxurious of conveniences granted, and I will admit that there have been times the "out of order" sign has been blatently ignored after a night on the ale and a boiled egg madras on the way home but it has been a well used facility by me over the years, especially when you feel the "turtles heid" poking out.

A fortnight ago I swapped going for a jimmy white with an extra five minutes in bed and had to race to make the tee on time. It got to the point when I would have to use the wonderous wc in the woods. I stolled up to it knowing that time was on my side and it was going to be an enjoyable dump when low and behold there was a new passcode lock on the door and it was locked shut. This felt like some kind of cruel game show and the pressure was starting to tell as my nervous bowels were starting to give way. I phoned the pro in a state of panic to get the code whilst the sweat was pishing off my brow and my right leg was going like a jackhammer. You know that film with the lovely Keanu Reeves and the hunky Sandra Bullock "speed" when he is fumbling with the timer of the bomb to prevent a pending explosion, well it was like a low budget version of that.

tarka wrote:I have had a problem with my bowels of late. One bit of relief on my course is that on the 8th there is a toilet. It is not the most luxurious of conveniences granted, and I will admit that there have been times the "out of order" sign has been blatently ignored after a night on the ale and a boiled egg madras on the way home but it has been a well used facility by me over the years, especially when you feel the "turtles heid" poking out.

A fortnight ago I swapped going for a jimmy white with an extra five minutes in bed and had to race to make the tee on time. It got to the point when I would have to use the wonderous wc in the woods. I stolled up to it knowing that time was on my side and it was going to be an enjoyable dump when low and behold there was a new passcode lock on the door and it was locked shut. This felt like some kind of cruel game show and the pressure was starting to tell as my nervous bowels were starting to give way. I phoned the pro in a state of panic to get the code whilst the sweat was pishing off my brow and my right leg was going like a jackhammer. You know that film with the lovely Keanu Reeves and the hunky Sandra Bullock "speed" when he is fumbling with the timer of the bomb to prevent a pending explosion, well it was like a low budget version of that.

brilliant - cheered me up no ends!!

Gadzooks.

Look forward to hearing about your round at TOC.

I hear there are bulldozers and a bit of earth-moving going on over there in case of any emergencies.

There is precious few gorse bushes left to hide your modesty should you need to drop the kids off.

Tarka

I'm in tears. Great stuff. No competition from me on those!

thanks tarka, that's priceless.