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Teams
Arsenal - Holymiky
Atletico Madrid - Nadeem
Barcelona - Trebs
Bayern Munich - Fernando
Borussia Dortmund - Marky
Chelsea - BamBam
Juventus - Hero
Man Citeh - Azzy the Fluffer
Paris St Germain - Enigma
Porto - "Wisden"
Real Madrid - Viva

Week 1 Fixtures - Tactics due Monday 25th May

Arsenal/Miky is Voter

Atletico Madrid v Real Madrid
Barcelona v PSG
Bayern Munich v Porto
Chelsea v Man Citeh
Dortmund v Juventus

Yeah tonight they're playing Lithuania, governed by the Lietuvos futbolo federacija (LFF)

Oh, I thought it was today.

It's a disgrace that Carrick hasn't played for England since 2013.

Its a disgrace he pulled himself out of the standby list for the World Cup because he had a paddy he wasn't picked.

Guess thats another United midfielder who quit on his country

GSC wrote:Its a disgrace he pulled himself out of the standby list for the World Cup because he had a paddy he wasn't picked.

Guess thats another United midfielder who quit on his country

We all know he should have been in the starting XI let alone as a standby.

Club >>>>>>> Country

He might have been in the starting XI if England knew they could rely on him to put in a committed performance

I don't see the point in Carrick being in the starting 11 of England anymore. There are younger and better players in his position. He needs to man up and accept his time is over.

I expected better from you GSC, I can understand the likes of Azzy & Marky liking the hard working, running around like headless chicken type of players.

Carrick is pure class, he makes it look easy. No coincidence Utd have picked form since Carricks return. He is so unlike your typical English player if you could only see his silhouette you'd think he is Spanish or Italian.

nadeem2099 wrote:I don't see the point in Carrick being in the starting 11 of England anymore. There are younger and better players in his position. He needs to man up and accept his time is over.

But it's ok playing Gerrard and Lampard in their late 30's.

Who do you think should replace Carrick? Wilshere? Haha don't make me laugh my son.

I'll give credit where it's due and that is Carrick is the best in the world at passing sideways/backwards.

The thing with old players is when they reach 30, they lose a lot of their pace. To some players, like Carrick who never had much pace to begin with, is less influential in a match. Sure he can pass the ball, keep possession, but when you need someone to stop a counter attack or to stop Messi, Carrick is not your man.

Why are we talking about Carrick being replaced? He hasn't played for England since 2013. If he plays, he's replacing someone else - and no matter who it is, we shouldn't be picking a guy who only recently said he thinks he's got one more year left in the tank. We're meant to be building for the future.

Plus as GSC said, he's a quitter, and Roy has enough of those already. At least John Terry stood by his position.

he plays when he wants, he plays when he wants, Michael Carrick, he plays when he wants

Jon Terry along with Steven Gerrad is the most selfish player ever to have played the game. I don't have time for racist clubs and racist fans.

At least Terry was available when his country needed him.

I bet Michael Carrick votes SNP

Got sheep from Nadz, Miky, Viva and Azzy,

I want a few more to make it worthwhile.

Got sheep from Nadz, Miky, Viva and Azzy,

I want a few more to make it worthwhile.

We can't even get a game of sheep together. What an embarrassment.

Azzy are you OK?

I've noticed you've been moaning and moody more than usual this past month or so.

You sound like my wife

Come to think of it, I've never seen the two of you in the same room before...

Give me 2 mins and I'll do sheep too

1. What do you think of bloodborne?
Don't care - Trebs, Azzy, Hero, Afro
Dark Souls 2 successor, which I am currently playing FYI.  - Nadz
Looks good/Best 8th gen game out at the moment.- Viva, Miky
Trebs 4
Azzy  4
Afro 4
Hero 4
Nadz 1
Miky 2
Viva 2
2. Who will score first for england tonight?
Harry Kane - Trebs, Miky
Wazza - Azzy, Viva, Hero Afro
Welbeck - Nadz
Trebs 6
Azzy  8
Afro 8
Hero 8
Nadz 2
Miky 4
Viva 6

3. Name a player that should be in the england squad but isn't
Ashley Young - Trebs, Hero
Ryan Bertrand - Azzy
Fabian Delph - Nadz
Aaron Cresswell - Viva
Danny Ings - Miky
John Stones - Afro
Trebs 8
Azzy  9
Afro 9
Hero 10
Nadz 3
Miky 5
Viva 7
Amazed at the number of answers here.

4. Who will win the Azzrentice?
Trebs - Trebs, Viva
Can't say - Azzy
Viva - Nadz, Hero
GSC - Miky, Afro

Trebs 10
Azzy  10
Afro 11
Hero 12
Nadz 5
Miky 7
Viva 9
5. Name an international game that will happen this week other than an england game.
Scotland vs Gibraltar - Trebs, Azzy, Afro
Japan vs Ukraine - Nadz
Brazil vs Chile - Viva
France vs Brazil - Miky
Spain vs Ukraine - Hero
Trebs 13
Azzy  13
Afro 14
Hero 13
Nadz 6
Miky 8
Viva 10

6. If you could be an animal, which would it be?
Sheep - Trebs
Rabbit - Azzy
Cheetah - Nadz
White Tiger - Viva, Miky
The bold leader of the duck sized horses, to train them all in the art of Ninjutzu to take down our most hated adversary, the one simply known as 'The taxi r***ist' - Hero
Lion - Afro
Trebs 14
Azzy  14
Afro 15
Hero 14
Nadz 7
Miky 10
Viva 12
Extremely close going into the last two.

7. Which manager on here do you think has the best real life job?
Sodhat - Trebs
Azzy - Azzy, Afro, Hero
Afro - Nadz
FootballLight - Viva
Hero - Miky
Trebs 15
Azzy  17
Afro 18
Hero 17
Nadz 8
Miky 11
Viva 13
Viva deserves a bonus point for most interesting answer...
So it comes down to the leaders debate.

Top answer of any question is here...

8. Who won last night, Ed Miliband or David Cameron?
Ed Miliband - Trebs, Viva, Miky, Afro, Hero
David Cameron - Azzy, Nadz
Afro 23
Hero 22
Trebs 20
Azzy  19
Viva 18
Miky 16
Nadz 10

So not only will Ed Miliband ruin our country, he's also ruined Sheep. What a bar steward

It's a tough old choice this election. Do we want Cameron and his buffoons to continue ruining our country, or let Ed "Nice but Dim" loose for 5 years.

Azzy wrote:You sound like my wife

Come to think of it, I've never seen the two of you in the same room before...

It's true you've been extra moody lately.

Trebs wrote:7. Which manager on here do you think has the best real life job?
Sodhat - Trebs
Azzy - Azzy, Afro, Hero
Afro - Nadz
FootballLight - Viva
Hero - Miky
Trebs 15
Azzy  17
Afro 18
Hero 17
Nadz 8
Miky 11
Viva 13
Viva deserves a bonus point for most interesting answer...
So it comes down to the leaders debate.

He's got a point. I haven't heard of a teenage doctor since Doogie Howser

Afro wrote:It's a tough old choice this election. Do we want Cameron and his buffoons to continue ruining our country, or let Alex Salmond loose for 5 years.

Fixed. Miliband is going to fail to win the most winnable election in years. His brother would've walked it.

Even I'd have voted for David Miliband. He's mature, seasoned, respected, sensible, cool under pressure and backed up his words with statistics and actual plans. Ed always appears desperate, erratic, tries too hard to please, has no factual support to his words and I'm yet to hear an actual plan from him.

Cameron has the advantage purely through having governed for 5 years. He has the stats, plans etc all in place. I just shudder to think what would happen if the likes of Ed Balls and Chukka Umunna get into power.

The consequence of letting Cameron be involved in the devolved powers process

Agree with you 100% GSC. The unions have only got themselves to blame on Miliband

Miky me and you could have been great friends if it wasn't for the fact that you supported Chelsea.

We both like White Tigers, we think Bloodbourne is a great game (You're not biased like Hero and Azzy) and we like Rap.

I like Ed Balls.

And Umunna will run off after 5 minutes when he doesn't like something

Ed Balls would be a disaster I think. David Miliband is the only one of the lot that struck me as having any real authority or credibility.

It'll be interesting what happens when nobody wins a majority. Ed can kiss his career beyond one PM term goodbye if he gets into bed with Salmond

Afro likes Balls, hands up who's not surprised?

I thought about what I was posting and contemplated changing it. But why not give the banter some fuel

As long as he's not sweaty, I am a fan of balls

Can we answer Farage?

Chelsea supporters and Farage go hand in hand.

Just like United midfielders and Alex Salmond apparently

Koba wrote:Chelsea supporters and Farage go hand in hand.

You're thinking of Nick Griffin.

It's National boobie Day Which ironically means all these feminists are now posting pictures on Tw@tter despite wanting page 3 banned..

Have a great weekends lads xx

You too mate.

Nadeem can you never tweet to me again at 3am, it took me at least 45 minutes to fall back asleep.

Booty call?

FL making friends and influencing people as ever on the football section.

I'm wondering if the dude has some kind of disorder. He flatout cannot get along with anyone.

Not even the other side of his split personality

Okay guys, what are we doing with this league?