Stupidest Nickname in World Rugby

It occurred to me again this morning, as I read it on these boards, what a lousy nickname 'Faz' is.

First of all, it's a lazy nickname that's taken barely any thought whatsoever, and secondly it looks as stupid as it sounds (IMHO).

Does any other player have a worse nickname?

For balance, seeing as it's England v Wales week, I've always thought 'Tips' was a cr@p nickname too.

Samson Lee: Gypsy Boy.

Jiffy?

Yeah 'Jiffy' isn't great. But it's not as lazy as 'Faz'.

Not sure if they're stupid, but the Welsh boys have some silly ones off the top of my head:

Melon - Gethin Jenkins
Sanjay - Liam Williams
Alfie - Gareth Thomas. Actually that's genius when you look at them both!
JD2 - JD2
Foxy - JD2
Cubby - JD2's brother

Others I like and are more inventive than stupid:
Chariots - Offiah
36 - Billy Twelve Trees (need an Irish accent for that one)

My all time favourite:
Fish - Paul Tito - "because he's all arms and legs"!

A scotland team with
Sheck, Angela, Tiny tim, batman, frodo, meatball, Tennessee Tam. Turnstile tim. Beaker, Rhubarb?

I suppose technically 'Christine' for Chris Dean is a lazy nickname, but it's too funny and obvious to ignore!

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:I suppose technically 'Christine' for Chris Dean is a lazy nickname, but it's too funny and obvious to ignore!

Nah, lazy is the England Cricket team. With Stoney, Vincey, Rooty, Jonny, Stokesy, Woaksy, Woody, Broady, Bally, Jimmy - it was almost remarkable that Alastair Cook became Chef and not Cooky

And Vaughany, Swanny and Straussy before that....

Gats.

Lazy.

LondonTiger wrote:

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:I suppose technically 'Christine' for Chris Dean is a lazy nickname, but it's too funny and obvious to ignore!

Nah, lazy is the England Cricket team. With Stoney, Vincey, Rooty, Jonny, Stokesy, Woaksy, Woody, Broady, Bally, Jimmy - it was almost remarkable that Alastair Cook became Chef and not Cooky

I know him as Cookie.

Lazy is calling a player by one of their middle names, but Ragnar Fagerson is just too good!

Best name ever was John "The great white shark" Jeffery

That could be confusing when you had Derek White in the back row as well!

The feckin Honey Badger!!!

Never really liked "Nobody" for John Eales, since it sounded too contrived ("because 'nobody's' perfect")

Campo..........

Maybe it was code for something else?

I'd have to echo 36 as the best one I've heard.

36 for me as well.

Although Wilkinson's had the most success, he had a chain of stores named after him.

Ryan Wilson calls Duncan Taylor 'Screech' because he looks like the character from Saved by the Bell.

Pretty accurate to be fair.

Dunno about stupidest:
Best nickname I've heard was for Kevin "Porno" Maggs, centre for Ireland in the 90s.

Nugget, for Martin Williams.

furra_linee wrote:Dunno about stupidest:
Best nickname I've heard was for Kevin "Porno" Maggs, centre for Ireland in the 90s.

That’s brilliant!

BOD, POM, POC, DOC, MOK, TOD, ROG...

NeilyBroon wrote:Ryan Wilson calls Duncan Taylor 'Screech' because he looks like the character from Saved by the Bell.

Pretty accurate to be fair.

I like that!

Hersh

James "the Brand" Haskell

TightHEAD wrote:Campo..........

Maybe it was code for something else?

You mean fu*"ing wan**r!!

Guzzler.

I always thought Barney was funny.

Pot Hale wrote: BOD, POM, POC, DOC, MOK, TOD, ROG...

Only some of those were actually used in anything other than written text though?

I thought everyone called O'Driscoll Drico? O'Connell Paulie? O'Gara Rog...oh yeah you can have that one. Surely no-one has ever O'Mahony Pom?

Rugby Fan wrote:Never really liked "Nobody" for John Eales, since it sounded too contrived ("because 'nobody's' perfect")

True, and it strikes me as something that is repeated as a nice little anecdote that players and pundits alike will drop into interviews, but not something that sounds like it was ever used. I could be wrong on that of course.

I also don't think lazy nicknames are that bad, since that's kinda the point IMO. When you start putting too much effort into them, or they get longer than someone's actual name, you've missed the point.

Nick Cummins' nickname isn't really the Honey Badger. That's used anecdotally but in practice his nickname is the badge. Which is a lazy appropriation of the Honey badger. Faz is fine, it does the job.

Bomb- Adam Jones. Love it!

When George Gregan was setting the world record for consecutive caps the Wallabies' second choice 9 was known by his team-mates as "Anthems" because that was the only time he got on the pitch.

At the same time the All Blacks were captained by a flanker (whose name I forget) whose nickname in the team was "Suitcase" because the rest of the team were fed up carrying him.

jimbopip wrote:When George Gregan was setting the world record for consecutive caps the Wallabies' second choice 9 was known by his team-mates as "Anthems" because that was the only time he got on the pitch.

At the same time the All Blacks were captained by a flanker (whose name I forget) whose nickname in the team was "Suitcase" because the rest of the team were fed up carrying him.

I read that was his nickname in the press. Would be a bit brutal for a nickname from teammates.

Scottrf wrote:

jimbopip wrote:When George Gregan was setting the world record for consecutive caps the Wallabies' second choice 9 was known by his team-mates as "Anthems" because that was the only time he got on the pitch.

At the same time the All Blacks were captained by a flanker (whose name I forget) whose nickname in the team was "Suitcase" because the rest of the team were fed up carrying him.

I read that was his nickname in the press. Would be a bit brutal for a nickname from teammates.

If I remember rightly most of the team came from the Crusaders and he played for one of the less fancied teams so the feeling was that the coaches were "seeing" all the unseen work he was doing while the team , frankly, were not.

I assumed that referred to Reuben Thorne, but I'm sure he played for Crusaders!

Sleptwithaman Cipriani

Church for Cian Healy is stooopid. He used to be known as bungalow too.

Collapse2005 wrote:Church for Cian Healy is stooopid. He used to be known as bungalow too.

Why those nicknames?

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:

Collapse2005 wrote:Church for Cian Healy is stooopid. He used to be known as bungalow too.

Why those nicknames?

Bungalow because he was big downstairs but there is nothing upstairs. Not sure why he was called Church.

He still calls himself Church, doesn't he? Although I don't think a nickname should count if you give it to yourself.

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:He still calls himself Church, doesn't he? Although I don't think a nickname should count if you give it to yourself.

I don't think he originally gave it to himself. I think it had to do with some of his in rugby like pastimes.

furra_linee wrote:Dunno about stupidest:
Best nickname I've heard was for Kevin "Porno" Maggs, centre for Ireland in the 90s.

I actually think Porno is a great nickname.
I would have to imagine that when he would have introduced himself to a woman, if she didn't run away quickly, life was going to be reeealy good.

Wasn't it on a Lions tour that "Only The Good" was applied to Dai Young?

Shaggy for Will Greenwood (obvious)
Fun Bus for Jason Leonard
Gareth Anscombe is apparently called "Chicken" because of his skinny legs
I love that Brian Lima was referred to as The Chiropractor

My mate and I often give players our own nicknames whilst watching internationals but they're mostly too contrived and/or out of context to make any sense to anyone on here...