Music Section Morning Tea Society

by **Galted** Wed 25 Jan 2023, 3:53 am

First topic message reminder :

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
alfie wrote:nomenclature

Lovely stuff, alfie. Not a word we see often on here.

Reminds of the time Jeff used 'oeuvre' when describing some j*zz singer.

Although he was being deliberately pompous whereas I suspect yours is accidental pomposity.

F*ck off, Tino, can you not see that I'm already grooming alfie?

by lostinwales Mon 27 Mar 2023, 5:47 am

Fist and happy sleepy monday to all the humans and non humans out there!

by **Galted** Mon 27 Mar 2023, 7:15 am

Afternoon, infidels!

by **Pal Joey** Tue 28 Mar 2023, 12:36 am

Heathen fist.

Any exciting plans for your 15,000th post, Galted?

How was Belgium?
I'm glad you made it home without a chocolate knife in your neck... notwithstanding the severe dressing down you got from Ursula.

by **Galted** Tue 28 Mar 2023, 2:51 am

Morning PJ. Had no idea my 15,000th post was imminent, might go with a cat anecdote or a palindrome. More than likely will forget though and end up with a tedious post which will no doubt contain a grammatical error and earn a savaging from Julius.

by lostinwales Tue 28 Mar 2023, 4:59 am

Tired.

by **Galted** Tue 28 Mar 2023, 5:32 am

If I had £1 for every post I'd made that wasn't deleted by a mod, I'd have £14,999.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 28 Mar 2023, 5:41 am

Paul Weller deletes your posts?

by **Galted** Tue 28 Mar 2023, 5:59 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Paul Weller deletes your posts?

You must think I'm pretty f*cking stupid if you're hoping I'm going to waste my 15,000th post answering that.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 28 Mar 2023, 6:07 am

by **Pal Joey** Tue 28 Mar 2023, 6:08 am

VTR wrote:
Galted wrote:Posting feats not accomplished by an Englishman shouldn't be recognised.

I don't think anyone is saying that. A mod on a 2-stroke moped chasing another mod on a 2-stroke moped is not something Paul Weller would write a song about. It is extremely unlikely that we saw two of the best modding performances of all time on your 15,000th post. Clearly, conditions for this milestone were so far in favour of subsequent posters, it was bordering on anarchy.

by lostinwales Wed 29 Mar 2023, 5:41 am

Hump Fist.

by **Galted** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 6:02 am

Sicond. Was off on Monday which has compromised my hump position, have to wait until the end of the day instead of halfway through. At least I'm not Lily Savage.

by guildfordbat Wed 29 Mar 2023, 6:27 am

Pal Joey wrote:
VTR wrote:
Galted wrote:Posting feats not accomplished by an Englishman shouldn't be recognised.

I don't think anyone is saying that. A mod on a 2-stroke moped chasing another mod on a 2-stroke moped is not something Paul Weller would write a song about. It is extremely unlikely that we saw two of the best modding performances of all time on your 15,000th post. Clearly, conditions for this milestone were so far in favour of subsequent posters, it was bordering on anarchy.

Hi Galted - as Alec Stewart almost said to me, ''15,000 is a good total but it's not going to win the thread. You now need to go on and make it properly count.''

by **Galted** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 6:56 am

guildfordbat wrote:
Pal Joey wrote:
VTR wrote:
Galted wrote:Posting feats not accomplished by an Englishman shouldn't be recognised.

I don't think anyone is saying that. A mod on a 2-stroke moped chasing another mod on a 2-stroke moped is not something Paul Weller would write a song about. It is extremely unlikely that we saw two of the best modding performances of all time on your 15,000th post. Clearly, conditions for this milestone were so far in favour of subsequent posters, it was bordering on anarchy.

Hi Galted - as Alec Stewart almost said to me, ''15,000 is a good total but it's not going to win the thread. You now need to go on and make it properly count.''

Thanks for the advice, Guildford. I was worried about making a mistake during the nervous 14,900s but now that I've got through them I'm just going to take it slow for a while, wait for the posts to come to me rather than try to force them.

by guildfordbat Wed 29 Mar 2023, 7:08 am

Galted wrote:
guildfordbat wrote:
Pal Joey wrote:
VTR wrote:
Galted wrote:Posting feats not accomplished by an Englishman shouldn't be recognised.

I don't think anyone is saying that. A mod on a 2-stroke moped chasing another mod on a 2-stroke moped is not something Paul Weller would write a song about. It is extremely unlikely that we saw two of the best modding performances of all time on your 15,000th post. Clearly, conditions for this milestone were so far in favour of subsequent posters, it was bordering on anarchy.

Hi Galted - as Alec Stewart almost said to me, ''15,000 is a good total but it's not going to win the thread. You now need to go on and make it properly count.''

Thanks for the advice, Guildford. I was worried about making a mistake during the nervous 14,900s but now that I've got through them I'm just going to take it slow for a while, wait for the posts to come to me rather than try to force them.

Yep, Galted, don't go chasing. Just play each post on its merits.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 7:17 am

Hello Savages

by **Pal Joey** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 8:13 am

What's happened to our images, Jules?

Spoiler:

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 9:20 am

I guess the site that hosted them deleted them

by **Galted** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 2:56 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Hello Savages

These puns are a real drag.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 3:21 pm

I'm the king of puns, you're the queen.

by **Pal Joey** Wed 29 Mar 2023, 4:14 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:I guess the site that hosted them deleted them

imgur have a lot to answer for. You put a lot of work into those images.

Der König is not amused...

by **superflyweight** Thu 30 Mar 2023, 7:31 am

Fist.

I see the golfers are slamming the BBC for being too left wing.

Can imagine them collectively hitting 'send', sighing in self-satisfied pleasure, sitting back in their red leather Windsors, Pringle jumpers (pastel shades with diamond pattern) worn loose around their shoulders, unzipping their slacks, cracking their knuckles and opening the Daily Mail to find Simon Heffer's latest column.

by **Galted** Thu 30 Mar 2023, 8:10 am

I think they would smash 'send' and subdue a furious little piss quiver but, other than that, yes.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 30 Mar 2023, 8:21 am

superflyweight wrote:Fist.

I see the golfers are slamming the BBC for being too left wing.

Can imagine them collectively hitting 'send', sighing in self-satisfied pleasure, sitting back in their red leather Windsors, Pringle jumpers (pastel shades with diamond pattern) worn loose around their shoulders, unzipping their slacks, cracking their knuckles and opening the Daily Mail to find Simon Heffer's latest column.

I always get that vibe when people make or use a f**king portmanteau like "Libtards" or "Remoaners" I can almost hear the audible snort of pleasure/derision upon hitting send.

by **Galted** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 4:54 am

Looks like Superfly's fist scared off the multitude of regular posters yesterday.

On a sadder note, isn't it heartbreaking imagining Donald Trump in orange overalls?

by lostinwales Fri 31 Mar 2023, 5:01 am

Sicond. Trump invisible in orange. Glorious.

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 31 Mar 2023, 5:28 am

superflyweight wrote:Fist.

I see the golfers are slamming the BBC for being too left wing.

Can imagine them collectively hitting 'send', sighing in self-satisfied pleasure, sitting back in their red leather Windsors, Pringle jumpers (pastel shades with diamond pattern) worn loose around their shoulders, unzipping their slacks, cracking their knuckles and opening the Daily Mail to find Simon Heffer's latest column.

G*lf really was just invented for grown men to dress like complete c*nts.

The f*cking stupid trousers and white belts. The hats with no top part, just the visor.

F*cking bozos.

by **Galted** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 5:59 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote:Fist.

I see the golfers are slamming the BBC for being too left wing.

Can imagine them collectively hitting 'send', sighing in self-satisfied pleasure, sitting back in their red leather Windsors, Pringle jumpers (pastel shades with diamond pattern) worn loose around their shoulders, unzipping their slacks, cracking their knuckles and opening the Daily Mail to find Simon Heffer's latest column.

G*lf really was just invented for grown men to dress like complete c*nts.

The f*cking stupid trousers and white belts. The hats with no top part, just the visor.

F*cking bozos.

Music Section Morning Tea Society - Page 10 21166510

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 31 Mar 2023, 6:06 am

L*l.

F*cking l*l out loud.

by **Galted** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 6:25 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:L*l.

F*cking l*l out loud.

Imagining some tit spending five-hundred quid on a pair of shoes so he can look like Tiger Woods when he shoots fifty over par reduces me to tears.

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 31 Mar 2023, 6:30 am

Yep. I particularly like the one glove comment as well.

Michael Jackson used to wear one white glove. G*lfing nonces.

by **Galted** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 6:42 am

If you haven't seen the Jackass movie (or even if you have), the bit with them letting off an airhorn on a golf course whenever someone's about to take a shot is particularly enjoyable.

by **superflyweight** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 6:50 am

Galted wrote:If you haven't seen the Jackass movie (or even if you have), the bit with them letting off an airhorn on a golf course whenever someone's about to take a shot is particularly enjoyable.

My mate was driving us back from Glasgow once and the motorway got closed and we got diverted and stuck in a traffic jam right beside a golf course. We passed the time by beeping the horn really loud every time someone got to the top of their backswing. Kept us amused for ages. One group of four got really annoyed and the last guy to go stared at us for ages before taking his shot. My mate showed his appreciation by beeping the horn repeatedly throughout his swing. The ball went about 15 yards and we all gave him the w*nker sign.

It was a great day.

by **Galted** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 7:11 am

superflyweight wrote:
Galted wrote:If you haven't seen the Jackass movie (or even if you have), the bit with them letting off an airhorn on a golf course whenever someone's about to take a shot is particularly enjoyable.

My mate was driving us back from Glasgow once and the motorway got closed and we got diverted and stuck in a traffic jam right beside a golf course. We passed the time by beeping the horn really loud every time someone got to the top of their backswing. Kept us amused for ages. One group of four got really annoyed and the last guy to go stared at us for ages before taking his shot. My mate showed his appreciation by beeping the horn repeatedly throughout his swing. The ball went about 15 yards and we all gave him the w*nker sign.

It was a great day.

If I was ever in a situation like that I would be genuinely worried I might rupture an internal organ from laughing too much.

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 31 Mar 2023, 7:14 am

I'm from Runcorn but I would be pretty terrified by a car full of radges giving me the w*nker sign.

by **superflyweight** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 7:34 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm from Runcorn but I would be pretty terrified by a car full of radges giving me the w*nker sign.

The driver is an absolute bear. 6'6 and about 20 stone of impenetrable blubber and carries the nickname "Chief" really well. Was once walking past about half a dozen skateboarders with him and one of them tried to jump down some stairs and fell on his face. Chief burst out laughing and one of them turned and said "what are you f*king laughing at?" and then realised his mistake when he saw the size of Chief. Chief's response of "yir daft f*cking mate ya daft c*nt" was met with respectful silence.

by **Galted** Fri 31 Mar 2023, 7:52 am

superflyweight wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm from Runcorn but I would be pretty terrified by a car full of radges giving me the w*nker sign.

The driver is an absolute bear. 6'6 and about 20 stone of impenetrable blubber and carries the nickname "Chief" really well. Was once walking past about half a dozen skateboarders with him and one of them tried to jump down some stairs and fell on his face. Chief burst out laughing and one of them turned and said "what are you f*king laughing at?" and then realised his mistake when he saw the size of Chief. Chief's response of "yir daft f*cking mate ya daft c*nt" was met with respectful silence.

If only Shakespeare was Scottish his plays would be much more enjoyable.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 03 Apr 2023, 4:22 am

When shall we three fist again?

by **Galted** Mon 03 Apr 2023, 4:40 am

You may my glories and my state depose,
But not my griefs; ya daft c*nt
- Richard the sicond

by lostinwales Mon 03 Apr 2023, 5:17 am

'I've measured it from side to side: 'Tis three feet long, and two feet wide.'

Wordsworth

by **Pal Joey** Mon 03 Apr 2023, 6:18 am

I am not a rock that stands against time... but it is a day of national mourning for us.

Yunupingu

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 03 Apr 2023, 6:37 am

Noot! Noot!

Pingu

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 03 Apr 2023, 8:20 am

What the f*ck is this madness going on round here today.

I feel like it's the 90's and I'm on acid again.

by **Galted** Mon 03 Apr 2023, 8:32 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:What the f*ck is this madness going on round here today.

I feel like it's the 90's and I'm on acid again.

Just type a name under your post so it looks like a quote and you'll fit right in. I'd probably have inserted a question mark after 'today', but that's just me.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 03 Apr 2023, 8:56 am

F*ck you.

Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall.

by guildfordbat Mon 03 Apr 2023, 9:14 am

Just three days to the start of the season.

guildfordbat

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 03 Apr 2023, 9:15 am

Afternoon, all

Regards, Raymond Holt

by lostinwales Mon 03 Apr 2023, 11:28 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:F*ck you.

Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall.

Did a cooking course with him once. He comes across as a genuinely nice guy

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 03 Apr 2023, 11:43 am

That wasn't the response I was expecting.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 04 Apr 2023, 2:51 am

Shame about Nigella. Didn't like her 'cooking' (she was no Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall) but quite nice to look at.

Quite the career. Front benches to TV chef. RIP.

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