I am playing stableford comp on sun with a guy with a bit of a rep...

According to the assistant pro this guy got caught having a ham shank in the changing rooms a few years back and he has been ostracized by a large percentage of the club. I know him from doing his prescription that he has certain issues with his hormones but I had never heard this story. Anyway the lad is an embarrassment to the club but he has a good heart. Is there any protocol I should follow on Sunday apart from not using his towel to mop my sweaty brow. Any advice would be appreciated on this delicate matter.

Tarka, wasn't it you who posted about the assistant pro and some cream he needed? Your club is weird.

When you tee off just go in handicap order. Don't ask him to toss for it. Also don't offer advice to him. For instance if he is in the woods don't shout " I would knock one out if I was you!" Let's hope the Jerks off his game.

Don't compliment him on a good putt by saying Good Stroke, or commenting on a shot where he chokes down the shaft

Smithers, my club is great, but the assistant pro has just resigned, said it's due to having to work for little pay but no future etc, but I think there may be a news of the world style scandal about to be revealed. This is the guy who asked me for weight loss pills and when I gave him a medicine called orlistat (with this med any fatty foods consumed will result in an explosion of Hiroshima Proportions) and he ate a large steak and Stilton pastie and proceeded to destroy a new pair of white strombergs.
The club is great (Launceston golf club)

I have never cracked one off at the club but I have as a youngster in the disabled toilets at tescos and my all time "magic moment" under a waterfall in austria which will also rank as my highest chug at altitude

tarka wrote:I have never cracked one off at the club but I have as a youngster in the disabled toilets at tescos and my all time "magic moment" under a waterfall in austria which will also rank as my highest chug at altitude

Can someone translate this for me please? Or is it that I've wandered into the wrong Forum?

tarka wrote:...This is the guy who asked me for weight loss pills and when I gave him a medicine called orlistat (with this med any fatty foods consumed will result in an explosion of Hiroshima Proportions) and he ate a large steak and Stilton pastie and proceeded to destroy a new pair of white strombergs.
The club is great (Launceston golf club)

I assume he came to you with a prescription?

navyblueshorts wrote:

tarka wrote:...This is the guy who asked me for weight loss pills and when I gave him a medicine called orlistat (with this med any fatty foods consumed will result in an explosion of Hiroshima Proportions) and he ate a large steak and Stilton pastie and proceeded to destroy a new pair of white strombergs.
The club is great (Launceston golf club)

I assume he came to you with a prescription?

Navy, it is available OTC now, you weren't thinking of getting me in trouble now where you?

Tarka I've got to tell you mate, you crack me up!
Who needs the comedy channel!!

Good luck in your knock off, I mean up

MustPuttBetter wrote:Tarka I've got to tell you mate, you crack me up!
Who needs the comedy channel!!

Good luck in your knock off, I mean up

I might exagerate a tad or add a bit of VAT to a story but it's all done for a laff, I love my golf really, shooting up the rankings an' all but still playing off 22. I'm glad you appreciate my tales

tarka wrote:I have never cracked one off at the club but I have as a youngster in the disabled toilets at tescos and my all time "magic moment" under a waterfall in austria which will also rank as my highest chug at altitude

that could possibly be the funniest thing i have ever read.

thank you !

Tarka~ Did you finish Sundays round safe and sound?

tarka wrote:Smithers, my club is great, but the assistant pro has just resigned, said it's due to having to work for little pay but no future etc, but I think there may be a news of the world style scandal about to be revealed. This is the guy who asked me for weight loss pills and when I gave him a medicine called orlistat (with this med any fatty foods consumed will result in an explosion of Hiroshima Proportions) and he ate a large steak and Stilton pastie and proceeded to destroy a new pair of white strombergs.
The club is great (Launceston golf club)

Aha - Launceston was one of the Cornish options in the 'When is the next meet' thread along with Bude & North Cornwall and Trevose - would you be up for any of the events I mentioned. PS - bagsI don't share a room with 'NiftyThrifty' bloke you just mentioned

Expected this to be another thread about a bloke well known for kicking his ball out of the rough etc... this is much more interesting

Played the round without incident, was more concerned about my own game which amassed a measly 27pts. Btw, Launceston is only 1 mile from Devon over the border whereas trevose is another hOur into Cornwall (so another hour drive for you lot). Would be haPpy to sort out preferential green fees fOr my 606 v2 friends, normal green fees are a modest 30 quid but I can get fees for such viPs like you lot for £15. Clubhouse is great and I could sOrt something out at other clubs locally at cracking rates. As you can probably tell I am quite well known and got the chat to pull something off that wouldn't break the bank if anyone wanted to come down for a jolly. Would absolutely love it so this is ke officially putting the feelers out...

tarka wrote: I am quite well known and got the chat to pull something off

ahhh now the start of the thread makes a lot more sense

Nay Bother wrote:

tarka wrote: I am quite well known and got the chat to pull something off

ahhh now the start of the thread makes a lot more sense

No you read that wrong I am quite gentle

Do you think the 606v2 Tour will eventually replace the Trilby Tour?

We should have got JAS to wear a 606v2 badge on his t shirt,

tarka wrote:According to the assistant pro this guy got caught having a ham shank in the changing rooms a few years back and he has been ostracized by a large percentage of the club. I know him from doing his prescription that he has certain issues with his hormones but I had never heard this story. Anyway the lad is an embarrassment to the club but he has a good heart. Is there any protocol I should follow on Sunday apart from not using his towel to mop my sweaty brow. Any advice would be appreciated on this delicate matter.

Which grip did he use?