Henman Bill Can Be Number 1 Says Henman Bill

I can be number 1 says me.

Look at the indisputable salutationable FACTS:

1. I have NO points to defend. I can ONLY gain.
2. I have NEVER lost to any of the big 4. Not once.
3. I am also UNDEFEATED at grand slam events.
4. No-one has BEATEN me in 2 months.
5. While it is true that my serve was clocked at 60mph and was LESS that the woman who went before me, this only demonstrates CLEAR room for improvement.
6. In 2010, no-one was predicting Djokovic to be no 1 in 2011. Right now, no-one is predicting ME to be no 1. Coincidence? I doubt it.
7. At the age of 32, no-one can say my PEAK isn't ahead. Just now I SHOULD be hitting it.
8. While it is true that I once lost 6-0 6-0 6-0 to my younger brother, that was a LONG time ago and I have since GREATLY improved.
9. Every tennis coach I've ever come into contact with has instantly TRIED to change my GRIP. This shows that I AM a game changer, operating on a different plane.
10. Tennis is pretty easy in any case. Any FOOL can miss that NET.
11. The bookies are so SCARED they are NOT taking bets on me to be no 1. You can check any bookie you like. Count on it I won't appear in the list.
12. While is it true that I have regularly lost to lowly players, and lost a set to my work-mate who lobs on every point because he cannot hit a proper shot, these points do not count in my expert analysis, because I CLEVERLY just ignore them.
13. I went to Wimbledon last year and sat 2nd row, close enough to pick things up pretty fast.
14. Tim HENMAN was no 1 for over a year, and I have Henman in my name, so I CANNOT fail. As a back up my other name refers to BILL Tilden, who was also a bonafide best player in the world. Can you think of anyone else which such cosmic portents? Do you KNOW a Rafa Borg or a Roger Sampras - didn't think so.
15. This article has CAPITALS at increasingly semi-RANDOM junctions, a sure sign of a correct argument and a keen mind AT work. COUNT ON IT.
16. While this article will quite obviously be proven to be hideously WRONG, you will all have forgotten that by then and I will just ignore my FAILED predictions in future predictions.
17. I have undertaken high level consultations with Sugar Harris, helping not only my own game but giving me the INSIDE track ON my rivals.
20. Top level debaters know that if you have 20 points in YOUR favour, someone else would have to make 21 points AGAINST you to win. And I seriously DOUBT that anyone WILL and even if they do I will totally be arguing with them and KEEP spewing our incessant GARBAGE leading to INSULTS until they lose the WILL TO LIVE.

The more I think about it, it's just a question of time that I will get to 1. I could see it happening as early as the US Open. A wildcard at Monte Carlo and I will roll from there. Quite frankly speaking, if I don't get the wild card then they are running scared, have failed to take the challenge and morally I am the #1 already.

I accept that Berdych could be #2 at least and Murray #3 but to leave me out of the picture entirely is a joke. One thing we can be sure on those no hopers Djokovic, Nadal and Federer will certainly not get a look in. Once Berdych's mental strength, Murray's tantrums and my ferocious 60mph serves are unleashed upon them I doubt they will even stay in the top 100.

I assume the authorititititatatative tone of the article caused you to mark my words extremely judiciously as you went along however in the event that you haven't yet done any marking of my irrerefutable words NOW would BE a good time.

Chydremion can be world number one.

If he wins Monte Carlo in the 606v2 World Tour 2012 competition.

You lot all CAN, but I AM number one

@ HB , wow great attempt , nice and funny but I got tired reading it fully [ no idea how you wrote such a big one], but I still read it fully for 2 reasons , 1] to respect your effort and 2nd ] it was so funny.

Ha ha! If you can do it maybe Murray does have a chance. Just make sure you avoid playing any matches as that might spoil your stats.

Bill, you totally are number one already!

So that's how you got your name. I'd assumed you'd simply misspelt the hill bit.

You certainly talk a good game and that by itself gives you a clear psychological edge over Andy.

I went to Wimbledon last year and sat 2nd row, close enough to pick things up pretty fast.

Lol

take a bow son take a bow!

Henman Bill, the of 606!

crawl out son.....

I don't think you can, I'm afraid. You are not star material, that's it. Simples.

I like how it goes from 17 to 20 after you've made all the effort for the previous 17

Do I need to start locking and deleting articles to prevent a meltdown on 606v2?

Aaaah c'mon laverfan I want Henman Bill to be number one!

Josiah Maiestas wrote:I like how it goes from 17 to 20 after you've made all the effort for the previous 17

I had to remove points 18 and 19, as they were too clever by far, and would have gone over your head.

laverfan wrote:Do I need to start locking and deleting articles to prevent a meltdown on 606v2?

Probably. Just tell me which articles are causing the trouble and I will be right on over there to sort them out.

Hopefully you appreciate my article as an oasis of sanity in the chaos of 606.

Does this mean you're the GPOAT, Henman Bill? I think we should be told!

laverfan wrote:Do I need to start locking and deleting articles to prevent a meltdown on 606v2?

you do. it's going down the pan and fast thanks to low-grade contribution of certain posters.

noleisthebest wrote:

laverfan wrote:Do I need to start locking and deleting articles to prevent a meltdown on 606v2?

you do. it's going down the pan and fast thanks to low-grade contribution of certain posters.

There are plenty of Murray+Slam+#1 articles. The herd mentality is rather . I want to avoid heavy-handedness, if I can.

At this rate, I would expect every poster to claim GOATness because they have never been part of ATP. Or have they?

In the interest of balance, perhaps it could be said that there seems to be a cosy clique of posters on this board that churn the same articles repeatedly and kill any real debate by making the same bogus "points" in each new topic.

Not particularly appealing if you're a new poster!

reckoner wrote:In the interest of balance, perhaps it could be said that there seems to be a cosy clique of posters on this board that churn the same articles repeatedly and kill any real debate by making the same bogus "points" in each new topic.

Not particularly appealing if you're a new poster!

HB and HE, not that far away from each other, perhaps.

laverfan wrote:

reckoner wrote:In the interest of balance, perhaps it could be said that there seems to be a cosy clique of posters on this board that churn the same articles repeatedly and kill any real debate by making the same bogus "points" in each new topic.

Not particularly appealing if you're a new poster!

HB and HE, not that far away from each other, perhaps.

Perhaps not, when it comes to Muzzard, lol! Hey btw laverfan - it's your turn to do the cryptic clue, you know...

This article gives me hope. My prospects for ATP#2 rank never looked better!

10IS wrote: This article gives me hope. My prospects for ATP#2 rank never looked better!

I take it this means your conseding that Henman Bill is the better player?

hawkeye wrote:

10IS wrote: This article gives me hope. My prospects for ATP#2 rank never looked better!

I take it this means your conseding that Henman Bill is the better player?

HE, its a little more complex than that. i am looking at number 2 because I think HB is the best player in history just like Nadal thinks Federer is the best player in history...NO?

Who will be the eternal #4, HE, perhaps?

laverfan

You should set your sights higher. I understand that the number 1 and 2 positions are locked but why not aim for the number 3 spot? Just remember whatever you do don't try and play any actual matches...

hawkeye wrote:

10IS wrote: This article gives me hope. My prospects for ATP#2 rank never looked better!

I take it this means your conseding that Henman Bill is the better player?

Do you even have to ask? More and more people seem to be waking up and acknowledging the fact as my unbeaten run is now stretching into its third month. Yes, I admit the lack of recent visits to my tennis club which, incidentally, is packed to the rafters full of better players, is a contributory factor but let's gloss over that shall we?