My soon to be neighbour is......

First topic message reminder :

THE World Heavyweight Champion, Wladimir Klitschko.

I have just returned from Spain to sort out some legal issues with a holiday home that we are buying on the South East coast. There I was, minding my own business with the family having some dinner when who should wander in to the resturant, none other than Wladimir Klitschko and a few other chaps. I kid you not! There I was, pointing and gesticulating frantically to Mrs Windows about the Heavyweight Champion of the World walking into the same room as us, whereas she was more concerned about ordering another glass of Vino. Her loss. Unfortunately, the young blood actress he hangs around with was no-where to be seen.

I have to say, he was an absolute gentleman, even though he was trying to eat his dinner, and he didn't refuse a single autograph or picture, me included, despite the menacing looks some of his entourage were giving off. He happily smiled and chatted, even though some people clearly didn't know who he was until the Chinese whispers went round the resturant. He is one large unit, even bigger than he looks on the TV, but a genuinely pleasant individual and it was so bizarre for me, being a boxing fan, to be eating in the same place as him. It made my holiday.

Anyway, it turns out he has a villa on the same urbanization that we are buying on. It is on the other side of the estate, but he is basically a part-time neighbour of mine. I knew Wladimir had spent time in Spain, but I didn't know he had a place there. He was over in Ibiza and one of the other Islands but his home is on the mainland. Apparently Vitali turned up the next day with his family but I didn't see him. It is only a matter of time before me and Wlad become bessie mates and I carry his belts into the ring before a fight.

Me and Wladimir Klitschko  

They go there to avoid the Brits Tina. You and Dave will drive them elsewhere.

milkyboy wrote:They go there to avoid the Brits Tina. You and Dave will drive them elsewhere.

Dave certainly will, milky.

Who on earth wants to holiday with a pasty, tattooed Yorkshireman bursting out of his MEGADEATH t-shirt.

I've never really fancied spain ever since a week in Puerto Banus / Marbella. Seemed a bit to Brit orientated and too much building work going on. I am surprised that they have more top rated restaurants than any other country in the world though - i think it was 3 or 4 in the top 10 the last time i looked.

Does anyone really think Michelin star restaurants are nicer than your local take away, other than those who like to be posh. I defy anyone to find me a nicer meal than a chicken madras pizza, chicken madras curry, chilli nan, rice and meat somosa. Nice romantic meal for 2.

seanmichaels wrote:I've never really fancied spain ever since a week in Puerto Banus / Marbella. Seemed a bit to Brit orientated and too much building work going on. I am surprised that they have more top rated restaurants than any other country in the world though - i think it was 3 or 4 in the top 10 the last time i looked.

Depends where you go, seany.  Just like anywhere.

Brits abroad is inevitable, but the South East coast is heavily populated by holidaying Spanish and it doesn't feel like you are surrounded by burnt, sweaty Brits all the time.

There is always unfinished building work going on, that is the Spanish 'manana' attitude.  They won't do anything today that they can put off till tomorrow, unless you badger them repeatedly.  Plus the the country is skint and they can't afford to finish anything.  If you can embrace that manana spirit though, South East Spain is lovely.  Great food, great climate, relatively few Brits.  Just have to get your head round the fact that if you ask for some butter with your bread in a resturant, you are quite likely to get it after your dessert when one of them can be bothered.

I thought about buying a holiday home in France, but then I remembered it was full of the French.

Lumbering_Jack wrote:Does anyone really think Michelin star restaurants are nicer than your local take away, other than those who like to be posh.

I do and if that qualifies me as trying to be posh it will be the first time I have been described as posh in my 40 years on the planet

Wouldn't expect anything different from someone extolling the virtues of Kavos and Malia......

Isn't it all about Magaluf or Shagaluf nowadays?

Going to Amsterdam for the weekend with a few mates in the next few months.

AlexHuckerby wrote:

Going to Amsterdam for the weekend with a few mates in the next few months.

Even though I only know you through this forum, Alex, I am deeply concerned about you out there.

Do be careful.

 

TopHat24/7 wrote:Wouldn't expect anything different from someone extolling the virtues of Kavos and Malia......

Maybe I can join you for some caviar and champagne?

My folks have a place in Fueteventura (sp?), is a lovely place. Fantastic weather, not too many scummy Brits around, relatively cheap and good food.

Caviar is over-rated.....

Never eaten at a pizza hut...

TopHat24/7 wrote:Caviar is over-rated.....

Presumably by over-rated, you mean effing disgusting...

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Fists of Fury wrote:Tino, that's interesting as I'm off to that exact part of Spain a week on Friday. A place called Los Altos.

Wonder if the big man will still be around? Sounds like a great experience, not every day you get to meet the heavweight champion of the world, though it may become more frequent for you!

It was both surreal and amazing in equal measures, Fists.  Hopefully I will meet him again but I have no idea how often he goes to his home in Spain.  I will have to root through his bins and find some information!

Los Altos is lovely, mate.  We actually looked at a couple of places there before settling on Guardamar.  It has a bit of everything if you want some peace and quiet on the beach or some partying in Torrevieja.  Dave will be able to tell you more about the town as he has an apartment there, but I do know that a lot of the Spainish holiday there themselves so they must be on to something.  

Yeah, been there a few times previously, Tino. Missus parents have an apartment at Dream Hills in Los Altos. Decent little place. Usually makes for a relaxing week with plenty of good food and guaranteed sun, apart from that time I over indulged in the stock exchange night at the bushwhackers bar on the Caboroig strip.

How come so many people on here have holiday apartments? Didn't realise the Boxing board so was affluent. I feel a bit out of place.

Il Gialloblu wrote:How come so many people on here have holiday apartments? Didn't realise the Boxing board so was affluent. I feel a bit out of place.

It is the rewards of the hard grind that is the 9-5 of this forum.

People who post on Internet forums earn on average 6 times the wage of the average Brit. They are also much hader too.

Il Gialloblu wrote:How come so many people on here have holiday apartments? Didn't realise the Boxing board so was affluent. I feel a bit out of place.

If it makes you feel any better I certainly don't have one, obviously I get use of the forum villa in Florida Adam bought with the advertising revenue but not sure that counts.

Rowley wrote:

Il Gialloblu wrote:How come so many people on here have holiday apartments? Didn't realise the Boxing board so was affluent. I feel a bit out of place.

If it makes you feel any better I certainly don't have one, obviously I get use of the forum villa in Florida Adam bought with the advertising revenue but not sure that counts.

Technically speaking I don't have one yet, either.

Lumbering_Jack wrote:They are also much hader too.

Unless they suffer from erectile dysfunction.

P.S. I'm 35 and don't have a holiday home.

superflyweight wrote:

P.S. I'm 35 and don't have a holiday home.  

 

You're a lawyer, you could afford one.

Although you're also Scottish so even tighter than Jeff.

Missus's mother just sold the house in France so i'll be paying for holidays again. 40% tax she's paying on the sale! Bloody French socialists.

Maybe jeff and I could club together and buy a shed on the Isle of Man?

superflyweight wrote:Maybe jeff and I could club together and buy a shed on the Isle of Man?  

I'm not leaving Yorkshire superfly, make it Scarborough and we could have a deal.

I love Scarborough.

Last time we were there, one of the kids was having a donkey ride on the beach when the donkey stopped and did a massive turd on the sand. The little'un got a free ride for the inconvenience.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I love Scarborough.

Last time we were there, one of the kids was having a donkey ride on the beach when the donkey stopped and did a massive turd on the sand.  The little'un got a free ride for the inconvenience.

... and the good people of Scarborough ate that night!

Fists of Fury wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:Caviar is over-rated.....

Presumably by over-rated, you mean effing disgusting...

Basically, yes. Have never understood the attraction at all (other than show-off value, maybe?) - tastes unpleasant enough but the texture is the killer for me, utterly revolting.

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Maybe jeff and I could club together and buy a shed on the Isle of Man?  

I'm not leaving Yorkshire superfly, make it Scarborough and we could have a deal.

Make it a waffle stand in Whitby and count me in. Whitby is the thinking man's Scarborough, has a better crazy golf course and is easier for me to get to. Certainly easier than my last ill advised holiday home in Canada... Which I went to twice, one as it was being built, and one to check they'd finished it.

milkyboy wrote:

Make it a waffle stand in Whitby and count me in. Whitby is the thinking man's Scarborough, has a better crazy golf course and is easier for me to get to. Certainly easier than my last ill advised holiday home in Canada... Which I went to twice, one as it was being built, and one to check they'd finished it.

Too many weirdo vampire fans in Whitby, milky. Great fish and chips though.

Canada? Why the hell would you buy a holiday home so far away?

A good question tina and one i asked myself repeatedly!

I was investing in property at the time, so factored in rental and capital returns. Nearly bought in Spain. Saw the volume of both unfinished and unoccupied apartments at the time. Had a rethink... at the time there were budget airline flights from Gatwick to Montreal for a few hundred quid and an hours drive got you to the apartment.. On a golf resort 5 mins from a ski resort... In a country with a stable economy. I'm a skier and a golfer as is my mate who I talked into going in on the deal.

One year later, he's married with a kid on the way, I've moved out of London. The rentals haven't materialised as well as they should because the us visitors dried up as their economy went belly up. So we bailed out. Actually, without losing any cash. A few lessons learnt!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

milkyboy wrote:

Make it a waffle stand in Whitby and count me in. Whitby is the thinking man's Scarborough, has a better crazy golf course and is easier for me to get to. Certainly easier than my last ill advised holiday home in Canada... Which I went to twice, one as it was being built, and one to check they'd finished it.

Too many weirdo vampire fans in Whitby, milky.  Great fish and chips though.

Canada?  Why the hell would you buy a holiday home so far away?

Weirdo Vampire fans... In Whitby?

Am I missing some joke here?

May I suggest you read a few more books Alex.

Rowley wrote:May I suggest you read a few more books Alex.

Indeed. You would have thought his HR coffee mornings would have covered the subject matter.

Whitby, the home of Captain Cook, is famous for it's vampires. Bram Strokers Dracula was filmed there.

Spent many a holiday weekend there as a kid as my grandparents lived in Saltburn, just up the coast.

Bah, Vampires are crap.

milkyboy wrote:A good question tina and one i asked myself repeatedly!

I was investing in property at the time, so factored in rental and capital returns. Nearly bought in Spain. Saw the volume of both unfinished and unoccupied apartments at the time. Had a rethink... at the time there were budget airline flights from Gatwick to Montreal for a few hundred quid and an hours drive got you to the apartment.. On a golf resort 5 mins from a ski resort... In a country with a stable economy. I'm a skier and a golfer as is my mate who I talked into going in on the deal.

One year later, he's married with a kid on the way, I've moved out of London. The rentals haven't materialised as well as they should because the us visitors dried up as their economy went belly up. So we bailed out. Actually, without losing any cash. A few lessons learnt!

Sound principles, milky. Can't get it right all the time!

Canada send shivers down my spine. Too close to the in-laws!

Great amusement arcades, from memory, and, re the earlier fish & chips comment, there was a place called the Black Crow or the Magpie or similar which had the best I've ever tasted! Only fish they had was caught the night before and landed that morning.

Mum hated it though as she's a vegetarian and they still fried the chips properly - in dripping!!

Ask him why he's ducking me despite my near relentless twitter based harassment.

Also I've never owned a holiday home in Spain but I did once have a car crash there. Turned out the lorry that caused it had the 4 kings in the cabin. It was only after I'd got out of the car with a head of steam, enraged at their dangerous driving and looking for revenge that I realised I'd knocked out Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Hearns was all like, "Hey man can you train me for the Shuler fight?" and I said "Sure! But just this one."
Then I shagged Gwyneth Paltrow who lost a piece of jewelry within the deep dents of my six pack.
*guitar solo*
OUT

TopHat24/7 wrote:Whitby, the home of Captain Cook, is famous for it's vampires.  Bram Strokers Dracula was filmed there.

Spent many a holiday weekend there as a kid as my grandparents lived in Saltburn, just up the coast.

Saltburn, the surf capital of the north. Has a thriving little promenade these days toppy, not to mention a pier adorned with knitting.

haha I haven't been back for years Milky! My grandma died about 6 or 7 years ago which was my last connection to the place. Still have family in Stockton mind, including a soon to be born niece/god-daughter, so maybe I'll pop in when I'm up next in a couple of weeks.

John Bloody Wayne wrote:Ask him why he's ducking me despite my near relentless twitter based harassment.

Also I've never owned a holiday home in Spain but I did once have a car crash there. Turned out the lorry that caused it had the 4 kings in the cabin. It was only after I'd got out of the car with a head of steam, enraged at their dangerous driving and looking for revenge that I realised I'd knocked out Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Hearns was all like, "Hey man can you train me for the Shuler fight?" and I said "Sure! But just this one."
Then I shagged Gwyneth Paltrow who lost a piece of jewelry within the deep dents of my six pack.
*guitar solo*
OUT

Stirring my porridge jbw? What gwyneth lacked in talent she made up for with enthusiasm. Kylie gave better head though it has to be said. As for losing a piece of jewellery in your six pack, thats nothing, girls have lost their handbags in rowley's.

John Bloody Wayne wrote:Ask him why he's ducking me despite my near relentless twitter based harassment.

Also I've never owned a holiday home in Spain but I did once have a car crash there. Turned out the lorry that caused it had the 4 kings in the cabin. It was only after I'd got out of the car with a head of steam, enraged at their dangerous driving and looking for revenge that I realised I'd knocked out Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Hearns was all like, "Hey man can you train me for the Shuler fight?" and I said "Sure! But just this one."
Then I shagged Gwyneth Paltrow who lost a piece of jewelry within the deep dents of my six pack.
*guitar solo*
OUT

That made milk come out of my nose and I'm drinking water....conclusion....I just had a nose orgasim.

Small Time, are you Gwyn?

Hearns was all like, "Hey man can you train me for the Shuler fight?" and I said "Sure! But just this one."
Then I shagged Gwyneth Paltrow

So just how old was Gwyneth at the time?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Seems a bit "Jimmy Savile" to me

Yeah, you just keep on obeying the laws of time.
Nerd.