Boxing talk explained for Beginners !!

Never easy for a kid to grasp what the Commentators are saying ......So rather than them get disenchanted and follow Synchronised swimming instead.....Here is a general guide to what Commentators mean when they use certain Boxing jingo...

"Honest Workman" - Perennial loser that gets slapped around a lot..But the Commentator likes him anyway..

"He did land a few shots in that round though Jim" - Generally means biased Commentator is making a case for the home fighter to be gifted a round.

"He's spoiling a lot" - Means that the away fighter by not going down easy is irritating the Commentator....

"He got some good rounds under his belt" - Means the home fighter is too useless to stop a guy he should be banging out....

"He wants to win this belt for his dead Mum" - Means the Commentator wants this guy to win......

"But so and so is a great referee" - Means he knows the ref screwed up but because the home fighter won let's forget about it!!"

Hope this helps any newbies..

Teak tough - I've never seen him box or heard of his opponents so have nothing real to say but he hasn't been knocked out.

His opponent is tricky - Home fighter is struggling more than he should.

You could make a case for him based on aggression - he didn't land anything but he did walk forward.

Determined - Useless.

Rugged - unskilled.

It's better one punch too early than one punch too late - the fight was fixed, but I'll play on the violence of the sport to make you feel guilty for wanting the fight to carry on.

'Its life Jim, but not as we know it', the journeyman opponent appears to have been in a few wars

'It's worse than that he's dead Jim'... Those wars and a lack of any semblance of coordination, is giving the journeyman a zombie like appearance.

'There's Klingons on the starboard bow' ok I'm getting carried away, time to beam me up Scottie.

"They'reeee jast Arrruuuummmmm panches Ieeeeaaaann"

Means that the travelling fighter gets no praise at all for the shots hes throwing. Even though Burns....sorry, the home fighter is just laying on the ropes doing nothing with a guard up.

Why do I get the feeling you're thinking of a certain Sky commentator when you mention all this, Truss?

"Teak tough (insert nationality here)." = "Never heard of his lad, but he comes from an underdeveloped country so is probably nails." One for Scott, there.

"Awesome power." = "This man has just knocked out a man who any decent operator in his weight class would have likewise knocked out."

"The home town crowd are really cheering their hero on here, and lifting him!" = "The home town fighter is losing, but hopefully the judges will be kind and give him some rounds because he's fighting at home, which is only fair!"

"I don't know how much (insert the away, non-British fighter here) can take of this, it's all getting too much for him!" = "Come on, our lad - spark him!"

Excellent stuff....  

"He beat Ricky Hatton and Carl Froch in the Amatuers so he is world class....."

(Has a pro record of 4-23-4 or something like that)

Hahahaha funny stuff guys.

Teak Tough and Awesome Power spring to mind!!

Arm punches is another one, really frustrating.

Imagine if Ian Darke or whatever Jim Watts co commentator is, teamed up with that pathetic excuse for a commentator on channel 5....you know...the former world champion from Telford...best mates with Calzaghe....big Richie.

Remember when Fury was getting taken apart by Cunningham....and Fury was winning after 5 rounds...even though he had been knocked down and had a poi t taken off haha. Funny.

Kell Brook fights generate A LOT of the above comments you guys have kindly posted!!

Warrior - No defence.

Teddy Atlas is the best.

When a fight gets tasty he gets more and more animated I just love it.

Remember him commentating on ODLH v Quarty. Oscar had his man pinned up against the ropes throwing shot after shot and Teddy ''You can stop the fight whenever you like ref''

love it.

''He has'nt read the script'' - Some un favoured fighter has lasted longer then expected and putting up a good show.

mobilemaster8 wrote:Kell Brook fights generate A LOT of the above comments you guys have kindly posted!!

"He's certainly lived up to his 'Special K' billing tonight!" - "He dominated, but I'll neglect to mention that it was against the same class of opponent that he was already dominating three years ago when he was supposed to be about to gatecrash the world title picture."

"That was a former world champion he was in there with, and he's just totally wiped him out!" - "Belts aren't worth as much these days, particularly when the ex-champion in question actually held one about nine years ago, but there are always gullible types out there who will be awed by the title 'world champion.'

"I wonder what the likes of Amir Khan or Shawn Porter must be thinking as they watch this!" = "I'm trying to give the impression that Brook is being avoided by all the big names at Welter and that seeing Brook take apart Carson Jones (well, at the second time of asking anyway) or Alvaro Robles will only strengthen Khan and Porter's resolve to avoid him at all costs."

"He beat him quicker than so and so" - Usually means that back in the old days when this guy could fight a little he gave a top fighter a few rounds !!

Can't attribute it to any one commentator or network in particular, but the way that any fight with a decent level of action is automatically referred to as a "great fight" gets my goat. "It's like Hagler-Hearns in there!" No it isn't. Every fight is apparently a barnstormer now.

Never been stopped - He delays his losses.

"This guy's experience at a higher level may prove vital" = the home fighter is facing someone who would have mopped the floor with him a few years ago, however he's now sufficnently past it so as to look good on his resume, but the reality is he should have retired 5 fights ago.

"Brilliant by Groves" - Jim Watt ignoring the other guy landing his own punches and winning the round.

"I have it close for Burns" - Jim Watt wrong as it's a near shut out for the other guy

"How much has Froch left in tank, he's fighting on instinct" - Jim Watt before the trench shagging warrior comes storming back

Izzi wrote:"Brilliant by Groves" - Jim Watt ignoring the other guy landing his own punches and winning the round.

"I have it close for Burns" - Jim Watt wrong as it's a near shut out for the other guy

"How much has Froch left in tank, he's fighting on instinct" - Jim Watt before the trench shagging warrior comes storming back

Ooooohh, you nearly managed to write an entire comment without alluding to your dislike of Groves there, mate. Nearly.

88Chris05 wrote:

Izzi wrote:"Brilliant by Groves" - Jim Watt ignoring the other guy landing his own punches and winning the round.

"I have it close for Burns" - Jim Watt wrong as it's a near shut out for the other guy

"How much has Froch left in tank, he's fighting on instinct" - Jim Watt before the trench shagging warrior comes storming back

Ooooohh, you nearly managed to write an entire comment without alluding to your dislike of Groves there, mate. Nearly.

  

Reborn-DeeMcK-Reborn wrote:

88Chris05 wrote:

Izzi wrote:"Brilliant by Groves" - Jim Watt ignoring the other guy landing his own punches and winning the round.

"I have it close for Burns" - Jim Watt wrong as it's a near shut out for the other guy

"How much has Froch left in tank, he's fighting on instinct" - Jim Watt before the trench shagging warrior comes storming back

Ooooohh, you nearly managed to write an entire comment without alluding to your dislike of Groves there, mate. Nearly.

  

I dislike Burns equally as much.

But moving on.

"This guy is unknown but is in shape" - he works out in the gym and has been pulled from the crowd to face Kell Brook in a final final final sub final final eliminator

A wealth of experience - He is ten years older than God.

"This is a learning fight" - Got battered for 8 rounds and robbed the journeyman on the scorecards.

''you got a tight a$$, has anyone ever told you that you got a tight a$$''

"I haven't seen this type of defence since ONETWO defended the whole American Olympic Team single handed in London in 2012"

"He needs to start throwing punches in bunches". Whoever Floyd is fighting is being countered all to hell and is struggling to get his shots off to the extent that he's now just aimlessly hanging about in the middle of the ring throwing occassional jabs that look like a blind man trying to find his coffee mug on an unfamiliar shelf.

Not a commentary quote, but TBA -"No we don't have a fighter yet, but rest assured he's been beaten from pillar to post in his career"

"Xxx is obviously struggling against the pressure from the home fighter" - This Xxx is about to get robbed, but rest assured we're preparing you for this by subliminally implanting the idea that he's being schooled"...
My favorite though goes along the lines of "He doesn't have the record, but anytime you get into the ring with a Mexican, you're in a war" - If I market this Tijuana taxi driver well enough, I can convince you that fighter X must be god to have knocked out this guy.

Reborn-DeeMcK-Reborn wrote:"I haven't seen this type of defence since ONETWO defended the whole American Olympic Team single handed in London in 2012"

True story

'Its tough to split them but I liked his work better' I can't find any legitimate reason to give the round to the home guy, so I'll use 'liking his work' as scoring criteria.

'He's using educated pressure' - he was expelled from school at 8 and doesn't have two brain cells to rub together but he 'a battering the sheet out of the opponent, so who's the stupid one?

'Its a tactical fight' -will some f***er please throw a punch sometime soon

'Its a bit of a chess match' - I'm going to cut my wrists.... Will some f***er pleeeeaaaase throw a punch sometime soon

'He's gone' - nope, he's still there, getting the poopie kicked out of him

" We haven't seen much of this guy but reportedly he can bang a bit"..................if he ever lands a punch.

"Honest pro"..................prides himself on his ability to take a beating (a Jim Watt favourite).

"Wow! yeah!, hell this is unbelievable! just sensational, a ridiculous talent!!!!.............Showtime commentators when Floyd lands a range finding left jab."

Strongback wrote:" We haven't seen much of this guy but reportedly he can bang a bit"..................if he ever lands a punch.

"Honest pro"..................prides himself on his ability to take a beating (a Jim Watt favourite).

"Wow! yeah!, hell this is unbelievable! just sensational, a ridiculous talent!!!!.............Showtime commentators when Floyd lands a range finding left jab."

Allegedly Eddie hires the Commentators for Showtime !!  

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:

Strongback wrote:" We haven't seen much of this guy but reportedly he can bang a bit"..................if he ever lands a punch.

"Honest pro"..................prides himself on his ability to take a beating (a Jim Watt favourite).

"Wow! yeah!, hell this is unbelievable! just sensational, a ridiculous talent!!!!.............Showtime commentators when Floyd lands a range finding left jab."

Allegedly Eddie hires the Commentators for Showtime !!  

Edward isn't involved Bunny got the gig.

"Hes gone! His legs have gone!" - a punch made it through the guard. Legs invariably havent gone.

" The opponent has a head made entirely of flesh and is currently distracted by an endless stream of roses pouring from his mouth. The stars are drizzling through the roof and I cannot feel my toes so I'm gooing to suck on somebody else's. The air tastes of meat." - The commentator has ingested powerful hallucinagens and will be fired once he's stoPped holding his head and screaming.

"Close fight" another commentator has ingested the same hallucinagens and is watching the home fighter take a pasting.

Scottrf wrote:
It's better one punch too early than one punch too late - the fight was fixed, but I'll play on the violence of the sport to make you feel guilty for wanting the fight to carry on.

This is a good one. I always hear it being trotted out and it makes me feel like a bloodthirsty caveman.

'Its a defensive masterclass'. The audience is asleep and the commentator is jabbing his knee with a fork to stay awake

'Some of those body shots are slipping a bit low' - ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"Sometimes I call 999 jjust to feel a firemans's embrace" - commentator thinks we've gone to ad break.

"He looks about ready to take his opponent in a firm yet tender hold, before working together to achieve many orgasms together. Not that there's anything wrong with that." - the commentator is willing to digress to show his liberal credentials, after allegations were made regarding use of a certain word

"His won every round comfortably but he's been caught with a right hand"his opponent has had the audacity to throw a punch
and try to fight back.
"His started at a fast pace but,will he pay for it in the later rounds" If he runs out of steam I've covered my a$$e if it happens.

HAHAHAHA Rowley!

This post is a cracker, proper put a smile on my grid. Cant think of many more because they have all been used!!

"I'm giving you one more round" The cornerman explains he is only willing to watch his fighter take 3-9 more minutes of an already horrific beating.

"Are you going to retire now?" The post fight interviewer asks the ex great, and now shopworn geriatric if he is willing to go to Australia or Bristol to continue fighting.

"He needs a knockout" he's losing miserably and he's needed a knockout since round 8.

"The challenger didn't do quite enough to rip the belt away from the champion" when the fight was made he had no chance of winning, his best bet is to rip the belt away as the champion goes for a urine in his changing room.

This editing is pretty sharp.

I didn't realize Pi%s was an abusive word, "Urine changes the whole syntax, what was previously a mildly funny statement, now makes me look like a decent sized weirdo.

"Remember in heavyweight boxing it only takes one punch to change the whole fight" Commentator trying to make out that the local bouncer who somehow got a mandatory shot at Wlad has a hope of winning after getting beat and toyed with for 6 hug, lean, jab and right hand filled rounds.

"Chavez not having it all his way" - My god is this kid being smashed, Its like his trying to break the guy's hands with his head.

"His power was not something we had prepared for. His power really surprised us. I mean REALLY surprised us"

This guy is on PEDS

"I'm not making excuses....." = "I'm about to offer up or allude to a load of excuses as to why I lost."

'I don't want to give him a payday'  -   He's got my number

'The bell went ding and I went dong' - I punched him before the round started.

FRINGE WORLD CLASS....

If there's a huge get together and everyone who ever boxed turned up but then they were all killed when the building collapsed, this guy would probably get a decent ranking out of it

DAVE667 wrote:FRINGE WORLD CLASS....

If there's a huge get together and everyone who ever boxed turned up but then they were all killed when the building collapsed, this guy would probably get a decent ranking out of it

God love you Davey.

'Outside the ring he is a humble and down to earth bloke' - Has criminal record and is well known for getting drunk a lot