Best/worst excuses for calling off?

I was adding a story about Scott Macleod to another thread when I had one of those flashback moments.
I don't even know if Scott was still playing for Hawick in Premiership 1 in Scotland at the time but there was a story about Hawick's first choice hooker (whose name escapes me but who was absolurtely chuffing enormous and had hands like shovels) but who called off a league game once because .... he was having his hair permed that lunchtime.
This story has been confirmed from several sources but let's hear the "best" excuses you/your pals have put forward when waking up with the hangover from hell and not fancying freezing to death while getting beaten by 50 points.

I remember I once played for Tondu U16 and I came in and half the team was throwing up and hung over, guys were literally being sick on the changing room floor after one of the boys birthdays, lol.

We went away and stuffed this valleys side regardless. I think the opposition were in a worse state though!