Random Thoughts.....

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Got to say I felt sorry for John Cena at Survivor Series. I mean the Rock comes back, does his thing and has the people eating out of his palm whilst Jumpin’ John has got to stand there and take it. You could almost see a little bit of John Cena die on the inside.

WWE have their work cut out for them if they want to portray Cena as being anywhere near the Rock’s level come Wrestlemania. They seem to be intent on pointing out the differences between Cena and the Rock, but instead of making them look like different guys on the same level it’s making the Rock look like an awesome, huge superstar and Cena look like a clueless bell-end jobber.

If they keep this up it could be the biggest mismatch in WWE since Lita tried taking on a microphone.

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CM Punk once again became WWE champion at Survivor Series. Besides the fact that he’s the hottest babyface WWE have right now the story goes that bigwigs want Punk to be champion when RAW heads to Chicago next month. On the surface, it looks as if WWE want CM Punk to come to Chicago as the all conquering champion who returns to a hero’s welcome.

Given their somewhat spotty record when it comes to wrestlers and their home towns though, they could be setting up Punk to join the Kiss My Ass Club. I bet Vince would love it if he could do that;

“You like to drop pipebombs huh Punk?! Well, I like to drop my pants!”


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Sin Cara is going to be sidelined for between 6 to 9 months after injuring himself at Survivor Series. Fortunately WWE have a ready made replacement to take on the role of the high flyer that wows the crowd with his dazzling manoeuvres:

The Big Show.

After his scintillating, Savage-esque top rope elbow drop, Show is primed to reinvent himself as an aerial artiste. Then finally, FINALLY we might get to see the moonsault that we were deprived of seeing 14 years ago in WCW by Kevin Nash’s ‘heart attack’.

At this rate Big Show will be on the radar of Dragon Gate.


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Speaking of the Big Show, I’ve got a feeling that he’ll have one more match with Mark Henry for the World title at the Tables, Ladders and Chairs pay per view. As awesome as a TLC match would be between the two, I’ve got a feeling they’ll make it a Stretcher match.

There haven’t been many Stretcher matches in the WWE, but the second one did give us the awesome visual of Brock Lesnar tearing around in a forklift truck. The only way WWE can top that is to have Mark Henry commandeer a freighter, crash it straight into the arena and use the on-board crane to lift the stretcher laden with the Big Show past the winning line.

Mark Henry skippering a boat would be all kinds of win.


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Does anyone know why CM Punk refers to John Laurinaitis as ‘Funkman’? If he called him the ‘Dynamic Dude’ or ‘Mrs. Baba’s Boy’ I could understand it but ‘Funkman’??? Does Punk think that John Laurinaitis was the man behind the Flash Funk gimmick or something?

That could work actually, so next week on RAW let’s get John Laurinaitis out in a garish jumpsuit, dancing along with the Funkettes. Book it now!

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Jumpin’ John Cena caused the split of Awesome Truth with a few choice words this past Monday, which was lame. In reality, Rampant Ronnie Killings was done for littering and......littering and.......littering and.......smoking the reefer! (Super Troopers represent yo). So he got to wrestle the main event of Survivor Series but was then hit with a 30 day suspension.

So the Miz will go on and feud with CM Punk for the WWE title whilst Truth faces an uncertain future. Will they turn him face when he returns? Will they keep him up near the top of the card as a heel? Or will he slide down to jobber status before being wished well in his future endeavours?

If I were R-Truth I’d give Billy Whatshisname a call to see if he can afford to pay Lex Luger to wrestle Ron at SuperBrawl. Super Saturday. I don’t even know what it’s called. What’s it called? SuperBrawl Saturday?

I DON’T KNOOOOOOOOW!


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A mysterious promo aired on RAW this week, stating that somebody was coming back to reclaim what’s theirs. Rumours abound as to who this figure could be. The Undertaker? Chris Jericho? Jefferson Impact? Nope it ain’t them.

Word is that these promos will mark the return of the Anonymous RAW General Manager, and he/she is p*ssed at John Laurinaitis for taking his/her spot. The plan is for all of this to culminate in a Ladder match between the two at Wrestlemania 28 for control of RAW. The laptop has the edge in terms of speed, agility, technical ability and charisma but Laurinaitis does have a skateboard. It’s too close to call.

Johnny Ace fighting a laptop would rule from a very great height.


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Kein Nash’s last few promos have been pretty damn good. Shame they’re going to ruin it all by having him wrestle. I reckon WWE should just keep booking Nash and Triple H to take each other out, they don’t ever need to have a match.

The only way I want to see these two face off is in a ‘Last Quad Attached’ match. ‘The Game-uhh’ and ‘Big Sexy Hair’ go at it until one man has blown both his quads. To be fair it wouldn’t last long; Nash would tear his first quad by climbing up the ring steps, Triple H would tear a quad doing his water-spitting routine, then after an hellacious 12 seconds Nash’s other quad would go as he flicked his hair back. Triple H would then tear his other quad raising his arms in victory.

The commentators would harp on about how it was the greatest, most brutal match in the history of the business, call Triple H the best ever and claim that Nash has nice hair and it’s his natural colour.

Job done.


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There’s a story going around that Vince McMahon is considering joining Twitter. I seriously hope he does because there’s no way he could deal with the 140 character limit:

“Good morning WWE Universe. I’m Vince McMahon, posting for the first time on Twitter. Tonight RAW emanates LIVE from the world’s most famous arena Madison Square Garde”

“Not sure what happened there. That was meant to say Madison Square Garden. Anyway, we’ve got a great show lined up for you all tonight; the arena is sold out so you’ll only”

“What the hell? It cut me off again! I was about to say that if you want to watch RAW the only way you’ll see it is on the USA Network at 8pm. All your favourite WWE Superstars wi”

“GODAMMIT THAT’S THE THIRD TIME! I’M VINCE McMAHON DAMMIT! WHO’S IN CHARGE HERE?!?! GET ME THE GENERAL MANAGER OF TWITTER! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION! WHERE’S THE EXECUTI”

“DAMMIT THAT’S ENOUGH! GET ME THE EXECUTIVE VICE-PRESIDENT OF TWITTER RELATIONS! THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR! DAMMIT I’M VINCE McMAHON! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I CREATED WRES”

“DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMN YOU PEOPLE! DAMN YOU ALL TO HE”

~This account has been closed~


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TNA need to have a continuity editor in place to stop them from doing ricockulous things that undermine any of the good work they do.

For example, James Storm did a really good job of looking like a bad ass when he was hunting who took him out (unplugging Mr. Anderson’s X-Box being a highlight) then when he was headed to the ring to call out the guy he thought was behind it he was all smiles and acting a bit goofy “Y’all watch this! Yuk-yuk-yuk!”

Same with Velvet Sky, when she came out for the Gauntlet match she was smiling away like a loon when she should have just walked out and gone straight in the ring to whoop some ass, you know p*ssed off that she’d lost her title. And she was smiling again after she got eliminated.

TNA (and to be fair, WWE as well) need someone who goes over the script if it’s a live show or looks at the taped shows and says “Wait a friggin’ minute, that makes no sense”. Otherwise it’s going to get to the point where Kurt Angle is going around looking for Kurt Angle because Kurt Angle said that Kurt Angle was the one who cost Kurt Angle the title at the last pay per view.


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Dunno about you but I’m getting fed up with all these pull apart brawls that are taking place in TNA. We got another one courtesy of Bobby Roode and AJ Styles on the latest (Jefferson) Impact.

If it keeps going at this rate TNA are going to need to hire more ex-wrestlers to break these brawls up because D-Lo Brown? and Al Snow can’t be expected to keep up with the pace. Maybe they could have different guys appear every week in a guest star role? One week it could be Demolition (complete with face paint but regular street clothes) then you could have Buff Bagwell and El Dandy, then Braden Walker and Nidia and so on.

‘Tis the way to go, to be sure.


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Garett (it’s only one ‘r’ people) Bischoff made it 46-0 when the undefeated maverick renegade obliterated Gunner this past week on (Jefferson) Impact. This kid’s got it all; the look, the size, the technical ability, charisma that’s off the scale and nice slacks. The only thing he’s missing is an awesome entrance theme. His current one sounds like it was performed by a bunch of drunken hillbillies. Although to be fair, all TNA themes probably ARE performed by drunken hillbillies.

I propose that he takes on a remix of 2 Unlimited’s ‘No Limit’. Altogether now:

“GA-RETT! GA-RETT BISCH-OFF! GA-RETT BISCH-OFF! GARETT, GA-RETT BISCH-OFF!”

Repeat ad nauseum and you have an entrance theme that’s up there with ‘Real American’, ‘Also Sprach Zarathustra’ and ‘Don’t Treat Me Like A Woman’ as being absolute classics.


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Crimson and Matt Morgan are your new TNA tag team champions after defeating LAX...sorry Mexican America. These two have a combined weight of around 600lbs and a combined stamina of about 3 minutes.

I mean did you see their brawl at the end of their match at Turning Point? I flicked the channel during their match and when I came back I genuinely thought they were showing a slo-mo replay of the Crimson/Morgan punch-up.

Big Show after an all you can eat buffet, 3 packets of fags and a Stretcher match has more gas than these two.


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When Karen Jarrett and Jeff Hardy were doing their promo in the ring did anyone else have visions of Jeff pulling a CM Punk on Michael Cole and head-butting Karen?

Man, he’d have been my new hero if he’d done that.


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As for Karen’s promo, it made absolutely zero sense. Besides questioning Jeff Hardy’s manhood (which is pointless because Jeff’s clearly a lesbian) and calling TNA a place where ‘ungrateful wrestlers could go’, she said she ‘played the political game’ by becoming friends with Jeff’s wife Beth.

Squeeze me? Baking powder? How does becoming friends with the wife of a wrestler who has little power or influence in the company constitute playing the political game? That’s like saying “You know Joe? The guy who drives the ring to and from each venue? Well I became friends with him. Yeah I’m playing the political game. HAHAHAHAHA! I’ll be running the company in no time!”

F**k off back to being a stripper Karen.


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Wanna know what the main event for Bound for Glory 2012 is going to be? Well, I have it on good authoritah that TNA’s biggest show of the year is going to headlined by Hulk Hogan versus Dixie Carter for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship!

Word is that they’re going to reprise the Hogan/Randy Savage feud from back in the day, with Dixie’s husband Serge playing the part of Miss Elizabeth, even going so far as to strip down to his underwear in order to cause a distraction that allows Hogan and Dixie to pick up a win.

When the Mega Clueless Powers explode, I’m expecting PPV and attendance records to fly out the window. They’ll get 98,000 in the (Jefferson) Impact Zone. What’s that? It only holds 900? No way man, I ain’t hearing that noise.


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Matt Hardy was arrested for getting kicked out of rehab and violating the terms of his parole. His girlfriend says she could bail him out but won’t. She says Matt has no right to feel angry.

When I viewed the story online, I mis-read that last sentence as “Matt has no right to feel hungry”. “Damn right he doesn’t!” I thought to myself. Then I re-read it and came to the following conclusion:

Matt Hardy still has no right to feel hungry.

Speaking of the Big Show, I’ve got a feeling that he’ll have one more match with Mark Henry for the World title at the Tables, Ladders and Chairs pay per view. As awesome as a TLC match would be between the two, I’ve got a feeling they’ll make it a Stretcher match.

There haven’t been many Stretcher matches in the WWE, but the second one did give us the awesome visual of Brock Lesnar tearing around in a forklift truck. The only way WWE can top that is to have Mark Henry commandeer a freighter, crash it straight into the arena and use the on-board crane to lift the stretcher laden with the Big Show past the winning line.

Mark Henry skippering a boat would be all kinds of win.

Please make Mark Henry reinvent himself with a reboot of Tugboat.
I would mark out something silly to see Mark Henry like this:

Spoiler:

Toot Toot!

Very good YI

How freeking badass is Matt Hardy???? Even Scott Hall doesn't get kickes out of rehab

TNA should have Garett talk about how Eric missed Christmas for years and how he missed out on having a real dad, then cut to a shopping mall where Bischoff is taking Flair to see Santa

Once again the Vince bit killed it hahaha

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:
[b]

I propose that he takes on a remix of 2 Unlimited’s ‘No Limit’. Altogether now:

“GA-RETT! GA-RETT BISCH-OFF! GA-RETT BISCH-OFF! GARETT, GA-RETT BISCH-OFF!”

Class! Although it won't be quite as funny tonight when I'm still singing it in my head.

Vince and the Last Quad standing match had me laughing! Got asked a question at work midway through reading the last quad standing..gotta stop reading this thread at work..

Vince on Twitter and the new Garett theme tune made me laugh! Now singing the new Garrett theme tune in my head which is annoying.

Is the new vignette that aired on Monday night, the appearance of Jefferson Impact YI?

Is anyone not singing the new Garett Bischoff theme tune?

Dammit now I'M singing the Garett Bischoff theme!!


Miz NG - My sources tell me that the vignette on RAW wasn't to mark the debut of Jefferson Impact. Apparently - thanks to the support of 606v2 - Vince wants to make it a much bigger deal. There's talk that the Rock / John Cena match will be bumped from the top of the card at Wrestlemania 28 to make way for Jefferson's first appearance.

Stay tuned.

Y2 a classic again bro, keep em coming...

my favourite bit...
If I were R-Truth I’d give Billy Whatshisname a call to see if he can afford to pay Lex Luger to wrestle Ron at SuperBrawl. Super Saturday. I don’t even know what it’s called. What’s it called? SuperBrawl Saturday?

I DON’T KNOOOOOOOOW!


Is the best promo of all time? and why is the dude doing the interview dressed like the mad hatter?

oh and another thing.....your t shirts are too tight billy

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:Dammit now I'M singing the Garett Bischoff theme!!


Miz NG - My sources tell me that the vignette on RAW wasn't to mark the debut of Jefferson Impact. Apparently - thanks to the support of 606v2 - Vince wants to make it a much bigger deal. There's talk that the Rock / John Cena match will be bumped from the top of the card at Wrestlemania 28 to make way for Jefferson's first appearance.

Stay tuned.

Until then I will be sitting on the edge of my seat, putting in my holiday for the day off after WM and then watching the repeats! I Jefferson Impact

Miz NG wrote:Until then I will be sitting on the edge of my seat, putting in my holiday for the day off after WM and then watching the repeats! I Jefferson Impact

And Jefferson Impact YOU!

Here's a random thought.... (so thought this was the best place to mention it) ... is it just me or do D'Von's kids on TNA look more and more like the secret lovechild of Walter from CSI Miami with every week?

If you tweet that to Bischoff then they'll probably work an angle about it

I'm waiting for them to do an angle where it's revealed that Ric Flair is the father of D-Von's kids. Then they could have a 'Custody on a Pole' match.