Friday Fun! - Multiple choice

You're sitting ringside at Tyson-Holy 2 when suddenly Tyson spits out a piece of Evander's ear into your lap...Do you..

A. Faint....and get carried home by the Wife!!

B. Shout... "Oi Evander I've got a piece of your ear on my lap"

C. Threaten... Tyson after the fight that if he doesn't pay for the dry cleaning he'll think the Evander fight was a picnic!!!

D. Keep..... schtum and wonder how much you could get on EBAY..........

D, might make me a scumbag but it does make me an honest one.

C for me....Tyson never beat anybody decent!!

After A though!!!

D we could all live the life of luxury that Jeff rolly is living in as an admin of this board.

I'm a Yorkshire man Shah, a life of luxury is an indoor toilet.

Rowley wrote:I'm a Yorkshire man Shah, a life of luxury is an indoor toilet.

Next to the fridge and opposite the tv to save time and space?

When you say "the wife" do we have a choice of whose wife gets to take us home? I'm only asking cos if Billy Joel was at the fight I'd be asking whether or not he'd loan me Christie Brinkley for the evening to mop my brow and loosen my clothing.

Not his Wife anymore...so I'm sure he wouldn't mind!

Take it your Wife would be to busy drinking pints to do it then!!

E - dance around manically to "Stuck in the Middle" in a frankly overrated piece of filmmaking.

F - Make like a Scotsman and take it home to deep fry.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:F - Make like a Scotsman and take it home to deep fry.

Let's see how many glass botlles fly at your head the next time you step over that border.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:F - Make like a Scotsman and take it home to deep fry.

Let's see how many glass botlles fly at your head the next time you step over that border.

I knew my Edward Longshanks t-shirt was a bad idea at the time.

You know whats worse, superfly, my dear old Dad is a Scot and he doesn't like me either.

Does he resent being too tight to buy a condom?

He resents me being born in England, despite the fact he moved here. He resents the fact I don't follow a Scottish football/rugby team. He resents that fact I refused to wear a kilt to my wedding and he resents the fact I don't think Jim Watt is the greatest boxer in history.

They are a resentful race, milky. They are like Yorkshire folk without the sense of humour.

I've recently changed jobs and travel a lot up to Glasgow. I must say I think it is a beautiful city full of helpful, mild mannered folk. I would thoroughly recommend it for a romantic weekend away.

Lumbering_Jack wrote:I've recently changed jobs and travel a lot up to Glasgow. I must say I think it is a beautiful city full of helpful, mild mannered folk. I would thoroughly recommend it for a romantic weekend away.

You been shagging Pandas again?

Lumbering_Jack wrote:I've recently changed jobs and travel a lot up to Glasgow. I must say I think it is a beautiful city full of helpful, mild mannered folk. I would thoroughly recommend it for a romantic weekend away.

You and Tina patched up your differences then?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:He resents me being born in England, despite the fact he moved here. He resents the fact I don't follow a Scottish football/rugby team. He resents that fact I refused to wear a kilt to my wedding and he resents the fact I don't think Jim Watt is the greatest boxer in history.

They are a resentful race, milky. They are like Yorkshire folk without the sense of humour.

... And they throw bottles at people

Scottish women are lovely. Carol, the weather lady, has terrific bangers.

superflyweight wrote:

Lumbering_Jack wrote:I've recently changed jobs and travel a lot up to Glasgow. I must say I think it is a beautiful city full of helpful, mild mannered folk. I would thoroughly recommend it for a romantic weekend away.

You and Tina patched up your differences then?

We never fell out.

seanmichaels wrote:Scottish women are lovely. Carol, the weather lady, has terrific bangers.

Overshadowed in the morning by Suzanna Reid, Sean. MILF perfection!

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Scottish women are lovely. Carol, the weather lady, has terrific bangers.

Overshadowed in the morning by Suzanna Reid, Sean. MILF perfection!

Agreed 100%. I love having Reid getting me up in the morning

Reid wasn't on this morning. It was the blonde piece with the slightly skewed face.

I prefered Reid when she looked a bit more 'mumsy'. It suggested there was a bit more filth to her (which, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there still is). The subtle nuances in the way a women attires herself are very important to the fantasy.

Reid could do with losing a pound or two. Don't get me wrong I'd bang it but I've seen better.

... Touch more fake tan wouldn't go amiss either jack

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Not his Wife anymore...so I'm sure he wouldn't mind!

Take it your Wife would be to busy drinking pints to do it then!!

If I have ringside seats, you can pretty much guarantee I haven't paid for them which means they we're comps and as such, I'd hope my drinks were free too...and...take...my...wife....out?...with me?

What kinda crazy talk is this?

Always liked the one before Reid. She was a pocket rocket but would have gone like the clappers. Think you can only catch her on the weekend evening news these days.

Lumbering_Jack wrote:Reid could do with losing a pound or two. Don't get me wrong I'd bang it but I've seen better.

She runs several miles about 4 times a week. I'm guessing she might outlast you...

Am rubbish with computers so can't post a link but I'd recommed a google images search of Cat Cubie who does the weather for BBC Scotland.

Jogging is for people who can't handle real exercise. She could do with trying some sprint training lose a couple of those excess pounds.

Any one remember that blonde on the scottish widows ad? I always thought - yes yes give it a coupla weeks and she'll be gagging for it.

ShahenshahG wrote:Any one remember that blonde on the scottish widows ad? I always thought - yes yes give it a coupla weeks and she'll be gagging for it.

Of course, the fatty diet, high booze intake and heroic smoking mean that there are a lot of fairly young Scottish widows. The life expectancy of your average Glasgow male is about the same as the life expectancy of a rent boy in Kandahar.

Who would have thought Buckfast and deep fried mars bars were no good for you?

superflyweight wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Any one remember that blonde on the scottish widows ad? I always thought - yes yes give it a coupla weeks and she'll be gagging for it.

Of course, the fatty diet, high booze intake and heroic smoking mean that there are a lot of fairly young Scottish widows. The life expectancy of your average Glasgow male is about the same as the life expectancy of a rent boy in Kandahar.

I was wondering what prompted you to move to scotland. Now I know. Mortal Peril. I'm happy that. that air of regret around your every post is not in my imagination

Deep fried mars bar is fantastic. You lose 5 kg after eating one as you cant even look at food for a fortnight. Get on it Rowley, 30 should do you good.

Deep fried Mars bar.....?????

No wonder they have the lowest life expectancy in the UK......

Deep Fried Star bar........now you're talking..

It's the peanuts isn't it Truss...

Didn't they used to deep fry Cadbury's Cream Eggs too? Must have been like eating chocolate coated napalm.

Have also seen "battered chips" on the menu. not content with the fish, they're doing it to the chips as well.

Still at least the teacakes are served with low fat spread.

Mr Bounce wrote:It's the peanuts isn't it Truss...

Think we have yet another typo here

Nuts are on special offer at the Oyster at the moment!!

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Nuts are on special offer at the Oyster at the moment!!

A very worrying 2 for 1 offer if ever I've heard one.

Still, not as bad as 50% off

superflyweight wrote:Am rubbish with computers so can't post a link but I'd recommed a google images search of Cat Cubie who does the weather for BBC Scotland.

Spoiler:

Big arms? Certainly a powerful ride.

Googled her myself and can honestly say it wasn't worth they effort of tying her name in. Bonnie lass but not earth shattering!

DAVE667 wrote:Googled her myself and can honestly say it wasn't worth they effort of tying her name in. Bonnie lass but not earth shattering!

I don't need earth shattering anymore, dave.

superflyweight wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Googled her myself and can honestly say it wasn't worth they effort of tying her name in. Bonnie lass but not earth shattering!

I don't need earth shattering anymore, dave.

Getting a bit tubby and wrinkly in your old age?