Scottish Pro team thread

[123456789]

First topic message reminder :

There doesn't seem to be much going on but I thought it might be an idea to set up a thread devoted to transfers, coaching news and general new information to do with the Scottish pro clubs over the summer

[tigertattie]

True, but ASBO only needs 15 to 20 secs  

But lets get back to the serious topic!

How big is you wicker basket?

[AsLongAsBut100ofUs]

Feicin hard work painting the lines when the tarmac is bliwdy melting, I tell ye  

[funnyExiledScot]

It has capacity for two jeroboams of Bollinger, plus a healthy helping of caviar, truffles and foie gras for four persons (mama, papa, Mrs fES and moi - there is usually some leftovers for domestic staff).......or 62 tins of wife beater.

[tigertattie]

Hee hee. Methinks ASBO missed the Mark Bennett comment  

[AsLongAsBut100ofUs]

Hee hee.  Methinks ASBO missed the Mark Bennett comment  

Pls refer to him properly - you may use the Messiah, the new BOD, or simply if you prefer - thank you

[tigertattie]

Look. I've already told you.. He is not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy!!!

[funnyExiledScot]

"The new BOD"? Surely that's underselling his potential? BOD not even good enough for the Lions......

[AsLongAsBut100ofUs]

Alright, the new Jim Renwick if you'd prefer

[funnyExiledScot]

That's much better - now you're talking about a real rugby player!

[tigertattie]

we cant take anything ASBO says seriously!

He lives in Devon!

[AsLongAsBut100ofUs]

we cant take anything ASBO says seriously!

He lives in Devon!

Crikey, tt, it's taken you this long to realise that!!  

[George Carlin]

Devon is good if you're 100 like Asbo and just want the quiet life and a good clotted cream tea.

[Imperialbigdave]

There must be something in the cream tea that keeps him youthfull and invigorated. Probably the same stuff that keeps Mark Bennett in the junior teams season after season.

[tigertattie]

There must be something in the cream tea that keeps him youthfull and invigorated. Probably the same stuff that keeps Mark Bennett in the junior teams season after season.

 

[tigertattie]

in all seriousness though! will Bennett get much game time for the weedge?

Also, I'm gonna lay my cards out right now and say the 1872 cup will be one game a piece. Dunno about the overall score and to who will therefore win the thing though!

[123456789]

I think your overestimating the abilities of the coachless wonders, I think they'll improve significantly because they can't get any worse but I can't see them beating Glasgow.

[GLove39]

Fixtures and rough dates announced for the pro 12.
Edinburgh start their campaign away to Munster  
And Glasgow get the Blues at home  

[tigertattie]

PoC won't be playing though! He's their talisman!

[RDW]

Edinburgh:

Munster A
Dragons H
Ospreys A
Scarlets H
Blues A
Treviso H
Zebre H
Ulster A
Connacht H
Leinster H
Glasgow H
Glasgow A
Dragons A
Connacht A
Scarlets A
Ospreys H
Ulster H
Treviso A
Blues H
Zebre A
Munster H
Leinster A

Tough period for Edinburgh in the new year and start of the 6N, with 4 away games on the trot. Difficult run in as well with Munster and Leinster last, but I doubt we'll be near playoff qualification for that to matter! I'd back Edinburgh to pick up a few wins before playing Ulster away, which should set us up in good stead, but I also think there's a good chance we'll lose them all!

Glasgow

Blues H
Ulster A
Leinster H
Zebre A
Scarlets A
Munster H
Connacht A
Dragons H
Ospreys A
Treviso H
Edinburgh A
Edinburgh H
Connacht H
Blues A
Dragons A
Leinster A
Scarlets H
Ospreys H
Munster A
Ulster H
Treviso A
Zebre H

Not quite as bad for Glasgow, but still 3 tough away games during the 6N. Struck it lucky with Zebre at home the last game.

[funnyExiledScot]

That's a big run Glasgow have near the end of the season - Leinster, Scarlets, Ospreys, Munster and Ulster in consecutive games. Glasgow will need to hit top form during that run of games. Good finish though with the two Italian teams back to back at the end.

All the games look hard for Edinburgh, although we have a home double header against the two Italian teams which you feel will be crucial in terms of either getting some earlyish points on the table, or completely crushing morale for the rest of the season....couple of easy games around Christmas to look forward to though....

[jimbopip]

Woe is me, woe is me! Fell asleep on sofa with glass of red wine in hand and Warriors jersey on body.  
Now blood, beer, vomit and most bodily fluids would probably enhance the macho Glaswegian hard nut image I would love to cultivate; but a cheeky little Tempranillo? It's just too MFL.  
If I took a biro and wrote "Lanliq" with an arrow pointing would anyone be fooled?

[IanBru]

Jimbo, don't feel bad, man. I'm partial to a cheeky Shiraz whenever I summon the courage to watch ScrumV. If I drink enough wine and turn some music up, it almost sounds like they're not talking just about Wales...

I was at the Tobermory highland games on Thursday and, having embarrassed myself in the locals' mile race, I slipped down a grass embankment whilst carrying a glass of red wine (for my cousin...) and a can of Tenants. When I recovered at the bottom, I looked like I'd been stabbed in the chest and then p***ed myself in the confusion. Considering I was wearing my Glasgow shirt, it seemed alarmingly appropriate.

[jimbopip]

Ian, thanks (a) for reminding me of good times in Tobermory with MrsPip- including Geoff Capes throwing the hammer and the gathered womenfolk all agreeing he had "lovely eyes" strange but true (b) I looked like I'd been stabbed in the chest and then p***ed myself in the confusion utter classic:laughing: 

[George Carlin]

Jimbo, don't feel bad, man. I'm partial to a cheeky Shiraz whenever I summon the courage to watch ScrumV. If I drink enough wine and turn some music up, it almost sounds like they're not talking just about Wales...

I was at the Tobermory highland games on Thursday and, having embarrassed myself in the locals' mile race, I slipped down a grass embankment whilst carrying a glass of red wine (for my cousin...) and a can of Tenants. When I recovered at the bottom, I looked like I'd been stabbed in the chest and then p***ed myself in the confusion. Considering I was wearing my Glasgow shirt, it seemed alarmingly appropriate.

 
A Glaswegian having bought a round of drinks v a Glasgwegian covered in booze, blood and urine.
Let me pause to take no time whatsoever to consider which is most likely explanation.

[jimbopip]

George, I fear for your forensic detailed cross-examination techniques: Ian said he was carrying a glass of red wine for his cousin, this in no way implies that the sanctity of his wallet had been breached. Remember when in a licensed premise be like Dan Parks in the defensive line: look full of intent but get there just too late to make that tackle/ buy that round. Unless of course you are Schizoid who has been known to ask opposing second rows mid-ruck if they would like ice and lemon with that and to dump tackle passing wine waiters.

[George Carlin]

Where is Schiz, incidentally?
He's a great bunch of guys.

[jimbopip]

Where is Schiz, incidentally?
He's a great bunch of guys.

He's here and there, here and there.

[RDW]

Bill Lothian (Edinburgh Evening news) says the SA media is claiming a saffer coach will be taking over at Edinburgh – not been able to find the articles in question so will have to wait until his Evening News article is published later on to see which one it is.

[AsLongAsBut100ofUs]

in all seriousness though! will Bennett get much game time for the weedge?

I would've thought a fair bit, tt, tbh - I can see Toonie trying to give the Dunbar/Bennett centre partnership some time to gel this coming season

[funnyExiledScot]

With Horne ruled out, the only other option at 13 is Sean Lamont. If Bennett can't get game time with Sean Lamont as his only real rival for the jersey, then he should probably think about doing something else for a living....

[RDW]

Well Jesus spent a bit of time being a joiner before doing the whole ‘son of God’ thing so the messiah has got plenty time yet to be a rugby player.

[funnyExiledScot]

It is a real concern. He's now getting too old for the playground, a bit like the school bully who picks on the juniors and hogs the swings, yet can't stand up to the seniors and people in his own year.

[jimbopip]

With Horne ruled out, the only other option at 13 is Sean Lamont. If Bennett can't get game time with Sean Lamont as his only real rival for the jersey, then he should probably think about doing something else for a living....

Fes, with Horne out and Wee Dunkie and Rhubarb slightly crocked then we could see; DTH- Seymour on the wings, NoMaits at 15 and Dunbar-Hogg at 12-13. Although the back three od DTH-Maitland-Hogg looks the best. (What wouldn't the MFL give for a second choice of Schlong-Seymour-Murchie? None of whom have Visser's beast-like aggression in the tackle or Nikki Walker's mercurial pace and Sonic-like changes of direction.)
I do fear that we look rather threadbare in the centres. Dunbar and   seem to be the only obvious candidates, so we could, with injuries etc, well end up with Wee Dunkie at 10 and Jackson at 12 with Schlong at 13.  
Interesting that once Horneefurralinee is not available you suddenly realise just how important he is to the team.
On no account do I want to see Hogg at 10  
Of course all of the above totally ignores the fact that we will have the FijiWeegie at 9, or on the wing. 
At the moment Toonie is no more than 2% Muppet, but he needs to build on last season to get that down to a more realistic just your normal Glaswegian 1.379%.

P.S. Am about to depart England's green and pleasant blah blah for most of August and will return just in time for Harlequins v Warriors can anyone suggest any good boozers near t'Stoop for pre-match rehydration? Thanks.

[Captain_Sensible]

It is a real concern. He's now getting too old for the playground, a bit like the school bully who picks on the juniors and hogs the swings, yet can't stand up to the seniors and people in his own year.

Really? He's scored three tries already for Glasgow in about half a season. He's been impressive whenever he's played.

[RDW]

It is a real concern. He's now getting too old for the playground, a bit like the school bully who picks on the juniors and hogs the swings, yet can't stand up to the seniors and people in his own year.

Really? He's scored three tries already for Glasgow in about half a season. He's been impressive whenever he's played.

CS – it is a long standing joke on here that FES is dubious about the lofty pedestal that a lot of people put the Messiah on – I’m sure he thinks he is a promising player, but hopes of the next Brian O’Driscoll are a bit premature!

Hence you will see a lot of these comments when the Messiah is mentioned! 

[funnyExiledScot]

I don't mean to be negative about the lad. He is the best prospect at centre Scotland have had since Jamie Mayer, if you exclude Nick De Luca, Joe Anbro, Alex Grove, Alex Dunbar and Ben Cairns......

If Toonie has to start shifting Hogg to 13 and Maitland to 15, then we'll really know how remarkable this rugby sensation really is! Really great players tend to start their international careers at his age, and they've certainly nailed down their club jersey by now. Talk of shifting players out of position simply to avoid playing him should be sounding alarm bells in ASBO's retirement home......

 

[George Carlin]

CS - we have long suspected that Bennett is in fact FES' secret son, and that FES' hostility comes from the fact that Bennett refuses to listen to his father, drink Pimms, wear red chinos or play on the east coast.
 
I have heard no denials from Solomon's camp so can we assume that it's him in Edinburgh's managerial hotseat until we hear otherwise?
 
Bloody hell, I don't think that I've ever seen the boards this quiet.
 
I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

[Captain_Sensible]

I don't mean to be negative about the lad. He is the best prospect at centre Scotland have had since Jamie Mayer, if you exclude Nick De Luca, Joe Anbro, Alex Grove, Alex Dunbar and Ben Cairns......  

Now you're just being silly.

[RDW]

The HK fixtures have been released:

Round 1

Edinburgh V Munster – Sat 12/10 13:35 Sky
Toulon V Glasgow  - Sun 13/10 16:00 France 2


Round 2

Perpignan V Edinburgh – Sun 20/10 13:35 Canal +
Glasgow V Chiefs – Sun 20/10 14:00


Round 3

Edinburgh V Gloucester Sun 08/12 13:00
Blues V Glasgow Fri 06/12 Sky 20:00


Round 4

Gloucester V Edinburgh Sun 15/12 15:00 Sky
Glasgow V Blues Fri 13/12 Sky


Looks like I’ll have to get used to watching Sunday rugby for Edinburgh then!

Not a bad start for Edinburgh – if we can somehow manage to beat Munster at home it should set us up in good stead to be competitive in France then hopefully beat Gloucester at home.

Glasgow are getting the difficult game out the way first, but is also a shame as the chances of an early win are small.  Can see Glasgow winning the next 3 games on the trot though setting them up nicely for the last 2 games.

[RDW]

I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Sounds good to me!

[Tattie Scones RRN]

CS - we have long suspected that Bennett is in fact FES' secret son, and that FES' hostility comes from the fact that Bennett refuses to listen to his father, drink Pimms, wear red chinos or play on the east coast.
 
I have heard no denials from Solomon's camp so can we assume that it's him in Edinburgh's managerial hotseat until we hear otherwise?
 
Bloody hell, I don't think that I've ever seen the boards this quiet.
 
I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Is this C21st and his missus?

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=the+krankies&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=NxbtUb--IOb07Abt64GYBw&sqi=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1440&bih=731#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=XVVBJxrAKdMuYM%3A%3BWx_qUGwmEVzNNM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%252Fmedia%252Fimages%252F57410000%252Fjpg%252F_57410048_002526885-1.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.bbc.co.uk%252Fnews%252Fuk-scotland-glasgow-west-16244795%3B640%3B360

[RuggerRadge2611]

Been away for a week and this is looking like an Irish club mud slinging thread! Shame on you!

That's a pretty hard start for the season for Edinburgh. 2nd game against Dragons at home is very important, it simply has to be won.

I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Sounds good to me!

Well FES must know what I look like, we have met a few times. I'll bet he has regretted that. RDW must have a wee idea of what I look like too since he follows my wisdom on Twitter.

[jimbopip]

I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Sounds good to me!

Sounds extremely infantile and seriously silly: just right for us then  
However, as a troglodyte of many years standing unless my children show me how to glue the pictures to the screen I'm knackered so can't get my retaliation in.

[George Carlin]

CS - we have long suspected that Bennett is in fact FES' secret son, and that FES' hostility comes from the fact that Bennett refuses to listen to his father, drink Pimms, wear red chinos or play on the east coast.
 
I have heard no denials from Solomon's camp so can we assume that it's him in Edinburgh's managerial hotseat until we hear otherwise?
 
Bloody hell, I don't think that I've ever seen the boards this quiet.
 
I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Is this C21st and his missus?

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=the+krankies&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=NxbtUb--IOb07Abt64GYBw&sqi=2&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1440&bih=731#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=XVVBJxrAKdMuYM%3A%3BWx_qUGwmEVzNNM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fnews.bbcimg.co.uk%252Fmedia%252Fimages%252F57410000%252Fjpg%252F_57410048_002526885-1.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.bbc.co.uk%252Fnews%252Fuk-scotland-glasgow-west-16244795%3B640%3B360

I always had it in my head that Yappysnap would look like Jimmy Krankie. No idea why - just the name.

[funnyExiledScot]

I am extremely good looking.

[George Carlin]

I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Sounds good to me!

Sounds extremely infantile and seriously silly: just right for us then   
However, as a troglodyte of many years standing unless my children show me how to glue the pictures to the screen I'm knackered so can't get my retaliation in.

Who are the usual Scottish/Scots affiliated posters, then?
 
I think that it's:
 
RuggerRadge2611
Captain_Sensible
bsando
jimbopip
123456789
InjuredYetAgain
Kingshu
cakeordeath
Pat_Mustard
Majestic83
Dorothy_Mantooth
RDW_Scotland
AsLongAsBut100ofUs
highland_scot
CraigS1874
EST
funnyExiledScot
GLove39
Imperialbigdave
IanBru
21st Century Schizoid Man
Tramptastic
Solid8
nickj
EWT Spoons
Manky-Flanker
Weegie Wizard
allyt2k
EWT Spoons
furra_linee
tigertattie
alexgmacdonald
Tattie Scones RRN
VinceWLB
 
Did I miss anyone out?
 
This will take ages to set up so I'll do it when I have time!

[RDW]

Impressive memory there GC!

[RuggerRadge2611]

I am considering starting a thread where we post Googled pictures to reflect our own private estimation of what Scottish 606v2 posters look like in 'real life', based on their general demeanor and persona on these boards. Would people be offended by that or take it in the good humour in which it was meants? I wouldn't dare do it for non-Scottish posters because a sense of humour is by no means guaranteed.

Sounds good to me!

Sounds extremely infantile and seriously silly: just right for us then   
However, as a troglodyte of many years standing unless my children show me how to glue the pictures to the screen I'm knackered so can't get my retaliation in.

Who are the usual Scottish/Scots affiliated posters, then?
 
I think that it's:
 
RuggerRadge2611
Captain_Sensible
bsando
jimbopip
123456789
InjuredYetAgain
Kingshu
cakeordeath
Pat_Mustard
Majestic83
Dorothy_Mantooth
RDW_Scotland
AsLongAsBut100ofUs
highland_scot
CraigS1874
EST
funnyExiledScot
GLove39
Imperialbigdave
IanBru
21st Century Schizoid Man
Tramptastic
Solid8
nickj
EWT Spoons
Manky-Flanker
Weegie Wizard
allyt2k
RuggerRadge2611
EWT Spoons
furra_linee
tigertattie
alexgmacdonald
Tattie Scones RRN
 
Did I miss anyone out?
 
This will take ages to set up so I'll do it when I have time!

So good I got named twice! FES is really tall, and very well spoken I'm surprised he didn't need a translator for when I make my Fifer noises. RDW looks a bit like Boris from Goldeneye, and Glove39 is a daywalker... (you'll know what I mean if you have seen that south park episode) GINGER PRIDE!

Mind you I cannae throw stones since I live in a glass hoose. I have a pus like a stuntman's knee.

[jimbopip]

I am extremely good looking.

You too? 

[George Carlin]

Anything anyone knows* about any of the other Scottish posters listed above should be shared right here and right now.
 
* Even if it's an utter lie, but funny. The way that Wikipedia and your senile old uncle "knows" things.

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