The Culture cup Presents: The Cumquat Cup Final - Tim Martin vs Piers Morgan

Well here it is, the final of the Cumquat Cup, the most controversial competition in forum history. 

It looked all set up for a Katie Hopkins final, she would have been the favourite to win it. But this forum plays by its own rules, and the underdog Tim Martin has made his way into the final.

After beating Hopkins, some might make Martin favourite, but then we get to his rival. Piers Morgan, a man who was starting to rescue his reputation a little with his fierce interview technique coming up against a lacklustre politicians in the middle of a pandemic. 

To get to this stage, they have beaten some heavyweight foes - 

Martin: Hopkins, Kyle, Brand and Prince Andrew, as well as topping a group with Bezos, Emma Watson, Stephen King, Tim Henman, Musk, Lewis Hamilton, Sara Pascoe. 

Morgan: Carlson, Littlejohn, Keys and Henson, whilst Morgan topped a group consisting of Crooks, Walliams, Suarez, Karren Brady, Vince McMahon, Jai Courtney and Nick Ferrari. 


So on the day of England vs Scotland, is there anything more fitting than sitting inside and arguing who is the biggest cumquat?! 

If a professional troll beats a guy who has actively f**ed up so many businesses and companies, I will be mildly disappointed

A bit disappointed with how it's all panned out, I expected a lot more from my c*nts.

Piers Morgan is currently a professional troll, but he is nothing like as cuddly as that description would imply. Well worth remembering his previous career as a tabloid editor coincided with the phone hacking scandals (Millie Dowler and all). Just checking dates he wasn't obviously active when Daniel Morgan was murdered but his career developed inside the press culture of that time.

Just in case (again) we have forgotten who Tim Martin is

LostinWales:

And the excellent post from Samo

Samo:

Let’s not forget Piers put fake stories about the army on the front pages. I’m not exactly one of those who think the British Army is above all reproach, but that was pretty shocking for its time

And he had a tantrum when a part time weatherman got the better of him intellectually.

Although I did vote for Martin. Mainly because I've had a tantrum over Morgan beating my man Carlson.

I voted for Piers Morgan. Never heard of Tim Martin - no idea who he is.

Lead singer of Coldplay.

That's Chris Pringle. Tim Martin is a retired American tennis player, surprised Julius doesn't know who he is.

Which one is Tim from The Office?

They call me... Tim.

You manky Scots git!

superflyweight wrote:Which one is Tim from The Office?  

He's in the Canterbury Tales of Chaucer... and Shakespeare.

Piers has taken it. 2021's Cumquat is quite clearly Mr Morgan. Well done, Piers.

He would win in most years

Do we get to see the nominations?

Gutted for Jack Whitehall after all the work he's done over the past few years but the pollsters have spoken.

Thanks, Flipper. It's good to have some form of closure on this, or at the very least a yardstick against which to mention my favourite c*nts.

I have got other ideas in mind for more Culture Cups in the future. I'll pass them on to Tino, they'll be safe there.