Wrestling Certainties

First topic message reminder :

You know the score, there a certain things that happen in wrestling where you just know what's coming next.

Such as:

If there is a cake in the ring, it will end up in somebody's face.

If we're introduced to a babyface's family member(s), they will be beaten up later in the show by a heel.

If you are playing out 'ownership issues' on TV, none of the fans will care.


Over to you!

David Tails wrote:Somewhere at this moment in time, Samoa Joe is eating some friend chicken while playing beek-a-boo under a towel.

Whats friend chicken? Or beek-a-boo?

Derbyblue wrote:

David Tails wrote:Somewhere at this moment in time, Samoa Joe is eating some friend chicken while playing beek-a-boo under a towel.

Whats friend chicken? Or beek-a-boo?

That would be me typoing while at work!

Fried Chicken and Peek-a-Boo.

Good spot though

Stone Cold's next appearance on RAW will be even more underwhelming than his last.

If Primo's around he'll continue to be the reason for everything that's wrong in the world.

If a wrestler even breathes on a ref, he'll fall to the floor and be KO'd for 5 minutes. Unless it's Earl "The Pearl" Hebner when he's in a bod mood. (At all other times he will succumb like all other refs)

If Edge, Christian, Matt & Jeff Hardy are in the ring or the general vicinity of it, Jim Ross will get all their names mixed up.

Team 3D will reunite and no-one will care.

Hulk Hogan will post something on Twitter which he will immediately backtrack on if someone calls him on it.

The Magical Mountain Bike of Sobriety will cure all of Jeff Hardy's problems.

David Tails wrote:The Magical Mountain Bike of Sobriety will cure all of Jeff Hardy's problems.

He's on it every day!!

Jeff Hardy will go on a murderous drug-fuelled rampage and Matt Hardy will post a tweet saying everything's ok, Jeff's fine and it's no big deal.

Ken Anderson will stub his toe and blame it on WWE.

Kurt Angle will be found lying naked in a ditch, wearing only a horse's head as a medallion and a paddling pool as a hat, surrounded by pills and booze and deny he has a problem.

Hulk Hogan will pimp out his family.

Randy Orton's quest to look more and more twisted & unhinged will result in him looking more and more constipated.

When ever anyone ever drops their head to do a back boday drop, they always get reverse by a kick to the head.

Anythign Cryme Tyme did no cared either, when kidd turned heel know one cared.

A Brit will always start their career as a heel and probably continue to remain in a heel role forever.

When a face has been tormented by a heel over a sustained period of time, his revenge won't be as brilliant as everyone hopes it will be

Two wrestlers will be enemies one week, then best friends the next (or vice versa)

Randy Orton times the Undertakers entrance, and then does his level best to be even slower

If a young guy breaks onto the main roster and isn't a face, he will have to play the cocky, young, know it all heel.

Dusty Rhodes will never make any sense in puh-lic if you weel.

If the fans turn a heel babyface, WWE will botch it by making said wrestler the same as all the other babyfaces.

Ric Flair will get married again. Then divorce and be 'forced' to carry on in wrestling to pay the alimony.

Randy Orton and John Cena pick up an injury in the middle of the match, they'll be back to normal and bouncing around after 2 moves. Later in the match they will then remember that they are injured and try and sell the fact. No one in the crowd above the age of 4 will buy it.

Kane will be turned face and act like a pretty normal bloke, then he'll turn heel not long after and be described as an evil demonic hell monster who has no concern for the wellbeing of mankind.

The Undertaker will try to incorporate more MMA into his wrestling repertoire, so he'll come out bare foot sporting a mouthguard.

Rey Mysterio is suplex-proof, he reverses every attempt into a hurricanrana but his opponent somehow never sees it coming.

when theo long comes out, your guarenteed to see a tag team match set up as the main event.. hola hola hola!

David Tails wrote:If a wrestler even breathes on a ref, he'll fall to the floor and be KO'd for 5 minutes. Unless it's Earl "The Pearl" Hebner when he's in a bod mood. (At all other times he will succumb like all other refs)

Bod mood?

lol cena ducks every clothesline before he hits that Poopie suplex before hitting the aa

John Cena will never connect with his punches

David Tails wrote:If a wrestler even breathes on a ref, he'll fall to the floor and be KO'd for 5 minutes. Unless it's Earl "The Pearl" Hebner when he's in a bod mood. (At all other times he will succumb like all other refs)

Bod mood?

David Tails wrote:If a wrestler even breathes on a ref, he'll fall to the floor and be KO'd for 5 minutes. Unless it's Earl "The Pearl" Hebner when he's in a bod mood. (At all other times he will succumb like all other refs)

bod mood?

David Tails wrote:If a wrestler even breathes on a ref, he'll fall to the floor and be KO'd for 5 minutes. Unless it's Earl "The Pearl" Hebner when he's in a bod mood. (At all other times he will succumb like all other refs)

Bod mood?

When two faces are matched together you know there will be a run-in and the match will end in a DQ.

Stiener will botch every word in the dictionary.

Steiner + live mic = Money.

Every single person on the TNA roster has been face/heel/face/heel all in the space of a month.

I hate you guys.

I am actually working today. I'm jumping on here when I get the chance! Leave my shockingly "bod" typing alone!

It was a clever reference to Bod the cartoon character...which is relevant in wrestling since it was based on a book by Michael Cole. So screw you guys!

When he is in a mood to watch Bod....he is invincible to the attacks of wrestlers!

Randy Orton's injuries coming and again going 0.5 seconds.

If Vince McMahon has a match with Kevin Nash, someone wont be leaving with working quads

Hobo wrote:If Vince McMahon has a match with Kevin Nash, someone wont be leaving with working quads

Especially if 888 is the special guest referee.

In TNA, whatever show it is, whatever the match is, within 5 seconds of the opening bell, the commentators will be talking about Hogan.