The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by kingraf Tue 16 Sep 2014, 1:47 pm

First topic message reminder :

Headed to the dam this weekend. God I've missed it. Girlfriend's never been and I'm undecided on whether to take her or not.

by **Union Cane** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:04 pm

Coal mining.

Oh no, hang on.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:04 pm

superflyweight wrote:Child abuse.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:06 pm

Home Economics (his coursework was on Radox bathing).

by **Pal Joey** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:07 pm

Yes, as good advice as one can give.

I once had Sir Don Bradman stare through me from a few meters away. Thought I had done something wrong or was blocking his view perhaps?
He had quite beady little eyes behind the spectacles... but there was a very intense and serious air about him. Some would call it an aura perhaps? There was certainly a golden-ish glow about his person.

Had a chat with Roger Moore in the streets behind Holland Park. They were filming Bullseye. There were lots of leaves in the street gutters and some bloke had just cleared some away with a blower. I said something like "that's a pity.. the leaves looked nice" and he agreed with me.
It was all very positive and polite and he had a friendly face... that 007 smirk. However, I was surprised how small he was in real life. Thought he was bigger on screen.

Then I noticed Michael Caine who seemed to be hiding behind a tree and trying to act inconspicuous. (I think it was the scene where they both root the same high flying socialite without the other knowing)

I sat next to John Eales on a flight from Qld in 2009. Felt sorry for him because he was too tall and was trying not to get his big ears swiped by people opening the overhead lockers. He looked a bit tired and he had that "I just want to get home" look on his face - just like the rest of us.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:08 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:

I sat next to John Eales

You sat next to nobody.

by **Pal Joey** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:12 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:

I sat next to John Eales

You sat next to nobody.

There's a sports show ad with that same punchline.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:15 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:

I sat next to John Eales

You sat next to nobody.

There's a sports show ad with that same punchline.

I genuinely didn't steal it!

by Rowley Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:15 pm

Union Cane wrote:Coal mining.

Oh no, hang on.

That one hurt Union.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:18 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:

I sat next to John Eales

You sat next to nobody.

There's a sports show ad with that same punchline.

I genuinely didn't steal it!

Is that what you tell the shop-keeper?

by **Pal Joey** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:22 pm

Well... not the same punchline really.

It's all about how these TV Sports Show panelists have "managed to get Nobody" to join the crew.

Then the (ignorant) Producer yells at them: "That's not bloody good enough! I want a big name... somebody... anybody!"

(Then Nobody steps out of the shadows)

"Oh...nice to see you Nobody! The guys were just telling me we had nobody for the show!" (embarrassed look)

by Guest Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:22 pm

Union Cane wrote:Coal mining.

Oh no, hang on.

That would be "Ancient History" like knowing about Gregg's when it was still called Thurston's...and Marathons and Opal Fruits

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:24 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:

I sat next to John Eales

You sat next to nobody.

There's a sports show ad with that same punchline.

I genuinely didn't steal it!

Is that what you tell the shop-keeper?

I wouldn't steal from Mr Dharmishra and family, I have too much empathy with them. We are both outsiders.

The villagers look at them with as much suspicion as they look at me. Mr Dharmishra and family are the wrong colour for a village in the Home Counties.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:28 pm

Is that his nickname? Something to do with nobody as good as him?

Apparently he started out at 8 and in one particular game picked up the ball from the back of the scrum and dropped a goal from the halfway line. That true?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:29 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Is that his nickname? Something to do with nobody as good as him?

Apparently he started out at 8 and in one particular game picked up the ball from the back of the scrum and dropped a goal from the halfway line. That true?

Yep, his nickname was 'nobody' because 'nobodies perfect'.

He was a great place kicker. Not sure about the drop goal, I think that was Zinzan Brooke.

For a second row to be a place kicker is pretty unusual. I don't know of any others at that level.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:39 pm

He wasn't really 1st choice though. Lynagh would have been kicker for most his career.

Think it was him though, i'll google.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:43 pm

seanmichaels wrote:He wasn't really 1st choice though. Lynagh would have been kicker for most his career.

You say that like it should be an asterix against him. He was a second row.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:44 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0nfYW-wIZ4

Zinzan Brooke.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:45 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0nfYW-wIZ4

Zinzan Brooke.

John Eales - After a drop goal from halfway for Brothers versus Teachers-Norths, he said: "Nobody would have said anything if I had scored a try and that's worth more points."

by **Union Cane** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:46 pm

A big hoof, followed by a big hoof.

I will never understand that game. The ball is not even round.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:46 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0nfYW-wIZ4

Zinzan Brooke.

John Eales - After a drop goal from halfway for Brothers versus Teachers-Norths, he said: "Nobody would have said anything if I had scored a try and that's worth more points."

Great video.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:49 pm

Bog off windows.

I once scored 36 points in a match. That was the highlight of myRugby career.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:49 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Bog off windows.

I once scored 36 points in a match. That was the highlight of myRugby career.

I didn't score 36 points added together.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:51 pm

It was for the 2's though..... 18 years ago and I can still picture a few of the better kicks and the tries.

by **Union Cane** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:52 pm

Surprised that rafcox hasn't chipped in yet...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:55 pm

Union Cane wrote:Surprised that rafcox hasn't chipped in yet...

He has, 5 times apparently. Shot a 61.

by Rowley Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:55 pm

Rafcox once scored 36 points in a game he was not even playing in.

by **Union Cane** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 3:59 pm

We had about three lessons of rugby at school, one in the classroom going through all the rules and the names for things (didn't get it at all, the forwards are at the back and the backs go forward, blind flankers, all that nonsense), the second was spent on the field practising kicking the ball off the pitch a long way away (eh?) and the third was a 'game' which involved jumping on people and the teacher shouting "not around the neck!" a lot.

by kingraf Thu 25 Sep 2014, 5:21 pm

Never did score 36 in a rugby game. The extent of my highlights was playing with a broken clavicle. And that was only because they wouldn't let me off. I was Centre in a team with a nearly all African backline... we scored some beautiful breakaway tries. My refusal to bother to properly tackle did mean our centre had a soft underbelly. Team Would have made it quite far if we had a better defending centre.

by Hibbz Thu 25 Sep 2014, 6:33 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Bloody anthroponds.....

CRANE FLY INFESTATION

For the attention of all clubs

As a result of my own observations, a recent visit to one of our member clubs, and national newspaper reports there is a significant increase this autumn of the number of insects / crane flies around this autumn which is as a result of last winter’s exceptionally wet and mild weather.

None of us can predict what the weather holds for the coming winter, however, should the weather again be mild which few hard frosts, there is an increasing likelihood that further grounds may be vulnerable to “leatherjacket infestation”. “Leatherjackets” are the larvae of the crane fly. Infestations as such are thankfully reasonably rare and random but given the right conditions can be devastating to outfields in particular during the spring when the larvae hatch. I enclose below an extract from an email from our county ECB Pitch Inspector.

“We could be in for a bumper year for crane flies…… To ascertain if a ground is infested look for intense bird activity especially from Corvids ( Rooks, Crows, Jackdaws etc). Also placing a 2m x 2m sheet of plastic over a well watered area of turf overnight will bring any grubs to the surface by morning. If more than five leatherjackets are present then treatment is recommended.

Pesticides containing chlorpyrifos as the active ingredient will kill the grubs. The addition of water conditioners and wetting agents may be necessary for the most effective results. Any pesticide must be used in accordance with the manufacturer’s guidelines and only be applied by a suitably qualified operative. There are also some garlic based liquid products on the market which deter crane flies from laying their eggs and also make the rootzone unpalatable for the young grubs.”

This is the sort of info I risk the scorn of the cool kids of the culture cup to glean. No amount of mocking about my ankle swinging Farah's and white sock combo can take this type of knowledge away.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 6:51 pm

Hey look everyone - look at Hibbz' white socks! Hahaha!

by kingraf Thu 25 Sep 2014, 7:00 pm

Kids can be so cruel.

by Hibbz Thu 25 Sep 2014, 7:13 pm

"Leatherjackets are the larvae of crane fly"
"Rooks, Crows, Jackdaws etc are known as Corvids"
"Pesticides containing chlorpyrifos as the active ingredient will kill the grubs"

Eat my knowledge.

by **Galted** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:13 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Bog off windows.

I once scored 36 points in a match. That was the highlight of myRugby career.

I didn't score 36 points added together.

I scored a total of 7 points in my entire rugby career which is probably not far off the total amount of runs I made in my cricket career (and less than the amount of shots I took to get out of view of the clubhouse the one and only time I played golf).

Luckily I made up for it with my excellent dress sense and ability to remember when to renew my travel card.

by Rowley Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:22 pm

Your sporting achievements appear to outstrip my own Galted, however, like you I make up for it in other areas. Whereas you have your dress sense I have knowledge of popular music. Am fairly sure if Rory Mcilroy had the choice between his short game or the ability to name Spice Girls singles we all know which he would choose.

by **Galted** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:16 pm

Damn right, Jeff. And he would be no match for your brutal northern sarcasm and my ability to swim underwater.

I'm a bit worried about Tino reading my mention of my golfing career, it could undermine the immense respect he holds for me.

by **Union Cane** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:46 pm

It was Prime Ministers, by the way.

by **Union Cane** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:49 pm

David Cameron Bowie
The Crazy World Of Arthur Gordon Brown
Tony Blair Christie
John Major Denver
Maggie Thatcher May

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 11:12 pm

Its gonna take a lot to keep me away from yooooouuuuuu

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 11:18 pm

Galted wrote:Damn right, Jeff.  And he would be no match for your brutal northern sarcasm and my ability to swim underwater.

I'm a bit worried about Tino reading my mention of my golfing career, it could undermine the immense respect he holds for me.

not being coxy or owt but i can't swim. I can float alright but when i try to swim i swallow water and am sick. Great look when you're trying to impress the cherry titted frenchies on the cote d'azur.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 25 Sep 2014, 11:33 pm

Spoiler:

Mental tune. Micky Quinn on bongos and backing vocals

by **seanmichaels** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:18 am

Fisted. Better not be sheeeet on here today....

by **superflyweight** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:30 am

Bad start, but I'm here so things will pick up.

by **seanmichaels** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:34 am

Dress down day here. A serious bit of clout just walked by. Definitely would.

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:41 am

Galted wrote:

I'm a bit worried about Tino reading my mention of my golfing career, it could undermine the immense respect he holds for me.

He takes jizz
On his chin
I've got no respect for him
Galted!
Galted!

Morning all. In work today, on a Friday. What a sh*tter.

Went out on the beer last night as well so I'm sweating a little bit. I smell like Sean does most mornings.

by **seanmichaels** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:42 am

Lavender?

by **superflyweight** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:42 am

New trainees started here a couple of weeks ago. Been too busy to notice until last couple of days, but we seem to have done well out of the carousel that is trainee rotation. Couple of real stunners in their early 20's and a blonde and a brunette so all tastes catered for (unless you like men, ebony, mature, plump, Asian or teens).

I do like trainees. I get older, they stay the same age.

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:45 am

seanmichaels wrote:Lavender?

Yep, mixed with stale booze and chips.

by Mind the windows Tino. Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:47 am

superflyweight wrote: ebony, mature, plump, Asian or teens).

That's pretty much what you'd get if you looked on my internet favourites.

by **seanmichaels** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:50 am

My internet favourites tend to be Ransomes, Dennis or Allett.

by **superflyweight** Fri 26 Sep 2014, 8:50 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
superflyweight wrote: men - must be plump and mature - like me).

That's pretty much what you'd get if you looked on my internet favourites.

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