The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 09 Feb 2015, 10:07 am

First topic message reminder :

Once I caught a fish alive.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:20 am

kingraf wrote:And I unfortunately did it smack bang in the next to the speeding paparazzo. Couldn't even see the camera, how dark it was.

Business thing over there I guess. Over here they paint em a fluorescent yellow, so only the people too stupid to make a fuss (and to drive) get caught out. Nice revenue stream and particular danger areas are kept pretty safe.

by Guest Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:29 am

Union Cane wrote:Speeding itself isn't an offence, the offence is to get caught speeding.

Does the same apply for shoplifting and murder, it's only a crime if you get caught?!?!?!!?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:31 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Speeding itself isn't an offence, the offence is to get caught speeding.
Does the same apply for shoplifting and murder, it's only a crime if you get caught?!?!?!!?

Of course. Though shoplifting will cost you a hand and murder will get you a peerage.

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:43 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Speeding itself isn't an offence, the offence is to get caught speeding.
Does the same apply for shoplifting and murder, it's only a crime if you get caught?!?!?!!?

Not quite the same, as morality comes into it in the instances you mention, knowing the difference between good and bad, all that.

Speeding is victimless, and the offence is to be caught travelling in excess of the speed limit. If the offence was travelling in excess of the speed limit then cars would be limited to 70mph.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:49 am

Union Cane wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Speeding itself isn't an offence, the offence is to get caught speeding.
Does the same apply for shoplifting and murder, it's only a crime if you get caught?!?!?!!?

Not quite the same, as morality comes into it in the instances you mention, knowing the difference between good and bad, all that.

Speeding is victimless, and the offence is to be caught travelling in excess of the speed limit. If the offence was travelling in excess of the speed limit then cars would be limited to 70mph.

Deep.....

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:50 am

fried...

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:52 am

testicles...

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:53 am

served...

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 10:56 am

By julius on the tennis thread.

by Guest Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:00 am

Union Cane wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Union Cane wrote:Speeding itself isn't an offence, the offence is to get caught speeding.
Does the same apply for shoplifting and murder, it's only a crime if you get caught?!?!?!!?

Not quite the same, as morality comes into it in the instances you mention, knowing the difference between good and bad, all that.

Speeding is victimless, and the offence is to be caught travelling in excess of the speed limit. If the offence was travelling in excess of the speed limit then cars would be limited to 70mph.

No the offence is to travel in excess of the speed limit, the fact you don't get caught doesn't make it any less wrong. It's illegal to park on double yellow lines, the fact you might not get caught if you nip into the shops for five minutes doesn't make it any less illegal. As for "morality" you know the speed limit and to drive in excess of that limit means you've taken the moral decision to do something you know is wrong however victimless you may feel it is.

Speed limits are imposed with the safety of road users and pedestrians in mind....at increased speeds, many drivers lack the ability to be able to drive safely and considerately. To be honest even under the speed limit many drivers lack the ability to drive safely

"I'm not breaking the speed limit officer"

"No, but you are driving whilst using your mobile phone"

Driving whilst using a mobile phone is a criminal offence yet also "victimless"....unless of course you crash you car and kill/injure someone because you weren't paying attention or driving safely...a bit like when you run into the back of someone because you were driving too quickly

All fun and games until someone loses an eye.

I've been hit twice now by people driving too quickly "Sorry mate, my brakes are sh!t" isn't an excuse. If your brakes are "sh!t and you know it A/ get them fixed and B/ In the interim period, drive at a speed and maintain a large enough distance to ensure you can bring you car to a stop safely. I'm still getting physio for my whiplash injuries and whilst Rowley is right about the condescending attitude of some people on speed awareness courses, perhaps the alternative would be to be lectured by the parents of a child killed by someone driving too quickly which may give you pause for thought when referring to them as a bell-end

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:02 am

tennis

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:06 am

elbow

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:07 am

thick white wrist bands

Sorry to hear about your injuries, DAVE. I hope you make a full recovery.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:15 am

Aye best of luck healing, although please have your mindcock measuring contest elsewhere (Seans bum will host it). No snootiness here unless its Rowley trying to outsmart a light switch.

by Guest Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:17 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Aye best of luck healing, although please have your mindcock measuring contest elsewhere (Seans bum will host it). No snootiness here unless its Rowley trying to outsmart a light switch.

No contest unless he tries in in a B&Q superstore

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:23 am

There's some pretty clever light switches going around these days.

I had a chat with an electrician yesterday.
He suggested something smart but I had to dim down his expectations and keep the amount of sensors to a minimum of between 4-6.

I hate being spied on... too much.

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:24 am

Forget the electrician... how's the night nurse

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:27 am

kingraf wrote:Forget the electrician... how's the night nurse

Probably on Odnoklassniki as we type.

Catching up on the weekend.

by Guest Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:29 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:There's some pretty clever light switches going around these days.

I had a chat with an electrician yesterday.
He suggested something smart but I had to dim down his expectations and keep the amount of sensors to a minimum of between 4-6.

I hate being spied on... too much.

That's Rowley screwed then

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:33 am

Had to Google that tbh...

That is great though, take her jet skiing. Siphon the fuel out, and accidentally run out 5km from the shore (good idea to have a litre or two coincidentally on hand).... Remarkable how many times you can plan a spontaneous connection.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:36 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:
kingraf wrote:Forget the electrician... how's the night nurse

Probably on Odnoklassniki as we type.

Catching up on the weekend.

SNEAKY RUSSIAN BASTARD Hug

So sorry mate

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:38 am

kingraf wrote:Had to Google that tbh...

That is great though, take her jet skiing. Siphon the fuel out, and accidentally run out 5km from the shore (good idea to have a litre or two coincidentally on hand).... Remarkable how many times you can plan a spontaneous connection.

I'll probably take her to the Botanical Gardens. She likes that sort of thing. Have a bite to eat and take it from there.

Jet-skiing is practically banned here, raf.

(also, she works during the day... and is supposed to be studying at night)

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:39 am

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Aye best of luck healing, although please have your mindcock measuring contest elsewhere (Seans bum will host it). No snootiness here unless its Rowley trying to outsmart a light switch.
No contest unless he tries in in a B&Q superstore

In a place where money is spent? And you call yourself a yorkshireman.

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:41 am

Is it because people Siphon the fuel out, and accidentally run out 5km from the shore to plan spontaneous connections (and thereby die in a river)

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:47 am

kingraf wrote:Is it because people Siphon the fuel out, and accidentally run out 5km from the shore to plan spontaneous connections (and thereby die in a river)

You are obsessed! Laugh

Here there is just the harbour and some rivers... never more than 1km to a shoreline.
She actually prefers winter places (loves Tasmania and NZ... so I can help her there).
Want to see her in a skimpy swimsuit though. She'd look good against my new waterfall (when it's finished... the bones are up as of yesterday!)

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:50 am

When my girlfriend and I started dating, I must admit to having toyed with the idea. But she is the daughter of a hard man, and is infinitely better at surviving unideal conditions than the city slicker/idyllic farmer that is I

by **Pal Joey** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:55 am

This one did a bit of army training.

She can take apart a Kalashnikov, reassemble it, load it (in a minute or so) and then hit a distant target between the eyes... she says.

I believe her; except for the "between the eyes" bit which I added for extra effect.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 11:56 am

kingraf wrote:When my girlfriend and I started dating, I must admit to having toyed with the idea. But she is the daughter of a hard man, and is infinitely better at surviving unideal conditions than the city slicker/idyllic farmer that is I

Plus your long flowing blonde locks might be chewed on by any passing wildebeest

by **seanmichaels** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:00 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:There's some pretty clever light switches going around these days.

I had a chat with an electrician yesterday.
He suggested something smart but I had to dim down his expectations and keep the amount of sensors to a minimum of between 4-6.

I hate being spied on... too much.

We have wireless switches. Means you can take the switch off the wall and move to another wall if you want. Pretty pointless really

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:06 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:There's some pretty clever light switches going around these days.

I had a chat with an electrician yesterday.
He suggested something smart but I had to dim down his expectations and keep the amount of sensors to a minimum of between 4-6.

I hate being spied on... too much.

We have wireless switches. Means you can take the switch off the wall and move to another wall if you want. Pretty pointless really

The Poopie people will buy.

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:10 pm

Bog off Shah. My ex girlfriend used to have long flowing locks. Still has them, I think. Weird comparing the two looking at it. Couldn't hope to pick two more completely different people

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:20 pm

kingraf wrote:Bog off Shah. My ex girlfriend used to have long flowing locks. Still has them, I think. Weird comparing the two looking at it. Couldn't hope to pick two more completely different people

Kingraf's first date:

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 12:40 pm

Yeah... she was a bit of a bitch

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 1:56 pm

michaelsed...

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 1:56 pm

Is it safe to come out yet?

(Not like that)

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:13 pm

Apparently, yes it is Union.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:13 pm

Plain portion of chips with grated red leicester cheese and worcester sauce sprinkled on.

6/10

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:16 pm

Thai Chicken and Sweetcorn soup, and a Tuna/mayo sandwich, 7/10

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:20 pm

Sandwich, apple, etc

5/10

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:30 pm

Film

Spoiler:

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:34 pm

Independence Day

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:35 pm

Yers.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:36 pm

Book

Book:

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:39 pm

To Kill A Mockingbird?

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:39 pm

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:41 pm

Mac and Cheese, hake, and pork chunks. In my haste I mistook the pork chunks for beef, and I intensely regret it. Whoever said pork was the candy of meat (might have been Homer Simpson) owes me an apology.

by Guest Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:47 pm

kingraf wrote:Mac and Cheese, hake, and pork chunks. In my haste I mistook the pork chunks for beef, and I intensely regret it. Whoever said pork was the candy of meat (might have been Homer Simpson) owes me an apology.

I take it you have no taste buds or sense of smell. I'm no lover of fish and this didn't help when I had it on holiday

by kingraf Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:49 pm

Taste buds yes. Sense of smell no. I'm wheat intolerant - it blocks up my nose and ears. Can't quite quit wheat based foods though.

by **Union Cane** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 2:57 pm

kingraf wrote:I'm wheat intolerant - it blocks up my nose and ears.

Try putting it in your mouth...

by **seanmichaels** Thu 19 Feb 2015, 3:09 pm

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