The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

We've all missed Tino this week. Everyone has said so, and I'd be putting this on record even if it weren't the thread split post. No, I would be, honestly.

Morning 'fly. Hungover?

Shah - I saw last week that you use Internet Explorer. Why would anybody put themselves through that willfully?

JuliusHMarx wrote:Morning 'fly. Hungover?

Not even remotely.

Spent the day at the Glasgow Science Centre messing about with bubbles with my daughter and then made a cracking paella washed down with two bottles of Goose Island and an episode of Game of Thrones.

I feel dignified today!

superflyweight wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Morning 'fly. Hungover?

Not even remotely.  

Spent the day at the Glasgow Science Centre messing about with bubbles with my daughter and then made a cracking paella washed down with two bottles of Goose Island and an episode of Game of Thrones.

I feel dignified today!

I see there was only one person that wished you happy birthday on the actual day.

I never even post on the weekend or evenings. But I made a special effort just for you.

I saw that Tina and I apologise for not acknowledging it. I guess I was too distracted by the "feeding the horse" line.

superflyweight wrote:I guess I was too distracted by the "feeding the horse" line.    

Not sure if that's a regional thing or not? RicK may be able to confirm.

You really need to say it whilst motioning your hand backwards and forwards as if you have a sugar lump that you're 'feeding to a horse'.

Impact is reduced without the mime.

I'm well aware of the line - a Viz favourite. It just paints a hell of a picture.

Not regional but variations on animal from Pony/ducks etc...

Beautiful.

Who fingered a duck?

I would imagine someone has super...

But this was more to do with the feeding motion, I suspect more people have fed the ducks, as opposed to finger them, but depends where you look online.

But surely feeding ducks involves throwing bread into a pond?

A throwing motion is hardly the type of movement that any self-respecting librarian is going to want replicated within spitting distance of her mimsy.

To be fair, the main idea behind feeding a horse involves keeping the palm and fingers very flat and still...

No much use to a librarians (or any profession)'s mimsy either.

superflyweight wrote:But surely feeding ducks involves throwing bread into a pond?  

A  throwing motion is hardly the type of movement that any self-respecting librarian is going to want replicated within spitting distance of her mimsy.  

I should have tried that. I might have taken her to climax rather than just ending up with smelly fingers and cramp in my wrist.

What about patting the dog. As far as I know it is not a known saying but in the feminist videos I've seen there's a lot of spitting then patting away at the bean.

You always have to lower the tone.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:You always have to lower the tone.

Particularly remarkable today, as I really wouldn't have thought it possible

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:You always have to lower the tone.

No this was a genuine video. A 'youngish' girl turned up at her friend's house to do some homework. The friend was out but the mother invited her in anyway. The mother asks the girl if she has a boyfriend etc. Next minute she's on the bed whilst the mother is spitting at it and tapping away like she was playing the tambourine.

How was your girlfriend sister's party on the weekend, raf?

sean wrote:No this was a genuine video. A 'youngish' girl turned up at her friend's house to do some homework. The friend was out but the mother invited her in anyway. The mother asks the girl if she has a boyfriend etc. Next minute she's on the bed whilst the mother is spitting at it and tapping away like she was playing the tambourine.

The Last Exorcism?

It was a bit like she had a tourniquet on her arm and was trying to raise the vein. Perhaps it has the same effect on the bean?

Has anyone seen the one where a bloke is lying starkers on the floor whilst filming midget women taking run ups and kicking him in the knackers?

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone seen the one where a bloke is lying starkers on the floor whilst filming midget women taking run ups and kicking him in the knackers?

No, I haven't. How could I have missed it?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone seen the one where a bloke is lying starkers on the floor whilst filming midget women taking run ups and kicking him in the knackers?

No, I haven't. How could I have missed it?

Same here. Some idiot moved a chair as I was doing my run up. Almost broke my ribs.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone seen the one where a bloke is lying starkers on the floor whilst filming midget women taking run ups and kicking him in the knackers?

No, I haven't. How could I have missed it?

Do you not have whatsapp? Essential app for leftfield porn. There was one going round that involved 2 women, one with flatulence, and a can of squirty cream. Too disturbing to repeat.

The Loaded Dog wrote:How was your girlfriend sister's party on the weekend, raf?

It was quite fun actually. Didn't know what to get her, as kids these days don't do toys, and money never goes down well with the parents. Decided to get her a fresh pair of Adidas Gazelles, like mine, just for girls. Got them in Blue and White. Or white and blue, depending on how you see the colour spectrum.

Food was great, and Toy Story 1-3 are in my top ten animated films, so a marathon was just about bearable.

Sweet child, could be just the type of girl to calm down Tiña's feral beast.

How's the nurse?

seanmichaels wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Has anyone seen the one where a bloke is lying starkers on the floor whilst filming midget women taking run ups and kicking him in the knackers?

No, I haven't. How could I have missed it?

Do you not have whatsapp? Essential app for leftfield porn. There was one going round that involved 2 women, one with flatulence, and a can of squirty cream. Too disturbing to repeat.

Essential app for left field porn? Learn something new every day

kingraf wrote:Decided to get her a fresh pair of Adidas Gazelles, like mine, just for girls. Got them in Blue and White. Or white and blue, depending on how you see the colour spectrum.

?

seanmichaels wrote:

kingraf wrote:Decided to get her a fresh pair of Adidas Gazelles, like mine, just for girls. Got them in Blue and White. Or white and blue, depending on how you see the colour spectrum.

?

The design is nearly identical - indeed, I don't really know what the difference is, but mine is a Size 11 for men, hers is a girls size 2

kingraf wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:How was your girlfriend sister's party on the weekend, raf?

It was quite fun actually. Didn't know what to get her, as kids these days don't do toys, and money never goes down well with the parents. Decided to get her a fresh pair of Adidas Gazelles, like mine, just for girls. Got them in Blue and White. Or white and blue, depending on how you see the colour spectrum.

Food was great, and Toy Story 1-3 are in my top ten animated films, so a marathon was just about bearable.

Sweet child, could be just the type of girl to calm down Tiña's feral beast.

How's the nurse?

Fine. Went to a festival with her the weekend before last. We had a fun-filled afternoon. I think she's trying to groom me.
She wants me to take her out again "somewhere in the city" on Saturday night. (we were both busy this last weekend)
I didn't mention that I own a serviced apartment in York St. It's usually booked out though... so I might have to look at other options.
Need to strike whilst my iron is hot, yeah? Feeling up for it.

The Loaded Dog wrote:

kingraf wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:How was your girlfriend sister's party on the weekend, raf?

It was quite fun actually. Didn't know what to get her, as kids these days don't do toys, and money never goes down well with the parents. Decided to get her a fresh pair of Adidas Gazelles, like mine, just for girls. Got them in Blue and White. Or white and blue, depending on how you see the colour spectrum.

Food was great, and Toy Story 1-3 are in my top ten animated films, so a marathon was just about bearable.

Sweet child, could be just the type of girl to calm down Tiña's feral beast.

How's the nurse?

Fine. Went to a festival with her the weekend before last. We had a fun-filled afternoon. I think she's trying to groom me.
She wants me to take her out again "somewhere in the city" on Saturday night. (we were both busy this last weekend)
I didn't mention that I own a serviced apartment in York St. It's usually booked out though... so I might have to look at other options.
Need to strike whilst my iron is hot, yeah? Feeling up for it.

Top stuff LD. She isn't Tiña, so if she wants to groom you, let her. There is (basically) nothing to lose. Strike hard, strike fast, strike now.

The Loaded Dog wrote:"somewhere in the city"

"where the air is still".

JuliusHMarx wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:"somewhere in the city"

"where the air is still".

We might even "walk down love's motorway".

Hugh Jackman is going to be on Radio 2 shortly. He's just been described as "Possibly the World's Nicest Man"

I'm going to listen just to see if Tina's opinion of him is wholly unjustified or bang on the money (I admit I'll not be able to tell if he's wearing sunglasses on the radio but hopefully Steve Wright will tell us this little factoid)

He was on Graham Norton Friday Dave. I told TSMR Tina's story about him, she did not seem swayed enough to go off him.

DAVE667 wrote:"Possibly the World's Nicest Man"

You see, this is the sort of thing that really p*sses me off about him. He gives this image of being one of Hollywood's nice guys yet the bloke is a complete c*ckface. A b*llend.

He isn't even honest enough to be the person he really is. At least Christian Bale acts like a knob all the time. No front with him. There is an honesty about the man, even if we find it easy to hate him.

Hugh f*cking Jackman is a c*nt. A sunglasses indoors wearing c*nt. A rude, swearing in front of children c*nt.

F*cking c*nt.

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you. You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors. At night.

That exhausted me.

It's going to take a while to calm down from this.

I must be honest... Hugh Jackman seems a nice enough guy. He was in Joburg for some film where he needed a chest double, should have made a greater attempt to find out if he's a nice guy then.

Jonathan Ross was on the tele over Christmas, apparently one of his friends was an extra on The Dark Knight Rises and when they were filming the scenes on Wall Street he went over and asked Bale where he was from originally, as he was also Welsh and so thought it might be a nice distraction, meeting a fellow countryman in such an unusual circumstance. When he asked Bale where he was from originally he said Gotham, not only did he say it, he said it in his batman voice. Supports Tina’s bell end theory.

Not annoyed with Jackman but am getting pi$$ed off with Steve Wright as he promised he's be on next but I'm still waiting!!!! Mind you, this might be due to Jackman making unreasonable Hollywood type demands such as ensuring that everyone at the BBC is wearing sunglasses indoors but none of them as are cool as his or that bus loads of children be brought within earshot for when he swears

Rowley wrote:Jonathan Ross was on the tele over Christmas, apparently one of his friends was an extra on The Dark Knight Rises and when they were filming the scenes on Wall Street he went over and asked Bale where he was from originally, as he was also Welsh and so thought it might be a nice distraction, meeting a fellow countryman in such an unusual circumstance. When he asked Bale where he was from originally he said Gotham, not only did he say it, he said it in his batman voice. Supports Tina’s bell end theory.

He's forever "remaining in character" is Bale. Like Olivier said, "have you tried acting dear?"

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you.  You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors.  At night.

Thanks Tina, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Funnily enough TSMR has had a car from work the last couple of weeks so I have not been sharing with her. I have barely listened to any jazz, she may have a point that I only listen it to annoy her.

perhaps he had a sty (like me) and momentarily lost his cool saying 'this c*nting sty phucking hurts'. windows was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you.  You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors.  At night.

Thanks Tina, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Funnily enough TSMR has had a car from work the last couple of weeks so I have not been sharing with her. I have barely listened to any jazz, she may have a point that I only listen it to annoy her.

I only listen to METAL when the wife's not in the car and therefore I'm a much nicer person than you even though I'd love to do it just to annoy her. Still no sign of Jackman...Wright and his crew now talking about who the biggest Luddite is amongst them. Am now hoping Jackman has his Wolverine claws with him and disembowels the f*cking lot of them when he finally turns up

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you.  You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors.  At night.

Thanks Tina, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Funnily enough TSMR has had a car from work the last couple of weeks so I have not been sharing with her. I have barely listened to any jazz, she may have a point that I only listen it to annoy her.

Listening tothe new charlatans album instead? I don't think , as some have said, it is their best album but best for a long time. Come Home Baby is a cracker straight out of the mid 90's.

DAVE667 wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you.  You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors.  At night.

Thanks Tina, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Funnily enough TSMR has had a car from work the last couple of weeks so I have not been sharing with her. I have barely listened to any jazz, she may have a point that I only listen it to annoy her.

I only listen to METAL when the wife's not in the car and therefore I'm a much nicer person than you even though I'd love to do it just to annoy her. Still no sign of Jackman...Wright and his crew now talking about who the biggest Luddite is amongst them. Am now hoping Jackman has his Wolverine claws with him and disembowels the f*cking lot of them when he finally turns up

He won't do that as he is such a nice guy. Such a lovely, friendly chap.

W*nker.

I bet he was late as some poor BBC runner hadn't got his room temperature, double shot, skinny caramel latte. Then he'll come on the radio and gush over the BBC and Steve Wright and how humble he is and how the support of his fans means the the world to him.

F*CKING C*NTFACE.

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you.  You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors.  At night.

Thanks Tina, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Funnily enough TSMR has had a car from work the last couple of weeks so I have not been sharing with her. I have barely listened to any jazz, she may have a point that I only listen it to annoy her.

Listening tothe new charlatans album instead? I don't think , as some have said, it is their best album but best for a long time. Come Home Baby is a cracker straight out of the mid 90's.

I have been listening it a lot Sean, I think it one of their better albums, not sure it is their best but it is certainly their strongest in a while. Looking forward to Saturday and hearing it live.

Lovely bloke, that Hugh Jackman. Salt of the earth. Lovely fella.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

And Jeff, TSMR is better off with you.  You might be a t*sser sometimes and a crushingly annoying music snob, but I bet you have never worn sunglasses indoors.  At night.

Thanks Tina, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Funnily enough TSMR has had a car from work the last couple of weeks so I have not been sharing with her. I have barely listened to any jazz, she may have a point that I only listen it to annoy her.

I only listen to METAL when the wife's not in the car and therefore I'm a much nicer person than you even though I'd love to do it just to annoy her. Still no sign of Jackman...Wright and his crew now talking about who the biggest Luddite is amongst them. Am now hoping Jackman has his Wolverine claws with him and disembowels the f*cking lot of them when he finally turns up

He won't do that as he is such a nice guy.  Such a lovely, friendly chap.

W*nker.  

I bet he was late as some poor BBC runner hadn't got his room temperature, double shot, skinny caramel latte.  Then he'll come on the radio and gush over the BBC and Steve Wright and how humble he is and how the support of his fans means the the world to him.

F*CKING C*NTFACE.

You may be correct but Steve Wright is such a massive bell end himself that Lord only knows what's causing the hold up. Am having to listen to Fine Young Cannibals at the minute which is reminding me of the Culture Cup and therefore making me angry and nauseous at the same time.