Lancaster Interview Leak

Present Ian McGeechan, Rob Andrew, Conor O'Shea, Richard Hill, Stuart Lancaster.

RA: Welcome Stuart, take a seat. Firstly, unfortunately Mr Ritchie can't be here today. He sends his apologies, he had some urgent RFU business to attend to and hence has made himself unavailable.

SL: Shrugs.

RA: Getting right to the point, we need to get on-message. Yes, we're about rugby. We are the RFU, rugby is what we do. But along with that we of course continue to be motivated to see genuine leveraging of resouces, particularly through diversity of attenuity in our greater brand, and in that arena we're seeing positive returns in terms of deliverables thus far, so we've taken that on board and despite a certain amount of restructurable negative growth we're not out of vector with the projections, yet in terms of providing results to the sponsors we're keen to kick on in the next quarter and demonstrate some real market making potential to repay the lattitude of some of the stake holders, especially in the prevailing climate. With that in view we feel that in this initial meeting we'd most like to put in place an initial framework that looks to incentivize the synergy in any potential relationship by enableing unbiquitous fictionless convergence through a process of both blue-sky 360 degree feedback on a back drop of some scenario models, that we might expedite a further projection of the likely response-feedback, that we might ensure that we embrace the common paradigm?

SL: Sorry, I didn't catch that.
RA: [Writes notes furiously]

COS: We wud jist loike ter try a few role plays 'ere stuart, if that's dead on witcha? yer nu, suggest sum situashuns an' clap 'oy ye'd respond. is dat dead on?
That's gran'.

SL: [uncomfortably moves in chair] Role plays?

RA: [Writes notes furiously]

SIM: Aye! Sae ye ur thaur poondin' awa' oan th' line but th' defence willnae gie in an' yoo're trailin' by 'en points an' th' referee is bein' a pain in th' crease an' aw th' reserves ye hae left oan th' subs bench ur puir players. If ye coods hae yer time again...whit dae ye dae?

Lancaster: [sweating] Um. Could you repeat the question?

RA: [Writes notes furiously]

RH: Look Stuart. I know you're the new kid on the block, but I see in you someone like me. So I'm going to cut through the crap here and get down to the point. Really address the nitty gritty. Like when I was there with England in '03 and time was up on the clock and we were standing on the brink. Standing on the brink. On one side, glory, the other a pit Stuart, a pit. The darkest pit, like I was in when I did the Hamstring in 2004. I felt like the game had moved on and I couldn't keep up. Mentally Stuart. Mentally. But also physically. You reach a point when the body wont respond when the brain commands "Into the breach, once more, in the breach". So that's where I was. And I see you there now Stuart. You are in the same place. We're all English, you and me and that's when you've got to know who you are and who's on your side and assess the risks and make your move. Quickly. And without hesitation Stuart. [Wipes tear from cheek]

Lancaster: [blinks, eyes door]

RA: [Writes notes furiously]

SIM: [wide eyed] A' yer thaur leadin' th' lions, representin' these fower coontries ay oors, in th' harsh pit ay th' beest thaur in sooth africa an' yoo've taken a maulin' oan th' field an' aff but yoo've got a body mair chance, a body mair gang at th' enemy. ye cannae win th' war, but th' battle! it's still up fur grabs. whit dae ye dae stuart? whit dae ye dae?

COS: Makes me tursty ter tink av it geech. Gentlemen. Shud we stop for jar at dis point?

You're definately Ghost

(Slight point that McGeechan was born and bred Yorkshireman so the accent is off a little)

HammerofThunor wrote:You're definately Ghost

(Slight point that McGeechan was born and bred Yorkshireman so the accent is off a little)

Really? Well that's fecked it then.

although I suspect the truth is far stranger than the fiction in this case.

miteyironpaw wrote:

HammerofThunor wrote:You're definately Ghost

(Slight point that McGeechan was born and bred Yorkshireman so the accent is off a little)

Really? Well that's fecked it then.

If you read it with a Yorkshire accent it kind of works so go with it.

I am surprised Richard Hill is in the selection panel and not in contention himself.

I think he would be a great man for the job, well respected former player, ten years coaching experience often getting the best out of weak clubs.

Lancaster interviews leek?

Leek? Was he applying for the Welsh job as well?

Good to have you back . Classic stuff.

As a genuine question, how has Lancaster held up? If they announced him on a three year deal, would England fans accept it as a good move? Would you need a Mallet or better to justify ousting him, or would near anyone do?

boomeranga wrote:As a genuine question, how has Lancaster held up? If they announced him on a three year deal, would England fans accept it as a good move? Would you need a Mallet or better to justify ousting him, or would near anyone do?

Well Boomeranga. Every time England win a game, or come close against a top 3 nation, we'll celebrate his appointment and claim it was The Right Move.

Whenever there's a hiccup, embarrassing loss or off-field debacle we'll claim that he's a plonker and the decision to appoint him was typical of the idiots at RFU who couldn't secure anyone better, proposing a list of lofty and unavailable candidates.

miteyironpaw wrote:

boomeranga wrote:As a genuine question, how has Lancaster held up? If they announced him on a three year deal, would England fans accept it as a good move? Would you need a Mallet or better to justify ousting him, or would near anyone do?

Well Boomeranga. Every time England win a game, or come close against a top 3 nation, we'll celebrate his appointment and claim it was The Right Move.

Whenever there's a hiccup, embarrassing loss or off-field debacle we'll claim that he's a plonker and the decision to appoint him was typical of the idiots at RFU who couldn't secure anyone better, proposing a list of lofty and unavailable candidates.

I think that covers it pretty well