Dick Francis, Johnnie Francome et al beware!

Have been having a good look at some of the other site threads and thought us horse racing pundits could easily come up with a new raunchy horse racing based best-selling novel to rival the above authors. Having read quite a few of these type of novels I think we could make a decent bash at it.

Lets keep it a couple of paragraphs each post and see where it leads, seeing as I am the bright spark suggesting it, I'll make an attempt at the opening couple.

Just copy & paste whats been written and add your own continuation.

OK here goes:-

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

Lol......just be careful with the raunchy bit folks.

I'll be useless at this but I'll try and contribute......sounds good so far..... very Jilly Cooperesque

Solerina

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

Rupert Pilkington-Davis had been Jennie's love interest since that fateful day the previous August when she had saddled Ashgill to win the Lowther Stakes, the chestnuts owners Lord & Lady Swinhill had introduced her to their dashing ex-army seargent nephew in the Owners bar after the horses four length victory in the York sunshine

Although privately educated Rupert immediately came across as a decent no nonsense down to earth type of chap, stating his time spent in Northern Ireland had made him realise that the greens of Eton were far from real lifes harsh realities, Jenny was immediately smitten by his easy manner and she gladly accepted his dinner invite.

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

Rupert Pilkington-Davis had been Jennie's love interest since that fateful day the previous August when she had saddled Ashgill to win the Lowther Stakes, the chestnuts owners Lord & Lady Swinhill had introduced her to their dashing ex-army seargent nephew in the Owners bar after the horses four length victory in the York sunshine

Although privately educated Rupert immediately came across as a decent no nonsense down to earth type of chap, stating his time spent in Northern Ireland had made him realise that the greens of Eton were far from real lifes harsh realities, Jenny was immediately smitten by his easy manner and she gladly accepted his dinner invite.

Jenny will never forget that first date......she'd been deliberating for hours as to what she was going to wear.....she opted, eventually, for a red satin figure hugging dress, which showed off her enviable curves to perfection.
Her long blonde hair shimmered like spun silk in the late evening sunlight.

Rupert called to pick her up exactly on time........her heart was racing just a little as he ran his eyes appreciativley over her.......she knew he liked what he was seeing.
Yes.....she really had gone to a lot of effort to look nice for Rupert on their first date.........so she was more than a bit miffed when, twenty minutes later, she found herself sitting in Wetherspoons!

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

Rupert Pilkington-Davis had been Jennie's love interest since that fateful day the previous August when she had saddled Ashgill to win the Lowther Stakes, the chestnuts owners Lord & Lady Swinhill had introduced her to their dashing ex-army seargent nephew in the Owners bar after the horses four length victory in the York sunshine

Although privately educated Rupert immediately came across as a decent no nonsense down to earth type of chap, stating his time spent in Northern Ireland had made him realise that the greens of Eton were far from real lifes harsh realities, Jenny was immediately smitten by his easy manner and she gladly accepted his dinner invite.

Jenny will never forget that first date......she'd been deliberating for hours as to what she was going to wear.....she opted, eventually, for a red satin figure hugging dress, which showed off her enviable curves to perfection.
Her long blonde hair shimmered like spun silk in the late evening sunlight.

Rupert called to pick her up exactly on time........her heart was racing just a little as he ran his eyes appreciativley over her.......she knew he liked what he was seeing.
Yes.....she really had gone to a lot of effort to look nice for Rupert on their first date.........so she was more than a bit miffed when, twenty minutes later, she found herself sitting in Wetherspoons!

The Bishops Mill hostelry in Durham was not exactly what Jenny had imagined when Rupert had suggested dinner, but by the time she had managed to get the horsebox through the nightmare traffic exiting from the Knavesmire course she would have settled for fish & chips and a quiet night beside her log fire, but Rupert seemed the punctual type and after a shower she felt reinvigorated and excited at the prospect of some much needed fun.

The short drive to Durham from her yard in Stanhope in the middle of the Wear Valley had been spent listening to Rupert explain why he had left the army, his stories of far off places Jenny had only ever seen in travel brochures made the time pass by quickly and she found herself being drawn to this mysterious attractive man.

Sol, only me and your good self contributing here, but already I can see some big publisher approaching us wantin to buy the rights, christ it could even be a film!

C'mon guys a wee bit of assistance would be appreciated.

Here,have you lot been reading my memoirs!! Stories about red figure hugging dresses,fish and chips,Aston Martins and invigorating showers,youve had inside info of somebody

racingnut wrote:Here,have you lot been reading my memoirs!! Stories about red figure hugging dresses,fish and chips,Aston Martins and invigorating showers,youve had inside info of somebody

Lol racingnut.......do feel free to add a paragraph to Swansea's story.

Swansea you're very good at this........I'm rubbish! lol

I've been extra busy today.....will try and write another couple of sentences tomorrow....I'm also suffering from writer's block..........big respect to Jilly Cooper!

Solerina

Sol, look forward to your next contribution.

Now I,ve finally realised why I spent 4 years at Uni, to write slushy horseracing novels. my old tutors would be so proud!

Sorry Sol i couldnt possibly add my comments,i have a very limited vocabulary,about 28 words i reckon and 27 of them a "bad ones"

Thought I'd better add a wee bit as my novel writing partner Sol seems to have developed a bad case of writers block!




The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

Rupert Pilkington-Davis had been Jennie's love interest since that fateful day the previous August when she had saddled Ashgill to win the Lowther Stakes, the chestnuts owners Lord & Lady Swinhill had introduced her to their dashing ex-army seargent nephew in the Owners bar after the horses four length victory in the York sunshine

Although privately educated Rupert immediately came across as a decent no nonsense down to earth type of chap, stating his time spent in Northern Ireland had made him realise that the greens of Eton were far from real lifes harsh realities, Jenny was immediately smitten by his easy manner and she gladly accepted his dinner invite.

Jenny will never forget that first date......she'd been deliberating for hours as to what she was going to wear.....she opted, eventually, for a red satin figure hugging dress, which showed off her enviable curves to perfection.
Her long blonde hair shimmered like spun silk in the late evening sunlight.

Rupert called to pick her up exactly on time........her heart was racing just a little as he ran his eyes appreciativley over her.......she knew he liked what he was seeing.
Yes.....she really had gone to a lot of effort to look nice for Rupert on their first date.........so she was more than a bit miffed when, twenty minutes later, she found herself sitting in Wetherspoons!

The Bishops Mill hostelry in Durham was not exactly what Jenny had imagined when Rupert had suggested dinner, but by the time she had managed to get the horsebox through the nightmare traffic exiting from the Knavesmire course she would have settled for fish & chips and a quiet night beside her log fire, but Rupert seemed the punctual type and after a shower she felt reinvigorated and excited at the prospect of some much needed fun.

The short drive to Durham from her yard in Stanhope in the middle of the Wear Valley had been spent listening to Rupert explain why he had left the army, his stories of far off places Jenny had only ever seen in travel brochures made the time pass by quickly and she found herself being drawn to this mysterious attractive man.

That first night now seemed like an eternity ago, and as Rupert entered the small office he was full of apologies for the damage done to the garden furniture, "Morning Jenny, thats a visit to B&Q I owe you". Jenny looked up from her accounts books and realised that a few clay pots were a small price to pay for the company of such a fine piece of stock such as Rupert.

"How long you going to be with your paperwork" asked Rupert, Jenny replied that she was wasting her time but needed to check with Billy Fisher her head lad to make sure the two horses due to run tomorrow had returned safe and well from their morning gallops. Both horses were due to run at Newcastle the following day and Jenny liked to keep a close watch on the condition of her charges 24 hours prior to them running.

Swanseadabber wrote: a small price to pay for the company of such a fine piece of stock such as Rupert.

LOL!

I think you've been reading too many Jilly Cooper books Swansea.........tho' I must say you're very good at this.

Solerina

Sol, have never read a JC novel in my life just get bored and my mind wanders off on different tangents, glad your enjoying my wafflings

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

Rupert Pilkington-Davis had been Jennie's love interest since that fateful day the previous August when she had saddled Ashgill to win the Lowther Stakes, the chestnuts owners Lord & Lady Swinhill had introduced her to their dashing ex-army seargent nephew in the Owners bar after the horses four length victory in the York sunshine

Although privately educated Rupert immediately came across as a decent no nonsense down to earth type of chap, stating his time spent in Northern Ireland had made him realise that the greens of Eton were far from real lifes harsh realities, Jenny was immediately smitten by his easy manner and she gladly accepted his dinner invite.

Jenny will never forget that first date......she'd been deliberating for hours as to what she was going to wear.....she opted, eventually, for a red satin figure hugging dress, which showed off her enviable curves to perfection.
Her long blonde hair shimmered like spun silk in the late evening sunlight.

Rupert called to pick her up exactly on time........her heart was racing just a little as he ran his eyes appreciativley over her.......she knew he liked what he was seeing.
Yes.....she really had gone to a lot of effort to look nice for Rupert on their first date.........so she was more than a bit miffed when, twenty minutes later, she found herself sitting in Wetherspoons!

The Bishops Mill hostelry in Durham was not exactly what Jenny had imagined when Rupert had suggested dinner, but by the time she had managed to get the horsebox through the nightmare traffic exiting from the Knavesmire course she would have settled for fish & chips and a quiet night beside her log fire, but Rupert seemed the punctual type and after a shower she felt reinvigorated and excited at the prospect of some much needed fun.

The short drive to Durham from her yard in Stanhope in the middle of the Wear Valley had been spent listening to Rupert explain why he had left the army, his stories of far off places Jenny had only ever seen in travel brochures made the time pass by quickly and she found herself being drawn to this mysterious attractive man.

That first night now seemed like an eternity ago, and as Rupert entered the small office he was full of apologies for the damage done to the garden furniture, "Morning Jenny, thats a visit to B&Q I owe you". Jenny looked up from her accounts books and realised that a few clay pots were a small price to pay for the company of such a fine piece of stock such as Rupert.

"How long you going to be with your paperwork" asked Rupert, Jenny replied that she was wasting her time but needed to check with Billy Fisher her head lad to make sure the two horses due to run tomorrow had returned safe and well from their morning gallops. Both horses were due to run at Newcastle the following day and Jenny liked to keep a close watch on the condition of her charges 24 hours prior to them running

The early morning sun was threatening to break through the clouded sky as Jenny and Rupert headed towards the stable block, as they entered the big double doors Jenny could hear the rustle of the horses enjoying their freshly laid straw. Suddenly Billy Fisher appeared with a worried look over his rugged weather-beaten Scottish face, " Somethings not right Guv, Misty does not look right and she ain't eating up".

When Jenny entered No 8 stall she could see straight away that the three year old filly Misty Charmer was in distress, her breathing was erratic and the normally laid back horse was thrashing her tail in discomfort. Within the hour Jenny's vet Nigel Hunter had arrived and as Jenny, Rupert & Billy huddled together outside Misty's box awaiting the veterenarians verdict Jenny sighed " Something is far from right here , and I don't like it one little bit"

CHAPTER 1

The smile on Jenny Dunbar's face resembled that of a four year old child waking on Christmas morning, her two year old colt Symington Tinto had just produced a sparkling piece of work on the gallops a half hour previous.

Jenny was ensconsed in her small stable office trying desperately to balance her accounts, the winners had dried up over the past month and despite her expensive vets reassurances that her stable was ailment free she could not get to the bottom of why her horses had been running so poorly at the track.

She heard a car pulling up outside.......she looked out the window to see her boyfriend's Aston Martin coming to a halt outside her office ....unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and ran into one of her carefully tended clay plant pots, filled with geraniums, there was smashed pot and soil everywhere........her day was going from bad to worse!

Rupert Pilkington-Davis had been Jennie's love interest since that fateful day the previous August when she had saddled Ashgill to win the Lowther Stakes, the chestnuts owners Lord & Lady Swinhill had introduced her to their dashing ex-army seargent nephew in the Owners bar after the horses four length victory in the York sunshine

Although privately educated Rupert immediately came across as a decent no nonsense down to earth type of chap, stating his time spent in Northern Ireland had made him realise that the greens of Eton were far from real lifes harsh realities, Jenny was immediately smitten by his easy manner and she gladly accepted his dinner invite.

Jenny will never forget that first date......she'd been deliberating for hours as to what she was going to wear.....she opted, eventually, for a red satin figure hugging dress, which showed off her enviable curves to perfection.
Her long blonde hair shimmered like spun silk in the late evening sunlight.

Rupert called to pick her up exactly on time........her heart was racing just a little as he ran his eyes appreciativley over her.......she knew he liked what he was seeing.
Yes.....she really had gone to a lot of effort to look nice for Rupert on their first date.........so she was more than a bit miffed when, twenty minutes later, she found herself sitting in Wetherspoons!

The Bishops Mill hostelry in Durham was not exactly what Jenny had imagined when Rupert had suggested dinner, but by the time she had managed to get the horsebox through the nightmare traffic exiting from the Knavesmire course she would have settled for fish & chips and a quiet night beside her log fire, but Rupert seemed the punctual type and after a shower she felt reinvigorated and excited at the prospect of some much needed fun.

The short drive to Durham from her yard in Stanhope in the middle of the Wear Valley had been spent listening to Rupert explain why he had left the army, his stories of far off places Jenny had only ever seen in travel brochures made the time pass by quickly and she found herself being drawn to this mysterious attractive man.

That first night now seemed like an eternity ago, and as Rupert entered the small office he was full of apologies for the damage done to the garden furniture, "Morning Jenny, thats a visit to B&Q I owe you". Jenny looked up from her accounts books and realised that a few clay pots were a small price to pay for the company of such a fine piece of stock such as Rupert.

"How long you going to be with your paperwork" asked Rupert, Jenny replied that she was wasting her time but needed to check with Billy Fisher her head lad to make sure the two horses due to run tomorrow had returned safe and well from their morning gallops. Both horses were due to run at Newcastle the following day and Jenny liked to keep a close watch on the condition of her charges 24 hours prior to them running

The early morning sun was threatening to break through the clouded sky as Jenny and Rupert headed towards the stable block, as they entered the big double doors Jenny could hear the rustle of the horses enjoying their freshly laid straw. Suddenly Billy Fisher appeared with a worried look over his rugged weather-beaten Scottish face, " Somethings not right Guv, Misty does not look right and she ain't eating up".

When Jenny entered No 8 stall she could see straight away that the three year old filly Misty Charmer was in distress, her breathing was erratic and the normally laid back horse was thrashing her tail in discomfort. Within the hour Jenny's vet Nigel Hunter had arrived and as Jenny, Rupert & Billy huddled together outside Misty's box awaiting the veterenarians verdict Jenny sighed " Something is far from right here , and I don't like it one little bit"


CHAPTER TWO

High on the hillside overlooking the yard Vinny Cole looked through his bins and took in the unfurling events in the Dunbar yard, he would have much rather shot the bloody horse, but his instructions were simple - no noise, no distractions and above all don't be seen! He was not happy with having to carry out orders but he needed the £5k the job was paying, that would keep the wolves from the door for a wee while and more importantly would put a smile on the face of his beloved wife Rosie.

Vinny knew nothing about injecting horses but he had followed the instructions given to him and stabbed the needle into the animals shoulder, then quickly made himself scarce - he had waited til the second string of horses went to the gallops and knew he had not been seen. He would be at Newcastle Airport in two hours and back home in the the Tyrone countryside town of Coalisland in time for a few beers with Dessie & Brian in McGirrs Bar before dinnertime, not a bad days work!



[b][i][u]

Swansea,you are good at this my friend but you need to get out more

racingnut wrote:Swansea,you are good at this my friend but you need to get out more

Lol!

Racing's right Swansea you're good at this......hurry up and write a bit more I want to find out what happens,

Solerina

CHAPTER TWO

High on the hillside overlooking the yard Vinny Cole looked through his bins and took in the unfurling events in the Dunbar yard, he would have much rather shot the bloody horse, but his instructions were simple - no noise, no distractions and above all don't be seen! He was not happy with having to carry out orders but he needed the £5k the job was paying, that would keep the wolves from the door for a wee while and more importantly would put a smile on the face of his beloved wife Rosie.

Vinny knew nothing about injecting horses but he had followed the instructions given to him and stabbed the needle into the animals shoulder, then quickly made himself scarce - he had waited til the second string of horses went to the gallops and knew he had not been seen. He would be at Newcastle Airport in two hours and back home in the the Tyrone countryside town of Coalisland in time for a few beers with Dessie & Brian in McGirrs Bar before dinnertime, not a bad days work!

************************

Nigel Hunter had been a qualified vet for 15 years, he had never come across a scenario such as the one before him, he believed the filly had been given a dose of some form of tranquiliser such as Ketamine but until he had the lab results back in ten days or so he would not know for sure. He had advised Jenny to keep a careful watch over the horse but believed the filly would recover in time, however she would not be travelling to the racetrack tomorrow as was planned.

On Nigel's insistence Jenny had telephoned Northumbria Police to report the incident and was told that a detective would be with her shortly, she also had the task of reporting the event to the horses owners who had stated they were heading North from their base in Leicester to "find out exactly what had happened to their pride & joy".

Jenny called her seven staff into her dining room and asked them all to write down their recollections of the morning and asked them to think of anything or anyone unusual since the first lot had left the yard this morning. Jenny trusted each and every one of her small workforce implicitly and could not bring herself to think that any of them would be responsible for this mornings ghastly occurence.

Billy Fisher came into the house accompanied by a large rotund man who identified himself as DCI Joe Henderson, he was followed by a younger man with a cheerful sun-tanned complexion who Henderson introduced as his sidekick PC Andrew Burns, the two men spent the next two hours taking statements from Jenny, Rupert, Nigel and all the yards employees.

When they left, all Jenny could think about was the first question Henderson had asked her after he had inspected the stable block and been told of Nigels verdict of foul-play - " Miss Dunbar, do you know of anyone who has a grudge against yourself, and has anything unusual been occuring recently in the yard?"

Was the poor recent form of her horses and the happenings of this morning connected or was Jenny just being paranoid?