The Last Film watched (CONTAINS A LOT OF SPOILERS)

superflyweight wrote:

Scott is Back wrote:"Thor - Ragnarok"

Tino memorial rating : 7.5874 - Not seen any of the previous Thor's, but this one looked all new and shiny, so thought i would give it a whirl.

GSoE: 8.6

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 8/10 – Thor Ragnarok - Well the main man is ol' Thor, God of Thunder & all that jazz....so thats a good start. Ragnarok as a word features quite heavily, still no overly sure what it was, but it was mentioned a lot.

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - one topless scene where God of Pecs shows off his rippling torso, and the Hulk gets his dimply arse-cheeks out. Not sure if i would class it as a war, but some fisty-cuffs ensued, and there was a winner, so i suppose it could be a war.... who knows, certainly not me!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - The wife was sent to sainsburys for some steak, and returned with the film, so it didnt cost me anything, but the Scott household took a hit of £9.99.

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Piss off Ghost" - Said in a South African/Australian Accent, i couldnt tell which (is this racist?)

If Barry Norman had done his reviews like this he wouldn't be dead now.  

Was he murdered due to his substandard movie reviewing technique?

Scott is Back wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Scott is Back wrote:"Thor - Ragnarok"

Tino memorial rating : 7.5874 - Not seen any of the previous Thor's, but this one looked all new and shiny, so thought i would give it a whirl.

GSoE: 8.6

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 8/10 – Thor Ragnarok - Well the main man is ol' Thor, God of Thunder & all that jazz....so thats a good start. Ragnarok as a word features quite heavily, still no overly sure what it was, but it was mentioned a lot.

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - one topless scene where God of Pecs shows off his rippling torso, and the Hulk gets his dimply arse-cheeks out. Not sure if i would class it as a war, but some fisty-cuffs ensued, and there was a winner, so i suppose it could be a war.... who knows, certainly not me!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - The wife was sent to sainsburys for some steak, and returned with the film, so it didnt cost me anything, but the Scott household took a hit of £9.99.

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Piss off Ghost" - Said in a South African/Australian Accent, i couldnt tell which (is this racist?)

If Barry Norman had done his reviews like this he wouldn't be dead now.  

Was he murdered due to his substandard movie reviewing technique?

Shoosh.

Excellent review, the racism only adds to it. If Barry Norman reviewed films like that I wouldn't have been forced to smother him with his pillow.

profitius wrote:I saw a few recently.

The Mercy is a true story of a round the world boat endurance race. If follows Donald something who pretended he was further than he actually went. It's not going to win any best movies but i enjoyed it.

Three billboards. It was one of those where you're waiting for something to happen, then it ends! A bit overrated although well acted and nicely shot film.

On many cult classic lists you'll find 'The Warriors'. Set in the late 70s it starts off as a mega meeting of all the gangs in New York. When the speaker gets shot and killed, the warriors are framed. They then have to travel back through NY in the middle of the night while being chased by other gangs. The acting isn't great and it ain't big budget but you get a real taste of the gritty NY of the 70s and it's culture. It's also a bit of an adventure traveling through the urban jungle.

Warriors is a wonderful film, based on an old greek story about the escape of a greek mercenary army from Persia after their patron had died. (Xenophon Anabasis). The acting isn't always great, and some of the language has not dated well, but it is well worth catching if you have never seen it. "Waaaaarriors, come out to plaaaay"

Sounds like Assault on Precinct 13 with Wheels - or - Some like it Hot without the laughs?

It's good (although the high camp provided by the roller-skating gang undermines the sense of threat a fair bit) but it's nowhere near as great as those two films.

Managed to get a ticket for the unlimited screening of Ready Player One last night. Only read the book the other month and really enjoyed it, was somewhat apprehensive of how they would put the ideas forward on screen, but it was a very entertaining movie

There was a number of changes from the book, some of which were required, some I'd rather they left alone, however some of the additional content was really good

Solid 7/10 for me, will watch again when it's released next week

Both Tim and Jim from The Office (UK and US) feature in horror movies released this week

Ghost Stories was a good watch. Paranormal debunker is given 3 cases which are deemed unexplainable. Its not really scary or jumpy and you can see the ending coming a mile off, but it's a good watch all the same and it has quite a few funny moments too 3/5

A quiet place. Co-written, directed and starred in by Jim Halpert, sorry John Krasinski (Obviously the guy has talent), a quiet place does a very good job at building tension throughout. Again I wouldn't say it's all that scary but i did find myself fully immersed and genuinely nervous for the characters, wonderfully acted. Word of warning though, as the movie is largely quiet for large parts (score aside), get ready to be annoyed by every rustle of a popcorn bag or opening of every sweet by others in the theatre with you. 4/5

Recommend both

Went to see Ready Player One at the weekend. It wasn't too bad. Set in the year 2047, it's basically showing a future where most people in the real world are poor but theres this amazing virtual world called the oasis where they can do anything and design their own avatar.

To cut a long story short, the genius who created the world died but left 3 hidden keys which would grant the winner control of the world.

I'll give it an 8/10. It dragged on a bit but is a unique type of film and by 2047 there will be amazing virtual worlds that look very life like, where people can hang out. So in that sense it was an accurate view of the future.

Watched Avenger Infinity War

Tino memorial rating : 9.52464- quality viewing

GSoE: 9/10 - Didn't do much wrong, fantastic telling of the comic story

HH scale of accurate titling: 7/10 - Had the Avengers fighting a war but didn't go on for an infinite amount of time.

Michaels Scale of t*ts OR war: 5/10 - Loads of war, no tatties.
Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 2/10 - At the Imax so f***ing expensive
TSRRN-Q: "Why is Gamora!"

What I learned - Thanos kind of has a point to be honest...

Overall 9/10 really looking forward to the next instalment

Superb review, more than makes up for your absence.

Not sure on the policy of double-reviews, but f*ck it....

Avengers - Infinity War

Tino memorial rating : 9.52465- some prime visual sexyness for the eyes!

GSoE: 9/10 - Not sure if this was true to the comics, but im an adult and only read jazz-mags, but it was certainly a great watch.

HH scale of accurate titling: 10/10 - Costumed Avengers fighting in a war, which.  if the time stone is used correctly, could be infinite? or could be finite?

Michael's Scale of Tits & War - No tits that i could see, but war was here in abundance! Plentiful amounts of war...surplus war!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - work benefits offered a large discount for tickets, which was then spunked on Maltesers and a Tango Ice Blast!

TSRRN-Q: Drax - "Why is Gamora!" - arguably the funniest moment, apart from Bruce Banners struggles!

Superb review, Scott. It's like a high-jump competition, just when you think that Dagless has the gold you pull a review out of nothing and raise the bar ever so slightly.
What does Dagless do now? Does he go for a triple-review or risk a new one?

Rick is going to have the up his use of filthy words if he's going to beat Scott's review.

C**ts

rick_dagless wrote:C**ts

Its a strong start....

Right - im coming to some of the lesser known Marvel films a little late....after watching Avengers: Infinity War, i thought i better catch up on Benedict Cumber-strange

Dr Strange

Tino memorial rating : 8.2458426 - not as fun as some previous Marvel movies, bit dark/moody,enjoyable, but not as bright and sparkly as Avengers, find it hard to look Benedict CucumberPatch in the face due to the massive gap between the eyes, looks like Sid the Sloth, from Ice Age fame! Also found Gail Porter a strange choice for the main-female-tutor-lead.

GSoE: 8/10 - Visually, it was a good watch, lots of crash, bang, Wallops (what a video!),

HH scale of accurate titling: 10/10 - Dr Strange - he is a Dr, and his surname is Strange....he is also Strange. Pretty bang on!

Michaels Scale of Tits & War - 2/10 - No tits - occasional Benedict Cumbernipples on show, but no breasticles!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 4/10 - Sky Cinema - a slave to the multinational conglomerate, See you in hell Murdoch!

TSRRN-Q: "Mr Strange!" - "No its Dr" - "Ok....Mr Dr..." (funnier than it reads, so f*ck you!)

Some superb wordplay there, and an excellent quote. However will Dagless counter that?

Just realised that all of Scott's reviews to date will have to be rendered null and void.  He seems to have replaced the Michaels Scale of t*ts OR war category with something which he calls 'Tits & War'.  

The vulgarity aside, I find the arrogance simply breathtaking.  Galted and I went to great pains to confirm the name of this category in order to give it some meaning and to allow people to review a film in the full knowledge that they can provide all relevant information about guns, knives, tits and fannies etc.

superflyweight wrote:Just realised that all of Scott's reviews to date will have to be rendered null and void.  He seems to have replaced the Michaels Scale of t*ts OR war category with something which he calls 'Tits & War'.  

The vulgarity aside, I find the arrogance simply breathtaking.  Galted and I went to great pains to confirm the name of this category in order to give it some meaning and to allow people to review a film in the full knowledge that they can provide all relevant information about guns, knives, tits and fannies etc.

I have no idea what you mean....

It's tits OR war, Scott. Or.

Not all films have both of these things but every schoolboy knows that any film worth its salt will have one or the other.

superflyweight wrote:It's tits OR war, Scott.  Or.

Not all films have both of these things but every schoolboy knows that any film worth its salt will have one or the other.  

Well i apologise for holding the movie industry to a higher standard, and expecting tits & war...either or, is not enough!

Executive Decision

Tino memorial rating : 7.65802 Was a good watch, action, good guys, bad terrorists and SPOILER ALERT - Steven Seagal dies early on!

GSoE: 7/10 - Enjoyable action on a plane type of film. Plus the good guys won!

HH scale of accurate titling: 7/10 - There was an Executive Decision to be made and it was mentioned once.

Michaels Scale of Tits & War - 7/10 - No tits but a bit of action like suicide bomber blowing up a restuarant and terrorists being killed.

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 7/10 - ITV4

TSRRN-Q: "I hope there's a good movie on this flight"

hornbloweroafc wrote:Executive Decision

Tino memorial rating : 7.65802 Was a good watch, action, good guys, bad terrorists and SPOILER ALERT - Steven Seagal dies early on!

GSoE: 7/10 - Enjoyable action on a plane type of film.  Plus the good guys won!

HH scale of accurate titling: 7/10 - There was an Executive Decision to be made and it was mentioned once.

Michaels Scale of Tits & War - 7/10 - No tits but a bit of action like suicide bomber blowing up a restuarant and terrorists being killed.

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 7/10 - ITV4

TSRRN-Q: "I hope there's a good movie on this flight"

Short, sharp & punchy....i feel like i watched the film myself!! Bravo

For those of you who realise the significance the below is the split.

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superflyweight wrote:



Scott is Back wrote:
"Thor - Ragnarok"

Tino memorial rating : 7.5874 - Not seen any of the previous Thor's, but this one looked all new and shiny, so thought i would give it a whirl.

GSoE: 8.6

HH Scale of Accurate Titling: 8/10 – Thor Ragnarok - Well the main man is ol' Thor, God of Thunder & all that jazz....so thats a good start. Ragnarok as a word features quite heavily, still no overly sure what it was, but it was mentioned a lot.

Michaels scale of tits OR war: Tits - one topless scene where God of Pecs shows off his rippling torso, and the Hulk gets his dimply arse-cheeks out. Not sure if i would class it as a war, but some fisty-cuffs ensued, and there was a winner, so i suppose it could be a war.... who knows, certainly not me!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - The wife was sent to sainsburys for some steak, and returned with the film, so it didnt cost me anything, but the Scott household took a hit of £9.99.

TattieSconesRRN-Q: "Piss off Ghost" - Said in a South African/Australian Accent, i couldnt tell which (is this racist?)
If Barry Norman had done his reviews like this he wouldn't be dead now.
Was he murdered due to his substandard movie reviewing technique?

Avengers Infinity War.
Saw it Monday night.

Thought it was very good. Better than Justice League by a long way.

Good humour in AIW, liked the part when Thor meets GOTG crew.
Not seen either of those yet, so will give them a watch.

Will give it 8/10

westisbest wrote:Avengers Infinity War.
Saw it Monday night.

Thought it was very good. Better than Justice League by a long way.

Good humour in AIW, liked the part when Thor meets GOTG crew.
Not seen either of those yet, so will give them a watch.

Will give it 8/10

Thor Ragnarok & GOTG 1 & 2 are my favourite Marvel films

Scott is Back wrote:

westisbest wrote:Avengers Infinity War.
Saw it Monday night.

Thought it was very good. Better than Justice League by a long way.

Good humour in AIW, liked the part when Thor meets GOTG crew.
Not seen either of those yet, so will give them a watch.

Will give it 8/10

Thor Ragnarok & GOTG 1 & 2 are my favourite Marvel films

I like Thor - Dark World. Not because the film is any good but purely because half the film they spend wrecking my former work place.

Enjoyed the first Thor, not seen the others.

Deadpool 2

Tino memorial rating : 9.9985- Funny, Gory, bit more funny...

GSoE: 9/10 - Plenty for the eyes to see, fighting, shooting, porking, crying, bleeding...

HH scale of accurate titling: 10/10 - The main man is called Deadpool - and its the second film, therefore Deadpool 2 is pretty bang on!

Michael's Scale of Tits or War - Distinct lack of tits, some pecs, and a hint of baby-dick!

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 5/10 - work benefits played its part again, £6.50 per ticket, thats not even a sip of ale in laaaaandan!

TSRRN-Q: Peter - "I just saw the Ad!"

Went to see Solo last night, it's pretty much as I expected. Nothing special but pretty entertaining

My one big issue with it, and it might be an unpopular opinion, but enough with pushing this girl power agenda. It doesn't need to be done in every star wars movie, especially one where it's an origin story of Han Solo

Solo

Tino memorial rating : 7.658 decent enough action flick

GSoE: 7/10 - see above

HH scale of accurate titling: 5/10 - Mainly about a guy called Han Solo but he wasn't on his own so can be misleading

Michael's Scale of Tits or War - 5/10 - 0 amount of Bristols, even from the bird who constantly gets them out in Game of Thrones but some fighting and a bit of claret.

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 7/10 - work benefits played its part, £7.50 per ticket, thats not even a sip of ale in laaaaandan!

TSRRN-Q: Chewie "Wrauuuuughhhhhh"

What they should have learned: A parsec is a f***ing distance, not a measure of time...

gazzyD wrote:Went to see Solo last night, it's pretty much as I expected. Nothing special but pretty entertaining

My one big issue with it, and it might be an unpopular opinion, but enough with pushing this girl power agenda. It doesn't need to be done in every star wars movie, especially one where it's an origin story of Han Solo

Would imagine you should prepare yourself for this becoming more an more prevalent in Hollywood. With the #metoo thing and the ongoing equal pay dispute, expect a huge over-correction to try and solve the issue.

rick_dagless wrote:Solo

Tino memorial rating : 7.658 decent enough action flick

GSoE: 7/10 - see above

HH scale of accurate titling: 5/10 - Mainly about a guy called Han Solo but he wasn't on his own so can be misleading

Michael's Scale of Tits or War - 5/10 - 0 amount of Bristols, even from the bird who constantly gets them out in Game of Thrones but some fighting and a bit of claret.

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 7/10 - work benefits played its part, £7.50 per ticket, thats not even a sip of ale in laaaaandan!

TSRRN-Q: Chewie  "Wrauuuuughhhhhh"

What they should have learned: A parsec is a f***ing distance, not a measure of time...

Think they are pretty much stuck with that mistake now regardless of whether they know better. Part of the Star Wars story now! (And tbf I only even knew that was a mistake because Family guy done the star wars Parody!)

lfc91 wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Solo

Tino memorial rating : 7.658 decent enough action flick

GSoE: 7/10 - see above

HH scale of accurate titling: 5/10 - Mainly about a guy called Han Solo but he wasn't on his own so can be misleading

Michael's Scale of Tits or War - 5/10 - 0 amount of Bristols, even from the bird who constantly gets them out in Game of Thrones but some fighting and a bit of claret.

Rowley Scale of Northern Thriftiness: 7/10 - work benefits played its part, £7.50 per ticket, thats not even a sip of ale in laaaaandan!

TSRRN-Q: Chewie  "Wrauuuuughhhhhh"

What they should have learned: A parsec is a f***ing distance, not a measure of time...

Think they are pretty much stuck with that mistake now regardless of whether they know better. Part of the Star Wars story now! (And tbf I only even knew that was a mistake because Family guy done the star wars Parody!)

I thought Chewie may have corrected him, and then ran it as a standing joke...

Which would have been a fantastic way to deal with that! Missed opportunity..

But isn't time just a measurement of distance?

Nope, time is a relative concept, distance is a pre-determined absolute.

Every day on here is a school day.

That's what can happen with properly structured film reviews, supes.

So what's an elf then?

How come he knows so much about time n' that?

Went to see The Book Club yesterday. I was only one of two males among dozens of females so that tells you it might appeal more to women. However it was very funny and provided a lot of laughs. The storyline wasn't anything dramatic but if you want to go see a light hearted, enjoyable film, this is a good one.


The other day rewatched The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert. I hadn't see it for a while and its one of my all time fav films. 3 drag queens buy a bus and head from their hometown Sydney to Alice Springs which is in the middle of Australia. There are lots of laughs and interesting characters along the way and they're a good contrast to the rough Aussies they come across on their travels. I particularly like how they handle any hostility. Instead of crying and getting upset they'd usually deal with it by firing back some comments of their own. Heres one of the funniest film clips you'll see.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yLiGbJLWi8

Hereditary, wow......this was so so so so bad

Not scary in the slightest, far too slow, garbage plot

How come the TV (childish acting, garish/lifeless/elementary college grad cinematography, brain dead scripts and comic book drama) is in the cinema these days and the 'cinema' (alleged fine drama, fine cinematography, wonderful scripts and fine acting) is on TV/mobile phone?

Oh for the days when I'd steal out of college to go watch Ran, or Betty Blue or Bagdad Café or Platoon etc and there'd only be me and one or two others that they were playing for.  Now that's Cinema!  Bad business but infinitely better than watching a 5X2 inch phone screen in your bedroom.

Time for the newest New Age kids (probably 13 or 14 right now) to rebel and become the forerunners of a new age.  Hammer their i-phones into pulp and demand that their ART goes back on the big screen where it belongs.

gazzyD wrote:Hereditary, wow......this was so so so so bad

Not scary in the slightest,  far too slow, garbage plot

I had a row with my family over this film, after seeing the reviews I decided to take my Dad to see it for Father's Day.

Turns out I was the only one who enjoyed it. They agreed with you, whereas I really enjoyed the slow build up and the lack of jump-scares. I thought towards the end it was a bit much myself, and the comparisons with the Exorcist have not helped it.

SecretFly wrote:How come the TV (childish acting, garish/lifeless/elementary college grad cinematography, brain dead scripts and comic book drama) is in the cinema these days and the 'cinema' (alleged fine drama, fine cinematography, wonderful scripts and fine acting) is on TV/mobile phone?

Oh for the days when I'd steal out of college to go watch Ran, or Betty Blue or Bagdad Café or Platoon etc and there'd only be me and one or two others that they were playing for.  Now that's Cinema!  Bad business but infinitely better than watching a 5X2 inch phone screen in your bedroom.

Time for the newest New Age kids (probably 13 or 14 right now) to rebel and become the forerunners of a new age.  Hammer their i-phones into pulp and demand that their ART goes back on the big screen where it belongs.

Bladerunner 2049

Went to see it twice, both times the theatre was mostly empty, and the film was brilliant, and I know it will be nothing like as good on a small screen. They don't come along very often but there are some out there.

I went to watch The Meg last week. It's a typical Statham film, but this time based around a massive prehistoric shark. There's a few nods to the Jaws franchise and some downright silliness too.

The good thing is the film doesn't take itself very seriously and there's a relatively good cast. The effects are actually not bad either. Don't watach it expecting a really good film like the original Jaws. You won't get it. But as a "popcorn-muncher" I think it's well worth it simply because it's so silly. 6/10

Funny that Bladerunner is mentioned above.  The original is certainly down there as a glorious tour-de-force of sound, image and story.
BUT............Mr Ridley.................. *sigh*   Just like Spielberg........... you ask yourself, where did it all go wrong?

I say this 'cause the movie I watched most recently is The Martian (last night on TV).  My first real movie watching night off in virtually two solid years.  I lay on the couch and said I'd take the night off.  The Martian.  I think I tried to watch it once or twice before but had forgotten why I'd never gotten through the whole thing.
I'm writing this down now to remind myself this time.

Ridley Scott.  Where has the emotion gone and the real humanity gone?  Flushed.  Most of his movies now are populated by cyborgs and not just the cyborgs.  Soulless, non-empathetic creatures going around issuing monotone words, the heartbeat drained from them through lethargy.

Matt Damon wakes up after having endured a Martian storm the night before.  He does maybe five minutes of fine acting as he tries to repair his body that had a shard of metal in it.  Good stuff.  Believable stress on his face and all.
Then it all goes downhill as he coldly talks to screen about knowing the very reasons why his crew left him.  "They probably thought this and probably said that and probably did the other"  And he was spot on...must have read the script..... He was wasting his time though and from then on his lifeless, functional robotic gung ho "Let's do this!" claptrap lost my attention and I fell asleep.  I will try to get through the whole thing one day but I don't fall asleep rewatching Bladerunner..... or Jaws, Steven

SecretFly wrote:Funny that Bladerunner is mentioned above.  The original is certainly down there as a glorious tour-de-force of sound, image and story.
BUT............Mr Ridley.................. *sigh*   Just like Spielberg........... you ask yourself, where did it all go wrong?

I say this 'cause the movie I watched most recently is The Martian (last night on TV).  My first real movie watching night off in virtually two solid years.  I lay on the couch and said I'd take the night off.  The Martian.  I think I tried to watch it once or twice before but had forgotten why I'd never gotten through the whole thing.
I'm writing this down now to remind myself this time.

Ridley Scott.  Where has the emotion gone and the real humanity gone?  Flushed.  Most of his movies now are populated by cyborgs and not just the cyborgs.  Soulless, non-empathetic creatures going around issuing monotone words, the heartbeat drained from them through lethargy.

Matt Damon wakes up after having endured a Martian storm the night before.  He does maybe five minutes of fine acting as he tries to repair his body that had a shard of metal in it.  Good stuff.  Believable stress on his face and all.
Then it all goes downhill as he coldly talks to screen about knowing the very reasons why his crew left him.  "They probably thought this and probably said that and probably did the other"  And he was spot on...must have read the script..... He was wasting his time though and from then on his lifeless, functional robotic gung ho "Let's do this!" claptrap lost my attention and I fell asleep.  I will try to get through the whole thing one day but I don't fall asleep rewatching Bladerunner..... or Jaws, Steven

Personally I think Matt Damon is a terrible actor. The only two really decent roles that come to mind for him is the Talented Mr. Ripley, and the Bourne films, in both of which he is actually supposed to be faceless, and his wooden style is an advantage.