Flintoffs debut.

First topic message reminder :

Happens tonight and live on Boxnation, despite Frank saying what a disgrace it is.

Credit where credit is due, Flintoff has dedicated himself to this, worked hard in the gym and changed his body completley. The guy he's fighting is like one of those sports movies, shot four times in a drug run that went wrong and in which he saw his best friend killed.

Personally hope he does well but most of all doesn't get serioulsy hurt, and watching the show on Sky1 he isn't as bad as people first believed he would be, throw in the big right hand he has and he has the attributes to do well tonight.

Well said, Superfly. Add to that the fact that it is excruciatingly boring and there are two good reasons to button it.

trying to work out union's gag has cost me the lunch time slot in trap 1 on the ground floor. i now have the dilemma of either weathering the storm at my desk or commiting the ultimate office crime and using the bogs on my own floor.

Got to be the bogs on your own floor, Sean. Demolition job, then wait until the coast is clear before emerging...

Don't think I can do it. They're used too frequently and everyone can see you walking in.

Going to have to be a 'ground floor special' then. Bake it for a bit...

http://incontinencehelp.dryforlife.co.uk/tag/fecal-incontinence/

not needed. i have a good seat position and will use the lift. feeling confident about this one.

Careful not to come back with a sheet of paper tucked in the back of your trousers.

Seen it done.

But what if people see you walking in on the ground floor? Or your boss has the same idea and follows you in to the bogs and sits in the cubicle next to you? Can't be heard to be doing nothing otherwise he'll think you're knocking one off

Union Cane wrote:Careful not to come back with a sheet of paper tucked in the back of your trousers.

Seen it done.

Hoping it'll be relatively clean cut off.

But what if people see you walking in on the ground floor? Or your boss has the same idea and follows you in to the bogs and sits in the cubicle next to you? Can't be heard to be doing nothing otherwise he'll think you're knocking one off

1st floor is canteen, gym and reception. Fairly tranquil

superflyweight wrote:Coxy - its a fairly simple premise - just don't talk about that thing that you've been asked not to talk about. Christ almighty it's not complicated and the great apes of Uganda could probably grasp the concept if explained in the manner that it has been.

Bit racist....

seanmichaels wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Careful not to come back with a sheet of paper tucked in the back of your trousers.

Seen it done.

Hoping it'll be relatively clean cut off.

But what if people see you walking in on the ground floor? Or your boss has the same idea and follows you in to the bogs and sits in the cubicle next to you? Can't be heard to be doing nothing otherwise he'll think you're knocking one off

1st floor is canteen, gym and reception. Fairly tranquil

Let us know how you get on, hopefully they won't flush you out.

He's talking about the great apes you see on a ugandan safari mate. But hes scottish so he's still a racist.

[quote="two_tone"]

seanmichaels wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Careful not to come back with a sheet of paper tucked in the back of your trousers.

Seen it done.

Let us know how you get on, hopefully they won't flush you out.

Back of the net.

But hes scottish so he's still a racist..

Some of my best friends are apes!

What has all this toilet and poopie talk got to do with flintoff's debut? oh yeh, silly me.

Sean if you're having real trouble try going to a quiet utility room or store cupboard and crapping into a newspaper, then roll it up and fling it out of the nearest window. It's what's known as a 'flying pastie' in prison, but is acceptable in the office place in an emergency.

milkyboy wrote:What has all this toilet and poopie talk got to do with flintoff's debut? oh yeh, silly me.

It's Friday Milky, never does to expect too much from the place on suc occasions. Fear not though the next thrilling installment of uncrowned champions will be appearing this evening that tends to focus the board on discussing boxing

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Sean if you're having real trouble try going to a quiet utility room or store cupboard and crapping into a newspaper, then roll it up and fling it out of the nearest window. It's what's known as a 'flying pastie' in prison, but is acceptable in the office place in an emergency.

and i thought you was a good poster SBS - what happened to the old fashioned, walk in, do your buisness and walk out going 'ew who the hell has been in there last, dirty bar stewards!'

Rotherham Joe Gans wrote:

milkyboy wrote:What has all this toilet and poopie talk got to do with flintoff's debut? oh yeh, silly me.

uncrowned champions will be appearing this evening

isnt that still toilet talk?

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Sean if you're having real trouble try going to a quiet utility room or store cupboard and crapping into a newspaper, then roll it up and fling it out of the nearest window. It's what's known as a 'flying pastie' in prison, but is acceptable in the office place in an emergency.

Man, what's the deal with all the nervous pooh-ers on here?! Just sh*t n get on with it!

no-mas wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Sean if you're having real trouble try going to a quiet utility room or store cupboard and crapping into a newspaper, then roll it up and fling it out of the nearest window. It's what's known as a 'flying pastie' in prison, but is acceptable in the office place in an emergency.

and i thought you was a good poster SBS - what happened to the old fashioned, walk in, do your buisness and walk out going 'ew who the hell has been in there last, dirty bar stewards!'

If its a men's only toilet then I let 'em have it with both barrels. But up til recently I was renting office space with shared toilet facilities (on my floor at least) so I had to use a bit of stealth to prevent any of the tasty crumpet from the letting agent across the hall being incapacitated by the malingering stench of last nights onion bhajis.

I let 'em have it with both barrels.

An unfortunate physical ailment?

superflyweight wrote:

But hes scottish so he's still a racist..

Some of my best friends are apes!

Thats explain alot - monkey see and monkey do

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:

no-mas wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Sean if you're having real trouble try going to a quiet utility room or store cupboard and crapping into a newspaper, then roll it up and fling it out of the nearest window. It's what's known as a 'flying pastie' in prison, but is acceptable in the office place in an emergency.

and i thought you was a good poster SBS - what happened to the old fashioned, walk in, do your buisness and walk out going 'ew who the hell has been in there last, dirty bar stewards!'

If its a men's only toilet then I let 'em have it with both barrels. But up til recently I was renting office space with shared toilet facilities (on my floor at least) so I had to use a bit of stealth to prevent any of the tasty crumpet from the letting agent across the hall being incapacitated by the malingering stench of last nights onion bhajis.

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN FAMILY GUY! Where Peter tells Meg, the sexiest thing a woman can do is love a mans gas, love the gas meg, LOVE IT!

Keeping this on topic btw im neither for or against Flintoff fighting, i dont think it should be at the Manchester arena when there are other boxers lingering on small hall shows trying to catch a break, and avoid being hit by a flying pastie from an office accross the way

ShahenshahG wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

But hes scottish so he's still a racist..

Some of my best friends are apes!

Thats explain alot - monkey see and monkey do

Great now im getting funny looks for laughing out loud hahaha

Keeping this off topic and in the toilet, I know someone who has a torrid record with what has become known as 'last minute dump syndrome'.

A pal of mine who I lived in student digs with was expecting a girl round to our place that he'd been chasing for ages. Just before she was due he took a last minute dump in the (inexplicably tiny) downstairs bog and blocked it with an unflushable turd. Knowing the girl was imminent his solution was to get the kitchen scissors and cut the bloody thing in half to flush it. Afterwards he just ran them under the cold tap for a few seconds and put them back in the cutlery draw!

The same guy a few years later working in accountancy was about to go into a big meeting when again he decided he needed a last minute dump. This time when wiping his backside he managed to smear excrement all the way up the sleeve of his shirt! Not only was it a red hot day, but he suffers from an excessive sweating condition called hyperhydrosis (has Botox for it), so he had to keep his suit jacket on the whole meeting with the fetid smell of his pooey sleeve kicking up and him sweating buckets because he was so hot.

Same guy once missed a flight to Rome by taking an unexpectedly tricky last minute dump in the departure lounge.

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Keeping this off topic and in the toilet, I know someone who has a torrid record with what has become known as 'last minute dump syndrome'.

A pal of mine who I lived in student digs with was expecting a girl round to our place that he'd been chasing for ages. Just before she was due he took a last minute dump in the (inexplicably tiny) downstairs bog and blocked it with an unflushable turd. Knowing the girl was imminent his solution was to get the kitchen scissors and cut the bloody thing in half to flush it. Afterwards he just ran them under the cold tap for a few seconds and put them back in the cutlery draw!

The same guy a few years later working in accountancy was about to go into a big meeting when again he decided he needed a last minute dump. This time when wiping his backside he managed to smear excrement all the way up the sleeve of his shirt! Not only was it a red hot day, but he suffers from an excessive sweating condition called hyperhydrosis (has Botox for it), so he had to keep his suit jacket on the whole meeting with the fetid smell of his pooey sleeve kicking up and him sweating buckets because he was so hot.

Same guy once missed a flight to Rome by taking an unexpectedly tricky last minute dump in the departure lounge.

Imodium might make apt secret santa gift this year.

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Keeping this off topic and in the toilet, I know someone who has a torrid record with what has become known as 'last minute dump syndrome'.

A pal of mine who I lived in student digs with was expecting a girl round to our place that he'd been chasing for ages. Just before she was due he took a last minute dump in the (inexplicably tiny) downstairs bog and blocked it with an unflushable turd. Knowing the girl was imminent his solution was to get the kitchen scissors and cut the bloody thing in half to flush it. Afterwards he just ran them under the cold tap for a few seconds and put them back in the cutlery draw!

The same guy a few years later working in accountancy was about to go into a big meeting when again he decided he needed a last minute dump. This time when wiping his backside he managed to smear excrement all the way up the sleeve of his shirt! Not only was it a red hot day, but he suffers from an excessive sweating condition called hyperhydrosis (has Botox for it), so he had to keep his suit jacket on the whole meeting with the fetid smell of his pooey sleeve kicking up and him sweating buckets because he was so hot.

Same guy once missed a flight to Rome by taking an unexpectedly tricky last minute dump in the departure lounge.

i think your talking Poopie

Same guy once missed a flight to Rome by taking an unexpectedly tricky last minute dump in the departure lounge.

Not surprising you miss a flight due to being arrested for releasing your bowels infront of a few thousand passengers.

Sean's been gone a while, hope he hasn't fallen in...

Union Cane wrote:Sean's been gone a while, hope he hasn't fallen in...

Probably one of those guys who can't let it flow when others are in the toilets. Probaly sat there with tears running down his face as he desperately tries to hold it in.

Either that or he's shat himself in to an unconscious state

coxy0001 wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Sean's been gone a while, hope he hasn't fallen in...

Probably one of those guys who can't let it flow when others are in the toilets. Probaly sat there with tears running down his face as he desperately tries to hold it in.

Either that or he's shat himself in to an unconscious state

Hes probably fired it out and its rebounded off the bowl and nailed the door shut

coxy0001 wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Sean's been gone a while, hope he hasn't fallen in...

Probably one of those guys who can't let it flow when others are in the toilets. Probaly sat there with tears running down his face as he desperately tries to hold it in.

Either that or he's shat himself in to an unconscious state

Thats more like it Union! Non of this word of the day mod crap

He might be doing that thing where you can sense that it is not quite as solid as you would like so you try to pinch it a bit to let it run out slowly, but you let go a little too much and it all comes out at once like an unstoppable tidal wave, coating the pan in the process, with the accompanying sound of a kind of cross between a round of applause and lots of people spitting.

His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

no-mas wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:Keeping this off topic and in the toilet, I know someone who has a torrid record with what has become known as 'last minute dump syndrome'.

A pal of mine who I lived in student digs with was expecting a girl round to our place that he'd been chasing for ages. Just before she was due he took a last minute dump in the (inexplicably tiny) downstairs bog and blocked it with an unflushable turd. Knowing the girl was imminent his solution was to get the kitchen scissors and cut the bloody thing in half to flush it. Afterwards he just ran them under the cold tap for a few seconds and put them back in the cutlery draw!

The same guy a few years later working in accountancy was about to go into a big meeting when again he decided he needed a last minute dump. This time when wiping his backside he managed to smear excrement all the way up the sleeve of his shirt! Not only was it a red hot day, but he suffers from an excessive sweating condition called hyperhydrosis (has Botox for it), so he had to keep his suit jacket on the whole meeting with the fetid smell of his pooey sleeve kicking up and him sweating buckets because he was so hot.

Same guy once missed a flight to Rome by taking an unexpectedly tricky last minute dump in the departure lounge.

i think your talking Poopie

Ba boom. Sadly I don't see him anymore but he was one of those guys that was good value as he just lurched from one ridiculous situation to the next (and not always bowel related!).

ShahenshahG wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

He's probably had an aneurysm, apparently the most common time for them to occur is on the toilet as the straining causes the weak spot in the brain to blow. If we don't hear from him again we'll assume he's done an Elvis.

Union Cane wrote:He might be doing that thing where you can sense that it is not quite as solid as you would like so you try to pinch it a bit to let it run out slowly, but you let go a little too much and it all comes out at once like an unstoppable tidal wave, coating the pan in the process, with the accompanying sound of a kind of cross between a round of applause and lots of people spitting.

Or the thing where you've got a big one, but you clench to soon and cut it in half making one half retract back up you arris (an amatuerish mistake), then you end up using endless bog paper polishing the end of it when wiping your bum.

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

He's probably had an aneurysm, apparently the most common time for them to occur is on the toilet as the straining causes the weak spot in the brain to blow. If we don't hear from him again we'll assume he's done an Elvis.

He might have been overcome with love for Shawn Michaels and attempted to do his Signature move "sweet chin music" and harpooned a whale. Now he's on the run from wwf ironically.

i think this is a definate for thread of the year

ShahenshahG wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

He's probably had an aneurysm, apparently the most common time for them to occur is on the toilet as the straining causes the weak spot in the brain to blow. If we don't hear from him again we'll assume he's done an Elvis.

He might have been overcome with love for Shawn Michaels

So are you suggesting he has jumped from nerveous pooper to a 'Danger wink' kind of guy?

ShahenshahG wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

He's probably had an aneurysm, apparently the most common time for them to occur is on the toilet as the straining causes the weak spot in the brain to blow. If we don't hear from him again we'll assume he's done an Elvis.

He might have been overcome with love for Shawn Michaels and attempted to do his Signature move "sweet chin music" and harpooned a whale. Now he's on the run from wwf ironically.

He is now known as the 'Heartbreak Skid'.

no-mas wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

He's probably had an aneurysm, apparently the most common time for them to occur is on the toilet as the straining causes the weak spot in the brain to blow. If we don't hear from him again we'll assume he's done an Elvis.

He might have been overcome with love for Shawn Michaels

So are you suggesting he has jumped from nerveous pooper to a 'Danger wink' kind of guy?

Not quite for then the sh*t would really hit the fan

two_tone wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Sugar Boy Sweetie wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

He's probably had an aneurysm, apparently the most common time for them to occur is on the toilet as the straining causes the weak spot in the brain to blow. If we don't hear from him again we'll assume he's done an Elvis.

He might have been overcome with love for Shawn Michaels and attempted to do his Signature move "sweet chin music" and harpooned a whale. Now he's on the run from wwf ironically.

He is now known as the 'Heartbreak Skid'.

Curiously Shawn michaels real surname is Hickenbottom.


I think thats goodnight for the thread - no one can top that

He's still not back? Christ alive, it must be one of those where you wish you'd lubed your hole up to get it out

Right, have give this thread enough leeway but it needs to find its way back to boxing pretty soon or it is getting locked.

Perhaps he needs a good body punch to help him squeeze it out?

Above was a boxing related post...

Too far gone for that mate lock it and preserve it so coxys children with marilyn monroe can read it in the future.