The return of ... The Ultimate Worrier!

First topic message reminder :

Way back when it was a simpler time, when we were all innocent and wide eyed to the world a thread was created born of legend.

The Ultimate Worrier

Some say it was created by a genius, some say a mad man, some say a power crazed idiot and blame him for all the wrongs in the world even more than the Miz or those evil Australian DJs. But whoever that person was they gave us something so wonderful that its only fit and proper that it gets another showing.
So ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages I request to you that you put your thinking caps on and bring forth your puns as we journey together in...

The Ultimate Worrier Part Deux



Here's just a snippet of some of the beauties from the original:

Stain Cold Steve Austin. Wrestler who cleans his clothes using the lowest setting on a washing machine.

Stung. Wrestler that’s allergic to bees and nettles.

The Royal British Legion of Doom - Hawk and Animal wear spiked shoulder pads covered in poppies and carrying buckets for any spare change

Degeneration PG - Keeping in line with the rating for all WWE programming, HHH and HBK show kids how to make papier mache sledgehammers.

The Wonky Clock Man - door to door salesman of cheap carriage clocks.

Tommy Daydreamer - Constantly loses matches due to his inability to pay attention

Stoned Fold Steve Autistic - Stoner who is always completely out of it but can instantly answer any answers involving sums or dates

The Great Carly - a woman called carly who thinks she's great.

Paul Aroma - He smells nice

Pledge - The Rated R Superstar who gets all of your surfaces spotlessly clean

Kofi Kingston-upon-thames - A Posh Jamacian Wrestler who enjoys a spot of sailing.

Penultimate Warrior - The last but one Warrior

Chris Cherrycola - Goes by the nickname Y2J2O

The Sandbag - Enters the ring to Metallica and can also be used in the event of flooding

The British Hart Foundation - As well as being a legendary tag team they fight heart and circulatory disease

Kez - X Division champ who has a pet Kestrel

Tatonka - Manufacturer of toy trucks

Justin Plausible - Wrestler who breaks apart the shoddy storylines put together by the creative team due to continuity errors and lack of belivability.

Peter Andre the Giant - After divorcing Jordan, Peter bulks up on roids and takes out his frustrations in the squared circle.

Sean O'Where - Wrestler who accidently swallowed a Sat Nav and now provides other wrestlers with directions

Phone Old Steve Austin - a disgruntled ex Carphone Warehouse employee who hasnt updated his handset since leaving 3 years ago

Big Van Evader - A mentally challenged man who finds time to hang around the A14 Northbound, ducking in and out of all sorts of vehicles, but especially long wheel base vans...

Pesticide – Hernadez’s old LAX partner returns with a insect repellent

David Orangatunga – He’s the king of the swingers, the jungle VIP

Kassius Ohno he didn't - it's Pantomime time in the WWE as this cheeky stalwart antagonises the crowd

Drew McIntired - fed up with waiting for his push he goes for a lie down.

Val Screen-Us - ex Porn star who is more interested in making sure the Diva's don't have Breast Cancer

Brodus nativity Play - appearing at every junior school this festive season.

Brodus Play D'oh - Brodus turns into Morph

"The Vapor Rub" Randy Orton - sick of being an apex preditor, Randy takes up his new passion of being a chemist

Lieback - after being Fed more this big superstar can't do anything but have a rest

Bret Hart excellence of elocution - best pipe bomb artist in WWE history

Rowdy Roddy Typer - meanist script writer in creative

Hulk Logan - "Wolverine I am your father!"

Christopher Daniels 'fallen angel delight' - finishing move BSE (best souffle ever!)

Kenny Bling - he's ice cold cool

Hero wrote:Brodus Play D'oh - Brodus turns into Morph

..and tags with Michael McSillyPutty.

Randy Roddy Piper - A horny old Scot who wants you to blow on his bagpipe

Woy Mysterio - England manager turned Luchador

Michael Dole - The commentator only turns up every two weeks to tell JR what jobs he's applied for

Bake the Cake Robot - WWE's very own mechanical dessert maker

William Smeagol - Schizo wrestler obsessed with the ring

The PoorLord - a walking contradiction.

John McCool - The senator gets cool and sexy in the divas division

Paul Hymen - A bit of a Cat

Koko T Blair - Tony Blair cannot go anywhere with a parrot

Bubba Ray Pudsey - Children in Need of tables

Strict Flair - after years of being the Man and showing those young upstarts how to party Strict Ric doesn't allow anyone out the hotel or into the Hotel bar after 9pm

Magnus Magnum T.A - not only will this guy brutalise you in the ring but he'll also give you 60 seconds on your specialist subject

Chocolate coated Randy Thornton - this Viper will use his sugery treats to distract you while he sets you up for an RKO

Mr Wonderful Paul Okenfold - this dance master will dazzle you with dance moves before wrestling rings around you

Superfly Jimmy Pukka Pies - when this legend isn't flying off the top of steel cages he's advertising his business in every Premiership Football ground in England

The Monkey Bonk Ban - this Shake rattle and Rolling Paragone of Virtue comes to the WWE to rid the world of Beastility

Breaking Bad News Allen- washed up 80's grappler turns to peddling meth to secure his families future

Bill Kopparberg- Not only is this wrestler undefeated but comes to the ring with a glass and ice

Balls Maloney- loves hardcore wrestling but not half as much as his nan

The Thundertaker.

A Hulk Hogan type character who doesn't like to be out of the limelight and steals peoples thunder when they are successful.

Boutros Boutros Khali- the seven foot giant takes an interest in Egyptian politics

Xerox Ion - every match is a carbon copy of the last one

Gurnner - distracts his opponents by pulling faces

Mr Prefect - Claims to be the best ever, but keeps getting held back in 6th Grade

Big Van Invader - "WHAT TIME IS IT, ITS INVADER TIME, now lets see if you have any illegal immigrants or contraband in your vehicle"

The Curious Case of Shelton Benjamin Button- the story of an athletically gifted wrestler that ages backwards

As you can see, im not very busy at work....


The British Bullsh*t - Anglo-Propaganda Monger/Wrestler

Lou Albino - Pasty Skinned, White Haired Grappler

Batista-stuta - Animal by Day, Long Haired Argentinian Footballer by Night

Belt-on Benjamin - Calamity Gold Standard, whos trousers wont stay up

Steve Black-Man - Equal Rights!

Cee-Lo Green - The Alter Ego on D-Lo Brown

Chuck Columbo - Permed-Hair Detective

You, Me & Rene Dupree - Schizophrenic Gimmick

El Matador - Tito Santana meets YouTube Yorkshire Sensation! (Google it people!)

Mike Tyson's Kid - A gripping parental battle ensues between The Hart's & The Tysons.

Sgt Laughter - You will laugh at my jokes MAGGOT!

Damien Sander - The intellectual saviour decides he wants to be a carpenters apprentice

Randy Ortonobetter - A frisky lad who goes too far in a mixed tag match

John Laryngitis - Raw GM with a really sore throat

Bogus Clay - Funkasaurus imposter

Scotty 2 Snotty - tag team wrestler with a really bad cold

Huey Lewis and the Bad News Brown - 80's rockers join forces with Bad News

The Underpantaker - The grim reaper steals fellow superstars and divas undies.

Dean Ambrosia - Shield member reveals his love for the custard maker

Alberto Del Monte - Mexican aristocrat buys the tinned fruit company, and sells their wares out of the back of his luxury vehicles.

AJ Pee - Crazy chick takes her gimmick too far by urinating during a match

RyBeck: He's a loser baby, so why don't you kill him?

John Senile: Age catches up with Jumpin' John, resulting in the loss of his mental faculties.

Rysack - Skip Sheffield is repackaged again as a one giant testicle.

CM Pink - After the sneak preview of his pink trunks a few months ago, he goes all out with the new gimmick. His entrance theme becomes "Get The Party Started", his new finisher is the Pink Face (while the opponent is down in the corner he rouges up their cheeks for them!).

His gimmick is completed when he turns on Heyman and declares "I ain't a Heyman guy, I'm a strong independant CM Pink that no man can tie down".

Jimmy Yank Wang - Oriental Wrestler offers sexual favours to his opponents....look out for his big finisher!

Hero wrote:Rysack - Skip Sheffield is repackaged again as a one giant testicle.

Could be a new tag team with Test-e

Batista-stuta is my favourite so far!

The Great I Khali

Khali reinvents himself with a Disney Kids tv show full of hijinks aimed at a teenage girl audience.

Kurt Bojangles: Feeling he's going nowhere in TNA, the Olympic Gold medallist takes up tap dancing instead, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "I'll make you tap!"

Randy Orko: 'The Apex Predator' is repackaged as He-Man's hilarious sidekick.

Triple Itch: Hunter discovers that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bed Melina after all.

David Batty-sta: The former Leeds & Blackburn midfielder channels the spirit of 'The Animal' to teach Graeme Le Saux that basketballs don't hold grudges and weapons are not only welcomed...... THEY'RE ALLOWED!

Randy Horton Hears a Who - Randall goes all Dr Seuss for Green Eggs and Ham.

Jack Shagger – All American American who likes to put it about a bit

Hunnyco – Mexican highflyer with a sweet tooth

Bully Ray Cyrus – former Dudley Boy repackaged shortly after Brooke Hogan breaks his heart, his achy breaky heart

Lord Tensay-what-you-see – A-Train returns to WWE with an addiction to Catchphrase

Ray Mysterious - 300lbs English Magician who fancies himself as the WWE's new high flyer

Optimus Primo - Colon in disguise

Princess Albert - a Transgender muscley meathead who wants to unify the WWE Title and the Divas Title

Drew Immac-intyre - The Hairless One

Bully Ray The Otter - One half of the Dudley's decides to take on a mafia gimmick where he mistreats playful aquatic mammals.

Wade Barrett's - he may never win that elusive World Title but he'll always be king of the footwear

Unleaded - The cheaper, less efficient equivalent to Diesel....offering you £1.32 per litre of value!

Epileptico - Primo's partner can't make the tag because he's having a seizure.