Friday Fun - we are all doomed!

Good morning 606v2 - I have some bad news.

Apparently it has been reported amongst some religious groups, that their calenders are showing that this weekend is actually going to be the end of the world for us all.

The news has spread like wildfire and it has led to Twitter going mental with news and views on the oncoming end of times. In fact, the most trended (ie biggest discussion) on Twitter is the Zombie Apocalypse that is upon us.

So whilst I am the bearer of bad news, I thought it would be fun (yes FUN people) that we have a discussion on what your plans will be for your last day before the dead begin to stalk us all.

Also let us know what your plans are to survive the hordes of undead in the morning.

As I said people, its Friday - so lets keep it fun! Ritz cracker for the best last day and survival plan*


(*Prize is metaphoric - no cracker prize will be given)

I shall go in hunt of a shop selling Ritz crackers, and will attempt to avoid the zombies roaming its aisles in order to secure a pack, seeing as you've dangled the prospect before us only to snatch it away in the small print!

I'm hoping that the ' Ritz cracker,' whether metaphoric or not, is a shapely chambermaid. Can you confirm, or are you going to dash my fantasy ?

I'll welcome the Zombies into my house and attempt to befriend them all before going medieval on their asses!

See I read somewhere that The End of the World is actually in 2012.

Good, cause at least by then we'd have had the world cup.

Think I may have some cheese....

Cari wrote:See I read somewhere that The End of the World is actually in 2012.

Good, cause at least by then we'd have had the world cup.

Dont believe everything you see in John Cusack films!

When Zombies cry out for "BRAIIIINNNNNSSSS" do you think they would settle for a pint of Brains SA?

Easy - I will find the Random Box - Get a Thunder Gun and blow there asses all over town!

Scott is Back wrote:Easy - I will find the Random Box - Get a Thunder Gun and blow there asses all over town!

Nah - get the pistols, pack a punch them and then Mustang and Sally their zombies asses!!

Survival tips for a Zombie attack must surely include finding a shopping centre with a golf store and then tee-ing off on a few walkers from the roof?

Yeah we need to get ourself's a shopping centre sorted, we also need girls incase we get stuck up there and we need to reproduce, we also need a dvd of the Walking Dead so we need a centre that has HMV. Mmm, what else.

Myself, Hughie, Mickado, MickyT, Asbo and Gibbo are innoculating ourselves with booze while on the Cardiff HEC train. After all, have you ever seen a drunk zombie?

You do realise that everyone will be heading to shopping centres, making it a danger zone.

I think a local golf clubs club house is a good place to start (they have beer, food, a fruit machine, tv) and acres of green around them to see the zombies approaching.

Although, quoted from the Telegraph...

"The year 2012 will not bring the end of the world, a Mayan elder
has insisted, despite claims that a Mayan calendar shows that time will
"run out" on December 21 of that year."


Which actually means their calendar ends when time restarts, its their way of saying the earth will stop revolving and then spin in the reverse direction, which has happened many times in the earths history, if you believe the many Geologists who predict this too.

No, you won't "fall" off the surface of the planet, you will feel heavier in fact, and the poles will reverse too.

It should take about a week for the earth to fulfil its reverse motion, but I'm betting my socks off that it won't happen, why? because the Mayans were pratts that's why.

The Galveston Giant wrote:Yeah we need to get ourself's a shopping centre sorted, we also need girls incase we get stuck up there and we need to reproduce, we also need a dvd of the Walking Dead so we need a centre that has HMV. Mmm, what else.

The loss rate of survivors in these films is always a bit on the high side so I think we need to learn from their mistakes. If we find a shopping centre we should be covered for supplies until they find a cure. I think we just need to chill then. No point in trying to solve the problem.

Given how regularly the end of the world is predicted, I think that we need an enterprise in "End of the World Survival Kits". Two for one special offer, today only!

I will give you £6.42 for 85% of your business.

"Rule #1. Cardio"; you will need to out run them
"Rule #2. Double tap"; dont take any chances if one bullet worked two will work better
"Rule #3. Beware of bathrooms"; sometimes you just gotta go they know this
"Rule #4. Seatbelts"; outrunning them in a car dont take any chaces clunk click every trip
"Rule #7. Travel light"; tourches are always handy
"Rule #31. Check the back seat"; ALWAYS check the back seat
"Rule #18. Limber up"; stretch off you may be running for some time
"Rule #22. When in doubt, know your way out"; EXIT=>
"Rule #32. Enjoy the little things"; there may not be any big things left
"Rule #17. Don't be a hero" its me or you i dont have to outrun them, i only have to outrun you

completely plagerised from Zombieland

Hobo, you know it will be a multi-million pound business - you have no vision. How about £100,000 for 20% and I'll throw in 10 survival kits to sweeten the deal.

My last day on Earth??

Yikes!!

It's got to be a game of golf followed by a curry followed by a night of passion with Bella Emberg

What kind of shelf life does the product have? 1 day!

I'm ooot

drive4show wrote:My last day on Earth??

Yikes!!

It's got to be a game of golf followed by a curry followed by a night of passion with Bella Emberg

As a global topic this is going to confuse the hell out of anyone who hasn't ventured into the golf section

And who doesnt know who Bella Emberg is!

Isnt she dead? I suppose you can wait until tomorrow and try!

But that's just this prediction - there's one every year! I'll be rich, rich I tell you! Ahahahaha! Ahahahaha!

I'm not even worried, the idea that Zombies or the four horsemen of the apocolypse would attack an earth with Manny in it is ridiculous. He would send them back single handedly like Chuck Norris in Invasion USA, only finding time to still do the school run which was beyond even Norris. Rest easy and enjoy your weekends

I'd probably track down Floyd Mayweather and slap him across the face for being an utter tool and generally the biggest reason why boxing has become such a pain in the ass to be a fan of.

Then I'll probably go home and see my wife, we have a cuddle on the sofa and smile as the announcement comes on TV that it's a false alarm and they've got the date wrong as there's been massive confusion as to when the decade really started.

DAVE667 wrote:I'd probably track down Floyd Mayweather and slap him across the face for being an utter tool and generally the biggest reason why boxing has become such a pain in the ass to be a fan of.

Then I'll probably go home and see my wife, we have a cuddle on the sofa and smile as the announcement comes on TV that it's a false alarm and they've got the date wrong as there's been massive confusion as to when the decade really started.

And then start bricking yourself at the thought of Mayweather getting revenge!

So it's definitley the end of the world tomorrow then?

Fu*k, i wish i was single. The chicks will be dripping tonight......

Where's the nutter who actually believed this tosh, I remember some correspondence with him on here a while back?

My last day on Earth? Breaching security at a few TV shows, grabbing a few bums here & there, seeing what actually happens when instead of changing down to first gear you slam it into reverse, solving string theory, finding Matt Willis & punching him repeatedly until he cries urine.

Oh yeah, all whilst eating Cheesecake.

McLaren wrote:Where's the nutter who actually believed this tosh, I remember some correspondence with him on here a while back?

He was taken away by the banking sector conspirators.

McLaren wrote:Where's the nutter who actually believed this tosh, I remember some correspondence with him on here a while back?

Measuring Unicorn boards.

My last day shall be spent spunking my payday wages on alcohol, takeaways, and a lady of the night (or two), with no regard for the "what if it's not true" realisation the next day when I can't pay the rent or my bills...

Arent they your plans irrespective of the world ending?

survival is easy. Kill everyone else around you who hasn't been turned yet. They're gonna get bitten or give you away at some point so a little bit of murder = long term survival

Well I'm going to the Heineken Cup Final tomorrow, and my ticket was £55! So it better not end until after the cup presentation!!

Let's face it Cari, that's probably the best chance Saints have :run2:

Notch wrote:Let's face it Cari, that's probably the best chance Saints have :run2:

Talk about blatant cheating. Just as they're losing, the Saints end the world. It's not on and shouldn't be allowed.

Zombies??
Interesting

I'm playing golf tomorrow so they'd best stay off the fairways!!

MustPuttBetter wrote:Zombies??
Interesting

I'm playing golf tomorrow so they'd best stay off the fairways!!

"DRAIIIIINNNNNSSSSSS....DRAIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSS......this course needs better drainage"

Suits me fine. Exams start next week.

I worry about you Hobo

MustPuttBetter wrote:I worry about you Hobo

the rest of the admin team does as well.

The only suggestion I would have is, if the Zombies want to feed off Brains, then act stupid when you see them, they then think it's not worthwhile to go through all that trouble of cracking your skull, skinning you, prepare the feast, and then to find there is nothing between your ears.

So act stupid.

Otherwise play dead and roll over, they might not be too bright themselves.

I'm not reading any tennis boards because all the Rafalitos will be on moaning that their man has been cheated of the Slams record.

I'd probably take the opportunity to have a nice long lay in.

As zombies likes brains, I'll be dying my hair blonde tonight.

Tomorrow I shall hide out in a pub, putting Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" on repeat on the jukebox and clutching a pool que waiting on our visitors. After watching the Spanish GP qualifying session of course.

I've just booked a holiday for next week

Any chance I can get a refund????

Cari wrote:

Notch wrote:Let's face it Cari, that's probably the best chance Saints have :run2:

Talk about blatant cheating. Just as they're losing, the Saints end the world. It's not on and shouldn't be allowed.

It all makes sense now! 'When the Saints go marching in!' Chris Ashton's angel impression when he scores a try! Dylan Hartley's cherubic face!

last day on earth Eh?.......mmmmmmmmmmm

three words

Cuddle.....steal...pillage

good times

(Lex-Express does not in anyway endorse or incourage anything illegal or that may cause distress to others im not Ken Clarke)