Friday Fun - we are all doomed!

First topic message reminder :

Good morning 606v2 - I have some bad news.

Apparently it has been reported amongst some religious groups, that their calenders are showing that this weekend is actually going to be the end of the world for us all.

The news has spread like wildfire and it has led to Twitter going mental with news and views on the oncoming end of times. In fact, the most trended (ie biggest discussion) on Twitter is the Zombie Apocalypse that is upon us.

So whilst I am the bearer of bad news, I thought it would be fun (yes FUN people) that we have a discussion on what your plans will be for your last day before the dead begin to stalk us all.

Also let us know what your plans are to survive the hordes of undead in the morning.

As I said people, its Friday - so lets keep it fun! Ritz cracker for the best last day and survival plan*


(*Prize is metaphoric - no cracker prize will be given)

It’s fine Lex, the censored word replacer turned you into a rather friendly burglar.

(and no don't try and get round it with a dash or star etc )

I'm too young to die, save me!

We are planning on throwing you at the first herd of zombies we see.

Hobo wrote:We are planning on throwing you at the first herd of zombies we see.

I can always replace you in KOTR you know, so watch yourself!

he can ban you though miky

True...

I know what i would really do..

Is go and find every member of the Nag's and hug them!

Goodness I have just got in from a days hillwalking, has this got some thing to do with the 'dark mass' that seems to be much bigger than anyone expected.

Will Nick Clegg be able to save us?

Well, on the strength of this, I've already told my boss to stuff his job where the sun don't shine!

And he did!!

Anybody got a pair of long nosed pliers I can borrow?

I thought the best way to deal with zombies involved pool cues and Queen music?

I will ask any dingbat who actually believe this Poopie to give me all their stuff.

And then I will sell it all back to them the day after.

Skydriver wrote:I thought the best way to deal with zombies involved pool cues and Queen music?

Not particularly effective, for a start you need a cue-partner and it is an absolute must that both of you have rythmn.

I would take the dirtbike for one last ride in the mountains. After that surviving the zombies would be a piece of cake compared to surviving the wrath of the wife for leaving her in our (supposedly) final hours.

Of all the replies so far, I think greybeard has the most sensible idea.

Hurry, hurry it is the last day of the DFS sale!

I would present the zombies with the addresses of everyone whose p1ssed me off in the last 3 years (that's half of Nam taken care of) and first on the list is the stunted little b1tch I work with

If the zombies come by the house, we will cut them up and have a barbeque. I'm sure with a little Dijon mustard and fried onions they would be quite tasty. Wash 'em down with a beer.

Nostradamus says different!!!!

Peter Jackson - he of LOTR and King Kong fame taught us kiwis how to deal with zombies on the cheap. Watch Brain Dead if you haven't seen it before. Lawn mower as a mobile zombie harvesting device - excellent.

Anyway can't end today cause I got to take the kids to the market in an hour

I was in a lift as a the world began to end.
In the lift with me was a nubile young moisty
As the earth began to disintergrate she ripped of her tops revealing a succulent chest
I'm a virgin she screamed. Don't let me die a virgin!
Make me feel like a real woman!
Responding to her demands I ripped off my shirt revealing my six pack
Here I said. Iron this.

There is only an hour left!!

Think we've got away with it??

drive4show wrote:There is only an hour left!!

Think we've got away with it??

No, it's tomorrow, apparently Can't wait to hear the excuses for it not happening!

Oh.

Hope it's not till the evening then, I'm teeing off at 2pm.

6 pm local time apparently. Yet there's going to be a worldwide earthquake, presumably moving slowly around the planet with the sun?

Phew! That's OK then. It's going to be cloudy all day here tomorrow, so it will pass me by. But just in case, I'll probably spend the day in a door frame. I can watch the qualifying laps from there.

Time for some War Pigs followed by Highway to Hell then

Imagine what people are going to be like when 2012 comes around the amount of Facebook status' and tweets is ridicilous.

Hello Hello

Is there anyone out there?

Braiiinnnnnsssssss......

I slept in this morning no reason to get up what with the end of the world and all that, the traps I set last night...... the postman delivered early today

Hello Morgan .... its Ric .... Atlanta is not safe the crawlers attacked us last night
.... we Lost people where heading for the C.D.C .... ill try you again in the morning !

so you were watching the Walking dead last night, huh!?

yeah lol if where hhaving a zombie invasion i thought why not quote great series cant wait for season 2

******************BREAKING NEWS**************************
The world should have been ended by now
That is all
***********************************************************

Is it okay to come out of my bunker? I have enough tinned food and bottled water to last until 2034.

Nah, Nick Clegg has just lost Sheffield Hallam.

Apparently its actually the 7000th anniversary of Noahs flood thats how that nutcase predicted it, would have been a shame not to complete my exams.

Er its 10 past 7 at night and I am still here. The world has not ended and that lawn that I should be laying is still waiting.

Bu99er

That means I am going to have to apologise to my boss now!

The world ending wouldn't have anything to do with that crabby 2012 Olympics logo by any chance?


(crabby?? who came up with that in the profanity filter??)

Any apocalypse where you are? None here

Nope, move along. Nothing to see here.

I wish someone would tell my wife the world did actually end yesterday. Then I wouldn't have to cut the lawn, take out the garbage, and clean the deck. No one cares about the lawn or garbage if we are all waiting for the zombies to come over, eh?

I havent read anything similar to my plan yet, so here's how Id survive the zombie apocolypse...

1) Grab as much food as possible, enough to survive the onslaught of zombies, or until there's a break in zombie waves to go and grab more food..
2) Go to local D.I.Y store to by barbed wire, metal spikes etc etc
2a) Buy a good quantity treadmills (dependant on size of house)
3) Set up metal spikes and barbed wire etc facing INWARDS toward my house
4) Place treadmills next to each other around house, making sure that the treadmills face outwards.
5) Hide, and crank up the speed of all the treadmills to full speed.
6) Laugh as zombies stand on treadmill and are instantly flung off them into the barbed wire and metal spikes...

I would head for a museum and get some chainmail armour on pretty quick. also supply of swords/ axes I guess!

Just looked out my windoe to see that the apocolypse had actually happened, then i remembered i was in Scotland...

I don't know much about zombies, but am I right in thinking they only attack the living non-zombie people? If so, I'm hiding in a morgue or cemetary. Failing that, I want a fecking fast motorbike that I can ride pillion on (I don't have a licence and have never driven one) and the driver would preferably be a good looking fella that I could repopulate the world with after we've survived the apocalypse

Hiding amongst dead bodies - great plan cari!

To hide from zombies you need to smell like one and act like one.