The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

As the old thread is reaching its max again, I thought I would set up a whole new 20 spare pages for you all to talk about things neither cultural or Cup based.

Not that it makes a difference.

All anthropod, cortex and mild stereotyping of northerners welcome in here.

Just don't ask about the 2014 cup competition though.

Why did only half my post come up?!

Shah's been on the wacky baccie again.....

Yeah I have to be honest, took the country route from bolton back to luton through the lake district - got high and it was Frak fantastic

ShahenshahG wrote:Yeah I have to be honest, took the country route from bolton back to luton through the lake district - got high and it was Frak fantastic

That's a bit of a detour. You don't mean the peak district?

No we drove specifically to kill 14 hours

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

Even the under-8s that chin their Dads into submission?

I am disappointed, Julius.  I really hoped you or Galted would pass comment on my reply to sean.  This part in particular:

Tino wrote: I know full stop I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I won't lie, I am pretty upset right now.

It was excellent, Tino, truly excellent. I am somewhat reluctant to join in the p1ss-taking of michaels though on account of his depression, alcoholism, Francophilia and unpopular bird table.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

Even the under-8s that chin their Dads into submission?

I am disappointed, Julius.  I really hoped you or Galted would pass comment on my reply to sean.  This part in particular:

Tino wrote: I know full stop I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I won't lie, I am pretty upset right now.

It was excellent, Tino, truly excellent.  I am somewhat reluctant to join in the p1ss-taking of michaels though on account of his depression, alcoholism, Francophilia and unpopular bird table.

Thanks pal.  For a minute there, I was considering self-harming.

It was only gentle ribbing of michaels.  I have a deep rooted affection for the lad really.  I want to take him home (non-gay) and give him a good wash, get his hair cut, shave the beard off and get a good nights sleep.  I will even read him a book till he nods off.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

Even the under-8s that chin their Dads into submission?

I am disappointed, Julius.  I really hoped you or Galted would pass comment on my reply to sean.  This part in particular:

Tino wrote: I know full stop I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I won't lie, I am pretty upset right now.

It was excellent, Tino, truly excellent.  I am somewhat reluctant to join in the p1ss-taking of michaels though on account of his depression, alcoholism, Francophilia and unpopular bird table.

Thanks pal.  For a minute there, I was considering self-harming.

It was only gentle ribbing michaels.  I have a deep rooted affection for the lad really.  I want to take him home (non-gay) and give him a good wash, get his hair cut, shave the beard off and get a good nights sleep.  I will even read him a book till he nods off.

If you do that he won't stink of Poopie onion and garlic - his wife will leave him

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Thanks pal.  For a minute there, I was considering self-harming.

It was only gentle ribbing of michaels.  I have a deep rooted affection for the lad really.  I want to take him home (non-gay) and give him a good wash, get his hair cut, shave the beard off and get a good nights sleep.  I will even read him a book till he nods off.

2 hours sleep last night. My beard is unruly, hair a mess and one of my shoelaces has snapped.

ShahenshahG wrote:

If you do that he won't stink of Poopie onion and garlic - his wife will leave him

whoooaaahh. Hold on. Michaels is not married (3rd person used for emphasis). Might be engaged but it hasn't been brought up for a few years.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Thanks pal.  For a minute there, I was considering self-harming.

It was only gentle ribbing of michaels.  I have a deep rooted affection for the lad really.  I want to take him home (non-gay) and give him a good wash, get his hair cut, shave the beard off and get a good nights sleep.  I will even read him a book till he nods off.

2 hours sleep last night. My beard is unruly, hair a mess and one of my shoelaces has snapped.

I can help with the sleep, beard and hair, but Galted is probably your best bet for new shoelaces.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Thanks pal.  For a minute there, I was considering self-harming.

It was only gentle ribbing of michaels.  I have a deep rooted affection for the lad really.  I want to take him home (non-gay) and give him a good wash, get his hair cut, shave the beard off and get a good nights sleep.  I will even read him a book till he nods off.

2 hours sleep last night. My beard is unruly, hair a mess and one of my shoelaces has snapped.

I can help with the sleep, beard and hair, but Galted is probably your best bet for new shoelaces.

I treated my Hi-Tecs to a new pair of laces and they (the Hi-Tecs) destroyed them (the laces). Snapped after two days and kept on snapping in different places when I tied them together. The laces cost £2.99 which, coincidentally, is the amount that I paid for A Time To Kill.

They are brown shoe laces Galted.

I am touched by the offer though Tino.

seanmichaels wrote:I am touched by the offer though Tino.

You're welcome.

I have some good WWII books that I read to you whilst you nod off. I know you you're interested in WWII.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I am touched by the offer though Tino.

You're welcome.

I have some good WWII books that I read to you whilst you nod off.  I know you you're interested in WWII.

I think he prefers the films to the books.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I am touched by the offer though Tino.

You're welcome.

I have some good WWII books that I read to you whilst you nod off.  I know you you're interested in WWII.

I think he prefers the films to the books.

I have some good WWII films as well, but I fear that won't help him get to sleep.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I didn't notice this little gem at first, superb demonstration of when to use an apostrophe and when not to.  And it gives me the opportunity to put my name in bold.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I didn't notice this little gem at first, superb demonstration of when to use an apostrophe and when not to.  And it gives me the opportunity to put my name in bold.

Thanks GALTED

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

Even the under-8s that chin their Dads into submission?

I am disappointed, Julius.  I really hoped you or Galted would pass comment on my reply to sean.  This part in particular:

Tino wrote: I know full stop I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I won't lie, I am pretty upset right now.

Belated apologies Tino. I was especially impressed by "didn apostrophe t".

Thanks Jules.

You and Galted have posted me down from the ledge.

The edge of the ledge or did you hedge?

JuliusHMarx wrote:The edge of the ledge or did you hedge?

I am in a hedge.

How can we dance when out earth is turning?

seanmichaels wrote:How can we dance when out earth is turning?

Is your bed burning?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:How can we dance when out earth is turning?

Is your bed burning?

Quite possibly. I may have left the iron on this morning.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:How can we dance when out earth is turning?

Is your bed burning?

Quite possibly. I may have left the iron on this morning.

You iron your bed? Or was it some French sex game that you and your fiancé were doing?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:The edge of the ledge or did you hedge?

I am in a hedge.  

We'll set up a fund to get you out.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:How can we dance when out earth is turning?

Is your bed burning?

Quite possibly. I may have left the iron on this morning.

You iron your bed?  Or was it some French sex game that you and your fiancé were doing?

We don't have a laundry wing so the iron is used in the bedroom. True none anthropodic story - mate of mine was ironing and singed his helmet so badly it required medical attention. He has problems generally with his hampton though, during gardening leave he was over zealous with his cuffing to the extent that his hampton eventually became a bloody wreck.

Has anybody heard from Jeff?

I did hear some sirens going off earlier and wondered if Jeff had seen some televisions in the window of Currys and started trying to break them all whilst screaming about witchcraft and powers of darkness.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Has anybody heard from Jeff?  

I did hear some sirens going off earlier and wondered if Jeff had seen some televisions in the window of Currys and started trying to break them all whilst screaming about witchcraft and powers of darkness.

He's just arrived.

Very kind of Boris to give him a lift.

Possibly a Romanian Gentleman trying to esacpe being thrown in the Thames

I have bad news to report. Jeff has run in to trouble with the law after emptying his 'waste' bucket out of the office window on to unsuspecting passers by.

Spoiler:

Cracking test match. Saffas are a stubborn bunch of c**ts.

seanmichaels wrote:Cracking test match. Saffas are a stubborn bunch of c**ts.

If I hadn't opened the front and back doors at 02:45am to let the good luck spirits flow through.... we would have been slowly and painfully stuffed.

Thought they'd lost it when Philander was given a life. Just what we didn't need... another bloody controversy.

Geez... sport is killing me.

(cue: emo poem from Galted entitlted "Sport Is Killing Me... Slowly"

It was much more fun when you lot were rubbish at cricket, LB.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was much more fun when you lot were rubbish at cricket, LB.

For all of 30 months (including drinks breaks) you mean? Not 30 years like your rabble.

Don't worry mate, they'll get their act back together soon.
You start with poaching our water boys, groundsmen... then work your way up again.   

Linebreaker wrote:

Don't worry mate, they'll get their act back together soon.

I hope so, it is mildly depressing at the moment. I have tickets for Lords on the 14th June against Sri Lanka. They better buck their ideas up or I shall be very cross.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:

Don't worry mate, they'll get their act back together soon.

I hope so, it is mildly depressing at the moment.  I have tickets for Lords on the 14th June against Sri Lanka.  They better buck their ideas up or I shall be very cross.

I thought you were exclusively interested in boxing and egg and spoon races tino with a fetish for insects. Its sad that your idea of a midlife crisis is going to lords.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:

Don't worry mate, they'll get their act back together soon.

I hope so, it is mildly depressing at the moment.  I have tickets for Lords on the 14th June against Sri Lanka.  They better buck their ideas up or I shall be very cross.

I thought you were exclusively interested in boxing and egg and spoon races tino with a fetish for insects. Its sad that your idea of a midlife crisis is going to lords.

Rugby, boxing and cricket are my sports, Shah.  I watch a bit of darts but that isn't a sport.    

That and being a snappily dressed lothario.  Beating off all the women becomes a form of sport.

Surely I need to at least get to 41 before I have a mid-life crisis?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:

Don't worry mate, they'll get their act back together soon.

I hope so, it is mildly depressing at the moment.  I have tickets for Lords on the 14th June against Sri Lanka.  They better buck their ideas up or I shall be very cross.

I know exactly how you feel. (Just said the same to the Saffas on the other thread)

Surely you can do much better against SL and is it India just afterwards?

England need to get Morgan back into the Test side (no better option with the retirements) and obviously fast-track the confidence rebuilding of the team as a unit. Hopefully Giles can muster the right attitude and get them to concentrate on playing their best game rather than getting bogged down by all the politics. (the Australian way)   

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Linebreaker wrote:

Don't worry mate, they'll get their act back together soon.

I hope so, it is mildly depressing at the moment.  I have tickets for Lords on the 14th June against Sri Lanka.  They better buck their ideas up or I shall be very cross.

I thought you were exclusively interested in boxing and egg and spoon races tino with a fetish for insects. Its sad that your idea of a midlife crisis is going to lords.

Rugby, boxing and cricket are my sports, Shah.  I watch a bit of darts but that isn't a sport.    

That and being a  snappily dressed lothario.  Beating off all the women becomes a form of sport.

Surely I need to at least get to 41 before I have a mid-life crisis?

Living in mortal terror for 15:30pm every weekday probably aged you by a decade tino

Linebreaker wrote:

Surely you can do much better against SL and is it India just afterwards?

Yep that is right. Sri Lanka in an early English summer should be a confidence builder with the ball swinging around and we did whitewash India last time we played them at home.

But, we don't talk about whitewashes around here. Ever. Just don't.

SA and Aus are now broken. Whenever sides play intensely to get to the top they'll break down. Harris and Steyn buggered.

I hope Jeff made it back.

Me too, kept a lookout for him between The Strand and Lower Regent Street last night but no sign.  There was some chubbyish person out on his back in a garage doorway in Whitcomb Street but his groaning didn't sound very northern when I kicked him in the head for a while.  He didn't react when I gave him a thoroughly good bumming which is further evidence that it wasn't Jeff as he's not into that sort of thing.

Galted wrote: He didn't react when I gave him a thoroughly good bumming which is further evidence that it wasn't Jeff as he's not into that sort of thing.

     

I was just eating a bowl of cereal but I have now gobbed half of it over my desk. There are cornflakes in my keyboard.

I have started eating cereal at work, these days. I don't actually like cereal that much but my colleague (the fat one who smokes a lot) made a comment about how annoying he found it so I have started.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I hope Jeff made it back.

Jeff back or Jeff Beck?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I hope Jeff made it back.

Jeff back or Jeff Beck?

Jeff Beck.