The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

As the old thread is reaching its max again, I thought I would set up a whole new 20 spare pages for you all to talk about things neither cultural or Cup based.

Not that it makes a difference.

All anthropod, cortex and mild stereotyping of northerners welcome in here.

Just don't ask about the 2014 cup competition though.

Turgid.

Nocturnal on here.

Diurnal now.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Nocturnal on here.

0:55! Bloody hell Jules, what happened there? Did you get up for a wee and forget where your bedroom was?

And happy birthday to Jeff

  

I hope he is alright in Laandan. It can be a cruel and unforgiving place. They won't care if it is his birthday or not.

What if he forgets that cars move faster than horses and steps into the road. Or even worse, he meets TopHat.

Please be safe, Jeffrey.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:And happy birthday to Jeff

  

I hope he is alright in Laandan.  It can be a cruel and unforgiving place.  They won't care if it is his birthday or not.

What if he forgets that cars move faster than horses and steps into the road.  Or even worse, he meets TopHat.

Please be safe, Jeffrey.

I'm with you on that, and happy birthday, Jeff. Throughout the day I shall be keeping a lookout for bewildered northerners and helping them to cross roads and use escalators.

I will keep my wits about me as well in case I see a confused looking man wearing a '41 today' badge that is being driven back every time he tries to cross a road.

He might pop in Wrap-It-Up after your reviews and get confused by the lack of whippet pie and stoat pancakes. Help him out, Galted, if you see him in there.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Nocturnal on here.

0:55!  Bloody hell Jules, what happened there?  Did you get up for a wee and forget where your bedroom was?

Not far past my usual bedtime Tino. 12:15 - 12:45 in general. Depends what's on TV. You need less sleep as you get older.

Many thanks for your kind words and concern. Have just got on train so nerves are kicking in. Don't fear cars or fancy foods , but meeting top hat is terrifying

Happy birthday Jeff. Not that's there's anything happy about being 41. You'll be 50 soon.

Rowley wrote:but meeting top hat is terrifying

At least he will be easy to avoid. Just hide behind a building every time you see Jabba the Hutt waddling down the road.

What did TSMR get you?

Nothing yet Tina going shopping this evening

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I will keep my wits about me as well in case I see a confused looking man wearing a '41 today' badge that is being driven back every time he tries to cross a road.

He might pop in Wrap-It-Up after your reviews and get confused by the lack of whippet pie and stoat pancakes.  Help him out, Galted, if you see him in there.

No worries, I'm in with the Wrap-It-Up staff and I'm sure they'd be more than happy to come up with some north-friendly bogus dishes to make Jeff feel at home.

"Stoat pancakes" did make me laugh, I might try ordering them the next time I eat in a pretentious restaurant and a waiter treats me with disdain.

Galted wrote:

"Stoat pancakes" did make me laugh, I might try ordering them the next time I eat in a pretentious restaurant and a waiter treats me with disdain.

I was going to steal from Life of Brian and use 'wolf nipple chips' in the hope of luring Julius in. I know he likes Monty Python and I felt sorry for him t'other day when he couldn't join in The Office quotes.

Morning all, Many happy returns for the day Jeff.

I think you may be ok in Wrap it Up, it sounds all together too healthy for Toppy

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

"Stoat pancakes" did make me laugh, I might try ordering them the next time I eat in a pretentious restaurant and a waiter treats me with disdain.

I was going to steal from Life of Brian and use 'wolf nipple chips' in the hope of luring Julius in.  I know he likes Monty Python and I felt sorry for him t'other day when he couldn't join in The Office quotes.

Did you ever see the Ricky Gervais/Garry Shandling interview. One comedy genius talking to.....Ricky Gervais.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
I was going to steal from Life of Brian and use 'wolf nipple chips' in the hope of luring Julius in.  I know he likes Monty Python and I felt sorry for him t'other day when he couldn't join in The Office quotes.

Well, then, he shouldn't be allowed near animals.

Rowley wrote:Many thanks for your kind words and concern. Have just got on train so nerves are kicking in. Don't fear cars or fancy foods , but meeting top hat is terrifying

Happy birthday sir.

Watched 'A Time to Kill' last night. Acceptable Galted?

seanmichaels wrote:Watched 'A Time to Kill' last night. Acceptable Galted?

Watching it is acceptable only if you admit afterwards that it's a shower of sh1t and that your two-and-a-half hours could have been better spent.  Scored a 4 on the GSoE after I'd spent two pounds and ninety-nine pence on it.

What's wrong with it? I like southern drawl.

Have you seen Life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence?

seanmichaels wrote:What's wrong with it? I like southern drawl.

Have you seen Life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence?

Haven't seen Life.

It's quite a while since I saw A Time To Kill so I can't remember everything I hate about it but the stereotyping was a bit annoying, the rousing summing-up was insulting to the intelligence, the verdict was moronically unrealistic, the "he's innocent" line was excruciating and the characters were non-dimensional. It only got 4 because Ashley Judd is pretty decent w*nk material.

I thought it was good.

Life is one of my favourite films. Some cracking lines in it.

Life sucks.
Oh, my mistake, you were talking about the film.

Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Galted wrote:Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Is it the one where the lawyer says "now imagine she was black" in his summing up speech or something like that?

Isn't a Time to Kill the one based on the John Grisham book??

The book's great and I think you've sold the film short, not that it's great, but pretty decent certainly.


Oh, and happy birthday Jeff.


Oh again, and F*CK YOU, Tino.

TopHat24/7 wrote:
Oh again, and F*CK YOU, Tino.

  
  

Galted wrote:probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Don't ever feel like you need justification for that.

Providing she's not one of the smoking hot ones, preferably one of the gyppo ones, don't hold back....!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Is it the one where the lawyer says "now imagine she was black" in his summing up speech or something like that?

Would be more likely to have been "imagine she was white" but sounds like it.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Is it the one where the lawyer says "now imagine she was black" in his summing up speech or something like that?

Would be more likely to have been "imagine she was white" but sounds like it.

Well that says it all then. Not only is it the one thing I remember about the film, it was so unmemorable that I got it wrong.

I will give it a 3 on the GSoE. It loses a mark as I don't want to think of you w*nking over Ashley Judd. No offense, old pal.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Is it the one where the lawyer says "now imagine she was black" in his summing up speech or something like that?

Would be more likely to have been "imagine she was white" but sounds like it.

Well that says it all then.  Not only is it the one thing I remember about the film, it was so unmemorable that I got it wrong.

I will give it a 3 on the GSoE.  It loses a mark as I don't want to think of you w*nking over Ashley Judd.  No offense, old pal.

None taken. Didn't actually break out into a w*nk, was more than likely seething over my £2.99.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Is it the one where the lawyer says "now imagine she was black" in his summing up speech or something like that?

Would be more likely to have been "imagine she was white" but sounds like it.

Well that says it all then.  Not only is it the one thing I remember about the film, it was so unmemorable that I got it wrong.

I will give it a 3 on the GSoE.  It loses a mark as I don't want to think of you w*nking over Ashley Judd.  No offense, old pal.

None taken.  Didn't actually break out into a w*nk, was more than likely seething over my £2.99.

And thanks for ensuring that I'm no longer a minority of one. With some peer pressure we could probably get michaels to change his mind.

TopHat24/7 wrote:

Galted wrote:probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Don't ever feel like you need justification for that.

Providing she's not one of the smoking hot ones, preferably one of the gyppo ones, don't hold back....!

I normally have a policy of sparing the hotties but there is a danger they'll just churn out more gypos.

Galted wrote:

And thanks for ensuring that I'm no longer a minority of one.  With some peer pressure we could probably get michaels to change his mind.

I think if we both keep telling him we agree with him about how sh*t the film is, it will only take a few posts before he gets confused and starts to fall in line.

Galted wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:

Galted wrote:probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Don't ever feel like you need justification for that.

Providing she's not one of the smoking hot ones, preferably one of the gyppo ones, don't hold back....!

I normally have a policy of sparing the hotties but there is a danger they'll just churn out more gypos.

Nah, the hotties will pair up with decent rich folk for an easy life so no chance of sprogging any future scum.

Sandra Bullock was in it. She would get it sideways.....

The film is rubbish, Grisham is a hack.

Film snobs. Good entertaining movie full stop. Good mullet as well.

seanmichaels wrote:full stop

Why didn't you use '.'?

Galted wrote:Have added Life to the Lovefilm list.

I seem to be in a minority of one in thinking that A Time To Kill was crap, probably justifies chucking a Romanian into the Thames the next time I cross Westminster Bridge.

Just be sure to check your pockets before you make the release.

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

seanmichaels wrote:

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

I know full stop I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

You should have used FACT

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

I know full stop  I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

You should have used FACT

His english teacher used to bum him every time he called opinion fact. So now he uses it in the privacy of his toilet only and not on a forum.

ShahenshahG wrote:
His english teacher used to bum him every time he called opinion fact. So now he uses it in the privacy of his toilet only and not on a forum.

My English teacher actually made me cry. I was never really that good at acting or reading and he slated me for my interpretation of Bottom's (acted) death in A midsummer Night's dream.

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

Even the under-8s that chin their Dads into submission?

seanmichaels wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:
His english teacher used to bum him every time he called opinion fact. So now he uses it in the privacy of his toilet only and not on a forum.

My English teacher actually made me cry. I was never really that good at acting or reading and he slated me for my interpretation of Bottom's (acted) death in A midsummer Night's dream.

We had a pretty decent one but she looked like a pug who hit all the branches of the ugly tree then landed on galteds face. Put us off.

To celebrate this fine day, this birthday of rowleys - a little levity amid the seriousness of this thread.

Gather round ye children of leisure and listen to the Chronicles of Rowley, hark ye and gather closer to the fire lest there be daemons lurking in the shadows. Our hero, the noble protagonist, Rowley who has been compelled to embark on a quest within a land so dangerous they only allow immigrants to move there. England.

Part one: Tophat

Species: Human
Subspecies: Ballbag
Distinctive marks: Chocolate stains around the lips and poor people blood at the soles of the feet.

Summary:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for tophat - I did not speak out because they couldn't move him.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Good mullet as well

Pat Sharpe or Hillbilly murderer?

Hillbilly murderer although he was shamefully wasteful with his beer cans.

Tino - FULL STOP was for emphasis. All the kids are using it.

Even the under-8s that chin their Dads into submission?

I am disappointed, Julius.  I really hoped you or Galted would pass comment on my reply to sean.  This part in particular:

Tino wrote: I know full stop I was trying to be funny comma it obviously didn apostrophe t work full stop

I really thought it was my finest work and would appeal to yours and Galted's humour.

I won't lie, I am pretty upset right now.