The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Beautiful - well played  Eat it Tina.

Yeah, I agree. eat it Tina.

Morning all, watched American Sniper this weekend, don't bother, right wing American propaganda drivel. Terrible waste of a couple of hours, and Cooper's oscar nomination is one of the least warranted ever.

Rowley wrote:Morning all, watched American Sniper this weekend, don't bother, right wing American propaganda drivel. Terrible waste of a couple of hours, and Cooper's oscar nomination is one of the least warranted ever.

Thumping victory for the Villa, Jeff?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Morning all, watched American Sniper this weekend, don't bother, right wing American propaganda drivel. Terrible waste of a couple of hours, and Cooper's oscar nomination is one of the least warranted ever.

Thumping victory for the Villa, Jeff?

Can't remember when last I had any interest in the fifth round draw. Unfortunately I can't openly display this interest as I officially couldn't care less about soccer-football to avoid getting into any "we won the mcdonalds/apple/betfair w*nk cup last season so I know more than you" arguments with complete planks.

Am considering watching American Sniper but I need to be assured that Bradley Cooper gets killed.

Really don't know how to react to the victory Tina, am very out of practice when it comes to these matters.

Galted wrote:
Am considering watching American Sniper but I need to be assured that Bradley Cooper gets killed.

People got in trouble for posting spoilers on the film section the other day, so I could not possibly comment. I watched it YESterday by the way.

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:
Am considering watching American Sniper but I need to be assured that Bradley Cooper gets killed.

People got in trouble for posting spoilers on the film section the other day, so I could not possibly comment. I watched it YESterday by the way.

I haven't watched it, so I know NOthing

Just because its a depressing rainy day, I shall tell you a joke. Was a bit iffy but the guys at my workplace still thought it funny even though I had to translate to english. Just remember that in punjabi - Bond means Bumhole.

HEH HEH HEH Angreji PilMa bahut mashwar ho gaya hun

HA HA HA English films have become very famous

Ek munda hunda, janda apne pyo kol

There is a boy who goes to his father

Kehnda Dad Dad mainu panj pound dai main james bond di film vekhni aa

Says Dad Dad give me 5 pounds please I want to watch a james bond film

Mai kehnda Saaya, panj pound ki karniya?

I replied, My son, What are you going to do with 5 pounds?

Meri Bond dekhla

You can look at my bond for free







Laugh or Die.

And this man must be the punjabi Sean

That is rubbish.

seanmichaels wrote:That is rubbish.

I know, I ripped it from your autobiography.

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:
Am considering watching American Sniper but I need to be assured that Bradley Cooper gets killed.

People got in trouble for posting spoilers on the film section the other day, so I could not possibly comment. I watched it YESterday by the way.

Cheers, Jeff. Excellent post, you've set a very high standard for the week, pretty pointless trying to match it.

Have you heard someone has finally agreed to sign Shaun Wright Phillips?

We have a saying amongst our people that "my word is my bond".

I hope Bondnal don't make the Final.

Nothing against them... but I'd prefer to see a team like West Hampton-upon-Castlewall lift the wooden spittoon for a change.

Paddington bear will never be the same again...

rick_dagless wrote:Paddington bear will never be the same again...

Nor will a cup of tea.

Operation Honeycomb?

Jules wrote:Nor will a cup of tea.

Russ Abbot too...

seanmichaels wrote:Have you heard someone has finally agreed to sign Shaun Wright Phillips?

ALDI will always need staff

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Have you heard someone has finally agreed to sign Shaun Wright Phillips?

No, who?

Angelina Jolie.

I just went to the kitchen.

Reached into the cupboard to get the coffee out. Someone hadn't put the lid on properly. The lid came off, in my right hand, whilst the coffee jar fell away. I went for a left handed slip catch but only got my finger tips to it.

Coffee jar hits the corner of the unit, smashes and lands on the floor.

Glass fragments and coffee all over the kitchen floor.

Bursting into tears and running away is the only response to that.

Galted wrote:Bursting into tears and running away is the only response to that.

I got a dustpan and brush and swept it up.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Bursting into tears and running away is the only response to that.

I got a dustpan and brush and swept it up.

That's just the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that makes you such an asset to any financial organisation.

At boarding school dropping your lunch / tea tray was possibly the worst mistake you could make. 100 odd people howling and banging the table. Good times.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Bursting into tears and running away is the only response to that.

I got a dustpan and brush and swept it up.

That's just the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that makes you such an asset to any financial organisation.

Thanks, pal.

I even rang the people that do the cleaning and told them about it so they can dispose of the glass safely. The glass fragments are secured away in a plastic bag in the kitchen, well out of the reach of young children. I put a little post it note on the bag to inform my colleagues of it's contents.

Office responsibility, Galted, something we should all take seriously.

seanmichaels wrote:At boarding school dropping your lunch / tea tray was possibly the worst mistake you could make. 100 odd people howling and banging the table. Good times.

A worse mistake than dropping the soap after rugger?

ATTENTION MODS!!!

Windows misused an apostrophe on the limerick thread.

Do people ever put your stationary in jelly windows?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Bursting into tears and running away is the only response to that.

I got a dustpan and brush and swept it up.

That's just the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that makes you such an asset to any financial organisation.

Thanks, pal.

I even rang the people that do the cleaning and told them about it so they can dispose of the glass safely. The glass fragments are secured away in a plastic bag in the kitchen, well out of the reach of young children. I put a little post it note on the bag to inform my colleagues of it's contents.

Office responsibility, Galted, something we should all take seriously.

Admirable attitude but a waste of time over here with the angry Kiwi smashing things up for no obvious reason.

seanmichaels wrote:Do people ever put your stationary in jelly windows?

We are quite high up, the windows are all made of reinforced glass. No jelly ones anywhere, sorry.

naughty naughty boy

Has anyone ever put anything into jelly Denise?

Stationery...not Stationary

Simple rule - 'e' for "envelope", 'a' for "at rest"

Anyway, props to Tina for wasting a f*cking hour sorting out the glass from the coffee. If you dropped the marmalade, would you sort out the mess into glass, marmalade and rind?

superflyweight wrote:Has anyone ever put anything into jelly Denise?

Yeah, at Hallowe'en, you put those scary eyeballs in a big bowl of jelly and "duck" for eyeballs...or you can put them in individual pots!

DAVE667 wrote:Stationery...not Stationary

Simple rule - 'e' for "envelope", 'a' for "at rest"

Anyway, props to Tina for wasting a f*cking hour sorting out the glass from the coffee. If you dropped the marmalade, would you sort out the mess into glass, marmalade and rind?

I probably would actually, but we don't have marmalade in the cupboard so it's unlikely I'll ever have to do this.

It was surprisingly therapeutic separating it all out. The big pieces of glass were easy to locate, but the smaller fragments were difficult. I did what I could though, being careful not to cut myself. I then had an interesting dilemma. We have different bins here for different types of waste. The bigger pieces of glass were, as previously mentioned, stored in a plastic bag and removed from the scene (there isn't actually a bin specifically for glass). But, and this is the really interesting bit, I was left with a dustpan full of instant (is it? Probably is, unlike soup) coffee which almost certainly contained small but potentially dangerous fragments of glass.

Where does that go? We have a bin for food waste (which actually states that coffee beans and tea bags are acceptable) but it doesn't offer any guidance on food waste contaminated with glass. After some deliberation, I decided to empty the contents of the dustpan into the food waste bin, content with the knowledge that I had removed the bigger and more lethal fragments.

This has been my most productive work morning in about a decade.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:Stationery...not Stationary

Simple rule - 'e' for "envelope", 'a' for "at rest"

Anyway, props to Tina for wasting a f*cking hour sorting out the glass from the coffee. If you dropped the marmalade, would you sort out the mess into glass, marmalade and rind?

I probably would actually, but we don't have marmalade in the cupboard so it's unlikely I'll ever have to do this.

It was surprisingly therapeutic separating it all out.  The big pieces of glass were easy to locate, but the smaller fragments were difficult.  I did what I could though, being careful not to cut myself.  I then had an interesting dilemma.  We have different bins here for different types of waste.  The bigger pieces of glass were, as previously mentioned, stored in a plastic bag and removed from the scene (there isn't actually a bin specifically for glass).  But, and this is the really interesting bit, I was left with a dustpan full of instant (is it?  Probably is, unlike soup) coffee which almost certainly contained small but potentially dangerous fragments of glass.

Where does that go?  We have a bin for food waste (which actually states that coffee beans and tea bags are acceptable) but it doesn't offer any guidance on food waste contaminated with glass.  After some deliberation, I decided to empty the contents of the dustpan into the food waste bin, content with the knowledge that I had removed the bigger and more lethal fragments.

This has been my most productive work morning in about a decade.

Must admit to being semi tumescent after reading that Tina. Personally I'd have swilled the lot down the sink and let the water board filter it all out.

Now go out and buy some marmalade!

I would have put it all back in and let nature take it's course...

Think I am with Rick on this one, anyone who drinks the communal coffee, which is invariably rubbish, rather than bringing their own is someone who clearly needs weeding out. It is Darwinism at its most pure.

I am not Demis Roussos

Jeff wrote:Think I am with Rick on this one, anyone who drinks the communal coffee, which is invariably rubbish, rather than bringing their own is someone who clearly needs weeding out. It is Darwinism at its most pure

Absolutley, also, it would weed out those who think they are stealing and being "cheeky" about it, also deserve some kind of hellish internal injury.

rick_dagless wrote:I would have put it all back in and let nature take it's course...

I couldn't, the jar was in a thousand pieces.

Tino wrote:I couldn't, the jar was in a thousand pieces.

With all the forementioned thinking outside the box I am sure you would have found a way...

I used to work somewhere where everyone brought their own coffee and milk in. Stealing of milk in the fridge was rife. A kid I worked with got so sick of it he bought a carton of milk, wrote his name on it and left it in the fridge, but he put a couple of tabs of acid in the bottom. Can't decide if it is the work of a genius or someone completely lacking a sense of proportion.

I didn't care though, I take my coffee black.

Rowley wrote:I take my coffee black.

Me too.

I like me coffee like I like my women... In a plastic cup.

At school we used to get the communal milk (usually a 4 pinter) and pour it all over the radiators in the rooms or dorms of people we disliked. Great times.

My missus has a machine. I make her a flat white at weekends. I however have workman's coffee, al jazeera or something like that.

I take my coffee coloured.

rick_dagless wrote:I like me coffee like I like my women...

Scousest sentence ever?

seanmichaels wrote:At school we used to get the communal milk (usually a 4 pinter) and pour it all over the radiators in the rooms or dorms of people we disliked. Great times.

You mean you all got together in a circle and w*nked each other off? Last one to jizz has to buy the biscuits?