The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:Buenos días, los tres amigos.

I was caught up somewhere in the Milky Bar Way yesterday.

a dime for your thoughts?

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty
Sound of their breath fades with the light

Are you hoping Michael Cadbury plays a scorcher tonight? It's just starting here.

Rowley wrote:Have you been watching Symphony on BBC 4 Galted, a history of the symphony, is the second episode tonight, covering the later of Beethoven's works onwards. Mozart and Hyden last week, lovely stuff.

I haven't Jeff, wasn't aware it was on. Will see if it's on catch-up.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Benders.

PHUCK YOU, TINO! BLOODY WELL PHUCK YOU A LOT!! I EVEN PUT IN A HETEROSEXUAL ANECDOTE ABOUT SOME DECENT-LOOKING GASH TO PROVE HOW NON-BENDERISH IT WAS. I CALLED HER A BITCH FFS. A BITCH!!

IDIOT.

Nice one, galted. I'm a fan of listening to the pastoral when sitting at my desk in work. Never fails to put me in a good mood. Have a recording of a performance conducted by Leonard Bernstein which is excellent. Was also performed at the proms last year and I had a lovely evening listening to that and reading a biography of Joe Louis.

Benders.

Galted wrote:Hope I'm not lowering the tone but I watched Beethoven's pastoral symphony at the royal festival hall last night. Phucking excellent. Some Mendelssohn and Mahler to start with which was less phucking excellent. Quite a good-looking bird playing cello, managed to deviously work out her name using Tinoish stalking tactics and looked her up on the internetwork, turns out she's originally from auckland and isn't so hot close up. Bitch.

what a bender

Can I ask an important cultural question?

when having the morning shower, does anybody brush their teeth at the same time?

No.

Do you think it is a bad thing?

I don't.

Benders

superflyweight wrote:Nice one, galted. I'm a fan of listening to the pastoral when sitting at my desk in work. Never fails to put me in a good mood. Have a recording of a performance conducted by Leonard Bernstein which is excellent. Was also performed at the proms last year and I had a lovely evening listening to that and reading a biography of Joe Louis.

Went to the proms last year for the first time, Beethoven again, think it was the 8th. Did the queueing bit to get seats in the gallery, great way to spend an evening, lying on your back and listening.

Rowley wrote:I don't.

You don't do it or you don't think it is bad? Obviously you wouldn't brush your teeth in the bath, unless you had a menthol soak which would be possible I would think.

I have no opinion on it Sean. Given brushing your teeth does not take particularly long anyway I can't see the point though.

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Nice one, galted.  I'm a fan of listening to the pastoral when sitting at my desk in work.  Never fails to put me in a good mood.  Have a recording of a performance conducted by Leonard Bernstein which is excellent.  Was also performed at the proms last year and I had a lovely evening listening to that and reading a biography of Joe Louis.  

Went to the proms last year for the first time, Beethoven again, think it was the 8th. Did the queueing bit to get seats in the gallery, great way to spend an evening, lying on your back and listening.

Bender.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Nice one, galted.  I'm a fan of listening to the pastoral when sitting at my desk in work.  Never fails to put me in a good mood.  Have a recording of a performance conducted by Leonard Bernstein which is excellent.  Was also performed at the proms last year and I had a lovely evening listening to that and reading a biography of Joe Louis.  

Went to the proms last year for the first time, Beethoven again, think it was the 8th. Did the queueing bit to get seats in the gallery, great way to spend an evening, lying on your back and listening.

Bender.

internet bully

Rowley wrote:I have no opinion on it Sean. Given brushing your teeth does not take particularly long anyway I can't see the point though.

I'm getting banjo from the missus for doing it. I can't see the problem but from my brief survey on whatsapp it appears it is not the done thing.

What has become of this place?
Benders everywhere. Shall I physically burn my own face?
Classical music, jazz and Radox?
I wish I could die of death or smallpox.
Where is Dave to talk about SLAYER?
Could this place get any gayer?
Jeff from the North, having a soak?
Give me a stick. My eyes need a poke.
Superfly and Galted gaying it up at the Proms
Where is Shah to destroy me with bombs?
Julius, oh Julius. Save me from this life.
My soul is crushed. I’m even hated by my wife.
A pot! A pot! That’s what foods cooked in, RiCK.
I hate myself. Why am I such a d*ck.
Truss said my c*ck is shrivelled and small.
Raf even told me I was too gay for netball.
Union, Union. My old pal Union Cane
He now plays golf. Oh the pain, oh the pain.
LD the Aussie. He is all man.
He can help Sean to Oz, that is the plan.
So that just leaves me. The only one left.
My friends all gone. The Culture Cup bereft.
I may as well end it. Look to salvation in God.
Although knowing my luck, I’ll be eaten by an arthropod.
Tell my kids I love them. It was my weakness alone.
And Jules, keep giving Mrs Windows your bone.
The Cup was all I had. My life and my soul.
It’s so gay round here now, it resembles Sean’s bumhole.
So farewell, and adieu. It’s time to end all this pain.
I’m off to live with Vladimir. My old chum, out in Spain.

8.5/10

seanmichaels wrote:8.5/10

Thanks, mate.

lost 1.5 for mentioning my gayness. i think i'm going to have to raise the bar a bit in terms of details of my conquests.

That was quite moving, Tino.

Galted wrote:That was quite moving, Tino.

Thanks, G-Unit.

It felt quite cathartic (that's for you, Jeff) writing it.

Life is cruel and I'm a fool
to hope for happiness today
when Tino cries and sean tries
to prove that he's not a gay
When rowley binds his wife so tight
and Kingraf tarts up for the do tonight
and ricks dag...you get the gist
and superfly looks like an ovarian cyst
Then there's dave whos covered in gore
and galted who stars in jersey shore
and Adam who reads and rarely posts
because he's a c*nnt who think he hosts
And last but not least there's loaded dog
who tore down his house because sean used the bog
and here ends this saga and ill leave it to Tino
because he's the only one who can relate to a f*ck ing emo.

And Julius I left you out because there's nothing emo ish about you.

That was slightly less moving, shah.

ShahenshahG wrote:Life is cruel and I'm a fool
to hope for happiness today
when Tino cries and sean tries
to prove that he's not a gay
When rowley binds his wife so tight
and Kingraf tarts up for the do tonight
and ricks dag...you get the gist
and superfly looks like an ovarian cyst
Then there's dave whos covered in gore
and galted who stars in jersey shore
and Adam who reads and rarely posts
because he's a c*nnt who think he hosts
And last but not least there's loaded dog
who tore down his house because sean used the bog
and here ends this saga and ill leave it to Tino
because he's the only one who can relate to a f*ck ing emo.

It's good. Not as good as mine, but good.

Galted wrote:That was slightly less moving, shah.

I f*cking love you, Galted.

I'm delighted that some of you have felt the need to vocalize your angst through poetry (EMO or otherwise) however, I'm just as happy with those of you referring to the classical music listening brigade as "benders".

I bet IS would put an end to all that nonsense. Sadly they'd replace it with burning people alive, having you marry an eight year old and banning beauty parlours so all the women look like they come from Newcastle.

It's not all gravy!

working on an epic myself

Epic what? An epic w@nk or epic lie about you having sex with a woman?

i've hung up my hampton.

Emo poems are Sh!t
Handel is for great big g@ys
Haiku's don't all rhyme

seanmichaels wrote:i've hung up my hampton.

That made me snort a bogey onto my desk.

Just went a bit mental in the newsagent. Was buying euromillions tickets and embarked on a Barratt and Bassett's-related spending spree. I now have a tube of refreshers, and one of aniseed imperials. Best give my teeth a good scrub tonight (non-shower).

Galted wrote:Just went a bit mental in the newsagent. Was buying euromillions tickets and embarked on a Barratt and Bassett's-related spending spree. I now have a tube of refreshers, and one of aniseed imperials. Best give my teeth a good scrub tonight (non-shower).

Lick one and offer it to the kiwi

Have to add that I am quite thrilled with my purchase. I have a tendency to consume aniseed imperials too quickly and, as a result, the enjoyment is dminished as I approach the end of the pack. The refreshers serve as a quite delightful palate cleanser and I'm consequently thoroughly enjoying every one of today's imperials.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Just went a bit mental in the newsagent. Was buying euromillions tickets and embarked on a Barratt and Bassett's-related spending spree. I now have a tube of refreshers, and one of aniseed imperials. Best give my teeth a good scrub tonight (non-shower).

Lick one and offer it to the kiwi

I'm a bit wary of him today, he's pottering around in the background chuntering to himself. I should lick a refresher and stick it to his head.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:That was slightly less moving, shah.

I f*cking love you, Galted.

I love you too, Tino, but not in that way, rather in a way that's massively gay.

I've been so busy posting I've forgotten whether I last had a refresher or an imperial. This could phuck up the sequence. My next choice is monumentally important.

I went for an imperial and I made the right choice. I know it's right because it feels right and that's the most important thing.

Galted wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Just went a bit mental in the newsagent. Was buying euromillions tickets and embarked on a Barratt and Bassett's-related spending spree. I now have a tube of refreshers, and one of aniseed imperials. Best give my teeth a good scrub tonight (non-shower).

Lick one and offer it to the kiwi

I'm a bit wary of him today, he's pottering around in the background chuntering to himself. I should lick a refresher and stick it to his head.

Liberally apply veet to the inside of a hat then force it on his head, its a rural recipe for calmness

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Just went a bit mental in the newsagent. Was buying euromillions tickets and embarked on a Barratt and Bassett's-related spending spree. I now have a tube of refreshers, and one of aniseed imperials. Best give my teeth a good scrub tonight (non-shower).

Lick one and offer it to the kiwi

I'm a bit wary of him today, he's pottering around in the background chuntering to himself. I should lick a refresher and stick it to his head.

Liberally apply veet to the inside of a hat then force it on his head, its a rural recipe for calmness

The Kiwi is bald though so that would be a bit of waste.

If Galted smeared Veet on his palm and then cupped the Kiwi's balls, that might be more effective.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Galted wrote:Just went a bit mental in the newsagent. Was buying euromillions tickets and embarked on a Barratt and Bassett's-related spending spree. I now have a tube of refreshers, and one of aniseed imperials. Best give my teeth a good scrub tonight (non-shower).

Lick one and offer it to the kiwi

I'm a bit wary of him today, he's pottering around in the background chuntering to himself. I should lick a refresher and stick it to his head.

Liberally apply veet to the inside of a hat then force it on his head, its a rural recipe for calmness

The Kiwi is bald though so that would be a bit of waste.

If Galted smeared Veet on his palm and then cupped the Kiwi's balls, that might be more effective.

Or galted stick his c0ck into the kiwis ear and claim he misunderstood the term 'wet willy'

I put veet on my balls once but they bled a bit.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R231U4ZG0YDNHD/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R231U4ZG0YDNHD

Though I am sure you have all read them...

And for those that are interested

Vegetable broth, turkey and stuffing sandwich, worcester sauce French Fries. 6.5/10

Anyone ever had denver steak?

No.

bender

No.