The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **Union Cane** Mon 23 Mar 2015, 10:01 am

First topic message reminder :

Rowley wrote:Got about 15 films for less than 40 quid so thought if I only like half of them it represents decent value. Unfortunately N by NW is not one of them, which is a pity as I have seen that and enjoyed it

Does it include that one with the birds, I forget what it is called.

by Guest Wed 01 Apr 2015, 7:42 am

Galted wrote:Y
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:

How is the missonary work down south going?

It's difficult, RicK. I won't pretend otherwise.

I've tried to educate these people but they don't want to know. They hear a northern accent and assume I need help crossing the road. Or they bring me a pigeon from Trafalgar Sq and ask if it's mine.

Think how painful Jeff finds it coming for his day trips down here. That's my life. On a daily basis.

The only reason I hang around is for the slim hope of meeting Galted as he strides past Liverpool St station.

These days most of my purposeful striding is done between Bank and Moorgate, just look for a mob of swooning gash.

Did you read about those 2 Mancs who got hit by a tube at Old Street? That's the reason your type requires help. Just google daft northern c*nts get totalled by southern transport if anyone wants to check whether they knew them.

Wasn't there some silly southern bint who fell under the tube on her morning commute recently. This twuntish behavior doesn't appear to be exclusive to Northerners, Galted, just clumsy ar$eholes

by Guest Wed 01 Apr 2015, 7:49 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:What you need to do Tina, is buy progressively bigger and bigger rats to kill the incumbent until you have one big enough for your lad to punch unconscious

I don't think that'd work Dave. Rats have self preservation skills and young Tino Jr has ring rust from beating up on northern roadsweepers

Form is temporary, class is permanent

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 7:51 am

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:What you need to do Tina, is buy progressively bigger and bigger rats to kill the incumbent until you have one big enough for your lad to punch unconscious

I don't think that'd work Dave. Rats have self preservation skills and young Tino Jr has ring rust from beating up on northern roadsweepers
Form is temporary, class is permanent

Tell that to tino who lives in fear of the moment the clock strikes 3:30 each day

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 7:57 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:What you need to do Tina, is buy progressively bigger and bigger rats to kill the incumbent until you have one big enough for your lad to punch unconscious

I don't think that'd work Dave. Rats have self preservation skills and young Tino Jr has ring rust from beating up on northern roadsweepers
Form is temporary, class is permanent

Tell that to tino who lives in fear of the moment the clock strikes 3:30 each day

I'm at work at 15:30 most days. Nothing to fear other than the southern c*nts I work with attempting to talk to me.

by Guest Wed 01 Apr 2015, 7:59 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:What you need to do Tina, is buy progressively bigger and bigger rats to kill the incumbent until you have one big enough for your lad to punch unconscious

I don't think that'd work Dave. Rats have self preservation skills and young Tino Jr has ring rust from beating up on northern roadsweepers
Form is temporary, class is permanent

Tell that to tino who lives in fear of the moment the clock strikes 3:30 each day

I'm at work at 15:30 most days. Nothing to fear other than the southern c*nts I work with attempting to talk to me.

I imagine it's mostly vowel sounds bellowed at an annoying, full of undeserved self importance level, isn't it?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:04 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:What you need to do Tina, is buy progressively bigger and bigger rats to kill the incumbent until you have one big enough for your lad to punch unconscious

I don't think that'd work Dave. Rats have self preservation skills and young Tino Jr has ring rust from beating up on northern roadsweepers
Form is temporary, class is permanent

Tell that to tino who lives in fear of the moment the clock strikes 3:30 each day

I'm at work at 15:30 most days. Nothing to fear other than the southern c*nts I work with attempting to talk to me.
I imagine it's mostly vowel sounds bellowed at an annoying, full of undeserved self importance level, isn't it?

Exactly that. Usually followed by a guffaw. Not a laugh, a full on guffaw.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:11 am

Tino wrote:Exactly that. Usually followed by a guffaw. Not a laugh, a full on guffaw.

And a completely unecessary back slap with a knowing wink.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:15 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Tino wrote:Exactly that. Usually followed by a guffaw. Not a laugh, a full on guffaw.

And a completely unecessary back slap with a knowing wink.

Sometimes they even high five and say "Awright geeezzaa, you're the facking maaan. Lets get down da stair an' wander ter da pub fer a babycham awer two. Sorted mate".

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:21 am

Pint o'gravy

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:31 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:Y
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:

How is the missonary work down south going?

It's difficult, RicK. I won't pretend otherwise.

I've tried to educate these people but they don't want to know. They hear a northern accent and assume I need help crossing the road. Or they bring me a pigeon from Trafalgar Sq and ask if it's mine.

Think how painful Jeff finds it coming for his day trips down here. That's my life. On a daily basis.

The only reason I hang around is for the slim hope of meeting Galted as he strides past Liverpool St station.

These days most of my purposeful striding is done between Bank and Moorgate, just look for a mob of swooning gash.

Did you read about those 2 Mancs who got hit by a tube at Old Street? That's the reason your type requires help. Just google daft northern c*nts get totalled by southern transport if anyone wants to check whether they knew them.

F*ck you then.

I'll go back to aimlessly wandering around the midlands hoping to meet Julius.

Working from home, I barely leave the house. I'd advise loitering around various tennis clubs of an evening. In any case, I'll see you at my 50th birthday party.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:33 am

seanmichaels wrote:Pint o'gravy

She were only a Dog breeders daughter but she would bring it out for air and say Whippet.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:38 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Working from home, I barely leave the house. I'd advise loitering around various tennis clubs of an evening. In any case, I'll see you at my 50th birthday party.

I've been trying that.

I spent last Thursday evening hanging around Telford tennis club.

Didn't see you though.

by Guest Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:48 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:

Working from home, I barely leave the house. I'd advise loitering around various tennis clubs of an evening. In any case, I'll see you at my 50th birthday party.

I've been trying that.

I spent last Thursday evening hanging around Telford Gent's toilet.

Didn't see you though.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:59 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:

Working from home, I barely leave the house. I'd advise loitering around various tennis clubs of an evening. In any case, I'll see you at my 50th birthday party.

I've been trying that.

I spent last Thursday evening hanging around Telford Gent's toilet.

Didn't see you though.

Don't push me, Dave. I'll f*ck you up good and proper.

I could find you easily. Just head to Bradford and look for a bald, tattooed guy hanging around at MIKE AND THE MECHANICS gigs.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 8:59 am

Mrs Dagless, Bradford born and bred took an online "test" on that social media site that can not be mentioned on here, and her accent came out as cockney...

Much hilarity ensued...

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:06 am

What is UKIP's stance on northeners? Will they be allowed?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:09 am

rick_dagless wrote:Mrs Dagless, Bradford born and bred took an online "test" on that social media site that can not be mentioned on here, and her accent came out as cockney...

Much hilarity ensued...

What f*cking winds me up is the southern nonces down here that can’t distinguish between Yorkshire and anywhere else up north.

“Eh up, ere comes Teenor. As tha worked out t’train timetable yet?”.

Hilarious. I’m from the north west you stupid c*nt. F*cking miles from Yorkshire.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:11 am

Tino wrote:
What f*cking winds me up is the southern nonces down here that can’t distinguish between Yorkshire and anywhere else up north.

“Eh up, ere comes Teenor. As tha worked out t’train timetable yet?”.

Hilarious. I’m from the north west you stupid c*nt. F*cking miles from Yorkshire.

Slags, the lot of em....

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:13 am

I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:13 am

sean wrote:What is UKIP's stance on northeners?

Usually slightly mincy with an air of smugness that only a marginal seat in Europe can produce...

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:13 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Mrs Dagless, Bradford born and bred took an online "test" on that social media site that can not be mentioned on here, and her accent came out as cockney...

Much hilarity ensued...

What f*cking winds me up is the southern nonces down here that can’t distinguish between Yorkshire and anywhere else up north.

“Eh up, ere comes Teenor. As tha worked out t’train timetable yet?”.

Hilarious. I’m from the north west you stupid c*nt. F*cking miles from Yorkshire.

That's because Yorkshiremen are the only northerners worth knowing about.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:14 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Mrs Dagless, Bradford born and bred took an online "test" on that social media site that can not be mentioned on here, and her accent came out as cockney...

Much hilarity ensued...

What f*cking winds me up is the southern nonces down here that can’t distinguish between Yorkshire and anywhere else up north.

“Eh up, ere comes Teenor. As tha worked out t’train timetable yet?”.

Hilarious. I’m from the north west you stupid c*nt. F*cking miles from Yorkshire.

That's because Yorkshiremen are the only northerners worth knowing about.

What about your 'cousins' in northern Iraq?

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:15 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
rick_dagless wrote:Mrs Dagless, Bradford born and bred took an online "test" on that social media site that can not be mentioned on here, and her accent came out as cockney...

Much hilarity ensued...

What f*cking winds me up is the southern nonces down here that can’t distinguish between Yorkshire and anywhere else up north.

“Eh up, ere comes Teenor. As tha worked out t’train timetable yet?”.

Hilarious. I’m from the north west you stupid c*nt. F*cking miles from Yorkshire.

That's because Yorkshiremen are the only northerners worth knowing about.

What about your 'cousins' in northern Iraq?

They're southerners to me

by Rowley Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:15 am

The concept of nationality or regionality and the pettiness which is inherent in it is beneath me.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:16 am

Shah wrote:That's because Yorkshiremen are the only northerners worth knowing about.

It is because it is big, and the brain capacity allocated to something apart from shouting and guffawing is pretty minimal so southerners just play the averages.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:16 am

Rowley wrote:The concept of nationality or regionality and the pettiness which is inherent in it is beneath me.

Says the bloke that relies on that very thing for his income.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:18 am

Rowley wrote:The concept of nationality or regionality and the pettiness which is inherent in it is beneath me.

Fat C*nt

by Rowley Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:20 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:The concept of nationality or regionality and the pettiness which is inherent in it is beneath me.

Says the bloke that relies on that very thing for his income.

By letting any old c*nt in I am working from within to dilute the concept to the point of it being redunant.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:21 am

Rowley wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:The concept of nationality or regionality and the pettiness which is inherent in it is beneath me.

Says the bloke that relies on that very thing for his income.

By letting any old c*nt in I am working from within to dilute the concept to the point of it being redunant.

Sean has been trying the same with any old P*nis and it hasnt worked for him. As a concept its very much flawed

by **Galted** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:23 am

Apologies for not quoting the original posts but the Samsung Ret@rd can't handle quotes of more than a few lines.

@ Tino. Apologies. Just had a stroll through Liverpool Street station to atone. Some old fella was mocking arthropods so I gave him a flying kick in the kneecaps and a karate chop to the clavicle.

@ SerialDave. Watch out for my southern bint rebuttal this evening. It's a corker.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:32 am

Galted wrote:

@ Tino. Apologies. Just had a stroll through Liverpool Street station to atone. Some old fella was mocking arthropods so I gave him a flying kick in the kneecaps and a karate chop to the clavicle.

You're back on my 'I love you but not in a massively gay way' list.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:36 am

I bet Afghans regularly get in with the delivery of a bag of fuel for Jeff's coalfired bath tub.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:38 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:39 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

What is a mid atlantic brogue?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:41 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

Don't Jules. Just be yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin.

You f*cking c*nt.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:44 am

We can all agree on scousers being the lowest of northeners can't we?

Scouse, Scots, Geordies, The ones who say thur instead of there, Yorkshire.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:46 am

seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

What is a mid atlantic brogue?

OK sean, here's the thing. Pay attention. I lived in Canada but now live in the UK. So I have no real accent when I talk. A brogue is an accent, so I say I have a mid-Atlantic brogue. But - and this is the clever part - a brogue is also a type of shoe. Hence I wear it on my left foot. It's a joke, you see, a pun, or a play on words. My, how we laughed at the club over cocktails.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:53 am

seanmichaels wrote:We can all agree on scousers being the lowest of northeners can't we?

Scouse, Scots, Geordies, The ones who say thur instead of there, Yorkshire.

I sound like a scouser, but I'm most definitely not one.

They are nice people though. Very nice. Apart from the accent, I'll concede that.

However bad it is though, it's nowhere near as grating as Cockernee and Essex boys. You faacking slaaags.

by Rowley Wed 01 Apr 2015, 9:57 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

What is a mid atlantic brogue?

OK sean, here's the thing. Pay attention. I lived in Canada but now live in the UK. So I have no real accent when I talk. A brogue is an accent, so I say I have a mid-Atlantic brogue. But - and this is the clever part - a brogue is also a type of shoe. Hence I wear it on my left foot. It's a joke, you see, a pun, or a play on words. My, how we laughed at the club over cocktails.

Think you should have worked an almost certainly untrue anecdote about sex with a woman into the first line Jules, wildly ambitious to believe you will have held his attention without one.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:00 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:We can all agree on scousers being the lowest of northeners can't we?

Scouse, Scots, Geordies, The ones who say thur instead of there, Yorkshire.

I sound like a scouser, but I'm most definitely not one.

They are nice people though. Very nice. Apart from the accent, I'll concede that.

However bad it is though, it's nowhere near as grating as Cockernee and Essex boys. You faacking slaaags.

Scousers are the worst (just behind welsh in UK terms)

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:02 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

What is a mid atlantic brogue?

OK sean, here's the thing. Pay attention. I lived in Canada but now live in the UK. So I have no real accent when I talk. A brogue is an accent, so I say I have a mid-Atlantic brogue. But - and this is the clever part - a brogue is also a type of shoe. Hence I wear it on my left foot. It's a joke, you see, a pun, or a play on words. My, how we laughed at the club over cocktails.

Is there an underwater city in the middle of the atlantic?

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:26 am

seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:I have a mid-Atlantic brogue.
Which I wear on my left foot.

Sorry, I meant to say 'C*nts. Fat f*cking slags.'
I need try harder to fit in around here.

What is a mid atlantic brogue?

OK sean, here's the thing. Pay attention. I lived in Canada but now live in the UK. So I have no real accent when I talk. A brogue is an accent, so I say I have a mid-Atlantic brogue. But - and this is the clever part - a brogue is also a type of shoe. Hence I wear it on my left foot. It's a joke, you see, a pun, or a play on words. My, how we laughed at the club over cocktails.

Is there an underwater city in the middle of the atlantic?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mid-Atlantic_English

Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:27 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:29 am

I have no lie about the sexytime.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:30 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:31 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

So they did find their way home after escaping us. Plucky

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:34 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

I once fingered 7 librarians with awful scouse accents at the same time.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:35 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

I once fingered 7 librarians with awful scouse accents at the same time.

What did you do with the other finger/thumbs?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:36 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

I once fingered 7 librarians with awful scouse accents at the same time.

What did you do with the other finger/thumbs?

Flicked through a Dostoyevsky novel that was on the table.

by Rowley Wed 01 Apr 2015, 10:37 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

I once fingered 7 librarians with awful scouse accents at the same time.

What did you do with the other finger/thumbs?

I like to believe he used them to thumb through one of the books available in the library. It makes the disrespect for the sanctity of the library more palatable to me.

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