The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Rowley wrote:Got about 15 films for less than 40 quid so thought if I only like half of them it represents decent value. Unfortunately N by NW is not one of them, which is a pity as I have seen that and enjoyed it

Does it include that one with the birds, I forget what it is called.

Rowley wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Would it help if I said I once shagged a woman with a mid-atlantic accent?

We would certainly believe you at least.

I once shagged 7 women with mid-atlantic accents at the same time.

I once fingered 7 librarians with awful scouse accents at the same time.

What did you do with the other finger/thumbs?

I like to believe he used them to thumb through one of the books available in the library. It makes the disrespect for the sanctity of the library more palatable to me.

Well I suggest you read my previous post, Jeffrey.

Great minds and all that.

Beautiful stuff Tina, Theodore Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky

Do libraries stock Viz?

As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

Which can also be slightly modified to become Rhod Gilbert.

Rowley wrote:Beautiful stuff Tina, Theodore Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky

That's the chap.

From memory it was The Brothers Karamazov.

Great book.

Have read Crime and Punishment, not exactly laugh a minute stuff.

Rowley wrote:Have read Crime and Punishment, not exactly laugh a minute stuff.

Read it whist fingering some librarians. Makes all the difference.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:Have read Crime and Punishment, not exactly laugh a minute stuff.

Read it whist fingering some librarians.  Makes all the difference.  

To what? Whether or not you leave the Library slightly more maudlin or in handcuffs?

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

Why? Why? Why?

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be honest I imagine Sean's Tom Jones impression is simply a variation of Jones' "I sang with (insert name of person these c*nts on The Voice have never heard off...and the contestants haven't heard of either)" and it's just Sean saying in a dodgy Welsh accent "I've sh*gged her y'know"

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be bummed by anyone...

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be bummed by everyone...

Fixed that and also gonna rename it "Sean's Song"

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be bummed by everyone...

Fixed that and also gonna rename it "Sean's Song"

Or whale song in tribute to the biggest things he can fit in his arse

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be bummed by everyone...

Fixed that and also gonna rename it "Sean's Song"

Or whale song in tribute to the biggest things he can fit in his arse

Surely that would be Michael Jackson's "Earth Song"

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be bummed by everyone...

Fixed that and also gonna rename it "Sean's Song"

Or whale song in tribute to the biggest things he can fit in his arse

Surely that would be Michael Jackson's "Earth Song"

That depends if you count space jam as in or out

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:As an aside, I found out that I also do a good Tom Jones impression at the weekend.

It's not unusual

To be bummed by everyone...

Fixed that and also gonna rename it "Sean's Song"

Or whale song in tribute to the biggest things he can fit in his arse

Surely that would be Michael Jackson's "Earth Song"

That depends if you count space jam as in or out

You'd have to shake it all about, do the hokey cokey and then turn around

DAVE667 wrote:

Galted wrote:Y

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

How is the missonary work down south going?

It's difficult, RicK.  I won't pretend otherwise.

I've tried to educate these people but they don't want to know.  They hear a northern accent and assume I need help crossing the road.  Or they bring me a pigeon from Trafalgar Sq and ask if it's mine.

Think how painful Jeff finds it coming for his day trips down here.  That's my life.  On a daily basis.

The only reason I hang around is for the slim hope of meeting Galted as he strides past Liverpool St station.

These days most of my purposeful striding is done between Bank and Moorgate, just look for a mob of swooning gash.

Did you read about those 2 Mancs who got hit by a tube at Old Street? That's the reason your type requires help. Just google daft northern c*nts get totalled by southern transport if anyone wants to check whether they knew them.

Wasn't there some silly southern bint who fell under the tube on her morning commute recently. This twuntish behavior doesn't appear to be exclusive to Northerners, Galted, just clumsy ar$eholes

Read the articles more closely:
The silly southern bint was pushed from a crowded platform into the path of the train and survived.
One of the daft northern bastards fell in front of the train whilst jumping up and down on an empty platform, the other was hit whilst still on the aforementioned platform

Translation
Southern bint minding her own business nudged callously in the back by a 40-something man wearing a JEFFREY DAHMER t-shirt and SLAYER wristbands.

Northerner 1 was overly excited at seeing a train not ON the ground, but IN the ground.  His excitement erupted as it entered the station causing him to p1ss himself and fall.  Northener 2 tried to help him and in doing so bent over the platform's edge, clearly not aware that in-the-ground-magical trains are not made of gossamer and fairy's whispers but of a ph*cking hard substance which southerners refer to as metal, and was smeared unpleasantly along the platform.

Strangely enough, I was driving to Tesco last night and ended up behind a tanker for 'Northern Disposal Ltd'. I had visions of it being full of my comrades who have been either hit by trains or cars, or have become shell shocked by living in the south.

First. Again.

Fist

Good morning shlaaaaaags

Neck loosening up a bit days a bit grey but a long weekend ahead so yay.

and Galted

Damn you to hell tino

Morning

Morning all. Four day weekend, should hopefully shake of the foul mood that appears to have descended over me for no apparent reason.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Strangely enough, I was driving to Tesco last night and ended up behind a tanker for 'Northern Disposal Ltd'.  I had visions of it being full of my comrades who have been either hit by trains or cars, or have become shell shocked by living in the south.

First.  Again.

Northern Disposal Services actually. Just researched it properly. They are based in Hopton New Road, Mirfield, West Yorkshire.

This changes things dramatically. I now have visions of it being a company owned by Dave and Jeff specifically created with the aim of collecting up soft, Babycham drinking southerners like Galted, and disposing of them by feeding them to whippets or using their crushed up remains for ballast.

They probably tempt southerners into the tanks by offering free elderberry juices or a quinoa and pomegranate salad before slitting their throats with a rusty knife.

We round up displaced northerners who have spent too long down south and have become too effete and soft and put them through an intensive boot camp to reassert their northerness. You were lucky Tina, you were within a whisker of being collected, it was only a timely viewing of Rugby League the other month that saved you.

Tino wrote:This changes things dramatically. I now have visions of it being a company owned by Dave and Jeff specifically created with the aim of collecting up soft, Babycham drinking southerners like Galted, and disposing of them by feeding them to whippets or using their crushed up remains for ballast.

Just up the road from me (about 15 miles) I can check it out for blood stained Gore Tex if you wish Tino?

Morning all

rick_dagless wrote:

Just up the road from me (about 15 miles) I can check it out for blood stained Gore Tex if you wish Tino?

Lots of southerners wear Gore Tex, RiCK, as they get all teary and emotional when the temperature drops a degree. Only a very few are as completely out of touch with the modern world as to wear Hi-Tecs though. If you find a pair of empty Hi-Tecs, it may well be time to mourn for Galted.

Have you ever seen starving African's wearing Hi-Tecs? Or Tech by Tumi coats? There is a reason you won't ever see it.

Tino wrote:Lots of southerners wear Gore Tex, RiCK, as they get all teary and emotional when the temperature drops a degree. Only a very few are as completely out of touch with the modern world as to wear Hi-Tecs though. If you find a pair of empty Hi-Tecs, it may well be time to mourn for Galted.

Have you ever seen starving African's wearing Hi-Tecs? Or Tech by Tumi coats? There is a reason you won't ever see it.

I will pop down in my lunch time and check for crap trainers not attached to etnics, but still attached to a desecrated corpse.

Really hope Jules is not Cynthia Lennon

Rowley wrote:Really hope Jules is not Cynthia Lennon

Aye you'd be gutted if you were playing the flute solo to the thought of Julius and then realised it was Lennon

Guess who (culture cup)

Loaded dog or Galted

Galted

Rowley or Tino

ShahenshahG wrote:Rowley or Tino

Although looking at the velvet trousers and pixie boots, it could well be Sean himself.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:Rowley or Tino

Although looking at the velvet trousers and pixie boots, it could well be Sean himself.

Yes but then he'd be walking on his hands and all those kids would be peering over his rim at the artist

Tino

Windows

God Almighty, that's uncannily like my colleague

Shah.

Dave

Union Cane

Morning you horrible people

Morning Adam how goes it ye olde bugger

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Adam how goes it ye olde bugger

In a terrible mood. I have come on here for the first time in a long time to blow off steam.

Union Cane