The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **seanmichaels** Thu 17 Dec 2015, 9:37 am

First topic message reminder :

Jeff's Manbag

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:12 pm

Alistair wrote:
Rowley wrote:On an unrelated point for anyone who has Netflix they should really watch Making a Murderer, it is about a bloke in America who gets wrongly convicted of murder and within two years of getting out gets accused again. Will not tell you more than that because it is better without knowing much more, but I have watched 8 out of the 10 shows and it is utterly compelling viewing. Definitely worth watching.

Will watch that once i complete Brooklyn Nine Nine.

You should try How To Get Away With Murder, Rowley.

Or Independence Day.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:24 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Mate, I think it is just a mum thing, they all seem to want fat kids, go figure.

Toppys mum once caught a drunken sean wearing a miniskirt and walking backwards down the stairs. She had a quick peek into the abyss and then patted him on the back saying....I know exactly how you feel dear...

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:25 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Rowley wrote:On an unrelated point for anyone who has Netflix they should really watch Making a Murderer, it is about a bloke in America who gets wrongly convicted of murder and within two years of getting out gets accused again. Will not tell you more than that because it is better without knowing much more, but I have watched 8 out of the 10 shows and it is utterly compelling viewing. Definitely worth watching.

Will watch that once i complete Brooklyn Nine Nine.

You should try How To Get Away With Murder, Rowley.

Or Independence Day.

Just how excited are you for the new film?

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:27 pm

Alistair wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:
Rowley wrote:On an unrelated point for anyone who has Netflix they should really watch Making a Murderer, it is about a bloke in America who gets wrongly convicted of murder and within two years of getting out gets accused again. Will not tell you more than that because it is better without knowing much more, but I have watched 8 out of the 10 shows and it is utterly compelling viewing. Definitely worth watching.

Will watch that once i complete Brooklyn Nine Nine.

You should try How To Get Away With Murder, Rowley.

Or Independence Day.

Just how excited are you for the new film?

The Tv screen is polka dotted.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:28 pm

As excited as I was for Star Wars. My ex told me she saw the trailer for Independence Day 2 and started crying as it reminded her of me so much. Laugh

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:37 pm

Poor cow. At least it wasn't a bag of chips.

What are peoples opinions on p*ss taking colleagues? There's a bird in my office who takes her hour lunch; leaves the office, comes back and spends the next hour making and eating her lunch.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:39 pm

Alistair wrote:Poor cow. At least it wasn't a bag of chips.

What are peoples opinions on p*ss taking colleagues? There's a bird in my office who takes her hour lunch; leaves the office, comes back and spends the next hour making and eating her lunch.

We had a lady here who used to cycle in every day. Then she'd wash her hair in the kitchen sink every morning.

She didn't last long.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:40 pm

Alistair wrote:What are peoples opinions on p*ss taking colleagues? There's a bird in my office who takes her hour lunch; leaves the office, comes back and spends the next hour making and eating her lunch.

Gets right on my Bristols Alistair truth be told...

Just Give DAVE her details...

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:41 pm

I wouldn't mind so much, lord knows i run over a few minutes most days, but not by an hour. Really annoys me when she turns into a whining c**t cause she's busy.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:44 pm

All birds do it here. People eating at their desk really fecks me off, a sandwich ok but cooked meals..... There's a fecking canteen downstairs, eat it there you fat c**t.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:46 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

We had a lady here who used to cycle in every day. Then she'd wash her hair in the kitchen sink every morning.

She didn't last long.

A bloke here does similar. Gets dressed in the downstairs bogs. Drives me crazy as I usually dump first thing.

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:48 pm

On office based behaviour...

If you need a sh*t, do you need the toilet to be empty? Or can you go with people next to you?

Some of the blokes here are f**king animals.

by **Union Cane** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:52 pm

Sh*t at home FFS.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:52 pm

I'd rather do it at work and get paid for it.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:54 pm

Paid poos all the way...

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:56 pm

Don't get peace at home either!

Don't envy the cleaners here, that's for sure.

by **Union Cane** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:58 pm

You're not really getting paid for it though are you. Don't be silly.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:59 pm

You are if you're on an hourly wage.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 06 Jan 2016, 2:59 pm

Union Cane wrote:You're not really getting paid for it though are you. Don't be silly.

But it feels like it, Union. That's the point.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:02 pm

Alistair wrote:On office based behaviour...

If you need a sh*t, do you need the toilet to be empty? Or can you go with people next to you?

Some of the blokes here are f**king animals.

You would have loved sh!tgate a few years back.....

Always has to be on a different floor (level - windows) to the one you work on.

by **Union Cane** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:03 pm

There's a book in one of the bogs here called 'How To Poo At Work', reminds me of sean every time I see it.

Somebody has scribbled 'Please wipe after use' on it in marker pen which has kinda put me off having a look though.

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:18 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Alistair wrote:On office based behaviour...

If you need a sh*t, do you need the toilet to be empty? Or can you go with people next to you?

Some of the blokes here are f**king animals.

You would have loved sh!tgate a few years back.....

Always has to be on a different floor (level - windows) to the one you work on.

I do that. Or go down a level. Upstairs has a closed cubicle, no gaps, let rip knowing only you can hear yourself.

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:21 pm

All cubicles enclosed here. I like to wait until the whole toilet washroom is empty before leaving the cubicle. It is not a time for tittle tattle or pleasantries.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:28 pm

https://www.606v2.com/t37907p100-flintoffs-debut#1712950

For you Alistair

by **seanmichaels** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:35 pm

Heartbreak Skid

by Alistair Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:42 pm

I'm actually in tears.... i was doing alright until....

Union Cane wrote:He might be doing that thing where you can sense that it is not quite as solid as you would like so you try to pinch it a bit to let it run out slowly, but you let go a little too much and it all comes out at once like an unstoppable tidal wave, coating the pan in the process, with the accompanying sound of a kind of cross between a round of applause and lots of people spitting

And then...

Shah wrote:His boss might have heard him straining and panting in the cubicle next door and given him maternity leave

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 3:53 pm

Twas marvellous work all round

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 5:53 pm

Thats quite a fantastic read. Not a fan of the moody mod though.

Some great wrestling lines in there, got me a right stonk on reading those.

by Guest Wed 06 Jan 2016, 6:32 pm

Evening all, especially to Sean who I'm glad isn't dead even though he will reek of vomit til June and Tina who is still my favourite based on the fact that..
A/ He just is and
B/ None of you other c*nts feel the need to usurp him and be top of my affections lists (although given it sometimes gets muddled with my "Who do I really want to kill first" list, I can understand your reticence).

Computers at work are being a sh!t so posting has been reduced to this...

My wife and I were once in The Asda doing the weekly shop (knives, heavy duty refuse bags, masking tape, rope etc) and the lady in front of use didn't have enough money for everything she'd got in her trolley so we offered to pay the difference. It only came to a couple of quid and she was very grateful and me and the wife went home feeling good about the whole thing.

The point being, ROWLEY is a miserable b*stard.

by **Galted** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 6:43 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Rowley wrote:I used to smoke Tina. Stopped when I started the new job. Stopped like a man as well. Bit of willpower and Dunkirk spirit.

So did I. I think it will be 10 years this November.

I cut up a full pack of 20 Marlboro. Chucked them in the bin and never picked one up again.

Real men do it cold turkey.

Northerner my arse - if you were really one you wouldn't throw away what could be stowed, sold or used. Any Man of the North worth his bath salt would smoke a pack if it were offered to him for free even if he hadn't touched them in his life. And Marlboro? Surely it should have been Woodbines or Capstan Full Strength?

Sort yourself out, Tino. I know it's a leap year and you've got an exciting overseas trip planned but it doesn't mean you should neglect the details.

FFS.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 06 Jan 2016, 8:43 pm

Julius Julius where art thou
I miss thee dearly so attend me now
Thou art sweeter than the easter bunny
And calling you and old c*ck was me failing to be funny.
Wit and wisdom are thy blades
More potent than Hugh jack man's shades
Oh jule Julius won't you pleasèeeeeeeee
Come on home

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 6:33 am

Lovely ode to Jules Shah!

Fist

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 6:35 am

All things bright and beautiful
all creatures great and small
All things wise and Julius
The lord God made them all

~~FIST~~ Sicond

Morning Rick Roll

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 6:35 am

For the sake of F*ck

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 6:38 am

Wotcha Shah, you good in the hood?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 6:43 am

Fantastic actually. There was actually an egg and cress baguette in the shop this morning. Wild Windy and wet and otherwise miserable but not a bad start to the day.

What about you?

Won't You Come Home Jul Julius
Won't You Come Home
I'm Home The Whole Night Long
I'll Do The Cookin' Honey
I'll Pay The Rent
I Know That I've Done You Wrong

Remember That Rainy Eve That I Drove You Out
With Nothin But A Fine Tooth Comb
Yes I Know That I'm Too Blame
Ain't That A Shame
Jul Julius Won't You Please Come Home

Won't You Come Home Jul Julius
Won't You Come Home
I'm Home The Whole Night Long
I'ma Gunna Do Your Cookin' Honey
I'ma Gunna Pay Your Rent
I Know That I've Done You Wrong
(Won't You Come Home Jul Julius)

Remember That Rainy Eve That I Drove You Out
With Nothin But A Fine Tooth Comb
Well I Know That I'm To Blame
And Ain't That A Dirty Low Down Shame
Jul Julius Won't You Please Come Home
Come Home Jul Julius
Jul Julius Won't You Please Come On Home
Come Home Jul Julius
Jul Julius Won't You Please Come On Home
Come Home

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 7:14 am

Wet and windy here as well mate and finally got a leaving date so I can really put my feet up now.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 7:21 am

Your apathy is affecting everyone else my friend.

Good work.

Start eating indian meals at your desk and farting in tune to yakety sax. They might give you your notice period off.

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
Julius once was a true love of mine

Tell Julius to make me a cambric shirt

(On the side of a hill in the deep forest green)
Parsely, sage, rosemary & thyme
(Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground)
Without no seams nor needlework
(Blankets and bedclothes a child of the mountains)
Then Julius'll be a true love of mine
(Sleeps unaware of the clarion call)
Tell Julius to find me an acre of land

(On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves)
Parsely, sage, rosemary, & thyme
(WaJuliusd is the ground with so many tears)
Between the salt water and the sea strand
(A soldier cleans and poliJuliuss a gun)
Then Julius'll be a true love of mine

Tell Julius to reap it in a sickle of leather

(War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions)
Parsely, sage, rosemary & thyme
(Generals order their soldiers to kill)
And to gather it all in a bunch of heather
(And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten)
Then Julius'll be a true love of mine

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
Julius once was a true love of mine.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 7:29 am

Shah wrote:Start eating indian meals at your desk and farting in tune to yakety sax. They might give you your notice period off.

To be honest Shah, eating indian food in Bradford is pretty de rigeur, though a flatulent melody played anally, may hurry the process along may do the job nicely!
You sorted your place, hols etc, out yet mate?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 7:51 am

Going to check my payslip tomorrow to see if it's sorted. Otherwise going to go into passive resistance mode and decline out of contract hours.

by Rowley Thu 07 Jan 2016, 7:52 am

Morning all. Finished Making a Murderer last night. It made me extremely melancholy. If only we had a tv section where I could discuss these things.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 7:56 am

Rowley wrote:Morning all. Finished Making a Murderer last night. It made me extremely melancholy. If only we had a tv section where I could discuss these things.

?! Are you bearing a surrogate baby for Tino?

Morning by the way.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:13 am

Morning Jeffers... Not seen the programme but it appears to be causing quite a stir!

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:15 am

Good morning.

Trains are c*nts.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:17 am

What did the big bad train do to you Tino. Morning.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:18 am

Jules, I'm sorry,
won't you come on home? we worry.

by **rIck_dAgless** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:20 am

Shah wrote:What did the big bad train do to you Tino. Morning.

Spoiler:

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:23 am

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:30 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Shah wrote:What did the big bad train do to you Tino. Morning.

Spoiler:

l*l

Just the usual delays and appalling customer service. There never seems to be any staff around when the weather is rather inclement. Loads around in the summer.

Stood in the p*ssing rain and howling wind waiting for a train that is late (again) that I am now paying more money for. C*nts.

I need SerialDAVE to take a machete to the b*stards.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 07 Jan 2016, 8:33 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Stood in the p*ssing rain and howling wind waiting for a train that is late (again) that I am now paying more money for. C*nts.

You should take up smoking.

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