Things that have no place in rugby

Earlier today I made a rather cryptic thread commenting on something which I thought rugby could well do without: namely backs who feel the need to grow beards as if they were auditioning for a part in a shipwreck movie. You can get away with the Grizzly Adams look if you're a forward simply because you can get away with a lot of things when you're that size.

On Sunday night I watched the full Reds Ceusaders game. My understanding is that Crotty is growing his beard and won't shave it off until his good mate Fruean is back and recovered from heart surgery. I can make an exception for this much like hideous taches in Movember as it's selflessly minded. I don't profess to know the story of Dom Shipperley but if he doesn't have one he should be slapped silly by his team mates until he shaves that ridiculous beard off. I'm not saying a back can't have a beard but this don't come near me I'm crazy beard look is fooling nobody.

So apologies to those frustrated by my obtuseness but some of the comments did get me wondering. The wearing of skull caps, celebrating of tries, tattoos and long hair came up. So what do you think should be banned by the IRB? In no particular order and apart from Robinson Crusoe beards on backs or at least backline players here are things that need to go. I'm not interested in laws but I am in incidental things.

1. Halftime comments from a player with no interest in making one. Just leave them be. We know what they're thinking and we know they're not going to say what they're thinking.

2. Music to artificially generate atmosphere. This is a big gripe with NZ in particular. Fine at sevens but no Mexican trumpet at kick offs, no music after a try. Just let the game do the talking.

3. Video technology is all well and good when used properly. But often it is used needlessly and kills the continuity of the game. Sometimes it needs to be used and sometimes we all know the ref or linesmen saw what happened but just want to play it safe.

No doubt I will add to the list but that'll do for now. Get it off your chests. Don't hold back. It feels good!

We keeping this light-hearted, or can we go morally heavy??
 
If so, eye-gouging and malicous intent.

 On the light-hearted side of things, I'm not a huge fan of dancing mascots on the sidelines.

Whats Piri Weepu's excuse?

GunsGerms wrote:Whats Piri Weepu's excuse?

he keeps snacks in it to chew throughout the game.

The beard catches food that misses his mouth, so nothing is wasted.

Pretty sure teams have tried working 'cleanly-shaven' into his contract as ploy to aid him lose weight, but he's never accepted.

He's trying to hide his bulk down below I think GG. The way he was handed off at the start of the season by Robbie Fruean suggests he didn't possess Samson strength through his beard. Quite the opposite. He seemed to give it to others.

I think light-hearted is the way to go bluestonevedder. Eye gouging and foul play in general have no place in the game obviously. Let's take that kind of thing as read.

Ban the All Blacks, then we can be number one.  

Fair enough Kia! I'm not a fan of backs wearing scrum caps, or the excessive use of tape on limbs that all players seem to be adopting?!?

As a back that used to rock long hair and a beard I see no issue. Other than in Poopie conditions when the hair gets plastered to the side of your face and starts to impair vision. After that game it got shortened. I still grow a beard on occasion but nothing caveman like. Tattoos are an entirely personal thing, I don't have any but I'm not bothered if others do.

Personally I do wonder about backs in scrum caps. What's the point? They impair your ability to hear other players, offer minimal padded protection and if you're the 10 handily place a big target on yourself at the rucks.

A great example of the OP and beards is the 'scary' Ian Humphries, formerly of Ulster. A outside half, about 5'10" and 13 stone trying to look like Neanderthal man:

Edit: can't upload a pic from iPad - google him and shake your head in disgust.

I called them a skull cap bluestone! Backs who wear them have never been in a scrum.

As a concerned parent or a player that has stitches or a head injury, I can see why you'd wear one bluestone. Personally I'd never wear one but they don't annoy me.

I'm more annoyed with the blood bin ruling. Sometimes a player wipes it away but the player is still obviously bleeding. Sure it's disruptive but why was the law introduced in the first place. That's getting into the laws of the game and I'm contradicting what I earlier said!

That twit within earshot at every game who continuously gets the players name wrong.  Now I don't mind someone mistaking centres (say BOD and Darcy) in the middle of a pile of bodies but when someone is cheering on a winger  when they actually mean the second row that pisses me off.

Oh, and guy who signs as he voice breaks while managing to be both not in time with the chant and also completely off key.. everytime.  It must take more effort to always be that wrong.

They always seem to be noticably louder than all around them. [okay i'll admit it, it's one lad that sits two rows behind me at most games]

Look at this baby face: http://www.google.com/search?q=dom+shipperley&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=oVbtUZH5Aany7Aa7j4DYDA&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=617

A neat trim beard is acceptable to get rid of this boy next door image. But Les Miserables extra's beard he was sporting on Saturday just looked ridiculous.

Griff wrote:A great example of the OP and beards is the 'scary' Ian Humphries, formerly of Ulster. A outside half, about 5'10" and 13 stone trying to look like Neanderthal man:

Edit: can't upload a pic from iPad - google him and shake your head in disgust.

That's a shocker Griff: http://www.google.com/search?q=ian+humphreys+ulster&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=hVjtUd7JMoef7gbby4DQAQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=617#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=kPJtM-t4cidlnM%3A%3BoJL41KLpRDa_mM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fi47.tinypic.com%252Fvctn5v.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwhiffofcordite.com%252F2012%252F05%252F10%252Fwelcome-to-jackson-country%252F%3B641%3B361

I have hair like that. Just not on my face...

It's a back's responsibility to look well presented to the ladies. Some differ greatly in their interpretation of well presented but they all became rugby players as boys for one thing. Even Neil Jenkins recognised this and pulled accordingly by remaining relatively clean shaven.

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:I called them a skull cap bluestone! Backs who wear them have never been in a scrum.

As a concerned parent or a player that has stitches or a head injury, I can see why you'd wear one bluestone. Personally I'd never wear one but they don't annoy me.

I'm more annoyed with the blood bin ruling. Sometimes a player wipes it away but the player is still obviously bleeding. Sure it's disruptive but why was the law introduced in the first place. That's getting into the laws of the game and I'm contradicting what I earlier said!

Well, that too would wouldn't have much of a place on a rugby pitch during a match!

Be pretty fun to bet on how long a player could last without it falling off though! Serious tekkers.

While backs shouldnt have beards equally forwards shouldnt die their hair blond or wear fancy boots.

That seems fair GG. Though I can't say I've ever seen a forward in knee-high boots. And a good thing too!

GunsGerms wrote:While backs shouldnt have beards equally forwards shouldnt die their hair blond or wear fancy boots.

Never a truer word spoken!

Have a look at this beaut from Richard Hibbard, Wales and Lions hooker - all sorts of wrong:

http://sport.uk.msn.com/rugby-union/lions-tour-2013/lions-2013-kitting-out-day?page=11

Why the fock does anyone give a sh1t?

If a guy can play like Brian O'Driscoll, I couldn't care less if he shaves his boll1x and hangs them out the front of his shorts. Beards? Long Hair? Backs? Forwards? Couldn't give a shyte.

As long as I don't have to grow a beard as well it's all good.

Griff wrote:Have a look at this beaut from Richard Hibbard, Wales and Lions hooker - all sorts of wrong:

http://sport.uk.msn.com/rugby-union/lions-tour-2013/lions-2013-kitting-out-day?page=11

If he could just throw in straight to the lineout he could throw on clown shoes for the full effect for all I care.

Yeah, I don't care about this at all. It really doesn't matter to me in any way.

I don't think a beard is manlier than a non-beard. Almost everyone can grow a beard, it's not some unique expression of hyper-masculinity. It's just facial hair.

Sorry had to comment despite leaving:

The legendary Norm Berryman is surely the exception to the no beard rule. Even when clean shaven pre-match, the guy had a full imam by half time.

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:It's a back's responsibility to look well presented to the ladies. Some differ greatly in their interpretation of well presented but they all became rugby players as boys for one thing. Even Neil Jenkins recognised this and pulled accordingly by remaining relatively clean shaven.

Absolutely, some clear thinking on this point.  

I suppose there must be a lot of forwards using 606v2 because it seems periodically I have to remind people about how backs should be attired, act, and obviously dress.  Backs do not have beards.  Backs bathe more than once per month.  Backs know the difference between good and proper wine and the £3 nonsense.  Backs do not wear scrum caps because why would someone want to go there?  All that odor and dirt and stuff.  Backs use a proper tailor and nothing off the rack.  Backs do not dye their hair, nor their skin.  Backs can wax rhapsodic about how lovely the weather was at Ascot.  All else has no place in Rugby.  

p.s. Not sure if Piri Weepu is really a back or forward.  He looks like he ate a few forwards in his time.
Or, at least he would have aplace here:  http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local/new_york&id=9161466

Suppose you're a back with a beautiful girlfriend who just loves a man with a beard?
Just saying!

optimist wrote:Suppose you're a back with a beautiful girlfriend who just loves a man with a beard?
Just saying!

I don't love a man with a beard, and doubt I ever will.  I always love a beautiful girlfriend, and it doen't matter whose girlfriend she is (soon to be was).

It's not just little beards - the point is that these days players are growing ridiculous caveman/Antarctic explorer style grizzly Adams beards, but often they don't suit their skinny half back frames. Are they trying to scare the opposition? 'Cos it's not working.

Anyway, 'tis just a bit of fun. Lighten up. Anyone would think that BOD had been dropped again...

Would he have been saved from the axe if he'd grown an intimidating beard?

Lighten up?  Are you mad?  There are important topics here.  How well one is coiffed, especially for backs, is huge!  If a back shows up with a beard, pluck it out one hair-by-one hair.  C'mon.  If a back elects a beer and it is, say Budweiser, 20 lashes.  This is serious and important stuff.  I bet you secretly want to discuss fat Gatland v. BOD some more.  Who cares?  It is all about the wine one selects!
Pinkie finger in the air please.

I think excessive use of paint on the field for sponsors logos should be reduced, especially red paint, sometimes I freak out when I see all this red on Dan Carter's face, only to realise it's not blood, phew!

Scrum halves. Euthanise the lot of them. The pitch will be a lot quieter without them and we forwards can also start fights with who we want rather than wasting energy trying to drag the opposition's Neanderthal off our SH.

I would ban players and coaches speaking to the press before a big game "vowing" to win/do their best/be up for the game etc etc etc ..........................Boring!!

Scarpia wrote:I would ban players and coaches speaking to the press before a big game "vowing" to win/do their best/be up for the game etc etc etc ..........................Boring!!

Good one. And when we are at it. Ban the usual bland platitudes eg we will treat them with the utmost respect, there are no easy games these days, they are the upcoming power in world/club rugby

InjuredYetAgain wrote:

Scarpia wrote:I would ban players and coaches speaking to the press before a big game "vowing" to win/do their best/be up for the game etc etc etc ..........................Boring!!

Good one. And when we are at it. Ban the usual bland platitudes eg we will treat them with the utmost respect, there are no easy games these days, they are the upcoming power in world/club rugby

Ah.  You are thereby banning ALL pre-match interviews.  Not a bad idea.

 I'm with Scarpia - How refreshing would it be for the captain of NZ for example to say before playing Australia - "In all honesty mate I think Aus are shoite at the moment, their captain is well past it, they have a few alcoholics in the back line and their coach is a complete naughty naughty boy - If we don't put 40 on them I'll be gutted and our fans will be disappointed"

Ruby,
If someone actually said something like that, it would be real funny. But we would all be pushing and shoving our way to the front of the queue to call the guy classless and an arse. Ah, heck mate. We can't win.

doctor_grey wrote:

InjuredYetAgain wrote:

Scarpia wrote:I would ban players and coaches speaking to the press before a big game "vowing" to win/do their best/be up for the game etc etc etc ..........................Boring!!

Good one. And when we are at it. Ban the usual bland platitudes eg we will treat them with the utmost respect, there are no easy games these days, they are the upcoming power in world/club rugby

Ah.  You are thereby banning ALL pre-match interviews.  Not a bad idea.

Post match interviews such as this one can stay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnTLPE13DO4

 

doctor_grey wrote:Ruby,
If someone actually said something like that, it would be real funny.  But we would all be pushing and shoving our way to the front of the queue to call the guy classless and an arse.  Ah, heck mate.  We can't win.

And that's why a certain Mr Freud suggests that on average we lie a few hundred times a day just so that society can maintain its psychological equiliberium - A great read is "Civilization and it's Discontents" - Freud 1929-30.

GloriousEmpire wrote:Sorry had to comment despite leaving:

The legendary Norm Berryman is surely the exception to the no beard rule. Even when clean shaven pre-match, the guy had a full imam by half time.

You haven't left if you're still reading Greyo. Good to see you still can't let go though.

doctor_grey wrote:

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:It's a back's responsibility to look well presented to the ladies. Some differ greatly in their interpretation of well presented but they all became rugby players as boys for one thing. Even Neil Jenkins recognised this and pulled accordingly by remaining relatively clean shaven.

Absolutely, some clear thinking on this point.  

I suppose there must be a lot of forwards using 606v2 because it seems periodically I have to remind people about how backs should be attired, act, and obviously dress.  Backs do not have beards.  Backs bathe more than once per month.  Backs know the difference between good and proper wine and the £3 nonsense.  Backs do not wear scrum caps because why would someone want to go there?  All that odor and dirt and stuff.  Backs use a proper tailor and nothing off the rack.  Backs do not dye their hair, nor their skin.  Backs can wax rhapsodic about how lovely the weather was at Ascot.  All else has no place in Rugby.  

...

You missed out the fundamental - backs do not want to get their kit dirty in case they get mistaken for a forward (for shame   ). For this reason, they will wash their kit after every match or training session just in case there is some splatter of dirt on a sock. Oh, and because backs are able to form relationships with members of the opposite sex, they do not feel the need to spend all Saturday afternoon embracing fellow hairy forwards...

Touchline reporters interviewing coaches mid game. " I don't want to answer inane questions, I'm trying to watch the game. We're 21-0 down ffs! "

Kia's one, two and three are all great.  I'd support him on all three.

The beards???

Hmmmmm.

Well, maybe Kia is just getting.......................... old....or 'on', as we say when we're trying to slide past 'old'.
Beards come, beards go.  This new century is already 13 years old - most of us are still wearing suits that wouldn't look out of place in a 50s movie when we're trying to be formal.  When we're toning down for a casual weekend, most of us still wear teeshirts and jeans that wouldn't look out of place in a 50s movie!

Now if you lived back in the 50s and thought you were wearing the very newest cut clothes, hairstyles etc; you'd feel that way because you could look back to 60 years before that, to the 1890s.  Yep, you'd say, they sure looked different then.  Big handlebar mustaches, hair parted in the middle and greased down hard onto the head.

Time moves and how quickly clean shaven guys would look grandfatherly dated if the majority of the 20somethings started going for the Gandalf look.

What I'd like to see the return of is men who just have hair on their head rather than dubious works of art.  I don't have to try too hard to get the tossled, unkempt look - just wake up and use lazy fingers for a comb.  Other guys spend big money at a salon to get the same "not int'rested" look.  That's the bit I get a laugh out of.  Mucho money being spent to create some of the 'delights' sitting on top of some heads.

I'm definitely getting on. Trends change as do fashions and styles. The haircuts of Beale and JOC, for example, are horrendous but they don't bother me Secret. You can have a mullet, dreads, long hair and I don't mind. After all that's practically all the NZ team!

I don't have a problem with beards either. AAC has a big beard but he's a big guy. My problem is with comparatively small framed backs who make themselves out to be bigger than what they really are by overgrowing their beards. Shipperley had an awful game on Saturday and I can't help but think it was because half the time he couldn't see what was going on as his overgrown Homebush Stadium beard kept getting in the way.

If you're a decent player, you can have a buzzcut, a mullet, no hair or all-over body hair. But name me a back that has an overgrown wizard beard and I'll name you a few pigs with wings. It's not a coincidence. Look like a walking case of malnutrition, play like that.

No place for beards in women's Rugby in my opinion.

This guy was the star 11 of the French team in the 1880s.....

http://francophilia.com/gazette/wp-content/uploads/toulouse_lautrec.jpg

Taffineastbourne wrote:No place for beards in women's Rugby in my opinion.

Very sexist, Taff "in all fairness" ...after all, men rugby players wear bras.

in the old days things were much more simpler... forwards looked like Richard Loe and Gareth Chilcott... backs looked like Andrew Merthens and Rob Andrew.

Then Jonah came around and this "girly" back broke the biggest and meanest forwards the game had to offer.... and the only person to successfully tackle him time and again was another delicate back... Joost.

Finally Warren raised his head with RL double agent Shaun Edwards and took the "universal soldier" approach to all positions. I wonder what the selection criteria for all positions in the WRFU are these days??

1. Are you above 190cm? Yes, go through to next question. No, thanks for your time.
2. Do you weigh over 100kg? Yes, go through to next question. No, thanks for your time.
3. Were you born in England, New Zealand, Pacific Islands? Yes, go through to next question. No, thanks for your time.
4. Congratulations, grab your kit on the way out.

fa0019 wrote:in the old days things were much more simpler... forwards looked like Richard Loe and Gareth Chilcott... backs looked like Andrew Merthens and Rob Andrew.

Then Jonah came around and this "girly" back broke the biggest and meanest forwards the game had to offer.... and the only person to successfully tackle him time and again was another delicate back... Joost.

Try telling that to Simon Goeghegan. Never missed a tackle on the Lomusarus.

fa0019 wrote:in the old days things were much more simpler... forwards looked like Richard Loe and Gareth Chilcott... backs looked like Andrew Merthens and Rob Andrew.

Then Jonah came around and this "girly" back broke the biggest and meanest forwards the game had to offer.... and the only person to successfully tackle him time and again was another delicate back... Joost.

Finally Warren raised his head with RL double agent Shaun Edwards and took the "universal soldier" approach to all positions. I wonder what the selection criteria for all positions in the WRFU are these days??

1. Are you above 190cm? Yes, go through to next question. No, thanks for your time.
2. Do you weigh over 100kg? Yes, go through to next question. No, thanks for your time.
3. Were you born in England, New Zealand, Pacific Islands? Yes, go through to next question. No, thanks for your time.
4. Congratulations, grab your kit on the way out.

So you've managed to turn a very amusing thread into another pathetic rant against Warren Gatland. Well done! By the way it's WRU, not WRFU. If you're going to have a go at someone/something at least be accurate.

Scarpia it was only a joke... hence the wink and the run.