Things that have no place in rugby

First topic message reminder :

Earlier today I made a rather cryptic thread commenting on something which I thought rugby could well do without: namely backs who feel the need to grow beards as if they were auditioning for a part in a shipwreck movie. You can get away with the Grizzly Adams look if you're a forward simply because you can get away with a lot of things when you're that size.

On Sunday night I watched the full Reds Ceusaders game. My understanding is that Crotty is growing his beard and won't shave it off until his good mate Fruean is back and recovered from heart surgery. I can make an exception for this much like hideous taches in Movember as it's selflessly minded. I don't profess to know the story of Dom Shipperley but if he doesn't have one he should be slapped silly by his team mates until he shaves that ridiculous beard off. I'm not saying a back can't have a beard but this don't come near me I'm crazy beard look is fooling nobody.

So apologies to those frustrated by my obtuseness but some of the comments did get me wondering. The wearing of skull caps, celebrating of tries, tattoos and long hair came up. So what do you think should be banned by the IRB? In no particular order and apart from Robinson Crusoe beards on backs or at least backline players here are things that need to go. I'm not interested in laws but I am in incidental things.

1. Halftime comments from a player with no interest in making one. Just leave them be. We know what they're thinking and we know they're not going to say what they're thinking.

2. Music to artificially generate atmosphere. This is a big gripe with NZ in particular. Fine at sevens but no Mexican trumpet at kick offs, no music after a try. Just let the game do the talking.

3. Video technology is all well and good when used properly. But often it is used needlessly and kills the continuity of the game. Sometimes it needs to be used and sometimes we all know the ref or linesmen saw what happened but just want to play it safe.

No doubt I will add to the list but that'll do for now. Get it off your chests. Don't hold back. It feels good!

SecretFly wrote:

Cyril wrote:Players stopping quick free-kicks/penalties by holding onto the ball or sneakily throwing/rolling it away.

This doesn't get punished enough (by penalties, being marched back 10 metres or a yellow card). I do think I remember Drew Mitchell getting a second yellow (and his marching orders) for doing it though, which is a pretty stupid way of earning an early bath!

If it became more harshly penalised, they'd have to seriously think about back-dating it through perhaps a century?  As some pretty big games have been won through the decades on the whim of a player who held onto a ball for enough miliseconds to make a swift counter-attack unviable.

Aye. If you wouldn't mind doing the research and have the report on my desk by 9.00am tomorrow. If you need any help prior to 1965 drop emack a line  

Oh, and I also meant the stopping of quick line-outs too. That's really annoying.

maestegmafia wrote:

It's the silly face pulling and ridiculous routine some players perform that enters room 101 for me..

Yeah, that's a big one for me...though strangely, it seldom gets the ridicule it deserves either in the general media or indeed here.

Some will say, if it gets results.... (Wilkinson, Farrell etc) then it can't be bad.  That argument though presumes the results wouldn't come without the 'showmanship' courting displays that precede them.  I think most of them at this point are designed signature tunes rather than necessary ticks and preps for a perfect kick.

I watched highlights of Quade Cooper at work recently.  And his Jesus-on-a-cross act looked very impressive but I still watched at least one of his shots go a mile wide.

For every minty python run up or silly face that has a reasonably accurate percentage, there those who are better who just kick it accurately, without the drama...!

maestegmafia wrote:For every minty python run up or silly face that has a reasonably accurate percentage, there those who are better who just kick it accurately, without the drama...!

Can you give some examples of silly run-ups/face pulling?

Speaking of kicking, what about the touch judges who look at each other under the posts. Did you see that? No, did you see that? I don't know, I was looking at you. I don't know I was looking at you...

The flags go up.

fa0019 wrote:One thing I never liked was the obvious copying of styles from other kickers.

Neil Jenkins copied Grant Fox action for action in the old days (albeit probably superceding the 'master' in terms of his effectiveness).

Elton Jantjies has taken JW's action to the extreme. It looks ridiculous.

This is a very good one. There are way too many JW wannabies. Be your own man and find a style that suits you. Unless its ridiculous like the Cooper Popeye routine, Keatleys slut drop or Rob Cooks banana split.

We have Hawkeye on the posts now for important GAA games (namely any game that is lucky enough to be held in Croke Park!)

But it is quick and painless for those "looking at me, looking at you" touch judge moments on kicks.

Good call on the place kicking OCD - I think at times it all becomes something of a psychological crutch, in that taking 4 steps back, 3 to the side, wiping the left boot on the back of the right sock twice and then squatting as though someone has nicked the lav worked well as preparation for one important kick so it has to be done for ever kick ever...

Seriously, all that matters in kicking a goal is how the ball is aligned, where your standing foot lands relative to the ball and how your kicking foot swings and makes contact - all I ever focussed on was the small area on the ball that I wanted to strike (about a 1 inch square) and swinging my leg through there on the desired line. A bit like golf, too many thoughts get in the way of effectiveness.

dummy_half wrote:
Seriously, all that matters in kicking a goal is how the ball is aligned, where your standing foot lands relative to the ball and how your kicking foot swings and makes contact - all I ever focussed on was the small area on the ball that I wanted to strike (about a 1 inch square) and swinging my leg through there on the desired line. A bit like golf, too many thoughts get in the way of effectiveness.

And your famous on-target kicking ratio proves the rest

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:I don't like the practice of tucking your mouthguard into your sock. Would you eat food out of a sock? Maybe at Christmas time but those ones haven't been worn and normally the food inside is either wrapped up or packaged.

I much prefer to have a mouthguard necklace where the plastic container can be brought out and the mouthguard hygienically stored away when not needed.

WHAT????????????
Hygienic? Why? We need the dirt to wash all that awful clean off us.

Mouthguard necklace? You must be the Uber-back or 'Alpha-back' based upon our descriptions of backs in the thread.

2. Music to artificially generate atmosphere. This is a big gripe with NZ in particular. Fine at sevens but no Mexican trumpet at kick offs, no music after a try. Just let the game do the talking.

This is a MASSIVE issue at Murrayfield. On a cold November Friday evening there's be about 20 of us in the stands having to cover our ears whilst they belt out some twaddle over the loud speakers. I find myself wondering for whose benefit?? Does the fact that Laidlaw has just kicked a penalty rendering the scoreline Edinburgh 3 - Opposition 78 really justify music??

funnyExiledScot wrote:

2. Music to artificially generate atmosphere. This is a big gripe with NZ in particular. Fine at sevens but no Mexican trumpet at kick offs, no music after a try. Just let the game do the talking.

This is a MASSIVE issue at Murrayfield. On a cold November Friday evening there's be about 20 of us in the stands having to cover our ears whilst they belt out some twaddle over the loud speakers. I find myself wondering for whose benefit?? Does the fact that Laidlaw has just kicked a penalty rendering the scoreline Edinburgh 3 - Opposition 78 really justify music??

I suppose this would be in bad taste???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCV0YXXyuHc

Blowing off in the scrum
A SA friend told me a story years ago about a uni game where the opponents hooker wouldn't stop farting (smelly ones to boot). It got so bad that the ref warned him about his behaviour. Despite this, the guy cracked another one off to which the ref awarded a penalty to the other team. That team's captain said to the ref that they would go for the posts but was bemused when the ref told him that you weren't allowed to try for the posts from that kind of penalty!

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:I don't like the practice of tucking your mouthguard into your sock. Would you eat food out of a sock? Maybe at Christmas time but those ones haven't been worn and normally the food inside is either wrapped up or packaged.

I much prefer to have a mouthguard necklace where the plastic container can be brought out and the mouthguard hygienically stored away when not needed.

 necklace ? in rugby?


That would be straight on this list

Thought I could control my anger, but no.....here come more...

necklace in rugby


Backs running blocking lines 200 m in front of the ball


Celebration before, during and after a try


Non rollers away waving their hands in the air while lying on the ball - move you fat arse


Squint scrum put ins


BBC Alba


waving an imaginary card at the ref


pink rugby strips


The inability of other fans to see what I see


Scotland as dark horses


Players being quoted as 'world class' after half a season


Man of the matches, which have obviously been chosen before the game to satisfy the public / broadcaster


Fakers


Build ups that focus on two players 'head to head to the death'


Watered down beer


Favourate teams getting the ref's blessing in every 50 / 50






Still got anger in me

 I still see much anger in you. Keep them coming. Did I mention I like to wear a friendship bracelet when kicking goals?

kiakahaaotearoa wrote: I still see much anger in you. Keep them coming. Did I mention I like to wear a friendship bracelet when kicking goals?

 Grrrrrr

Bracelets and necklace

Can not compute

kiakahaaotearoa wrote: I still see much anger in you. Keep them coming. Did I mention I like to wear a friendship bracelet when kicking goals?

and frilly pink undies?

"Things that have no place in rugby"

A lack of inclusivity.

A lack of in-clus-ivity

A lack of inclu-sivity.

Hmmm...

I'm having trouble with that one, Glas. Care to elaborate?

It's an Edwardian joke...

Oh that's okay..I was too young to go down with the Titanic so I never heard it.

Just think of the old comedian on the fast show.

Glas,
You have me on that one too.

Besides, when you say Edwardian, which Edward do you mean?
Edward I was a long time ago.  I will ask my dad.  I think he was alive then.

But to be serious for a moment, a lack of inclusivness doesn't belong in society, let alone Rugby.  I am biased, but I truly believe Rugby is ahead of the curve, and by a good margin.  Not perfect, mind, because that's impossible.  But pretty damn good.  And my opinion is that in Rugby when we spend so much time rucking, mauling, tackling, grabbing, havin' a pint or three, and basically winning or losing as an effing team culls out the worst of the lot.  Simply put, we can't be successful in the Rugby of today if one has a problem

Even here in an internet forum where not many of us have ever met and we can't read faces, I still think we come off pretty well.

Jokes are crap if you have to explain them.

What has no place in rugby? Excluding things.

Better?

Glas a du wrote:Jokes are crap if you have to explain them.

What has no place in rugby? Excluding things.

Better?

  It's like the old chestnut, "The one thing I can't stand is intolerance."

doctor_grey wrote:Glas,
You have me on that one too.

Besides, when you say Edwardian, which Edward do you mean?
Edward I was a long time ago.  I will ask my dad.  I think he was alive then.

But to be serious for a moment, a lack of inclusivness doesn't belong in society, let alone Rugby.  I am biased, but I truly believe Rugby is ahead of the curve, and by a good margin.  Not perfect, mind, because that's impossible.  But pretty damn good.  And my opinion is that in Rugby when we spend so much time rucking, mauling, tackling, grabbing, havin' a pint or three, and basically winning or losing as an effing team culls out the worst of the lot.  Simply put, we can't be successful in the Rugby of today if one has a problem

Even here in an internet forum where not many of us have ever met and we can't read faces, I still think we come off pretty well.

I'm puzzled doc. Were you King Edward in a previous life, and if so which one? Or was your name Edward and you changed it when you were growing up because the kids used to tease you mercilessly, in which case I don't want to hear about that. Brings up memories of changing my name from Octavian.

Scarpia wrote:

Glas a du wrote:Jokes are crap if you have to explain them.

What has no place in rugby? Excluding things.

Better?

   It's like the old chestnut, "The one thing I can't stand is intolerance."

Which Mike Meyers altered slightly in Gold member: All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:

doctor_grey wrote:Glas,
You have me on that one too.

Besides, when you say Edwardian, which Edward do you mean?
Edward I was a long time ago.  I will ask my dad.  I think he was alive then.

But to be serious for a moment, a lack of inclusivness doesn't belong in society, let alone Rugby.  I am biased, but I truly believe Rugby is ahead of the curve, and by a good margin.  Not perfect, mind, because that's impossible.  But pretty damn good.  And my opinion is that in Rugby when we spend so much time rucking, mauling, tackling, grabbing, havin' a pint or three, and basically winning or losing as an effing team culls out the worst of the lot.  Simply put, we can't be successful in the Rugby of today if one has a problem

Even here in an internet forum where not many of us have ever met and we can't read faces, I still think we come off pretty well.

I'm puzzled doc. Were you King Edward in a previous life, and if so which one? Or was your name Edward and you changed it when you were growing up because the kids used to tease you mercilessly, in which case I don't want to hear about that. Brings up memories of changing my name from Octavian.

Not royalty, Octavian.  Just a good solid English Bastardd (extra 'd' added because the web site editor doesn't like the 'clean' usage of Bar Steward).

Was planning to be reborn with the name George, but the little bu99er beat me to it.

How dare a common man address me so impertinently!

kiakahaaotearoa wrote:

Scarpia wrote:

Glas a du wrote:Jokes are crap if you have to explain them.

What has no place in rugby? Excluding things.

Better?

   It's like the old chestnut, "The one thing I can't stand is intolerance."

Which Mike Meyers altered slightly in Gold member: All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

 

He missed a chance of aping the Spannish Inquisition sketch there I think...

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

kiakahaaotearoa wrote: I still see much anger in you. Keep them coming. Did I mention I like to wear a friendship bracelet when kicking goals?

 Steady on, or else I'll call the Mods and have you removed!

Iain Henderson needs a beard he looks like a really overgrown 12 year old you don't know whether to be frightened or to ask him does he need a nap.
As for Humphreys I suspect he grew that to try and fool people at a quick glance he can't tackle so maybe he was trying to make people think hes a forward to stay away from him?
Nah I don't really care what they wear as long as they play well, I hate them stupid try celebrations though if i was a coach you would be spending time cleaning boots and on the bench after one of those.

Excessively large medical kits. You could perform heart replacements on the pitch nowadays if needs be.
Bring back the golden days. Yonks ago, when playing for the club's 3rds, I most untypically (not) arrived at a ruck late. I got there just as one of our guys wrestled the ball of the opposition but, unfortuantely, the momentum behind the effort he put in to winning the ball meant that his elbow came flying back at the speed of a tracer bullet and hit me flush in the Green Bay Packers. I went down like I had been shot. On trundles our committee man, cigarette hanging out his mouth. He had been paying NO attention to the game so asked me what had happened. Between painful gasps for air, I told him.
I was then inforned that the "medical kit" comprised ofr (a) Ralgex or (b) a wet sponge which had been sitting in cold water since the game had started. Despite the ache coming from my now swollen 'nads and the waves of nausea I was experiencing, I politely declined both and resumed play (although for the next 5/10 minutes, I was even further off the pace), feeling very sorry for myself.
Those were the days!!!

Kicking tees - use mud like the rest of us

any of the front five attempting to kick the ball
front five wearing bright coloured boots
no one (especially backs) doing stupid offloads thinking they are sonny bill.
players falling off easy tackles!
players shouting at the ref, its not football allow the captain and pack leader to speak to the ref.
backs thinking they are forwards and either trying to run through someone (and failing) or getting involved in a ruck or maul (I mean pish off)

welshy824 (new) wrote:any of the front five attempting to kick the ball
front five wearing bright coloured boots
no one (especially backs) doing stupid offloads thinking they are sonny bill.
players falling off easy tackles!
players shouting at the ref, its not football allow the captain and pack leader to speak to the ref.
backs thinking they are forwards and either trying to run through someone (and failing) or getting involved in a ruck or maul (I mean pish off)

You must have missed John Smit's grubber that Matfield scored from.

You must have missed Dunnings dropgoal

Never saw Etzebeth monster Bismarck du Plessis?

Never seen de Villiers play?

 

ok bilt, but apart from Saffers, who are basically all forwards anyway!!

It's happened for years. Emyr Lewis's grubber kick for Ieuan Evans to beat Rory (rabbit caught in headlights) Underwood and score a winning try.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQvBcPgq8q4

Pre-game rituals that mean one team have to stand still and show respect when they should be psyching themselves up.

Signing offensive songs like 'Flower of Scotland'

Sin binned players having a break, they should be made to jog on the spot for 10mins at the side of the pitch.

What about the rituals of standing underneath the posts during the game when they should be psyching themselves up?  

Red carpets.

Corporate sponsors getting to speak at the trophy presentation. Nobody knows who these people are and nobody cares. Get a spokesperson in for the company who has a personality and keeps the speech nice and short and up vibe. Not some octogenarian droning on forever sucking out the will to live among the crowd.

SH rule book.

Royals

Scrumpy wrote:SH rule book.

 Forward passes

Oh, you covered it

Players with long hair.

celebrating with your team mates  even before the penalty been converted