The Culture Cup round 6

First topic message reminder :

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I think I'll upset Jeff now and say that Blackberry Way is a better song than Waterloo Sunset.

Why would the fact you're a moron upset me?

As an aside though another Move song, Flowers in the Rain was the first song ever played on Radio One.

That could and should have been posted on me remarkably unpopular Music anecdotes thread....

Sean, if the thread had been called useless music trivia it almost certainly would have been. I have any number of such facts I could amaze you good people with.

Hit me.

Happily, the first Spice Girls Single not to go to Number 1 was Stop, it was kept off top spot by Run DMC vs Jason Nevins - It's Like That.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote: with some species using internal fertilization and others external fertilization

Don't mean to be disrespectful of arthropods but I'm equally adept at internal and external fertilisation.

Rowley wrote:geezer

Oh dear.

Anything to distract you from the insect talk.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:There are no know records of insects giving a f*ck about nuances of grammar.

Or typos either. IMHO they're a bit of a no-know.

Rowley wrote:Anything to distract you from the insect talk.

That is the second time I have seen you use it.

You mockney goon.

Am more than happy to reach a gentleman's agreement that I will stop using it straight away if you agree to stop the talk of insects.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Or typos either. IMHO they're a bit of a no-know

From memory the Old Green Grasshopper in James and the Giant Peach was quite educated and sophisticated...
(and the centipede was friendly too)

Rowley wrote:Am more than happy to reach a gentleman's agreement that I will stop using it straight away if you agree to stop the talk of insects.

Hardly a fair trade. I have to stop talking about something I have a passion for, you have to stop using a word that makes you look like a d*ck amongst your peers?

Heavily weighted in your favour, Jeffrey. I am doing you a favour.

I like fish. They're pretty calming if of the tropical / reef type. I once hooked a barracuda on magnetic island although my tackle was too lightweight to bring it in.

seanmichaels wrote:I like fish. They're pretty calming if of the tropical / reef type. I once hooked a barracuda on magnetic island although my tackle was too lightweight to bring it in.

Did you watch River Monsters last week? It was some huge fish with a massive, solid noggin that leaps into boats and knocks people out.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I like fish. They're pretty calming if of the tropical / reef type. I once hooked a barracuda on magnetic island although my tackle was too lightweight to bring it in.

Did you watch River Monsters last week?  It was some huge fish with a massive, solid noggin that leaps into boats and knocks people out.

Wingrove's sister, Edna, used to do that. She has a huge forehead and can hold her breath for over three minutes. There were a few surprised families renting pedal-boats on the Serpentine I can tell you.

Missed River Monsters. Only thing that has been on telly other than Breaking Bad since last week was winterwatch and Uni Challenge last night. Only got one right so probably wasn't worth it anyway.

Funnily enough I was thinking about a Giant Centipede vs Steve Irwin scenario on the way to work. I think Irwin would have its number.

seanmichaels wrote:Missed River Monsters. Only thing that has been on telly other than Breaking Bad since last week was winterwatch and Uni Challenge last night. Only got one right so probably wasn't worth it anyway.

Funnily enough I was thinking about a Giant Centipede vs Steve Irwin scenario on the way to work. I think Irwin would have its number.

Well of course he would.  If he were still alive, he could just stamp on it, hit it will a bat, set fire to it and many other ways of killing it.  That isn't the point.  As I said to Superfly, Wladimir Klitschko would kill Ricardo Lopez but no-one of sane mind would say big Wlad is the better boxer.

Centipedes are lethal in the context of their environment.  If I had the choice between a square go with a living Steve Irwin, or a man sized centipede, I would go for Irwin every time.  Sure, he would almost certainly duff me up, but I would have more of a chance than taking on a massive human sized centipede.

What would happen if Irwin was a leprechaun / pixie?

Would've been great to see a bust up between Irwin and Ray Mears if Mears was building a shelter and Irwin smashed it up chasing after some snake.

I think the obvious pick is Irwin but I think Mears is probably harder than he looks.

If he can get Irwin to the floor and use his greater bulk then I have a sneaky feeling Ray would take him.

The hardest one is the saffer, Austin Stevens. That bloke is f*cking mental.

How about a human-sized centipede vs a tiger?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I think the obvious pick is Irwin but I think Mears is probably harder than he looks.

If he can get Irwin to the floor and use his greater bulk then I have a sneaky feeling Ray would take him.

The hardest one is the saffer, Austin Stevens.  That bloke is f*cking mental.

I reckon Bill Oddie would be quite handy in a mentallist kind of way. Mears / Irwin / Stevens would have to kill him to stop him coming back for more.

Centipede. If a normal sized one can kill and eat snake, I think a human sized one would beat a tiger.

Tough exo-skeleton gives it enough protection against the tigers ferocious jaws whereas those venomous forcipules would puncture the tigers body with ease.

Tiger would probably cut it in half with a swipe of its paw and crush it with it's jaws, with centipede innards spurting out in all directions.

I can't be bothered with you today. You're clearly trying to wind me up rather than debate the merits of a fight between a tiger and a human sized centipede.

Stuff you, Julius. Have a reflection on your attitude overnight and if I see some improvement I will talk with you again.

That's simply an incentive not to improve my attitude.

That's what would have made "The Human Centipede" better. Put a tiger in the film.

Either that, or just not bother to make the film at all.

Sewing a live tiger to another person's rectum....not sure any film producer (of any repute he added hastily) would approve

Video killed the radio star.

Dave killed this thread.

I had to do a bit of work yesterday, wasn't particularly impressed. I'm contemplating a 3-piece variety meal today as a reward.

I had to do a bit of work yesterday, wasn't particularly impressed. I'm contemplating a visit to the canteen today as a reward.

Get yourself a kfc, Tino. They're all over.

That would mean walking somewhere which is not something I plan on doing today. I think there is gammon on the menu in the canteen today. That will do for me.

You won't make it to KFC. You'll get distracted by Wrap-it-Up and have a burrito again.

Galted wrote:I had to do a bit of work yesterday, wasn't particularly impressed.  I'm contemplating a 3-piece variety meal today as a reward.

I had a Mighty bucket from KFC for lunch yesterday. It was alright but I'm not a fan of the bones. Next time i decide to treat myself i'll be back on the boneless banquet.

my local KFC is the antithesis of fast food. If the food wasnt so bad at this specific one i would guess that from order to eating they had to catch kill and marinade the chicken from scratch.

And it smells...

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:I had to do a bit of work yesterday, wasn't particularly impressed.  I'm contemplating a 3-piece variety meal today as a reward.

I had a Mighty bucket from KFC for lunch yesterday. It was alright but I'm not a fan of the bones. Next time i decide to treat myself i'll be back on the boneless banquet.

Otherwise known as a lesbian orgy.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

You won't make it to KFC.  You'll get distracted by Wrap-it-Up and have a burrito again.

There's a very good chance that you're correct.  It's impossible not to pass the Wrap-It-Up unless you take a route that's about 3 times the distance which drastically increases the chances of a banker landing on your head.

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Galted wrote:I had to do a bit of work yesterday, wasn't particularly impressed.  I'm contemplating a 3-piece variety meal today as a reward.

I had a Mighty bucket from KFC for lunch yesterday. It was alright but I'm not a fan of the bones. Next time i decide to treat myself i'll be back on the boneless banquet.

Otherwise known as a lesbian orgy.  

  

F*ck it, that deserves another one.

  

Superfly, you periodically make me laugh, and that was certainly once such occasion.

superflyweight wrote:
Otherwise known as a lesbian orgy.  

My neighbours (feminists) had girly friends over on Saturday. Had a few glances over the fence to see what was going but nothing. All I got was a bit of muffled giggling through the walls.

seanmichaels wrote:muffled giggling.

Not as good as a giggling muff.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:muffled giggling.

Not as good as a giggling muff.

Michaels is a wordsmith of the highest order.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:muffled giggling.

Not as good as a giggling muff.

The one who has always lived there (with 2 kids) is relatively tidy, as is her daughter (Uni now). Sort of an older Anne Heche.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:muffled giggling.

Not as good as a giggling muff.

Michaels is a wordsmith of the highest order.

Whereas I am a swordsman of the highest order.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:muffled giggling.

Not as good as a giggling muff.

Michaels is a wordsmith of the highest order.

Thank you for the praise good sir. Did you know the poet Robert Burns wrote a ditty called 'C0ck up your beaver'?

I would like to propose that, in Ingerland, Burns Night is replaced with Michaels Weekend.

Galted wrote:I would like to propose that, in Ingerland, Burns Night is replaced with Michaels Weekend.

You wish to see the return of Lynch Mobs?

3-piece variety meal from KFC, minus the chips.

enjoyment: 3.5/5 - would have been 4 but the bones (chicken) now put me off thanks to michaels
health: 1.5/5 - would have been a 1 but I got a water with it (where the French have Perrier and Evian, the Brits have Drench, does exactly what it says on the bottle)
price: 2/5 - a bit hefty at £5.99, Rowley could have a months worth of Yorkshire puddings and bottle of Radox for that
overall: 47%

Verdict: wish I'd got a delicious chicken burrito (large) from Wrap-It-Up instead

Ham Salad Sarnie again. Am busting for something unhealthy and actually tasty. However am playing poker Friday night so suspect a kebab may be in order.

Am in that London tomorrow though so can enjoy some of this ridiculously over priced food you all seem so keen on.

Gammon steak in the canteen. New potatoes and broccoli. Apple crumble for dessert. Quite nice actually.

What are you doing down here, Jeff? Watch out for cars. Also, they have zebra crossings with lights. Pretty confusing stuff.

Meeting a client, he has threatened to provide lunch though so ridiculously over priced food may not be an option. Intend to spend the rest of the day getting lost on the tube and complaining about how busy it is.

Rowley wrote:Meeting a client, he has threatened to provide lunch though so ridiculously over priced food may not be an option. Intend to spend the rest of the day getting lost on the tube and complaining about how busy it is.

If you see a man who looks like he is going on safari, that is almost certainly Galted.

If you see an exceptionally handsome man who may or may not look like he works in B&Q, that will be me.

If you see a massive, seething, wallowing blob of humanity, that will definitely be TopHat.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
If you see a massive, seething, wallowing blob of humanity, that will definitely be TopHat.

Have already made a mental note to avoid any fat people who are berating/snearing at beggars, but cheers for the tip. When it comes to avoiding ever meeting top hat you really cannot be too careful.

There's a chap that gets on the train in Linlithgow every morning wearing a top hat. I always ensure that I aoid eye contact with him even though I know it can't be Top Hat because (a) I know that Toppy lives in London and not a small Scottish town, and (b) the guy appears to weight less than 27 stone.

If you see an old guy wiping dribble from his chin looking aimlessly for crumbs of comfort in a heartless world, that will be me, which means either you're not in London, or else I'm in London but haven't realised it.