How to solve a problem like Suarez?

by Kurt N. Jurqa Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:58 am

First topic message reminder :

Suarez for the third time in his career bit another footballer during a match.
The first for Ajax in 2010 when he bit a PSV player (Bakkal) on the shoulder and received a 7 game ban.
The second for Liverpool v Chelsea in 2013 on Ivanovic for which he received a 10 game ban.
And now on the grandest stage of all he's sunk his fangs into Chiellini.

What though should his punishment be?

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:20 am

Scrumpy wrote:That wasn't a headbutt!

Not in a "Glasgow on any given night of the week" sense it wasn't but that's not the point. You don't shove you're head into another player's face. Pardew found that out

by Scrumpy Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:21 am

Big BIG ban coming for Suarez.

Laugh

by CFCNick Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:21 am

To be fair to Pepe, what would you do if a little sh!te like Muller was trying to con the ref against you, you personally, not just your team.

I'd probably kick him, less effort, bigger impact.

by Scrumpy Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:22 am

To be honest the one person I feel sorry for is Brendon Rogers, he worked wonders with him last season.

by dummy_half Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:24 am

Third time for the same offence, and something which I've never heard of other players doing (I'm sure there have been isolated cases). Time for FIFA to show some backbone and:
1 - Suspend Suarez from all football for a year
2 - Allow (indeed, encourage) Chiellini to press criminal charges for assault. While some of what happens on the pitch can be excused as being part of the game (for example a mis-timed tackle or hitting an opponent with a swinging arm), biting opposing players is way outside this.

FIFA need to take a leaf out of the rugby authority's book, as the IRB have the power to ban players for anything up to life. For something fairly heinous in rugby (eye gouging for example), severe cases are judged against a suspension of between 6 and 24 months, dependent on severity and on the offender's past record (something that would be seriously held against Suarez).

The only good thing is that it doesn't seem that biting is endemic to pro football, just something Suarez has a problem with.

by Soldier_Of_Fortune Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:24 am

He fell into his shoulder!!!!!

Am not sure what all the fuss is about!!

by TRUSSMAN66 Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:28 am

Maybe It's Suarez way of coming out of the closet...

by Geordie Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:29 am

The sad thing is that many of these brilliant players have a side to them.

Cantona had it, maradona had it etc

But you cant let that cover what he did and has done previously. He must face a big ban.

by Scrumpy Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:29 am

Maybe Chiellini shoulder was covered in dulce de leche?

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:34 am

Refs should have two cans...one for marking the position for the wall and a can of Mace just in case Suarez gets out of line

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:35 am

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Maybe It's Suarez way of coming out of the closet...

Er, sounds like it's YOUR way of coming out of the closet

by Scrumpy Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:39 am

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Maybe It's Suarez way of coming out of the closet...

Might be on to something there.

He must have some troubles going on in his head or personal life.

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:43 am

I just hope someone bites the f***er back!! That's what my brother did with his kids when they bit him.

Throw in a ban from international football and a small domestic ban.

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:44 am

Scrumpy wrote:
TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Maybe It's Suarez way of coming out of the closet...

Might be on to something there.

He must have some troubles going on in his head or personal life.

You should be biting six people a day if that's the case

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:49 am

..a muzzle? It works for most dangerous breeds.

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:54 am

SecretFly wrote:..a muzzle? It works for most dangerous breeds.

How to solve a problem like Suarez? - Page 2 Article-2668058-1F1891C300000578-184_306x423

by Scrumpy Wed 25 Jun 2014, 11:54 am

I find it amazing and rather amusing Laugh

that some Muppets still try and defend the little twit.

I hope he isn't just banned from all future World Cup games but a long ban from Club football too.

The sport doesn't need this kind of scum earning a good living off it.

by westisbest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 12:13 pm

To me I'm more pist off with Muellar's actions than what Suarez did. (the actual bite). Watching it, I was more discusted with his actions after, falling to the ground, as if he was the victim.

I dont condone the bite, and he should face a heavy punishment, but cant stand the play acting.

Time to thow bans for that to.

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 12:16 pm

Scrumpy wrote:I find it amazing and rather amusing that some Muppets still try and defend the little twit.

I hope he isn't just banned from all future World Cup games but a long ban from Club football too.

The sport doesn't need this kind of scum earning a good living off it.

didn't you mean eating a good living??

Anyway, I tend to agree. He's had his three chances and something in him just can't learn the trick -

One: he keeps doing it as though it shouldn't be considered a big deal. It is - it's infectious potential and street-land cheap. You don't make the rules Suarez.
Two: And to my mind even more important - he doesn't even seem to want to actually try to disguise it. It's always so blatant, a camera will always pick it up and that in itself suggests he doesn't care. He thinks the world is making a big deal about a legitimate part of his 'competitive' gameplay.

by **Good Golly I'm Olly** Wed 25 Jun 2014, 1:16 pm

Send him to a mental institute, the bloke clearly has serious issues

by The Fourth Lion Wed 25 Jun 2014, 1:21 pm

LUIS SUAREZ DEMANDS A FRESHER OPPONENT FOR THE NEXT ROUND

Luis Suarez emerged from a heavy flossing session in the Uruguay changing room last night, where he'd spent more than half an hour trying to remove bits of Italian from his teeth, to declare that he wanted a much "fresher" opponent to chew on in the next round.

He told reporters "I much prefer defenders to be juicy and succulent but this Italian was like chewing on an old football boot. He was so tough it tasted like he'd been left out in the sun for several days."

"If I play in the Colombia match, I hope there will be something much fresher on offer to take a chunk out of."

When the question of a possible ban was put to him he replied; "This competition is FIFA's Flagship event and they naturally want their best cannib.... sorry, players to be involved in all the matches. They would not dare to ban me. Don't you know who I am..?"

by skyeman Wed 25 Jun 2014, 1:40 pm

If he does not get a ban and meets the Germans. This one made me laugh.

"He could try a shoulder of Lahm"

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 1:45 pm

The Fourth Lion wrote:LUIS SUAREZ DEMANDS A FRESHER OPPONENT FOR THE NEXT ROUND

Luis Suarez emerged from a heavy flossing session in the Uruguay changing room last night, where he'd spent more than half an hour trying to remove bits of Italian from his teeth, to declare that he wanted a much "fresher" opponent to chew on in the next round.

He told reporters "I much prefer defenders to be juicy and succulent but this Italian was like chewing on an old football boot. He was so tough it tasted like he'd been left out in the sun for several days."

"If I play in the Colombia match, I hope there will be something much fresher on offer to take a chunk out of."

When the question of a possible ban was put to him he replied; "This competition is FIFA's Flagship event and they naturally want their best cannib.... sorry, players to be involved in all the matches. They would not dare to ban me. Don't you know who I am..?"

He elaborated further when the burp that was coming came: "Why ezz it always me, huh? Am I the only cannib........... sorry,I mean ambeetious player in deese competition? I say NO, I am innocent. Blatter? He no cannib................ sorry, I mean he no bite out of blank chequebooks and Arabics Princes and Shieks? - No? You kidders me? He f**kin's Hannibal Lector. No ban for heem."

by TRUSSMAN66 Wed 25 Jun 2014, 1:52 pm

A census taker once tried to test Suarez once.......

raspberry

sssssssssssssssssss raspberry

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 1:57 pm

skyeman wrote:If he does not get a ban and meets the Germans. This one made me laugh.

"He could try a shoulder of Lahm"

Shame Ronaldo and his lot were rubbish...Suarez could have feasted on the PORK-tugese

by TRUSSMAN66 Wed 25 Jun 2014, 2:01 pm

Seriously though terrible timing for Suarez.....

A number of embarrassing corruption programs and investigations into FIFA at the moment....This will give them the chance to be seen to be doing the right thing...

Suarez is toast with a nice chianti..

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 2:05 pm

Well, he might have had Brazil Nuts to chew on down the road too had he resisted the urge to dine out on Pizza. Although excuses for having teeth stuck in those would have to be more creative than even Suarez gets.

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 2:10 pm

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Seriously though terrible timing for Suarez.....

A number of embarrassing corruption programs and investigations into FIFA at the moment....This will give them the chance to be seen to be doing the right thing...

Suarez is toast with a nice chianti..

The conspiracy theorists will be out in force suggesting Blatter and his cronies have paid Suarez a fortune to bite another player to help gloss over the their own recent troubles. Sepp must think he's won the lottery.....again. How much luck can one old b*st*rd have?

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 2:18 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Seriously though terrible timing for Suarez.....

A number of embarrassing corruption programs and investigations into FIFA at the moment....This will give them the chance to be seen to be doing the right thing...

Suarez is toast with a nice chianti..
The conspiracy theorists will be out in force suggesting Blatter and his cronies have paid Suarez a fortune to bite another player to help gloss over the their own recent troubles. Sepp must think he's won the lottery.....again. How much luck can one old b*st*rd have?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................................................................................

by jbeadlesbigrighthand Wed 25 Jun 2014, 2:58 pm

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Seriously though terrible timing for Suarez.....

A number of embarrassing corruption programs and investigations into FIFA at the moment....This will give them the chance to be seen to be doing the right thing...

Suarez is toast with a nice chianti..

I don't think so. I think it gives Blatter another chance to play the racism card, pointing out how the British media are going after him out of jealousy. Plus, it gets him in more with the smaller nations, and will only annoy Europe, who won't support him anyway.

by Guest Wed 25 Jun 2014, 3:06 pm

jbeadlesbigrighthand wrote:
TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Seriously though terrible timing for Suarez.....

A number of embarrassing corruption programs and investigations into FIFA at the moment....This will give them the chance to be seen to be doing the right thing...

Suarez is toast with a nice chianti..

I don't think so. I think it gives Blatter another chance to play the racism card, pointing out how the British media are going after him out of jealousy. Plus, it gets him in more with the smaller nations, and will only annoy Europe, who won't support him anyway.

What do the rest of the World think about it? Are they as appalled as the British media or do they think it's a bit of a mountain/molehill situation? You'd think Blatter would go with the general consensus but this doddery old **** never fails to amaze/irritate me.

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 3:15 pm

Was Blatter ever done by The Simpsons? He should be. But then again, he'd probably look like and talk like this guy:

How to solve a problem like Suarez? - Page 2 9k=

How to solve a problem like Suarez? - Page 2 9k=

..which means yes, Blatter has been done by Simpsons

by The Special Juan Wed 25 Jun 2014, 3:22 pm

"You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype".

by The Fourth Lion Wed 25 Jun 2014, 4:27 pm

skyeman wrote:If he does not get a ban and meets the Germans. This one made me laugh.

"He could try a shoulder of Lahm"

Sounds to me like it's time to play the silly "Name a footballer that Luis Suarez might want to eat" game.

What a pity Baccary Lasagne isn't playing, or perhaps Emmanuel Petit Pois. England goalkeeper Peter Stilton may also have been to his taste, or even Aaron Lemon.......................

How to solve a problem like Suarez? - Page 2 Graham_chapman_stop_that_silly

How to solve a problem like Suarez? - Page 2 Graham_chapman_stop_that_silly

Ok, ok... I'll stop now

by skyeman Wed 25 Jun 2014, 4:29 pm

The Fourth Lion wrote:
skyeman wrote:If he does not get a ban and meets the Germans. This one made me laugh.

"He could try a shoulder of Lahm"

Sounds to me like it's time to play the silly "Name a footballer that Luis Suarez might want to eat" game.

What a pity Baccary Lasagne isn't playing, or perhaps Emmanuel Petit Pois. England goalkeeper Peter Stilton may also have been to his taste, or even Aaron Lemon.......................

Ok, ok... I'll stop now

Don't make a meal out of it.

by Duty281 Wed 25 Jun 2014, 4:55 pm

Suarez would love to take a taste of Stefan Kuntz...I'm sure!

by skyeman Wed 25 Jun 2014, 4:59 pm

It should be taken into consideration but it is not in sport.

If anyone head butts, punches or in this case bites someone in a public place, if caught you would be taken to court.

And if you did such a thing three times, the judge would throw the book at you. He deserves a heavy, heavy hand.

by skyeman Wed 25 Jun 2014, 5:00 pm

Duty281 wrote:Suarez would love to take a taste of Stefan Kuntz...I'm sure!

by The Special Juan Wed 25 Jun 2014, 5:05 pm

Apparently Liverpool fans are saying the marks are actually scars from an old injury...

by jbeadlesbigrighthand Wed 25 Jun 2014, 5:06 pm

Duty281 wrote:Suarez would love to take a taste of Stefan Kuntz...I'm sure!

Although David Seaman might leave a nasty taste in his mouth...

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 5:06 pm

skyeman wrote: He deserves a heavy, heavy hand.

Didn't he try that already and you all got mad about him for that bite too?? The lad, he can't do no right with the lot of you.

by skyeman Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:40 pm

SecretFly wrote:
skyeman wrote: He deserves a heavy, heavy hand.

Didn't he try that already and you all got mad about him for that bite too?? The lad, he can't do no right with the lot of you.

He is a cheat, a cannibal, a racist and a cry baby. But he can score a hell of a goal!!

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:49 pm

skyeman wrote:
SecretFly wrote:
skyeman wrote: He deserves a heavy, heavy hand.

Didn't he try that already and you all got mad about him for that bite too?? The lad, he can't do no right with the lot of you.

He is a cheat, a cannibal, a racist and a cry baby. But he can score a hell of a goal!!

That's some résumé when you think about it. If he gets kicked out of football for two years he can certainly go to job interviews with a good degree of faith in his wide variety of skills.

"Mr, Suarez.... it says here you are a professional sports person, a skilled goalscorer, a cheat, a cannibal, a racist and a cry baby. I think we should be able to find you something to suit at least one of those talents."

by Fernando Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:52 pm

LUIS SUAREZ'S lawyer believes there is a European campaign against the Liverpool striker after being accused of biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini during Uruguay's 1-0 win at the World Cup.

"We don't have any doubts that this has happened because it's Suarez and secondly because Italy was eliminated," said Uruguay FA board member Alejandro Balbi, who is also Suarez's lawyer.

I mean really how stupid do you have to be to try and defend someone who's done it for the 3rd time

by Hammersmith harrier Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:57 pm

Ban him for life which would result in Liverpool taking him to court for compensation, destroy his career for all I care, should have had the book thrown at him for the Evra incident let alone all this biting crap.

by CFCNick Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:58 pm

Well, there was an Argentian guy on Baker and Kelly earlier who didn't understand the fuss.

by CFCNick Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:59 pm

This is too good to be true. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/soccer-dirty-tackle/uruguay-fa-claim-luis-suarez-bite-pictures-were--photoshopped--171211241.html

Prompting the writer of that post to add this video afterwards

Spoiler:

by CFCNick Wed 25 Jun 2014, 8:11 pm

Animated version of Suarez https://youtu.be/qZ2O-782zio

by SecretFly Wed 25 Jun 2014, 8:15 pm

If Suarez's teeth Didn't make contact with Chielinni's shoulder, if it was all photoshopped, then why did Suarez sit on the ground and make a big deal about self examining his teeth? That act suggests the teeth were in action either innocently or less innocently.

If Suarez admits his teeth had health issues in the immediate after-seconds of the incident then he also has to admit his teeth probably made contact with Chielinni's shoulder. Why then would a photoshop be needed? Suarez's very actions after the incident presumes his teeth were somewhere they shouldn't have been.

by Fernando Wed 25 Jun 2014, 8:23 pm

Please tell me that isn't a serious question SF. Watch the incident again and you will see why Smile

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What punishment should Suarez face