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The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Post by Union Cane Mon 23 Mar 2015, 2:01 pm

First topic message reminder :

Rowley wrote:Got about 15 films for less than 40 quid so thought if I only like half of them it represents decent value. Unfortunately N by NW is not one of them, which is a pity as I have seen that and enjoyed it

Does it include that one with the birds, I forget what it is called.
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Post by Union Cane Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:53 am

There's a dead bishop on the landing.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:56 am

Union Cane wrote:There's a dead bishop on the landing.

Apologies in advance to the MODS but Cane is clearly the biggest f*cking c*nt this site has ever encountered (and I'll go so far as to include myself on that list) Never in all my days have I read such a monumentally stupid f*cking thing and I'll point out that I was here when Dave was in full flow.

I will occasionally call for a poster to be banned based on their previous stupidity and their habit of ruining the forum with their nationalistic nonsense or generally just being a tw*t but I'm going one further and asking that Cane be treated like a member of the old Soviet Polit bureau and removed from history entirely.

I will NOT stand for comments like the one he's just made above

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Post by Union Cane Tue 31 Mar 2015, 10:57 am

You not seen Python, sean?
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:00 am

Oh FFS. In joke?

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Post by Union Cane Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:03 am

Probably not, they are all a bit young round here.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/bishop.php


Last edited by Union Cane on Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:16 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Apart from Jules, of course.)
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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:09 am

This is a local forum for local people, there's nothing for you here!

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Post by Pal Joey Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:15 am

Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:17 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

Open top bus parades in Oz or taking it in their stride?

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Post by Pal Joey Tue 31 Mar 2015, 11:23 am

seanmichaels wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

Open top bus parades in Oz or taking it in their stride?

No, the euphoria wore off pretty quickly here. Life must go on... and such.
It was a bit embarrassing really. I'm off sport.
I'm sick of all the constant celebrations, booze, drugs, confetti & scantily clad women.
It really can get tiring. I need to try and pace myself more... and see if I can't escape it for a few hours a day, at least.
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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 12:14 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

Open top bus parades in Oz or taking it in their stride?

No, the euphoria wore off pretty quickly here. Life must go on... and such.
It was a bit embarrassing really. I'm off sport.
I'm sick of all the constant celebrations, booze, drugs, confetti & scantily clad women.
It really can get tiring. I need to try and pace myself more... and see if I can't escape it for a few hours a day, at least.
WHAT!???!!?!?!

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 12:49 pm

Sh*t on here.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 12:55 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 12:59 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at LEGOLAND, I'd killed a bottle of wine and she wanted nothing more to do me after some ill advised paedo quips.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:00 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by Union Cane Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:04 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Not much, just drinking Oranjeboom and I will probably do a sex on Sonia from Eastenders again.
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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:06 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all.  It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help.  No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet.  I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:06 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all.  It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help.  No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet.  I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

Probably trying to lose Dave....

Couple of days at the cricket club, bit of rolling and cutting, then off to the old man's I think. Nothing special. Could do with a longer break in all honesty.

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:07 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all.  It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help.  No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet.  I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

Probably trying to lose Dave....

Couple of days at the cricket club, bit of rolling and cutting, then off to the old man's I think. Nothing special. Could do with a longer break in all honesty.

Good luck with that Seany baby

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:11 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all.  It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help.  No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet.  I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

Thanks, daddy day care.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:25 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all.  It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help.  No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet.  I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

Thanks, daddy day care.
You're welcome, unless you're being clever in which case I hope you get punched in the face and hospitalized.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:28 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all.  It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help.  No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet.  I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

Thanks, daddy day care.
You're welcome, unless you're being clever in which case I hope you get punched in the face and hospitalized.

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:30 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Mind the windows Tino.
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Posts : 19508
Join date : 2011-05-13
Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:35 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

Mind the windows Tino.
Beano
Beano

Posts : 19508
Join date : 2011-05-13
Location : Outside there's a box car waiting, outside the family stew. Out by the fire breathing, outside we wait till face turns blue. I know the nervous walking, I know the dirty beard hangs. Out by the box car waiting, take me away to nowhere plans. There is a wait so long (so long, so long). You'll never wait so long. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius. Here comes Julius.

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:36 pm

Laugh

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:40 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?
Whatever he tells them?

Guest
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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:46 pm

Jeremy Kyle currently interviewing a blind man being investigated for fraud after he took part in 10 hours darts marathon.

The best bit is where they're talking about how he threw 180. Like f*ck he did!!!! After eight hours everyone decided to come up with the idea of telling him he'd thrown 180 for a p!ss take...how's the blind fella gonna know if they're telling the truth?

Me? I'd also have had people screaming "Ouch, my foot you b*st*rd!!!!" every so often, but then I see the humour in all situations...except Froch and his wife-to-be...THAT is not funny

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:48 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

laughing

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year

ShahenshahG

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:53 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

laughing

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Guest
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 1:59 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

laughing

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Sandals aren't conducive to kicking

ShahenshahG

Posts : 15725
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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 2:25 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

laughing

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Sandals aren't conducive to kicking
Not to be taken literally...she goes down the stairs first and you shove her with your foot (booted, sandeled or otherwise)

Guest
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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 2:26 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?  

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

laughing

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Sandals aren't conducive to kicking
Not to be taken literally...she goes down the stairs first and you shove her with your foot (booted, sandeled or otherwise)

I was calling my wife a sandal

ShahenshahG

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Post by JuliusHMarx Tue 31 Mar 2015, 2:35 pm

Sandalous.

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Post by Hibbz Tue 31 Mar 2015, 2:44 pm

Did she flip flop all the way downstairs?

It's all going off on the cricket board. Someone's taken offence to the term minnow being used to describe sh!te cricket teams and is threatening to take their bat and go home.

https://www.606v2.com/t58295p200-2015-world-cup-finals

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:04 pm

Hibbz wrote:Did she flip flop all the way downstairs?

It's all going off on the cricket board. Someone's taken offence to the term minnow being used to describe sh!te cricket teams and is threatening to take their bat and go home.

https://www.606v2.com/t58295p200-2015-world-cup-finals

She wouldn't do that, she's a clever clogs

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:06 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Hibbz wrote:Did she flip flop all the way downstairs?

It's all going off on the cricket board. Someone's taken offence to the term minnow being used to describe sh!te cricket teams and is threatening to take their bat and go home.

https://www.606v2.com/t58295p200-2015-world-cup-finals

She wouldn't do that, she's a clever clogs
Bad form to kick a loved one down the stairs Shah, probably something in one of those religious texts about it but I'd never mock a sin!

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:12 pm

Laugh

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

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Post by Hibbz Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:13 pm

I bet Sean would slip her a length.

Gospel.

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:17 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Laugh

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?
I can't believe you need this explaining to you but here goes....






















I'm a breast man

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:20 pm

This forum is turning into a Funny Farm Mental Health Recovery Centre.

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:32 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Laugh

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I found a cheap and effective form of male contraception.

Put a stone in your shoe.









Makes you limp.


drumroll

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:34 pm

I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:43 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Laugh

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I found a cheap and effective form of male contraception.

Put a stone in your shoe.









Makes you limp.


drumroll

An angry son?

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:44 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:Laugh

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I found a cheap and effective form of male contraception.

Put a stone in your shoe.









Makes you limp.


drumroll

An angry son?
My wife just points at it and laughs nastily....tends to do the trick

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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:45 pm

DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

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Post by ShahenshahG Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:47 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

laughing

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Post by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:47 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
My wife just points at it and laughs nastily....tends to do the trick

If it's any consolation Dave, your wife does the same to mine.

Mind the windows Tino.
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Post by seanmichaels Tue 31 Mar 2015, 3:59 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

laughing

I genuinely thought he was being serious. typed out a long scathing comeback then realised it was an anonymous internet forum full of geeks like Cane.

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 4:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
My wife just points at it and laughs nastily....tends to do the trick

If it's any consolation Dave, your wife does the same to mine.
I know, the photos she took of it were hilarious...still, guys like us are always going to struggle when there are real men like Sean around

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Post by Guest Tue 31 Mar 2015, 4:33 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

laughing

I genuinely thought he was being serious. typed out a long scathing comeback then realised it was an anonymous internet forum full of geeks like Cane.
Think I've nailed it....that's what Sean says to his mates when he sees a woman whose name he doesn't know/can't remember

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