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13th Press Conference (Week 11 matches)

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Fri 8 Feb 2019 - 11:24

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?

2. Who is going to win the league?

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?


Last edited by Dolphin Ziggler on Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 3:55; edited 1 time in total

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Post by BamBam Fri 8 Feb 2019 - 11:31

Hug

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Post by Dolphin Ziggler Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 11:09

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?
It will be a bit sad if it isn’t Bury, though Lincoln are unsure of that.

2. Who is going to win the league?
Twists and turns ahead, I think it will also be Bury.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?
No, I expect resignations 

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?
Manchester United. I want Ole to become king of the world

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?
Blister, I get constant blisters 

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?
Paolo’s volley, the greatest goal in premier league history

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?
Every time I feel this way, more and more increasingly lately, injuries or bargains change things 

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?
Matty Turner, goalkeeping extraordinaire 

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?
What’s wrong with Kenny Miller’s face?

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?
Davro and Son’s Legal Eagles

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Post by Azzy Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 11:43

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?
Me. I mean, I don't care who wins and who loses. I'm here to watch FIFA and chew gum. And Hero's not streaming on Twitch right now.

2. Who is going to win the league?
No idea, I haven't looked at the table in weeks.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?
Yes. You're talking to a guy who's now known as Captain Barnacles at work, after his latest TV appearance Rolling Eyes

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?
Accrington Stanley. No longer would people ask who they are. They'd be fearsome patriots, the sword of Brexit, and would also shove it up Liverpool's gussets.

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?
I wouldn't. I'd love to give boxing a go, and if I got beat up badly, I'd get time off work. Win-win.

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?
Quite possibly the best question in any press conference in history!

I'd score Dennis Bergkamp's goal against Newcastle - the one where Bobby P plays the ball back to him in a 1-2, and with his back to goal he knocks it round Dabizas with the outside of his foot, rolls round him the opposite way, then side-foots it past the keeper.

Then I'd give that goal the celebration it deserved, kecks off, donger dangling, whip the corner flag with it. I've never seen a better demonstration of technique, and Bergy basically celebrated like he'd found some reduced Toulouse sausages in Sainsburys.

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?
I can't sell anyone through Lawyers as my players have either gone up in TM value, or they're worth too little to get good value via replacement. So unless anyone wants to domesticate me, I'm stuck with my current 25.

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?
I jest not, Stefan Ishizaki has been lights out the best player in the league since I bought him.

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?
"Mr Azzy, can you demonstrate how you'd storm out of a press conference for us?"

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?
Duey, Cheatum & Howe.

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Post by Marky Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 12:06

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?
Macclesfield, although that's less to do with Hero and more to do with the hand he was dealt. Hopefully it's MK Dons though.

2. Who is going to win the league?
I reckon Mansfield. Rof is top tier when it comes to pretend football management, and they're right up there.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?
Maybe falling out of a ground floor window, in front of all your peers, trouserless.

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?
Man City, partly for Pep, partly for the butthurt from Man U and Liverpool fans

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?
Definitely a migraine. Far too big a risk.

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?
January 10th, 2011. A Monday night. Torrential rain. Crawley Town 1-1 Derby County in the FA Cup third round. The clock ticks into injury time. Dean Howell takes a corner, left footed, an outswinger. He scuffs it a little, the ball going mostly along the ground to the edge of the area, in runs Sergio Torres, to calmly sidefoot the ball into the top corner and send 4500 people into pandemonium.

I would choose to be Sergio Torres in that moment.


7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?
With the league limit being at 70, probably when everyone is at 70. The beauty is, the limit will go up. Also, there's always going to be a "next big thing" to take a punt on.

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?
I seem to have stopped watching other people's games, so it's hard to say. Early days but Hamza Choudary could become that man for me.

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?
"What do you make of recent events on Love Island and TOWIE?"

And I'd storm out cos, they're recorded on my TiVo box and I'm not waiting around to be spoiled.


10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?
Mild Inflation Law Firm. Or MILF for short.

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Post by Renege Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 12:28

1. Not counting managerless clubs as that’s a cheap get out, then Hero looks like he’s got a hard job as he’s clearly built a squad to take the league by storm next season 

2. If I was a betting man, I’d put my money on Afro. So seeing I’m a betting man that doesn’t win much, not him.

3. Upsets happen.

4. Really couldn’t care less. Would be nice to see Juve win it I suppose.

5. I like to pretend I’ve got food poisoning when I’ve got a bad hangover and want to work from home.

6. The hand of god. Oh Diego.

7. I still need to add some more quality in a few positions.

8. Aliendro.

9. Why is Scottish football so bad.

10. Afro & Afros

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Post by Afro Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 12:42

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?

If its anyone but Bury, then I'd be surprised. Unless its MK Dons, which would be the best outcome for everyone.

2. Who is going to win the league?

Still early days, but there is a small gap forming. Nando is at the top, has bought very well and knows FIFA, so I'd go for him.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?


Only playing as MK Dons and losing to anyone.

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?

PSG - I'd like to see Buffon finally get his hands on the trophy.

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?


The two most painful injuries are stubbing your toe or standing on an upturned plug. So probably one of those.

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?

Kevin Sheedy v Ipswich, FA Cup 6th Round in 1985. Steps up and puts it in the top corner. Crowd erupts only for the referee to order a retake.

So he duly steps up and puts it in the opposite top corner

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?


Never. Continuous improvement and building for next season at the same time. Why settle for one when you can have both

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?


Castaignos. I think he looks a class striker and is, for me, the reason why Nando is at the top. Nothing to do with Nando of course.

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?

Can we have one of your Krispy Kreme

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?

Viva, Fury and Treble - stockpiling unwanted footballers for use in people trafficking as well as their own little fetish games
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Post by Take a boo Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 12:51

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?
Think it will be Bury, although a big shout out to Newport who have been doing very well considering they've gone pretty much all season without a manager.

2. Who is going to win the league?
Looking as though its a two horse race, Morecambe have a very strong side however Grimsby seem to be on a great run of form and may be the team to beat.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?
No, although then again you can't win anything with kids

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?
Liverpool Football Club

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?
Being able to barely lift my right arm due to the deep burn from doing over a thousand bicep curls.

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?
Trevor Sinclair's bicycle kick, used to love that as a kid.

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?
Getting close, I've now reached the phase where I'm selling my higher rated older players to accommodate youngsters. Will weaken my side short term however I'm hoping for a decent cash return in the long run.

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?
Luis Ibanez

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?
What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?
Stratton Oakmont, Jordan Belfort written all over it.

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Post by TwisT Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 13:55

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?

I am going to be close. I just can't seem to score no matter how attacking I play.

2. Who is going to win the league?

Morecambe I think. Brilliantly done by Afro

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?

More to do with the fact that churning out any old tactics proved a better choice than Ska doing it

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?

I am going to say Man United

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?

Herpes

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?

Tony Yeboah's volley against Newcastle

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?

I don't think you can. Even top rated players have struggled. It is more to do with recycling and looking for potential fifa and TM increases.

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?

I haven't been watching enough other games to judge really. AJ L-S seems to be doing really well considering he is an original player in the team

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?

For a million pounds would you throw a strop and storm out of this press conference?

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?

Afro Inc

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Post by Marky Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 15:20

TwisT wrote:6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?

Tony Yeboah's volley against Newcastle

Whoa whoa whoa. Any Tony Yeboah goal answer that isn't "the one against Liverpool" is wrong.

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Post by Fernando Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 15:27

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom? The team with no manager

2. Who is going to win the league? Afro or Hero

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury? premature ejaculation

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition? Barcelona

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating? carpal tunnel

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score? The Penalty on the last game at highbury

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more? ive not bought anyone in 3 weeks now Laugh

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league? the people top of the goalscorers/assists charts

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference? Suggestions of bumming

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost? Darren Fletcher's leaky bumhole managerial services

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Post by Fluxy Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 15:42

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?
Hopefully Lincoln. 

2. Who is going to win the league?
Liver... I fancy a 50p bet on Grimsby Town, although the mighty Carlisle could come back for a late run-in.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?
Having lost to Lincoln, but managed to defeat Bury a few weeks later, which in turn has sparked our unbeaten run, no not a lot. *clenches fist* I'll get you back Bam...

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?
Man Utd, just so that Solskjaer can rub it Jose's face. Otherwise someone like Dortmund or Ajax, just so there is a different winner and feel to the competition. 

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?
An injured phalange 

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?
Great question and too many to pick from really!
The Roberto Carlos free kick against France in 1997 would the one though - for the moment!

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?
Soon, although I am approaching the point of stockpiling money to upgrade the starting XI. 

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?
Considering I don't watch as many games as I used to, my answer will be slightly biased. However, Hudson-Odoi has been worth the goals and assists. 

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?
This one...

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?
Weiner & Cox - run by Hero and Bam

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Post by BamBam Tue 12 Feb 2019 - 17:13

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?

1 of the bottom 4 .. I don't understand why my team is so crap Laugh

2. Who is going to win the league?

Looking at the table, Grimsby or Morecambe. But based on the fact that I beat Morecambe and Grimsby needed a last min goal to beat me, and my team is schit, I'll go with Mansfield

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?

In my defence, I decided to use the game against the managerless opposition to send out the team with no player instructions, just a formation. I wanted to know whether I was being a help or a hindrance, and my conclusion based on watching that schit show is that THEY NEED ME.

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?

Anyone but City / Liverpool / PSG. Could even deal with the bellends from Barca winning it as long as its none of those 3

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?

A broken eyelash

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?

Fabio Grosso's to win the 2006 world cup. Can you imagine how many Italian lovelies he must have porked in the next two months?!

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?

I'm constantly on the lookout for the next kid who'll go up in value sharpish, even if it means binning one of my apparently, better players

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?

No idea, stopped watching other games when it got too depressing seeing actual attacking competence from other teams. I've done it scientifically, based on combined goals and assists this is the top 5, with their goals, assists and total

Jamille Matt 5 2 7
Philip Turpitz 5 2 7
Callum Hudson-Odoi 4 3 7
Carlos Fernandez 4 3 7
Josh Sheehan 2 5 7


9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?

Olly's sister asking me on a date

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?

Tight b4stards & co

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Post by nadeem2099 Wed 13 Feb 2019 - 13:25

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?
Any one of Macclesfield, Bury or Cheltenham.

2. Who is going to win the league?
It's between Grimsby and Morecambe.

3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?
I think bam shouldn't feel embarrassed. He should stand tall and wash away all the negativity surrounding his club. Sure he lost to a managerless team but Bam is taking more time to adapt to this new league and we shouldn't be too hard on the lad.

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?
My heart says Real Madrid and my mind also says Real Madrid.

5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?
'Dead Hand' from the inbetweeners.

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?
Zidane's goal in the Champions league final against Leverkusen.

7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?
When I've got a Real Madrid starting 11.

8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?
As Sun Tzu once famously said "There are a lot of different warriors with arts they specialise in. An archer may be brilliant from long range but in close combat he will be easily slain. A knight wearing armour may have high defensive stats but his mobility is compromised and he could be taken down by a more nimble armourless foe. The most effective warrior is the one who knows his weakness and is the most adept at covering it up"

9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?
"Is Messi better than Ronaldo"

10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?
Saul Goodman and Associates
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Post by Trebs Wed 13 Feb 2019 - 13:30

1. The table is getting much tighter: who do you think will finish bottom?

Cheltenham Town should just about be alright, especially given that they parked the bus to scrape a goalless draw with us. I'll say Bury, purely because they are a couple of miles away from my work and they don't have a manager.

2. Who is going to win the league?

That 0-0 draw has cost us hugely. We were on track to be thereabouts but now, it's all over. My only tactic is to crank up the pressure and say that both Grimsby and Morecambe are bottlers if they don't finish top. Hopefully then they'll get twitchy.



3. Is there much that is more embarrassing than playing as Lincoln and losing to (at the time) bottom of the league, managerless Bury?


It's a bit of a weird one playing games without a manager there - you never know what can happen. Don't be too hard on yourself mate.

4. The Champions League returns this week: who would you like to win the competition?

I'd like Man Utd to win it.


5. David Haye missed many boxing bouts with pathetic injuries whilst also being a Mr Winklechops. As a group of notorious bellends, I feel the question is: what weird and mild injury would you make up to skip out on a boxing beating?


I wouldn't make up any excuse to avoid a fight. The bottom line is that if Viva and Nick are in my corner then I would take on anyone. We're the dream team after all.

6. You can go back in time and score any goal in footballing history: which goal do you score?

I'd go back and score Lampard's goal in the 2006 World Cup. Go into half time 2-2 and we have every opportunity to go and win the tournament.



7. With transfers having gone on for many weeks now, at what point do you stop and take stock of what you've got, not adding any more?


I've not made any transfers for a long time, but I think that's mostly through not having any motivation rather than believing in my squad.


8. Who is the best, most effective player in the league?


I don't watch enough of the other games to give a fair answer. I don't really want to give out clues as to who I believe my best player is, but I think anyone who does their scouting on me would see I have a star man. Stop him and you'd beat me.


9. What question could you be asked that would make you storm out of a press conference?

I've stormed out of many leagues because of the atrocities that have been committed, let alone press conferences. But that's because I have a very fragile mentality - so there's a lot of things you could ask me that would make me storm out.


10. What's the name of the law firm that keeps trying to buy your players at mildly above their cost?

It's lawyers offers. Don't go overcomplicating things now.
Though I do think the league would be a better place for domestic transfers if they were scrapped. Nobody likes a lawyer.

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Post by Azzy Wed 13 Feb 2019 - 14:02

nadeem2099 wrote:As Sun Tzu once famously said "A knight wearing armour may have high defensive stats"
Did Sun Tzu invent FIFA? #mindblown

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Post by Afro Wed 13 Feb 2019 - 14:09

Trebs wrote:Though I do think the league would be a better place for domestic transfers if they were scrapped. Nobody likes a lawyer.

I would like to try a league at some point where you use FIFA valuations, don't have lawyers, but have unlimited releases and values don't get frozen.
Just to see how it works
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Post by Trebs Wed 13 Feb 2019 - 15:18

Afro wrote:
Trebs wrote:Though I do think the league would be a better place for domestic transfers if they were scrapped. Nobody likes a lawyer.

I would like to try a league at some point where you use FIFA valuations, don't have lawyers, but have unlimited releases and values don't get frozen.
Just to see how it works

Yes - that would be 100% better than the current system IMO.

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13th Press Conference (Week 11 matches) Empty Re: 13th Press Conference (Week 11 matches)

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