Random Factor, Like A Tractor...

First topic message reminder :

Random factor, like a tractor...
by luckless_pedestrian on Sat 28 May 2011, 5:06 pm

Hello. Following its roaring success on the old 606 (winner of six Luckies*) I thought I'd provide a space on 606v2 for you to post any irrelevant little things you fancy sharing.

I'll start: I've always had trouble with the line 'Love grows where my Rosemary goes.' If they'd chosen another name like Anne or Susan there'd be no problem, but rosemary's a herb so it could be 'Love goes where my rosemary grows.'


Last post by luckless_pedestrian Today at 17:17

I met a couple of lesbians in Lanzarote last year. They were snorkelling for clams.

I don't like people who take drugs, Customs men, for example.

Being a croc addict is quit dongerous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ9KtuRHXRc&noredirect=1

SubsBench wrote:I don't like people who take drugs, Customs men, for example.

Ja, specially when they take mine. I just hate it when happy drugs are totally and utterly wasted on fascists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmopROxBnBU

Albinos.

You can't say fairer than that.

I have a Stoke mandible.

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:I have a Stoke mandible.

Now your just jawing

I also have a sweet tooth, which is worth remembering before you tell me I look like I've just chewed a wasp.

I have sweet itch.

I have a green twitch

I have a Saunders foot.

I have artichoke ears.

My body is a temple. I use tobacco for incense.

Get your cloisters out.

I dream of Jeanie... with the light-brown jubblies.

Always loved the inside of her bottle (or vase?) with all them cushions.
You'd never want to leave would you?

E.T. - the Extra Testicle.

Black Beauty - imagine riding with the wind blowing through your pubes...

My name's Caroline and later on I'll be having laser eye surgery with Optimax.

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks
Into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'


Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
Great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me
From the Elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f**kin' liar......

Loike!

"just coz you smelt it, don't mean I dealt it
Just coz you heard it, don't mean I unfurled it
Rumour has it poo, rumour has it poo..."

Where do farts go when you hold them in?
How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it?
I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it?
The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later.
It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

Held farts are such an anticlimax.

I also find that the more you try to hide the sound of a "ploppy" Poopie, the louder the plops get.

A worse anticlimax is when you're about to sneeze and it disappears. Where do sneezes go?

Mine never disappear, they appear very much. My capacity for mucus production is prodigious.

I bet the sheep love you then

Glas a du wrote:My capacity for fungus production is prodigious.

I thought as much.

I drink a lot of milk.

Moo too.

Look, I'm not going to argue the t0sser with you...

Listen, I've herd that very, very, very infrequently in these ports.

Hello Saolor.

I'd lilo if I were you.

I suspect the suspects suspected those loose ropes to make their getaway.

...silence like the ivy groooooowwws

Miami Edelweiss.

and the neon shirts they wore...

"take a leaf out of Hashim Amla's Qur'an field..."

Corn on the peach cobbler.

Take a cop at the copper's clobber cobber.

...you pave Paradise... and put up a bait & tackle shop...

Pump up the jam roly-poly.

ride on thyme...

Rosemary's Babysitter

Sweet Margarine.

Penny Lane Closure.

Red Toast on Bitumen

Life on Marr's Ears.

Post Pluto Stress