The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Union Cane wrote:Decades, lol.

Oh Christ.

Not this again.

That is more than fair enough, Tino.

Raf couldn't resist typing something from Reunion, remember? Or was it from Seychelles?
Wherever it was from... it sounded too nice to be interrupted by Culture Cup duties.

You're more forgiving than I am TLD. Although to fair it's been a good while since Tino has managed a witty or educational post, so it was unlikely he'd have come up with one last week.

Morning all.

LD, thoughts on Nick Cummins? YouTube'd some of his interviews last night. Bloke is very funny - 'Sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage'.

Went to Seychelles Mauritius and Reunion, LD. To be honest, outside of the beaches, those places are more holidays for married middle aged people and their kids.

I am not sure if Tino is Acker Bill or not but I do know for a fact that he has the largest selection of Jazz Mags in the UK.

kingraf wrote:Morning lads. A particularly beautiful one at that. the local T20 competition is running a fan contest, in which if you catch a ball one handed, you win your share of a million rand. In the first round of the competition, some kid did just that, and it seems he can't get his share as he's under eighteen... You'd think they'd make that condition clearer.

Sounds great.

During the lunch break at the Ashes, I was walking by the bronze statues heading towards the "food caravans"... where bunches of kids were playing cricket, smashing balls all over the place. You know... completely unlike our current lot in the UAE.

I had a drink in my hand as this ginger-haired kid absolutely hammered a ball (pull... or hook shot... didn't even see it come off the bat) and I stuck out my right paw like a black panther... at exactly the right instant... and plucked it clean. I can still feel the compression in the dead centre of my palm.

Lucky it was a spongy type ball and not a real one. That would have stung. I got a huge cheer from the kiddies but I barely broke stride as I approached the end of the food queue.

JuliusHMarx wrote:You're more forgiving than I am TLD. Although to fair it's been a good while since Tino has managed a witty or educational post, so it was unlikely he'd have come up with one last week.

I actually came up with loads of witty and educational stuff, but didn't post any of them and now I've forgotten them all.

LD, did you see that story about the chap surfing in Western Australia somewhere that didn't bother getting out of the water even when everyone else was swimming for their lives as a shark swam around the beech?

He said something like, and I paraphrase, "Aw mate, it was a ripper of a wave. Bonzer. The shark wasn't after me, mate, it was doing it's thing. If it's gonna eat ya, it's gonna eat ya. Can't do nothing about it, mate. And what a beaut of a shark. Ripper. I didn't want to panic and make it get anxious so I stayed on me board, mate. I was frustrated with all those dags who ran off screaming. Bunch of girls. Laters, cobber. I'm off for a barbie down at the beech".

I made some of this up, but that was the gist of what he was saying.

Adam D wrote:I am not sure if Tino is Acker Bill or not but I do know for a fact that he has the largest selection of Jazz Mags in the UK.

Does anybody have them anymore with the internet around?

I used to get mine from roadsides in plastic bags. I don't think I ever actually went into a shop and bought one. Might have stolen a couple but normally no need when you could readily find them on the side of the road.

It is a great competition. I'm going to try get it at SuperSport park, as the place is literally a park. Much easier to run around and try get it, whereas at the BullRing, you need an element of luck, as you don't really have that movement freedom.

I see the Virgin Space craft crashed. I'm not the pilot.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:...no need when you could readily find them on the side of the road.

That's also where I found a few of my 'girlfriends'.

Found the story.

Those pictures are amazing.

Spoiler:

How did one bloke survive that (albeit properly phucked up)?

Tino, yes, he sounds like your typical plank. A washed out former grommet no doubt!

They are too thick - after years of sand & water in their ears - to worry about the reality of sharks. Another bloke here got half his foot chewed off the other day. Lucky escape. It was if the shark was telling him to "move on".

Also, another 15 y.o. was struck and killed by a bolt of lightening the same day. There's been a few recent ones on isolated headlands, in the middle of paddocks, etc.  

Ironically, Nick Cummins comes across as a similar type "ocker character"... but he has entertainment value and is pretty funny sometimes. At other times; he tries too hard to impress and it's rather cringe-worthy listening to him. He definitely exaggerates his stories in front of the cameras. He is a very unusual character... even for us.


I guess it's the same 2 old lessons:

1. Don't swim with sharks.
2. Do not stand outside in a thunderstorm.

Yes, but did the lightening make him look better?

I'm a bloke, I'm an ocker and I really love your knockers, I'm a labourer by day, I pi55 up all me pay....

kingraf wrote:Yes, but did the lightening make him look better?

Only for a brief instant, Raf.

For about 0.00245 milliseconds or something?

Yes, but those 0.00245 milliseconds last forever.

kingraf wrote:Yes, but those 0.00245 milliseconds last forever.

Beech?

Lightening?

Where's the Linlithgow Flash and Jeff this morning? I feel a storm a-brewing. Light'nin' an' all.

Looks like Shah has been trolling DAVE667

Good work.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/rugbyleague/11204650/Rugby-League-team-Keighley-Cougars-website-reads-I-love-you-Isis-after-hacking.html

Watched a program on Afghan last night. Didn't realise how cr@p our armed forces have become (possibly just the management of them). We are a nation of soft c0cks these days.

Odd one out please:

1. All night long, you've been looking at me
Well, you know you're the dance hall cutie that you longed to be

2. You suck my blood like a leech
You break the law and you breach
Screw my brain till it hurts
You've taken all my money - you still want more,

3. Oh you gonna take me home tonight
Oh down beside that red fire light

4. The chills that you spill up my back,
Keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done,
Satisfaction of what's to come.

5. Hey, where did we go
Days when the rains came ?

Adam D wrote:

5. Hey, where did we go
Days when the rains came ?

Van Morrison. Brown Eyed Girl.

3. Fat-bottomed girls - Queen
5. Brown-eyed girl - Van Morrison

Something to do with adjectives and females.

Correct with VM

Also correct Mr Marx.

Is the link all the racist and/or sexist terms Sean knows to call women from Asia or the Middle-East?

F*ck you tino. F*ck you and your lightening (sic) quick fingers.

4 is Dee-lite groove is in the heart

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Is the link all the racist and/or sexist terms Sean knows to call women from Asia or the Middle-East?

I'll have you know my older brothers ex was an Iraqi. Lovely girl, saved my life. Never made me a goat curry though......

rick_dagless wrote:4 is Dee-lite groove is in the heart

Correct!

Two to get

1 is Mud Tiger Feet.

Rowley wrote:1 is Mud Tiger Feet.

That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right

rick_dagless wrote:Looks like Shah has been trolling DAVE667

Good work.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/rugbyleague/11204650/Rugby-League-team-Keighley-Cougars-website-reads-I-love-you-Isis-after-hacking.html

How's that trolling me? Excellent work which would have been improves if the ISIS in question was the American metal band and Keighley Cougars wasn't the rugby team but the website of a bunch of dodgy looking Yorkshire MILFs

Just the only person on here from Keighley DAVE...

I'm impressed that they even have a website to be honest.

DAVE wrote:ISIS in question was the American metal band

Maybe it is, and it is just a massive mis-understanding.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Where's the Linlithgow Flasher and Jeff this morning? I feel a storm a-brewing. Light'nin' an' all.

That's what the local school kids call me.

I was going to do an odd one out lyrics quiz, but can't be bothered now. The odd one out was going to be Edison Lighthouse, Love grows where my Rosemary goes. That was because the others were going to be songs that contains types of dwellings rather than the artist. (Love Shack, Caravan of Love etc)

My overwhelming and unshakeable sense of ennui prevented me seeing this to fruition.

Jeff "Camus" Rowley...

Rowley wrote:

My overwhelming and unshakeable sense of ennui prevented me seeing this to fruition.

Whereas my overwhelming and unshakeable sense of you being a pompous c*ckhead has just been beautifully reinforced.

Feck. Just had lyrics quiz written out and closed the wrong f-ing window.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

My overwhelming and unshakeable sense of ennui prevented me seeing this to fruition.

Whereas my overwhelming and unshakeable sense of you being a pompous c*ckhead has just been beautifully reinforced.  

Sorry Tina. I try to dumb it down as best I can on here, but there is only so far I can go to mitigate for your lack of education.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

My overwhelming and unshakeable sense of ennui prevented me seeing this to fruition.

Whereas my overwhelming and unshakeable sense of you being a pompous c*ckhead has just been beautifully reinforced.  

Sorry Tina. I try to dumb it down as best I can on here, but there is only so far I can go to mitigate for your lack of education.

Don't get me wrong, I still like you. But that is more down to a lack of viable alternatives than anything else.

I'll take that Tina, is that kind of mentality that managed to secure me a wife.

Rowley wrote:I'll take that Tina, is that kind of mentality that managed to secure me a wife.

That and a catalogue full of impoverished Filipino teenagers.

superflyweight wrote:

Rowley wrote:I'll take that Tina, is that kind of mentality that managed to secure me a wife.

That and a catalogue full of impoverished Filipino teenagers.  

Man meets woman and then aaah, those three little words..."OK, you'll do!"

Odd one out and why.

1.) I'm what's left, I'm what's right. I'm the enemy. I'm the hand that will take you down, bring you to your knees

2.) But I can see you, your brown skin shinin' in the sun. You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby.

3.) Forget about the past and all your sorrows, the future won't last, it will soon be over tomorrow.

4.) I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry. There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why.

5.) I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20. So hurry up and bring your jukebox money

4 is against all odds by Phil "the demon" Collins or the Supremes or Mariah and Westlife

seanmichaels wrote:

5.) I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20. So hurry up and bring your jukebox money

Bloody right.

B-52's and Loveshack.

Is the link songs that contains types of dwellings rather than the artist?

5. is loveshack by the B52s