RWC 2011 prepararation guideline and rules for 606v2 posters.

The RWC is now imminent, it is there for important to prepare now rather than a day before the event. I thought it wise to set out a preparation guide and some rules to follow during this epic event.

Preparation guide.

Tell your wife/partner/girlfriend now that you will not be able to support them with any household tasks, budgetary requirements, shopping sprees or any emotional support for the next seven weeks.

Instruct her/him to remove any breakable items within reach of your favourite armchair.

Ensure all pets (this one is especially for GG) to a safe haven for the near future.

Ensure your subscription is paid up as you do not need any service provision cut offs during this time.

Tell your kids if they wanted to go for a sleep over, now is the time, give them some pocket money and tell them you expect them back when the RWC is over, and not before.

Ascertain which of your rugby buddies will be emotional wrecks during this time, and tell them you are going away.

Inform your doctor now of the impending change of season cold you will develop as there might be a rush from several likeminded people to get sick notes.

Ensure you have stocked up on all beverages and snacks required for the period. Treat it as you would a nuclear holocaust, so bunker in.

Ensure the remote control has new batteries, as you will be going back and forth playing actions in slow motion, and you do not want to be caught midway through a game with flat batteries.

Make sure your TV set is in good working condition.

Keep a back up generator for those unplanned power outages.

Do not invite any friends over WITH their wives and children, as they might get hungry and force you to barbeque whilst the match is on

Rules during the tournament.

If you want to experience the Haka more vividly, then get some war paint, put it on with some tribal motives, and do it in front of the mirror.

Do not listen to your own commentators, they will only give you a false impression of how good or poor your team really is.

Do not cry when listening to your national anthem, real rugby men don’t cry.

Do not look away when your wife calls, you may miss something.

Your wife/spouse/partner is there to bring you beverages and snacks, not to ask questions. If they want to know how it is going they should look at the score reflected in THE TOP LEFT HAND CORNER or the TV screen.

Tape the game, do not make notes for comment during the game, that is just poor judgement.

If your team is leading at half time, do not run to your laptop or computer, you will be stiff from sitting so first do a few warm-ups and stretches, you do not want to pull a hamstring and go to see the doctor.

Use a straw when drinking your beverage, it is difficult to watch the TV when the container nears empty and you have to throw your head back when drinking, you might miss something.

Ensure that you have heeded natures call before the game start, it is basically the same routine you will follow before taking a long trip.

If the phone rings, ignore it, after all that’s why your spouse/partner/girlfriend is there.

Commenting after the game.

If your team has lost, take a break, go lie down for a while, check your pulse, if back to normal, start commenting.

If your team has won, be gracious, be respectful, be nice, there are people hurting out there, AND IT IS YOUR TEAM’s FAULT.

Remember you can think what you want, but its not necessary to tell all.

To be diplomatic about the opposition team, start your sentence with:
With all due respect........
They put up a brave performance, but ultimately..................

Stay away from using words like, pathetic, useless, weak etc. When describing another team/players.

Remember there is no wrong answer, just stupid statements.

Remember to attack the argument not the poster. Don’t say you are an idiot, rather say your comment borders on ignorance. It means the same thing, only the Moderators can’t touch you if you use the latter statement.

Most important rule.

Don’t say “we will beat the Springboks”, it is wrong and provocative, rather say, “I hope we can be competitive and sneak a win” it is diplomatic, I will remain calm and be diplomatic back.

If you prefer to use the former statement I will respond with “ yeah, in your dreams mate” if you use the latter I will respond with “ yeah, in your dreams mate.” See the difference?

So good luck to all in your preparations, hope this has given you some ideas. And don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning.

Best article of the year

biltongbek wrote:

Rules during the tournament.

Your wife/spouse/partner is there to bring you beverages and snacks, not to ask questions.

Check wife/spouse/partner has flat head, if not think about trading in for a flat head model.........

Sorry to be a pedant Biltong, but do you think women won't be watching the RWC as well? You seem to have written it with married men in mind...

Love it!

Cari wrote:Sorry to be a pedant Biltong, but do you think women won't be watching the RWC as well? You seem to have written it with married men in mind...

On the contrary Cari, that is why i have put there, spouse/partner/girlfriend, as to encompass all. I actually thought i am being very liberal there.

It doesn't bother me...I think the article will be useful for those who are spoken for rather than single people.

Brilliant article Biltong, I've been telling the missus lately that she can basically forget I exist for the next few months. No, I won't be answering the door, helping cook, fixing anything, opening anything, etc. I basically won't be leaving the house unless it's burning down.

and even then, i'd be looking over my shoulder at the tv.............

andy powells minder wrote:and even then, i'd be looking over my shoulder at the tv.............

Exactly. And it would want to be a serious fire at that, not just something that only wipes out half the place.

towering inferno at least, if i dont see steve mcqueen outside, I'm stayin put!

andy powells minder wrote:towering inferno at least, if i dont see steve mcqueen outside, I'm stayin put!

Am already furiously changing my son's rugby fixtures for October! Some fool has scheduled games at the time of the Semis and Final!

That's just idiotic.

I've thought of that, i've got a fire extinguisher and fire blanket next to my man chair. I'll be able to fight it off for a couple extra seconds at least. Maybe long enough for the wife to carry me and the tv out.

That's using your noggin. All I've got is an old broom.

Well, if you didn't heed natures call before the game, and been topping up quite heavily, you might be able to stave off the flames for a while.

You forgot the bit about moving heavy, yet throwable objects from arms reach within the viewing vicinity. I've lost many a good tv/mirror/double glazed window through the injudicious re-placement of common household objects at high velocity following refereeing decisions that bordered on ignorance.

TheGreyGhost wrote:You forgot the bit about moving heavy, yet throwable objects from arms reach within the viewing vicinity. I've lost many a good tv/mirror/double glazed window through the injudicious re-placement of common household objects at high velocity following refereeing decisions that bordered on ignorance.

you're learning fast Ghost.

biltongbek wrote:Tell your wife/partner/girlfriend now that you will not be able to support them with any household tasks, budgetary requirements, shopping sprees or any emotional support for the next seven weeks.

Who does any of this stuff anyway??

I think it was a hypothetical.

Great stuff Biltong, though I don't ever see myself setting up the barbie between 4.30 and 8.30 in the morning when most matches are on the TV in Europe!!! Thought you lived in Yurp.

You don't do a breakfast barbie? What on earth to you wash down with your breakfast beer?

TheGreyGhost wrote:You don't do a breakfast barbie? What on earth to you wash down with your breakfast beer?

Guinness counts as breakfast on it's own doesn't it?

Sure does KRD (gazing into the Gravity Bar as I type).

Funny thing is my Kraut missus hasn't been with me long enough to experience me during a World Cup. I've warned her for three years. We're friends with an Irish girl/NZ guy couple and they're seriously considering giving us our own bachelor pad and getting more mattresses.

I think it's a splendid idea.

What an article

ha, love this article

Son-inlaw's brother manages a local pub. He has promised to open up for the Ireland Group games and serve Full Irish Breakfast at half time.

Useful for soaking up the Guinness consumed in the first half

Good article Biltongbek

Great stuff Biltong,full Irish at half time suring the Ireland games and maybe some fizzy drinks,. I think the drinking should be saved for after,the way Ireland are currently playing,it might make us feel better!

Biltong
Any tips then for those weekends when all the rowdy Aussie realtions turn up , and take over the house and fridge.

Throw another shrimp on the barbie and try and force them out there. Don't have any Fosters in the house,you won't attract them in then.

fosters isn't allowed on the property.

Surely that will help in keeping those Aussies out?

the two things on the banned list are fosters and cheap bundarderg rum. i'm trying to raise their standards.

Thomond wrote:Surely that will help in keeping those Aussies out?

Most Aussies won't touch Fosters with a barge poll, that's why they started exporting the stuff

Awesome Biltong. I'm going to have this framed and might look to have it published so all the incoming supporters can abide. We'll have to discuss how we split the royalties. It'll sell at all the the airports I reckon...

A little too long for the side of a steinlager can so I might have hit you up for an abridged version...or perhaps each of the bullet points can go underneath our Tui botle caps...

Saw the England team come in yesterday- man they looked tired...

taylorman
you gotta like Martin johnson, big flash welcome for the England team,and MJ wlks out of customs in a pair of shorts. you gotta love the guy..

Taylorman, if you can make a few bob out of it go for it,

The problem with getting lagered up at dark o'clock in the UK is that you are completely incapacitated for the rest of the day and end up watching drivel like Homes Under the Hammer because you are too drunk to know how to spell let alone work the TV.
Addition item for the original list - advise wife/partner etc (for Cari's benefit) of the penalties involved in her deleting the Sky + matches that you have taped but not yet watched.

Can this not be stickied for the World Cup? It is rather good.

InjuredYetAgain wrote:The problem with getting lagered up at dark o'clock in the UK is that you are completely incapacitated for the rest of the day and end up watching drivel like Homes Under the Hammer because you are too drunk to know how to spell let alone work the TV.
Addition item for the original list - advise wife/partner etc (for Cari's benefit) of the penalties involved in her deleting the Sky + matches that you have taped but not yet watched.

Sky+ uses tapes ? VHS or Betamax ?

Good rules and a very good article. As the games really do kick off at stupid o'clock over here (02.30, 03.30, 04.30) then my biggest problem is waking the mrs up by shouting, swearing etc when everywhere is silent. As it stands she just thinks I'm completely mad planning on getting up in the middle of the night just to watch a game of rugby.

Purchased a new tv especially, got the media room kind of set up but my Mum and her husband are here for the first 2 weeks and will be looking to do visiting toursit crap during the days, which is hard to accommodate when you have only had about two lots of 2 hours sleep. Already told them that nothing happens after the England games but I know HID will insist (they are on holiday after all, they have come 5000 miles to see you blah blah) that I'm roused and off walking round some crap hellish place such as Edmonton Mall or the like.

They arrive Friday, can't wait........

B91212 wrote:Good rules and a very good article. As the games really do kick off at stupid o'clock over here (02.30, 03.30, 04.30) then my biggest problem is waking the mrs up by shouting, swearing etc when everywhere is silent. As it stands she just thinks I'm completely mad planning on getting up in the middle of the night just to watch a game of rugby.

Purchased a new tv especially, got the media room kind of set up but my Mum and her husband are here for the first 2 weeks and will be looking to do visiting toursit crap during the days, which is hard to accommodate when you have only had about two lots of 2 hours sleep. Already told them that nothing happens after the England games but I know HID will insist (they are on holiday after all, they have come 5000 miles to see you blah blah) that I'm roused and off walking round some crap hellish place such as Edmonton Mall or the like.

They arrive Friday, can't wait........

So tell me, do the people in Canada look forwrd to the RWC, or are you one of the few?

Great article Will be taking HID to games in Invercargill and Nelson

great article, my misses already knows shes going to be a rugby widdow for a month, however i am going to email this to her while shes in work now just to drive the message home

I'd do the asme, but she'd probably email it back and ask me to open it for her..........................

Best article ever on 606v2, no question!

Excellent article !!

I'm at work but I now have an uncontrolable urge to rush home and start preparations.

aucklandlaurie wrote: the two things on the banned list are fosters and cheap bundarderg rum. i'm trying to raise their standards.

GASP!!!

Was doing ok till I saw Bundy out..... agree with the Foster's rubbish but.. No Bundy????